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hurt feelings over being seated in the back at a wedding
My husband and I attended His brother's daughter's wedding. We are the very immediate family.All of my husband's brothers and sisters(also immediate family) and their spouses were seated at the front of the room at table 1 and 2 ,however we were assigned seats in the very back of the room.We were surprised and saddened by their choice to put us there. The whole family is very kind ,loving and religious.There are no problems between any of us, we really love all of them. We feel so hurt. Should we address this? If so ,Is there a polite way to do it?I am lost and so hurt. Thank You
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Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
The question you need to ask yourself is why they seated you in the back of the room. Maybe they just don't like you and that was their cowardly way of telling you so. Are you annoying, self-centered, untidy, or just plain ugly? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then BINGO there's your answer, and I would suggest avoiding any public appearances from here on out. Of coarse I'm joking, mostly, and if anyone reading this takes me seriously then just take your head and stick it where the sun don't shine. You were wronged and made to be fools in front of your family and friends and you have every right to be outraged.
Not only were you not seated in the front at one of the family tables, you were assigned to sit in the back of the room. I can understand if space was limited and not everyone could sit at table 1 or 2, however, they didn't even make an attempt to seat you somewhat close to the front with the rest of the immediate family. Your so-called loving, caring, and religious in-laws chose to make complete asses of themselves by doing the same to you. Now it’s time to let the fun begin.
Revenge is sweet, fun, and justified. Most of the politically correct advice columnists in print would not agree with this revenge verdict, but that is because they are weak little cowards. There are several things you can do to get even:
Have your family and friends over for a party or holiday dinner, including your own personal family as well as your in-laws. When you all sit down to eat, make sure you seat your in-laws as far back in the room as possible, maybe even in another room. Better yet, have them sit at the kiddie table with the kids, assuming you or those flaming jackasses you call in-laws have any children.
You could confront them directly and ask them why they chose to embarrass you and your husband in front of everyone you know and love. If you don't get the answer you like, throw a drink in their face and ask them again why they chose to be rude and embarrass you in front of everyone you know and love. If you still don't get the answer you are looking for, throw another drink in their face.
Here’s yet another great way to accomplish your goal of getting even. You need to get each one of your husband's brothers and sisters together for a little one-on-one talk, each individually and not as a group. When you are alone together talking, drop something on the floor in front them. When they bend over to pick it up, kick them in the ass. However, maybe that task would be better handled by your husband.
Donald Trump was right on when he suggested recently getting even when someone takes advantage of you. Anyone cannot deny how good it feels to get revenge. At the very least you or your husband needs to confront your family on this issue. It doesn't matter how nice, loving, or self-righteously religious they are, if you do not get an answer, or at the very least some closure, this will eat you alive. You were wronged and it's time to make it right.
Now go out and have a nice sunshiny day!
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The wedding is over I assume. It may of been a mistake I think you should just let it go. There is no reason to cause an argument if one isn't already started. Just move on and continue loving your family.
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If you have mer andspoken to the family since the wedding and they have seemed as usual, then I would think that they sat you at the back because there was no other suitable place for you to sit.
If you've spoken to them and sensed a tension between you, then perhaps their motive for seating you at the back was driven by something else/ Be careful though, its easy to sense tension in someone's manner, ask your husband for hus opinion too, he might see it differently.
Is there someone uou could speak to about this, someone who's connected with the family and might have picked up on something said about the seating arrangements involving you?
You could try saying how much you appreciated sitting at the back because it was so much cooler, or had a wonderful view of the gardens, or it was easier for you to be first outside for the photographs, something along those lines. Be casual as you say it, almost like a joke; someone might say 'we put you there because.....' and then you'll know!
Try not to take it too much to heart though, families can be funny things! You still have to live with them, whatever the reason was.
Hope this helps, if you DO find out why they sat you at the back,let me know? GOod luck + best wishes!
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I can think of a few reasons as to why you were selected to sit in the back, all of which should have come with a brief explanation. There are only so many seats at a table and if all of the family cannot be accommodated at one or two tables then you select certain members to sit with people they know so they can have an enjoyable evening.
Usually you pick a close family member to do this for you. Someone who would not be offended but would understand. It is also possible that the Bride is closer to the other family members than you and your husband and you were selected on this basis. For whatever reason your brother or sister in-law should have said something to you so as not to injure your feelings when not seated with the rest of the family. No one likes to be treated as the family outcast which is I'm sure how you feel.
That being said, do you say something to your brother in-law. For you personally I would say no; you are the in-law. If he owes anyone an explanation it would be directly to his brother. If your husband does not wish to take the issue up with his brother then their may be an issue between them you are not aware of or something else. As the direct family member the issue is his to raise directly with his sibling, not yours.
At least that is how I see it. As someone who is also an in-law; when their are problems within my wife's family, unless she asks me to step in I sit on the sidelines and let her handle her family and I handle my family. We have done so for 40 plus years and I believe it is one of the secrets to our long successful marriage.
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It's hurtful to be seated in the back of a wedding but as much as you may think it's an insult do you know how many people are attending? I'm sure it wasn't done intentionally but I wouldn't come out an approach the situation either. Weddings can be stressful, They may of not realized it or maybe they had nowhere else to seat you and didn't think it would be much of a problem to seat you in the back? I would just be thanks full you got an invitation and leave it at that. When the wedding comes don't be strangers, It will only be more awkward and bothersome if you allow it too be. Be present and allow yourself to have a good time at the wedding, The last thing you really want to do is bring it up and upset the bride and groom....
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