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Am I Being Used??
18/F
There is a boy I went to school with that I have had a crush on for awhile now so we finally started texting about 4 months ago, and we Finally hungout one day. We went to this beach and smoked and had a really good time, it seemed like we had lots of chemistry. We kissed at the end of the night. The problem is that he is always busy. He goes to college and has a job and puts his friends before everything so he never has time to hangout or even talk. I text him first probably 90% of the time. So we hungout again about a month ago and we ended up having sex. That was a month ago and we haven't talked since. I haven't texted him and he hasn't texted me.
So basically i'm thinking he used me? He just wanted to have sex? When we hungout it really seemed like we had a connection and he liked me but am I wrong, should I just give up?
I really liked him though.
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He used you. It's just a plain natural fact. For him, you're just a creature of convenience. So the only way to shut that down is to not see him again and look at this as a learning experience.
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To me it is clear that he did use you. I would text him again just saying hey. If he doesn't reply than he did use you. Guys are pigs and will do anything they need to do just to have sex. They will even act like you guys had something just to get what they really want. I know that you still like him but you need to let him go. There are plenty of other guys out there that won't use you. You deserve a nice guy!
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I wouldn't necessarily say he used you, because to be fair it seems you both wanted to have sex. On the other hand i do think that it is upseting on his behalf that he hasn't made an effort to communicate with you. I think it's best for you to try not to text him because its been a month and he hasn't made an effort to reach out to you, so it just may be that he viewed the situation for what it was at the moment, but not planning for anything from that. Let him reach out to you, if he's genuinely interested he will. If he doesn't, don't beat yourself up about it. I know you really like him, but please remember you are wonderful and you put yourself out there expressing yourself towards him, you deserve the same effort back, so don't settle.
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He doesn't seem that interested, but I don't know if I would say he did anything wrong. Who initiated the sex? Did he push for it? If not, this doesn't appear to be particularly malicious as it doesn't sound like he set out to just have sex and not talk to you anymore. Things might just be as they are, not ulterior.
But if he did push for having sex with implications that a relationship would come of it, then yes, you were being used.
Either way, he doesn't seem that interested. I would move on.
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I believe your feelings are correct. If he had any feelings for you than a convenient sex object when he needed you he would make the effort to contact you. It does not take but a minute to send a few lines of text saying he is busy but he misses you.
My suggestion is you find someone else. You deserve better. If he does contact you again; tell him to go find a knothole some place for that is all he really needs or his fist.
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I think this is a matter where you need to talk to him about. Chances are, if he didn't talk back to you afte you had sex, he has his own agenda when it comes to you two. You should be honest with him and let him give you his final say on if he plans to make an effort to be more active in your life or not.
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