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I love him so much,and still wanna have sex withother men
I need you guys to help me.I have a boyfriend who I love very much;he's my baby and the reason I'm happy everyday. Then,why do I feel attracted to other men as well?Since me and my boyfriend have very good sex.Last week,I was at my best friend's house and when he approached me to hug me,I felt sexually aroused when he pressed his body against mine:( This isn't correct.I know it,but I just don't know how to make it stop.Help?Thanks!!
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It's natural. Don't worry about it. All you have to do is just take the arousal you felt due to the other guy and let your boyfriend benefit by it. I'm sure he experiences the same thing. It's just a facet of life and, like anything else, you gotta manage it wisely.
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Is the only reason your with your boyfriend now is because you guys have good sex together? I really hope not, I hope that you are with him because you have genuine feelings for him. It is common for girls to get sexually aroused by other men, but it shouldn't happen all the time. This only happened to you once which isn't a big deal, but if it happends continously than I would break up with your boyfriend and be single.
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Hi there. Its not so much a question of 'correct' as 'inevitable'. If you press your body against a male and he doesn't actually disgust you in some way the pangs of sexual arousal easily kick-in without discretion. (Unless its a blood-relative, where some evolutionary interlock seems to come into play and prevent it normally. Assume it kept us from undesirable 'in-breeding' in the past??) Remember the old saying. "You can get your appetite up when your out...as long as you come home to eat." Then your relationship will be fine.
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This sounds crazy, but my girlfriend and I both went through the same thing and are now in a committed, open relationship. It's certainly not the common solution and is likely frowned upon, but it works for us.
As for your case, I think you need to make a list of priorities and figure out what's most important. Is your boyfriend worth this guilt? It sounds like he is. If not, leave him. If he is, are boundaries well defined? What would make him jealous? What's over the line? If these are well established, then concentrate on not crossing these lines. It'll help with the guilt. Unfortunately, physical attraction isn't a choice. It's something we just have to deal with. Sometimes we can work around it, perhaps by spending less time with the men you are attracted to, but it's still going to be there until attractions naturally change, if they do.
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Just because you love your boyfriend, doesnt mean that being in a relationship right now with him is the best thing for you. If you're thinking about having sex with other guys, especially a friend of yours that you have physical contact with, than you need to re-evalutae what you want right now. I know that you WANT to want your boyfriend, but you cant force your feelings towards other guys to just go away. You might need to just go on a break for now, and test out the waters with other people, get it out of your system, really get to know yourself and explore other options or other feelings you are having. because lets put it this way, if your boyfriend was in your position and he had these feelings towards one of his female friends or any girl in general, you wouldnt be happy.. but you also wouldnt know, and i think thats the part that would hurt you the most. You need to be honest with him, because im sure thats how you expect him to be with you, right ? and if you love him, youll love him enough to do this for him.. maybe even love him enough to let him go. Putting yourself in his shoes, its probably in his best interest if you just break it off for now.. not saying that it has to be concrete, but wandering eyes and feelings are never a good thing in a relationship, especially keeping it a secret because sooner or later it will surface, and then everything will be a big mess. You definitely dont want that.
Maybe you could even talk to him about it, or talk about your feelings. maybe hes not pleasuring you in a physical way anymore.. so you could try different things in that respect (and talk to him about this)
there is no quick fix to this, you really have to sit down, take a deep breath, and think about why youre thinking these things about other guys. youre not a horrible person, and youre not TRYING to hurt him, because I can tell its hurting you that youre even thinking these thoughts. just dont act upon them unless youre single. you could wait a couple weeks to see if these feelings just go away and it was a temporary phase, but if not, I would definitely talk to your boyfriend about how youre feeling or just ask for a break. theres not much else you can do sweetie, i know its rough, but youve got to do whats right for not only you, but your boyfriend too.
good luck ! xxo.
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