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Member Since: February 25, 2005
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Last Update: July 24, 2011
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i wasnt sure what category this should go in...

so i have fair skin and of course it would always burn if i ever spent a long time in the sun without sunscreen. well i went to greece a few weeks ago and got the worst sunburn in my life except only on my nose and hands. i used sunscreen but it did not help.
eventually it healed but then i went back out in the sun, wearing suncreen and now i always seem to get burned. i want to go to this beach party that is being held but my nose is already extremely burned and i dont want to make it worse. sunscreen is NOT helping at all. what should i do? i was told to wear a hat but all hats seen really dorky and i want to look cute.

I have really fair skin as well. When I was a teenager I tried to tan one summer (I used sunscreen) and was sun-burnt so bad that my doctor said I had 'sun-poisoning.'

Part of the problem could be that the SPF of the sunscreen that you are using isn't high enough. Try a sunscreen with a SPF of 45 or higher, prefferrably waterproof otherwise you will have to re-apply. Once I started using a higher SPF... I haven't had a sunburn since.

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Recently i just keep getting so stressed and aggrivated so easily. I know i can be that sort of person though that gets frustrated easily, like when im reading i cant stand when people talk, it makes me lose focus and annoys me, but this is worse.

My little brother is going through puberty so he's all hormonal and he just shouts things and is a brat alllll the time which is causing me alot of stress. My mums also believes she's going to go through menopause soon so she's been the same and they just both annoy me so much.

It doesnt help i cant escape them and they wont leave me alone.

But ontop of that, i have to do 13 artworks, yes 13, for school, and read a book, plus perform 3 songs for music (i have stage fright) and maths homework (speaks for itself).

I'm begginging to get used to the work and slowly go through things like my artworks, planning and orginising time for each thing, but theres always that uncontrollable stress.

From people who meditate, will it make me feel better? I just need someway to release my stress and because my mums being how she is right now she won't even let me do things like go out for a walk or run or even join a sport.

Done properly... Yes; meditation can relieve stress. Find a comfortable position (either sit or lay down) and either try to clear your mind or focus on a positive idea. I actually meditate right before I go to sleep at night.

But may I suggest finding a polite way to ask for privacy while you're doing your homework? While I understand that your brother and mother are suffering from a hormonal imbalance... They should still understand and honor this request for quiet while you are trying to study.

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I feel guilty about everything. Like, for example, if I don't do something such as ride a rollercoaster (I hate rollercoasters) or eat my vegetables before I eat my meat (yeah, something silly like that). I feel like I'm supposed to do everything 'normal'. Like the normal way to do stuff. Everything has to be traditional or else I feel sorta like it will fall apart or something. I don't even really know. It's hard to explain I guess.
I like things done in a traditional way or the normal way. Like if my parents ask me to go to the beach, even though I really don't like the beach, I'll say yes but not because I want to or I'm being nice. Going to the beach with your family is something you're supposed to do because it's a summer tradition. If I were not to go with them, I'd feel insanely guilty. Does this make any sense?
Another example: My high school life isn't exactly going as I would like it too. My dad always talks about how he had so many friends and how he'd go to all the parties and junk like that. Well, my friends sorta all abandoned me this year and I've never gone to a single party. And I feel really guilty about that. I feel like I'm missing out on a normal thing and that I'll look back at this in twenty years and be filled with regret and guilt.

So it's semi-big things like that as well as stupid things like feeling guilty if I don't eat my vegetables before my meat.

I don't know why I feel this way all the time. Any advice or anything?

Again... I agree with the previous post. You could have an obbsessive compulsive disorder... Or you could have an anxiety disorder. I used to have an anxiety disorder and I did something that sounds similiar. Please tell your parents and seek professional help.

I would also like to add... 'Normal' is an ideal... In reality this ideal is more subjective than anything else. All people are different. We all think, feel, act and react differently. Just because you perform an action differently than some of the people around you... Doesn't make you or what you're doing abnormal or wrong. You're doing just fine and you're going to be just fine.

