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18/F
There is a boy I went to school with that I have had a crush on for awhile now so we finally started texting about 4 months ago, and we Finally hungout one day. We went to this beach and smoked and had a really good time, it seemed like we had lots of chemistry. We kissed at the end of the night. The problem is that he is always busy. He goes to college and has a job and puts his friends before everything so he never has time to hangout or even talk. I text him first probably 90% of the time. So we hungout again about a month ago and we ended up having sex. That was a month ago and we haven't talked since. I haven't texted him and he hasn't texted me.
So basically i'm thinking he used me? He just wanted to have sex? When we hungout it really seemed like we had a connection and he liked me but am I wrong, should I just give up?
I really liked him though. (link)
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He doesn't seem that interested, but I don't know if I would say he did anything wrong. Who initiated the sex? Did he push for it? If not, this doesn't appear to be particularly malicious as it doesn't sound like he set out to just have sex and not talk to you anymore. Things might just be as they are, not ulterior.
But if he did push for having sex with implications that a relationship would come of it, then yes, you were being used.
Either way, he doesn't seem that interested. I would move on.
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i love my boyfriend more than anything in this world, i can only see myself with him, but he is very aggressive, and he knows he has anger issues, but wont do anything about it, he has stopped me wearing make up, stopped me talking to friends or going out, even with my own family, he tells me im not good enough for him thats why he has to look at other girls and if i argue back , he grabs hold of my, either my neck or wrists and screams in my face, chucks me about or just punches me, the thing is he is very sstocky, im 5ft7 and i do kickboxing, so for a girl i thought i could handle myself, but he is 5ft10 and literally tripple my size, he overpowers me so much.hes not always like it though, he often cries and tells me he is going to change,but i doubt this will happen at all, he is nice when im on "the right side of him", he takes me to the cinema, for meals etc and buys me things, we spend cute weekends away together, but despite that , if i step out of line, he goes mad, puts the blame on to me, says its my fault, and the sad part about it is im actually starting to believe that its my fault why we argue. ive been warned about him , and ive been with him nearly a year.i cant find the strength to leave him, cos he always rings or texts etc if i go to leave him. what can i do? i love him so much, but i just want him to realise he cant take his anger out on me, maybe to get anger management? (link)
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You may love him more than anything in the world and he may value you more than anything, but the hard truth is he does not love you. He doesn't. Everything is about him, nothing is about you. You aren't considered, you aren't equally thought of, your mind simply doesn't seem to matter to him.
And as long as you stay with him, that's encouragement for him to continue to mistreat and abuse you. There seems to be no negative reaction to him mistreating you aside from a loop of guilt that will likely carry on forever unless there's a change. When caught in a loop, that is the only way to show him he can't do this.
It would be hard, but I would leave him. You have the strength, it's just a matter of channeling the will to say the few words that matter, then walking away. It would be in your best interest and it would show him just how wrong it is to treat you in such a way. The quality of both of your lives would vastly improve.
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hi, so im straight but when im horny i like to watch gay porn and jerk off with guys on webcam, i would only date a marry a girl, but in the locker room showers sometimes i get turned on looking at guys d*** and a**, dont tell me im gay or bisexual because i havnt done anything yet. what is this feeling i get when i am shpwer at the gym locker room? im 16 years old. is it just hormones and puberty? thanks!!! (link)
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You are clearly sexually attracted to men. Call that what you will, but you are not 100% straight.
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24f. I did something ridiculously stupid, I'm furious with myself for following the urge... I went and explored my boyfriend's messages on facebook. I have no suspicion of him cheating on me, I trust him completely, and I expected to find nothing.
Thinking logically, now, I really did find nothing. On-line flirting is not a crime in my mind, nor does it count as cheating. I don't believe in "emotional cheating," nor am I concerned about him doing this and causing problems within our relationship. We both have many friends of the opposite sex, and are both pathological flirts, really. Granted, I flirt to get what I need out of people (yes, I manipulate people, but I'm a patient advocate. Sometimes I have to build quick rapport with people in order to get them to help me help my patients) and he seems to just... flirt. Granted, he loves the validation, and I understand that, being aware of his history and how tough it's been for him. Knowing with all my heart and soul that he loves me deeply, and that I am the one he wants and wants to come home to, I don't have a problem with this.
