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Confronting my boyfriend after he said he had a vasectomy... but I think I might be pregnant!

Question Posted Monday October 1 2012, 3:35 pm

To start off My boyfriend and I have been together for a little less then a year, he has a little girl who is three that I adore and spend a lot of time with. He's 22, he told me before we got together has was snipped so if I was expecting to have kids with someone someday he was not the guy. I was fine with this, seeing as I don't want kids, and if I do, not anytime soon, I'm fine with having just his little girl around if things do work out with us. When I spoke with my parents about him a while back my mom asked if we were being safe, seeing as I moved in just a few months after we started dating. I informed her she had nothing to worry about.
Well, now I am not so sure, I've missed two periods, it's normal for me to miss one every now and then, but never two in a row.
I trust my boyfriend wouldn't lie to me about getting a vasectomy, but in the off chance he did, I have no idea how to feel or what to do.
I'm taking a test later today(I informed him of this) He's fine with me taking it and says better safe than sorry.
If I am pregnant though, I'm not sure what to do, I have a minimum wage job and he can barely afford child support for his daughter as it is. I don't know to yell and be mad that he lied, or be hurt that he told me he loved me and knowingly lied to me every time we had sex.
On the other hand I'll feel like a complete bitch if I call him a liar and than I am shown physical proof he had a vasectomy.
How do I confront him if I am pregnant?
I don't know what to do.

[ Answer this question ]
Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Pregnancy?

adviceman49 answered Tuesday October 2 2012, 10:50 am:
First; vasectomies have been known to reverse themselves. Especially if the doctor does the type of vasectomy that might allow for a reversal, which a doctor might chose to do or offer to a younger man.

Second; if you want to check to see if your boyfriend did in deed have a vasectomy you are going to have to look at his scrotum for two small incisions. They will be high up on the scrotum at the base of the penis I believe probably in a skin crease to try and hide the scar.

This; there are other reasons for missing your
period. If the home test is negative you need to see a doctor to find out why you have missed your periods. There is something else going on that needs to found. Even if the home test is positive it could be a false positive and you need confirmation by a medical test.

If you are pregnant you do have options. It is your body, your choice.
If you are pregnant you do have choices

[ adviceman49's advice column | Ask adviceman49 A Question

Melwillhelpyou answered Monday October 1 2012, 6:03 pm:
Get him at a good time and then tell him, but say "you know that I don't keep anything from you, but I have been worried about how you would react when I say this..." And then tell him. What's the worst that could happen? You love each other and have moved in together and have even openly talked about your future to one another. I'm guessing you're pretty close. If you suspect him to be lying, don't mention that part. He might just get mad. Make sure you wait until he wants to tell you whether he was lying or not, even though you have seen physical proof...

Anyways, never be shy to tell someone close to you something like this. Just go ahead and say it. There's nothing to be afraid of, really.

Let me know what happens! I hope I helped, I think :)

[ Melwillhelpyou's advice column | Ask Melwillhelpyou A Question

storageanddisposal answered Monday October 1 2012, 5:40 pm:
First off, vasectomies aren't 100%. It's exceptionally unlikely, but people do get others pregnant after having a vasectomy.

Missing two periods is a cause for concern and a pregnancy test is a good idea, but I would say it's not uncommon for women to suddenly miss two periods. In fact, in the last 3 months, two people I know missed two periods.

If you are pregnant and don't want a child, there's adoption and abortion. You don't have to keep the child.

Unfortunately, I know of no way to tell whether or not someone is lying about a vasectomy short of looking for the small marks from incisions. I would give him the benefit of the doubt.

[ storageanddisposal's advice column | Ask storageanddisposal A Question

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