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Who's the bad ones guys or girls?
Hi I'm a 19 year old male. I just got hurt/used by this girl and have been hurt in the past numerous times so my opinion here might be kinda biased so looking for some other opinions. I feel like everytime I log onto Facebook or hear girls talk there something about guys being jerks and hurting them and there being no good guys left out there. Well I recently thought of it this way I'm sick of being hurt by girls and I'm sure other guys are too so maybe that's why there's no good guys out there? Because girls use and hurt and take advantage of the good guys that want to take care of you like me and then complain that we are jerks and asses and that's all you have to go to. Maybe if a girl didn't say she liked you and wanted to date and sleep with another guy a week later and hurt you when hour a nice guy and want to respect them but in turn you get screwed over every guy wouldn't be a jerk or a ass? I'm just curious to what others think or agree with me on this.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Typically guys always get called the bad guys, but most of the time girls are more emotional and let their emotions get the best of them. Some girls (like me) are to proud to admit they are wrong. I love when guys are sweet and kind to me, but i wouldn't ever cheat. I think it's sweet that you were sweet to her, but she cheated and used you. Sometimes girls are blind to see that a good guy has been there all along. I hope your relationships get better, and your luck with girls gets a lot better(:
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This is not about gender. This is about the stories we tell ourselves and others.
There are good people and bad people in the world. The human brain has a bad habit of selectively remembering what it wishes to remember, and reinforcing the story that it believes to be true.
In our culture, there are 'stories' people tell. Bad boys are 'players' and 'assholes'. Bad girls are 'sluts' and 'bitches'. These are the words we use to understand, and to tell each other, stories. But it's not the truth when it comes down to individual human beings.
The girls you are seeing on Facebook are telling and reinforcing stories. Like most stories: There is an element of truth to them. Like your story, there is also an element of bias.
Girls and boys: More alike than different. Just as capable of being just as good, or just as bad, as the other.
The story you are telling yourself is that girls are bad, but the truth is much simpler: You got hurt and you'll be hurt again. Since you like girls, it's most likely to be girls who will hurt you in the future.
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A lot of how women treat you is usually based on how you go about the entire thing, If you move too fast you are more likely to date someone that isn't the right one for you. This is generally why I like to remain friends for a good amount time before I jump into a relationship with someone. I'd assume this is how it is with pretty much anyone. They say it takes about 6 months to actually get to know someone well enough, That would be best of 6 months friendship.
You see, People have different perspectives but in my personal experience relationships are rather more successful if you get to know them first. Dating through mutual friends is probably the best way to go nowadays. This isn't really gender related, It's a matter of who you look for. Sometimes certain people have bad qualities, Other times it's a matter of what standards you have.
Looks can be deceiving don't get me wrong but sometimes if someone looks conceited they probably are. Usually you can tell a lot about a person through body language and if someone gives you a stare down, walks with their head held high in a bitchy manner then you probably know you order pass. There are good people out there but you have to find them. Sometimes in order to find a suitable partner you have to date around to find the one that you relate to the most.
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I don't think it has anything to dow ith gender I think it really depends on the person. Yes there are many girls that go after the 'bad boys' because its drama and its exciting. Even if the guy hurts us we still go abck for me. For guys there is always that one girl who knows how to pklay with your heart and wants to see how far you'll go. And then all of a sudden the girl leaves, leaving you with this feeling of what did you do wrong, right? It's the person. Yes there are always going to be people out there that play games with hearts. I like to think there are still good people out there who are looking for love. I stopped looking for the bad guys when I knew that it was pointless. Was it fun? Yes but to a certain point but then I realized if I'm really looking for a relationship I need to stop being so damn picky and choose someone based on personality. It's not all about looks and I feel that's what people are most interested in when they are younger. I know it seems hopeless now but you will find her, maybe change your outlook or maybe even look for a girl that isn't necessarily your type.
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