Most of the time.
Sometimes I do feel like I have a problem with it, and when I see flirty messages with a random girl, it gets to me a little. I try very hard not to let it, but sometimes my emotions overrule my logical brain, which I despise. Logically, I know I should just let myself feel, talk it out with him, and ease my mind. But then I'd have to admit to him that I saw the messages - which is my own stupid fault in the first place. I'm not even going to pretend I wasn't snooping. I was.
What the heck is wrong with me?
I HATE girls like this. But I don't believe ignorance is bliss, either. I think what upsets me the most is that it's behind my back. He was messaging her from MY apartment while I was busy working from home. But I'd never have known had I not done the stupid girl thing and read his messages. He does things like leave his facebook up and his phone out because he trusts me not to be one of those crazy jealous girlfriends and "check up" on him - and normally I'm not. I don't know, maybe I just wanted to know what he'd been up to lately, since we've both been very busy.
I feel like I'm being irrational. Mind, I still don't think he's actually doing anything with this girl or anyone other than myself. But why am I so upset from having found flirty messages when it's my fault I found them in the first place?
Someone please give me some insight, here... (link)
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I believe this person is referring to messages, not a facebook wall.
My guess is this was snooping and it probably wasn't because you wanted to know what he'd been up to lately, because you would have just asked him, right?
Curiosity can be very powerful, especially if you haven't been in a lot of contact lately. It's human, but it also crosses a line. If he said he didn't care if you read his messages, that's one thing, but if that's not defined he has a right to be upset with you for invading his privacy. To what degree is uncertain, hopefully it won't be a big deal.
As to why you are upset, no matter how irrational, it's easy to feel invalidated when a significant other validates someone else. It's easy to feel left out and almost fear being replaced when you can see that he was flirtatious with someone else and not you at the time, but being flirtatious as you know is relatively harmless.
I think this curiosity and fear is stemmed from a lack of communication. I think you should think hard about what you want to know from him and have a thorough talk about this. Establish what you're ok with as far as flirting and everything else so you two have clear lines you won't cross. Don't be afraid to think of your own peace of mind and what it'll take to gain it.
I would mention and apologize for the invasion of privacy as it may bother you until you do.
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I'm a woman in my late 20's. I recently went on a first date with a guy, and we really hit it off. We ended up making out and going back to his place, where after more making out, I ended up initiating sex and spending the night (which is something I surprised myself by doing). I confided in him about my first negative sexual experience (at age 19), my lack of experience dating men, and what it's meant for my sexuality and dating life. He seemed taken aback and concerned, but we talked in the morning and had a somewhat normal, though awkward conversation. I told him how it wasn't easy saying such personal things. I left his place, texted to thank him for being so respectful, and invited him out for an event that night (I already told him about it during the date). He texted me, saying that he enjoyed my company as well, and that he could maybe join me that night. I got no response till the next day, when he said he was sorry he couldn't make it, and asked me how it was. He didn't ask for a second date, and hasn't texted me in three days. I haven't texted him since-I feel if he were interested, he'd do more. I am concerned that my personal information (about my sexual/dating history) made him back off. I think I sabotaged any chances of things developing between us, by jumping in too quickly and telling him too much, too soon. Any thoughts or advice on this? (link)
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I don't think you've doomed your chances. You clearly gave an intense first impression, but people who base their entire view of a person on a first impression aren't worth your time. It seems like he's interested enough to keep in contact, even if it does seem firmly rooted in a friend zone, so you aren't completely doomed. Try to spend time with him again and let him get a more accurate reading of who you are.
He could be scared away from a relationship or maybe he's not putting nearly as much thought into it as you are. Maybe he's just doing what he would naturally do and if a second date hits, it does and if not, it doesn't. Maybe he's a jerk and he got what he wanted on the first date. It's hard to say. The way he acts seems pretty ambiguous to me.
