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to get back for long distance relationshi ; shall i fly over or just leave?
(Its a bit long but please bare with me) My case is a long distance relationship so i just wanted to see what you can make out from this and give me your opinion & advice on how to make us get together again:
We were in a long distance relationship for 15months, me (22) and him (35). I am a student, I am Indonesia but currently live in Malaysia doing my degree, my ex BF is English, working&living In England. we had a big arguments a week ago and he stopped calling me, I called him why and he texted me with : the arguments got him to think that our relationship isnt a proper one.He doesnt think that he wants a relationship where He only see someone 3-4times a year.Because he said that he's missing out on a normal life during the rest of the year,and he cant do normal things in weekends and cant go on his own holiday(bcoz he thinks that all his days off should spend for me, no other options).And he said that we have fun but dont really have anything in common. We're 13hrs away by flight and he went down to see me 3 times (once he stayed with family) and I flew over there for 3 weeks on my holiday (aug-sept2012)to stay with him and his parents.I really think we are something and distance shouldnt be a problem. I dont want to lose him because I love him so much. I think he's the one. He's great! But he said that he's not happy. It makes me sad but i feel like i do not want to give up. I am having hard times, ive been crying for over a week. and it really bothering my study.I dont like it because exams is coming soon after mid sem break. So, I have an idea,I still have the visa and some savings where I can put all the money (and maybe borrow from some friends) to get a flight tickets to see him in england for my next mid sem break (in 2 weeks time).I really want to see,hug him and have good time with him. I miss him so bad! and hopefully he will change his mind to be with me again after he see me fly over to england for a week just to see him. I want to tell him that we strong enough to make it works! its only 1,5years to go before I complete my study. Then Ill do anything that I could do to get any jobs where I can be close to him (because he is not willing to move to Asia) . He just need to be atience enought.But eventhough if he still not change his mind (still want to break up) then I think Ill be pleased to leave him in a good way (not texting). Im sure Ill feel better after and I can do well for study and exams.I love him so much! and I could tell you that he still loves me.
Do u think its necessary to do my idea? Or shall I just accept the reality to lose him and try another way to be not sad (But I cant figure out how)? I really need advice. I have a week before if I have to book my flight! Pls help me :(
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If you were to fly to see him and surprise him I'm not quite sure on how he would react. I don't know if he would like you surprising him like that since you guys are not on good terms. If you think that this will solve everything than do it but I personally don't think it is a good idea. I think you just need to accept the fact that you guys are probably over. I know it is really hard to take but it will get better. He obviously wasn't worth your time. Maybe you can try calling him or something but flying to see him is a bit drastic.
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The person you should ask this is him. No one else can know what he's thinking or how he'll react. Hell, he might not even know. Talk it over with him.
But if you're planning on surprising him with this trip, don't.
In my opinion, he really sounds like he wants out of the relationship. The distance isn't the only excuse he gave, there's more to it than that. You have to consider what's best for him as well. I would move on.
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