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easily angered wife beating husband over and over again but now i am sorry because he won't take me back anymore
hi,
i wanted to get some advice about staying with my on and off again husband. we ve been married for 7 yrs and seperated for 1yr off and on. we have a history of abuse only because i use to pick arguments and fist fights with him to have my way. we now have 3 kids together. he has a son thats 2 months younger than our 1st born and he and her are 8 yrs old. although we werent not married when our first child was conceived but just the confirmation of the dna test for the son he has devasted me so bad i beat him so bad. he continues to take me back even though i ugly and mean to him. he continues to forgive me over and over again, but not this time even though the physical abuse stopped i still continue to pick on him but now he doesnt want me at all or at least for now. i desperately want to seek counseling both marital and self but im not sure how to convince him that i love him more than he knows and im truly sorry for negectly and abusing him.
please help,
apologectic wife
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I have to agree with the first two writers. I believe your husband has given you more than enough chances. There comes a point where you just say enough is enough.
In emergency service we see it all the time. The abuser tells the abused they are sorry, please come home it won't happen again. But it does and sometime it is the last time as the abused dies.
Everyone that has to deal with these situations tell the victim they have to save themselves, to get out and to break the cycle. We tell the abuser to get help. You need to get help in the form of counseling for yourself first.
Then if and when you counselor suggests you are ready then maybe Marriage counseling. Though after 7 years of abuse and on again off again marriage, your marriage may be over regardless.
What you need to do is learn through counseling what triggers your abusive behavior and learn to control it. Once you learn this then hopefully you can have a normal marriage, maybe not with this husband but possibly a future husband.
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There's a myth that physical abuse from a woman to a man isn't as big of a deal as physical abuse from a man to a woman. It's always a big deal. He's given you more chances than you should have gotten. Even if the abuse has stopped, you really can't expect and don't deserve to get more chances. You should seek counseling anyway to avoid such a relationship happening in the future with someone else, but at this point all you can do is plead your case and explain your plans of change as thoroughly as possible.
In the end, you can't control him. You can't somehow make him stay. He's a person in control of his own decisions. It's up to him.
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Well my sister use to beat her husband and he secretly moved out when she went on vacation.You need to get help and be alone no one deserves to be abused,This is not love your talking about it's abuse and control.He did the right thing by leaving,you could end up killing him!
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