Honestly, from what you've described, I personally wouldn't have been scared away, so I don't think you did anything horribly wrong. If you scared him, maybe this guy just isn't right for you. But try a bit more to have a second date to determine that.
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Hello, I'm a 15 year old female, currently a Sophmore in Highschool. I have a HUGE dilemma. Let me just say how this all started(sorry for this being a long question):
In 8th grade, a new girl came to school and we became good friends. I llater found out she had a boyfriend 5 years older than her. She introduced me to him and all 3 of us became really good friends. Last year in Freshman year, I realized she treated him like shit and I didn't really like that.. I started noticing how much it bothered me, and I knew she had cheated on him about 3 times. She finally told him, and she broke up with him. Her and I's relationship faded because I realized how much of a bitch she is. But me and her ex-boyfriend stayed really good friends. 3 months after this, he told me he loved me and I realized I loved him too(I know how cheesy this sounds). So we dated for about 6 months, when I accidentally left my Skype open at home and my father read everything we ever said to each other on it. Of course, him being 19 and me 14 at the time, he flipped out. So he gave me a decision to either call the police for sagitory rape and he goes to jail, or call him on speaker phone while he listens to me break up with him. Of course, I chose the breaking up option. A week after, I learned that my old friend(his ex)contacted him and told him lies about me like I never loved him and stuff like that. He didn't talk to me for 3 months and I finally ran into him walking to school. I stopped him and told him everything and he forgave me. So we just recently started dating again, and I think all these events have just made us love each other more. We talk on the phone all night, every night. We always talk about our future together like getting married and having kids. But something is really bothering me. You see, a couple days ago I told him I considered dropping out of school and just getting my GED and going to community college instead of University, so that we could live with each other sooner. And he took this seriously even though I was only thinking about it. I know he's much older than me, which is why he's thinking this, but he told me he's ready to start our life together. I'm not ready yet, but he said that if I did decide to wait to move in with him after senior year, there would be a chance he would leave me because he's not getting any younger and he wants to start his life. I love him more than anything in the world, and I would do anything for him and I don't want to lose him. My life dream has been to get a Master's degree in graphics design at the University of Oregon. But he's pretty much made it clear that there's two decisions: Him, GED, and Community college. Or University, my life's dream, and MAYBE him. This is a huge decision for me though. I really want to drop out and move in with him because I love him so much. But I'm also worried about what my parents will think about it all. But he also promised me that he would never leave me if I decided to drop out, so it wouldn't be for nothing. But my mind is still clouded.
Please, please help me I need assistance. (link)
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Make your decision based on your own life, not something he says. An ultimatum like that is ridiculous. He's not getting any younger? He's only 19-20. That's pretty damn young. Go to school, give your dream a shot and if he actually loves you as much as he said he did, he won't leave. This whole thing makes no sense. He's being monumentally selfish and thinking only about what benefits him, not what benefits you. Think of it this way: Would you ask him to give up on a dream for something like this?
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I can never seem to think of my children first. I am in a deep depression right now, honestly. I lost someone very important to me. This will make me sound the worst type of white trash, but I am desprate. I dated this guy shortly before he did 6 years in prison. I wrote at first, but then.. well , I'm 25 at the time, relativly attractive, and never did promise to "wait". Took the advice that cons are losers , move on, etc. Broke his heart when I had my son. Fast forward 3 years, He and I have been talking, gonna work it out, etc., till I meet a nice guy, good job, promises me the moon etc etc. Once again listening to "common sense" left Derrick odd man out. My heart broke when I saw his face when I told him. Dream guy leaves me flat, Derrick and I hook up breifly, but now all this dirt between us. he leaves me flat for a minor lotto winners daughter, who feeds him booze and pills. Blah his bad but still, like he said, Karma. Look what I did. I mess up my whole life, for what? I can't sleep, and whenever I ask someone what to do , they say don't hurt yourself for the kids sake. I can barely look at myself, let alone them. Right now, I can't think of anything but my selfish acts. Since I don't trust my friends, or even counsalor anymore for advice, I come here. How can I forgive myself for basically hurting the one I love more than ANYTHING, sad but yes before the kids.. and ruining my life ? I am a 32 year old woman, btw. (link)
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We all make mistakes. We all hurt people we care about. It's just being human. What you need to understand is your life isn't about him. Your life is about you. You are responsible for your own happiness and he is responsible for his. You need to find a way to be happy with yourself so your happiness doesn't depend on someone else.
