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Used to be great friends
So, I used to be really good friends with a girl. So good of friends that even after all of our highs and lows and now our dormant relationship I still consider her to be my greatest and most best friend ever.
One day she admits to me that I might be thinking of our relationship more than it actually is. She said that she considered me a "so-so" friend. I was torn to pieces and I didn't talk to her for a while. I still sometimes feel tinges of mistrust in obvious truths. It's like it's a part of my subconscious now. I eventually apologized to her for being so rash and that I should have never acted like that. She then apologized for ever saying anything in the first place because she then realized how much of a friend I was to her. But by then, too much damage had been done. We tried to return to the way we were before but it was never going to be the same.
Occasionally we'd talk for a bit. Mostly about how much we miss each other and apologizing and saying how much we mean to each other and promising to try to make it how it was. But now it's not even that. We always broke those promises almost immediately.
My question is, why do neither of us put in the effort? It'd be worth it. I just don't understand why we'd let our friendship waste away like this.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
It's a chemistry that you lack and unfortunately it's something you can't force. It's awkward, but you can't make an awkward situation less so by dwelling on it. It's likely that it's awkward because there's so much thought put into it. It sounds like it's gotten to the point where expectations are too high and you are both sabotaging your friendship with fear of it ending.
My advice would be to just close your eyes to all the thoughts of it not being the way it was and try to just throw yourself into talking/hanging out with her. Don't put much thought into it or talk about how it's not the same. And if the chemistry is there, it's there. If it's not, but it's still nice to spend time together, keep at it. If nothing is there at all, then that's unfortunate, but some people just plain grow apart. People change.
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