You were together and you left him under bad advice, but then you got back together. Afterwhich, all you did was what anyone could have done. You found someone else and chose to be with that someone else. It wasn't some horrible, life-ending decision, people go through this all the time. It turned out the new guy wasn't all he was cracked up to be, but that happens. You didn't ruin anyone's life.
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To start off My boyfriend and I have been together for a little less then a year, he has a little girl who is three that I adore and spend a lot of time with. He's 22, he told me before we got together has was snipped so if I was expecting to have kids with someone someday he was not the guy. I was fine with this, seeing as I don't want kids, and if I do, not anytime soon, I'm fine with having just his little girl around if things do work out with us. When I spoke with my parents about him a while back my mom asked if we were being safe, seeing as I moved in just a few months after we started dating. I informed her she had nothing to worry about.
Well, now I am not so sure, I've missed two periods, it's normal for me to miss one every now and then, but never two in a row.
I trust my boyfriend wouldn't lie to me about getting a vasectomy, but in the off chance he did, I have no idea how to feel or what to do.
I'm taking a test later today(I informed him of this) He's fine with me taking it and says better safe than sorry.
If I am pregnant though, I'm not sure what to do, I have a minimum wage job and he can barely afford child support for his daughter as it is. I don't know to yell and be mad that he lied, or be hurt that he told me he loved me and knowingly lied to me every time we had sex.
On the other hand I'll feel like a complete bitch if I call him a liar and than I am shown physical proof he had a vasectomy.
How do I confront him if I am pregnant?
I don't know what to do. (link)
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First off, vasectomies aren't 100%. It's exceptionally unlikely, but people do get others pregnant after having a vasectomy.
Missing two periods is a cause for concern and a pregnancy test is a good idea, but I would say it's not uncommon for women to suddenly miss two periods. In fact, in the last 3 months, two people I know missed two periods.
If you are pregnant and don't want a child, there's adoption and abortion. You don't have to keep the child.
Unfortunately, I know of no way to tell whether or not someone is lying about a vasectomy short of looking for the small marks from incisions. I would give him the benefit of the doubt.
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Why would a family adopt me then when I'm out on my own(21 now) they just throw me away?
They never call or tell me that they care for me, once I was out the door when I turned 18, it was if they were done with me.
Our last conversation via text-
Me- Where are you at?
Mom- Home for a week
Me- Really nobody told me
Mom- I told you I would be home around September
(My thoughts- Why wouldn't she just call and tell me she was in town when she has been in town for ten days)
Me- You probably told my brothers you were in town.
Mom- No response
Me- I'll come by to get the rest of my things then you won't have to see me anymore
Mom- Suit yourself
Me- Why the hell did you even adopt me?
Mom- No response
Me- To ruin my life?
Me- You're just a wicked woman that claims to be a saint
Me- I read your journal where you said it's so much better when I'm not around so you should be really happy now
Me- Now you got nothing to say. Why don't you tell me you hate me and so does the whole family atleast you can be an honest person then. The only one that ever cared about me was granddaddy and he's gone now
Me- You're so blessed you can't even give anyone else a blessing. God gave you a family. Well guess what I got none.
Me- So be happy and sit on your pedistool and tell me how you hate me and tell me how there's always something wrong with me like you use to nag all the time. You say you don't gossip and put yourself above everyone but you're just a liar because you do gossip.
Me- So go tell the family like you always do and so that they can hate me. You have always been good at turning everyone against me.
Mom- There's no answer to satisfy a raging woman. I have your things in the living room when you want to stop by.
Me- You're so wrong. A raging woman? You can't even say a daughter or ever tell me that you love me. No wonder you don't ever call. You're such a saint. (She thinks she's a christian that does everything right)
Ugh. I know my tone here sounds a little wrong but I am enraged. I'm angry at her for never calling or caring about me. For gossiping to the family about my faults. For never being there to stand for me or help me. I have made mistakes in the past but so does everyone else. No one in the family wanted her to adopt me and now they got their wish. I'm gone and they think it's alright to treat me like this - someone that has no other family. They all threw me away. There's nothing to do to make this better. They're not going to change. Now what? How do people live without a family? Or anyone that cares about them? I never get any phone calls. Nobody there to support me or help me make the right decisions. Nobody there that gives a damn. Should I just kill myself? What the hell am I going to do? I have nothing.
(link)
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I can't speak for your relationship in general, because there's no way I would know. But judging from this text conversation, she does at least care about you. You aren't nothing to her. I'll give you a list of reasons for thinking so:
1. You are the one who antagonized her in the text conversation. She worded some things horribly, but I don't see any ill feelings towards you in it at all.
2. Text conversations are completely without emotion or emphasis or anything. It's just text. It's hard to tell how someone feels with texts.
3. You provoked her to come out and say just how she feels about you. You seemed to want blunt honesty and she responded saying there's no response that would calm you down while you're this angry. If she didn't care for you, she would simply say so and end it there. So in that, she responded with your feelings in mind and so she cares for you.
4. When people move out, they grow distant. You look at her and all you can see is that she doesn't contact you to reassure you of her love or anything else. I've seen this happen to someone close and she struggled with the same notion that her parents don't and never did care. But when she started dating the boyfriend she moved in with, her mother threatened him if he ever hurt her. You don't do that to someone you don't care about. So if a parent is so absorbed with their own life that they don't contact their children after they move out, that doesn't necessarily mean they don't care.
All I'm saying is maybe she does care. I've seen no evidence to the contrary. I in no way condone anything you say she does. That sucks, but doesn't necessarily mean she doesn't care.
And no, you shouldn't kill yourself. What you should do is look forward and concentrate on where your life is going, not where it came from.
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My boyfriend & I are haviing our 2-year anniversary on Tuesday and I haven't had time to get him a gift until now. To top it off, my budget is about $30. We're only in high school so anything sex-related is out. I know there are some diy ideas out there, but I've given him cupcakes/brownies lots of times so i'dd rather not go there again, I've made him a picture frame, and I've given him several stuffed animals. He loves his car, his phone, technology, video games, & the avengers. My friend suggested I buy him like something for his favorite sports team but he doesn't have any. He also doesn't really wear cologne. Plus even if he did that's not very "anniversary"ish? I don't know. Any ideas? Maybe gifts that you've liked? (link)
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The Avengers comes out on DVD and BD on Tuesday, get him that.
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I need some new free virus protection
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I've used malwarebites
norton 60 day trial already on computer
mcfee
I will not use bullguard.
Any others for me to use, I've used all my free trials and I am unprotected. (link)
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avast.
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18/m .M and my girlfriend,we had sex last night for the 1st time.I pulled it out on time.I was not using a condom.And in few minutes we did it again.Now i am scared whether she should take birth controlling tablets. (link)
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I know people that have gotten pregnant from the pull out method alone. It is probably the least effective method. If you don't want to deal with a pregnancy, yes, I advise that you two use at least one form of birth control, whether it be the pill or condoms or whatever else. Go to your local clinic, planned parenthood or it's equivalent, and ask for options. There's a morning after pill she can take and it might be free to get it there.
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Hi, 16/f
Basically in the past I have been bullied and taken advantage of by boys and just messed around.. nothing major just little things, but it still makes me uneasy. Every time a boy I don't know will say hi to me or ask me a question I always think they are joking or that they will walk away and laugh to my friends about me.. I always think they have been put up to talk to me as a joke or something. Because I always think this I act very blunt, answering just 'yes' or 'no' sometimes I don't even reply. It's really hard for me when I see my friends talking to boys because it makes me think I'll never find someone that actually loves me because I'll never actually believe them.
How do I stop this? What can I do? (link)
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I've done something like this before. In fact, I've turned down someone I was really interested in because she had a friend ask for her... twice! haha, I still occasionally think back and regret finding out if our friends were just messing with me. I don't think they were.
Things eventually worked out and my guess is they will for you as well. My advice is to weigh things out. Is it worth the risk?
Maybe think of it this way: if a boy tries to talk to you and then walks away and laughs, they're a jerk. They aren't worth much of anything at all to you and now you know that for sure. That's the worst case scenario. The best case scenario for avoiding the conversation is that you'll never know if they were a jerk or not. For me, it would be better to know they were a jerk than to never know if they were seriously interested in you.
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So, I used to be really good friends with a girl. So good of friends that even after all of our highs and lows and now our dormant relationship I still consider her to be my greatest and most best friend ever.
One day she admits to me that I might be thinking of our relationship more than it actually is. She said that she considered me a "so-so" friend. I was torn to pieces and I didn't talk to her for a while. I still sometimes feel tinges of mistrust in obvious truths. It's like it's a part of my subconscious now. I eventually apologized to her for being so rash and that I should have never acted like that. She then apologized for ever saying anything in the first place because she then realized how much of a friend I was to her. But by then, too much damage had been done. We tried to return to the way we were before but it was never going to be the same.
Occasionally we'd talk for a bit. Mostly about how much we miss each other and apologizing and saying how much we mean to each other and promising to try to make it how it was. But now it's not even that. We always broke those promises almost immediately.
My question is, why do neither of us put in the effort? It'd be worth it. I just don't understand why we'd let our friendship waste away like this. (link)
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It's a chemistry that you lack and unfortunately it's something you can't force. It's awkward, but you can't make an awkward situation less so by dwelling on it. It's likely that it's awkward because there's so much thought put into it. It sounds like it's gotten to the point where expectations are too high and you are both sabotaging your friendship with fear of it ending.
My advice would be to just close your eyes to all the thoughts of it not being the way it was and try to just throw yourself into talking/hanging out with her. Don't put much thought into it or talk about how it's not the same. And if the chemistry is there, it's there. If it's not, but it's still nice to spend time together, keep at it. If nothing is there at all, then that's unfortunate, but some people just plain grow apart. People change.
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im a female 18, basically me and my ex ended 2months ago today exact :(
i dont know how to move and get used to the fact of not being with him, we were together around 1 year.
All i do is think of him it annoys me so much..
i know he cares still but he lets his pride take over thats why he dont wanna show any emotions, had to delete him of BBM, facebook and block on twitter :( cause everytime i saw him it reminded me of him..
thing is i'm applying to the same university as he got accepted in this year.. what if i see him again next year? To be honest hes my first real love, never been in love this way never thought a break up will hurt so much it sucks :(
last time we spoke he said 'i know the reason why you deleted me off blackberry messenger, he said it was better we didnt keep in contact so we can move on and forget eachother' :( i didnt reply cause that really hurt.
I feel he hates me , but at the same time theres something in me that says he hasn't moved on..
i know boys are like that they don't ever show emotion . I just simply don't know what to do..
theres guys that ask me out on dates but i just aint ready for dating anyone knew, i thought i started to like someone else but i don't wanna feel guilty and go out with someone just to forget my ex thats really selfish. Hes a great guy and all but i just don't feel that connection between us, were friends but i know he wants more than that, i cant deny that when we don't talk i start to miss him or something , thats weird right?..
Gosh, i start to look back at our old convos and i ask myself where did i go wrong? :(
i don't think im going to be able to date anyone soon , i love my ex an i believe love can over come anything. But im so afraid his feelings will go.
i know he aint moved on cause he really loved me im his first love too.. ah sighhh :(
depressed ... i go out but i just cant seem to enjoy myself anymore
please help :(
thankyou
(link)
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It's hard and there is no easy, quick way. It's gradual. Maybe tomorrow you'll think of him a little less. Maybe the next day you'll be so distracted that you hardly noticed him, but the day after that he's all you'll think about. And then the day after that you might think of him less. Sometimes it takes a really long time to get over someone, but it does eventually happen. You are doing the right thing by giving yourself space from him.
Put forth effort into other things that'll draw your attention away. Is there anything you enjoy, but don't do much of? Art or music? A sport or fashion? Any hobby of some sort. When you find yourself dwelling on him, try to concentrate on something else. That's the only way I know how to get over someone faster. But still, it takes time.
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I am trying to get over my best friend, because he has a girlfriend, so I'm going to stop talking to him for awhile until i don't care AS much as I do now..But in the meantime I recently started this altered book for him, because he really wanted me to make him one, And i've been working on it alot in hopes to finish it so he can have it by his birthday (December 10th) So i'm not sure if i should stop working on that while i'm not talking to him, because I know it will make me think of him a lot, the whole time i'm doing it. Kinda a dumb question but I'm just trying to do what's best for me I guess.
Anything helps, thank you
-18 female. (link)
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No, I disagree. This seems like a very good, tricky question.
I guess I would just weigh things out. How important is this to him? Is it important enough to put yourself through the stress of dwelling on him while you work on it? It sounds like he doesn't necessarily want it at any specific point in time, so I would honestly hold off until you're a little more comfortable with it.
You are doing the right thing by not getting in the way of his relationship though, so hats off to you for that.
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hi,
i wanted to get some advice about staying with my on and off again husband. we ve been married for 7 yrs and seperated for 1yr off and on. we have a history of abuse only because i use to pick arguments and fist fights with him to have my way. we now have 3 kids together. he has a son thats 2 months younger than our 1st born and he and her are 8 yrs old. although we werent not married when our first child was conceived but just the confirmation of the dna test for the son he has devasted me so bad i beat him so bad. he continues to take me back even though i ugly and mean to him. he continues to forgive me over and over again, but not this time even though the physical abuse stopped i still continue to pick on him but now he doesnt want me at all or at least for now. i desperately want to seek counseling both marital and self but im not sure how to convince him that i love him more than he knows and im truly sorry for negectly and abusing him.
please help,
apologectic wife
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There's a myth that physical abuse from a woman to a man isn't as big of a deal as physical abuse from a man to a woman. It's always a big deal. He's given you more chances than you should have gotten. Even if the abuse has stopped, you really can't expect and don't deserve to get more chances. You should seek counseling anyway to avoid such a relationship happening in the future with someone else, but at this point all you can do is plead your case and explain your plans of change as thoroughly as possible.
In the end, you can't control him. You can't somehow make him stay. He's a person in control of his own decisions. It's up to him.
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hi. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and we've been living together for 2 of those years. in the beginning it was so different we never fought we were two young people in love now a days it seems just the opposite. I just recently got laid off of my job and I've been crucially searching for a new one. in this month that I've been out a job we have been fighting non stop. but it's mainly him yelling at me constantly over the stupidest things and making me cry and not caring. talking to him gets nowhere and he constantly threatens me saying he's not gonna deal with my shit for forever. I love him a lot or so I think. he's the one person that I've been with since I was 18 and he's always been the person I've seen myself marrying and having children with. I dont know how to leave or if I should. he's been spending more time in the other rooms of our house away from me. sometimes he's great
sweet takes me out and actually acts like he loves me but I don't know if it's jut because we've been spending more time together because I have no job or what. I've even gone as far as looking up ways to improve realtion ships and sex life. I do everything for him. and nothing works. I find myself crying myself to sleep and wishing things would go back to the way they use to be. he is bipolar and his mom and I talk about how he treats me and she doesn't understand why he is that way to me. she doesn't expect me to stay much longer cause she knows how bad things are. (link)
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The sad truth is that you're probably just now getting to know the real him. When you start dating, people tend to be constantly on guard, making all choices depend on how the other person will react. Usually, after you move in you get so used to the other person that you stop paying such close attention and start acting like your real self. Sometimes people have anger issues that are too severe and this phase tends to be a relationship killer for them.
You said you tried everything, including talking to him, and it changed nothing. He will likely continue on this way until you make him stop. Tell him exactly how bad it is and that he needs to make a change in himself or he will lose you. After that, if he makes a solid effort to change or get help, good. If not, he's honestly not worth it and you should leave him. Either way, you shouldn't have to live like this.
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So, a few days ago I adopted a cat.
I'm a college student and I'm paying my way through school so I don't have a lot of money. I have a enough to take care of the cat though.
But yesterday I found out my apartment asks for a $400 dollar pet deposit which I cannot afford right now. I
After school I only have about $500 a month for groceries and things.
So far, I haven't told my apartment I adopted a cat. What do you think is the worst they would do if they eventually found out? Just ask I pay it?
Should I tell them and try to work out a payment plan or something. I'm just worried they'll want all the money up front and I have no way to do that. I would be devastated if I had to give her up.
I'm just looking for advice on the smartest actions.
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With all the things that come with owning a pet, I think they're more expensive than you might think. If it's a kitten that hasn't had vaccinations, that could be up to 100 dollars in vaccinations alone, 50 dollars for an exam, up to 150 to get it neutered or spayed, not to mention the cost of any treatment for health problems it might have, which can be pretty expensive. That's just for the vet alone. I'm sorry to say this, but it wouldn't surprise me if this was far from the last financial scare due to owning this cat. To avoid compromising its health, you might have to consider giving it up to someone that can afford all the things that it needs.
If you decide to keep the cat, I would ask your landlord about a possible payment plan (honestly, I think their 400 dollar pet deposit is ridiculous) before telling them you have the cat. If they won't allow you to make smaller payments, I'm sorry but you might have to give up the cat.
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A very dear friend of mine, Ryan, was told this morning, by his ex girlfriend, Jenna, that she has HPV. Jenna has had very few partners before my friend. Her friend, Tori, was also a previous partner of Ryan's. Tori apparently knew that she had HPV shortly after she slept with Ryan which was about a year ago. Ryan never knew he had HPV until this morning when Jenna called him hysterical crying after the results of her STD exam came back positive for HPV. There is no doubt in Jenna nor Ryan's minds that Ryan was who gave Jenna and Tori HPV.
Here's the questions:
1. Because Ryan unknowingly gave these two women HPV, is he at risk for any legal repercussions?
2. If there are legal repercussions, is Tori responsible for not having notified Ryan, when she knew that he was a strong candidate for having given her the virus?
3. Does Ryan have a legal obligation to notify his past partners? If so, how far back into his sex life is he required to go back? He has slept with 16 women, the first two of which were 100% not HPV positive. A year ago, he slept with a woman who has since been tested and is negative for HPV.
4. His doctor said that the only test he can do to test Ryan for HPV is a visual wart exam. Is this true? Is there nothing else he can do?
5. How long should Ryan refrain from sexual encounters? How long can it remain in your system?
6. If one of the girls he infected with HPV develops medical problems or cervical cancer, is Ryan legally entirely to blame for that? There were times that he engaged in consensual non-protected sex.
Thank you very much for your time.
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1,2,3, and 6: There are no legal repercussions for giving someone HPV. He has no legal obligation, but I would say telling his past sex partners that he thinks are at risk for having it because of him would be the right thing to do.
4. Currently, there is no test that can accurately tell you if you have HPV if you are a man. A visual wart exam only tests for genital warts, which is only one of the many strands of HPV and doesn't even necessarily show that symptom because it can lie in an incubation period for years.
5. It's impossible to say. He may always have it, but several strands are harmless and are taken care of eventually by your body. Some stay with you forever.
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