So you haven't been to a party. Big deal. I didn't attend parties during school either. I graduated into adulthood just like everyone else... I have a job, an apartment, bills, family, friends, a relationshi... Just like everyone else. Don't sweat the small stuff ;)

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Okay, so recently I enlisted into the military. That day I found a really great guy who I really like alot, even though I've just had the chance to really talk to him once.

I can see myself falling fast and hard for him. Here's the problem though, we only agreed to be friends with benefits, and I'm not going to push anything on him because he leaves for basic in October. But, how do I control myself and my feelings when I'm with him.

I'm 17, but he's the first thing that I've had that was even close to a boyfriend. Don't question my morals for having a friend with benefits. My thing is that I want to have fun this summer, and he's the guy that's supposed to show me a good time.

Understand that I am not questioning your morals... I've had a friend with a benefit plan once before too. But I would like to ask a few questions...

If you can see yourself falling hard for this guy and you know that the situation isn't exactly ideal for a healthy, long-term relationship... How is sleeping with him going to help you?

I ask because I've been there... And when you are intimate with a person, it's difficult to keep them at arm's length emotionally. The real question to ask yourself is: can you do that?

If you can, super. Have fun. If not, run while you still can...

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Okay, this is really long but I'm in desperate need of help so please take 5 min to help me.

I'm 16/f and I screwed up big time and it took me too long to realize what I've done. Long story short, I've really hurt my family by lying to them, deceiving them, and hiding things from them since 8th grade (and right now is the summer after 10th grade). I realized that I need to get myself together and stop doing whatever I want to do without thinking that there won't be any consequences. I told my mom I was sorry over a million times. I wrote her a front and back 3 page note telling her the things I realized & the way things are going to be and that I'll change not just for the family but for myself as well. But I've done that in the past without really meaning it and my mom completely ignored the note and is still really mad at me. And to make things worse, she and my dad are fighting because of me, well not the root cause but the triggering factor is me.

I don't know what else I can do to make up to her. A sorry and doing household chores isn't working. I am going to cut off all connections from people who haven't been the best influences in my life and people that I snuck out with resulting in me hurting my parents.

Also, my mom strongly believes (which means that no matter what, I won't be able to convince her otherwise) that I am taking ballet and became a vegetarian because of a girl (who she despises) made me do so. As silly as that sounds, this whole big fight is mainly over that one girl. But the problem is that I've wanted to take ballet for 5 years now and the only reason I didn't was because of money problems. And I wanted to be a vegetarian since 8th grade because of the animal cruelty and the fact that I don't and never really liked meat in the first place. And this is all before I met that girl. But I can't convince my mom of that so I was planning to tell her that if it hurts her so much and causes her so much troubles, I'll give up ballet and take ballroom dance with a guy that my mom adores and wishes I'd go out with or take jazz classes instead (I need some kind of dancing for school) & I was going to give up my vegetarianism (as much as the thought of me eating meat makes me nauseous) which means that I'll eat whatever she cooks even if it has meat or animal broth in it but does not mean that I'll be eating meat/chicken/fish chunks out of the dishes (which I'm afraid to add on because she might think that I really don't mean giving up my vegetarianism).

This is how serious I am about wanting to fix all the problems I made. I really am passionate about ballet and vegetarianism. I know that I can't fix it in one day or anything but what else can I do?

I really am sorry, perhaps more sorry than anyone can ever be. I want to change and become a better person and stop causing my family so much problems but it's getting harder and harder. I miss my mom's voice and her laugh and her hugs and I just want things to go back to better times. I don't know what to do.

I agree with the last post.

I would like to state that... Because so little information is included in questions (even long ones like yours) it's difficult to come up with specific answers. Since I only know little about the situation, I can only tell you this...

Talk, talk, talk to your mother. I can not stress how important communication is in all relationships. Apologize again, tell her that you understand why she is angry... But also tell her that her behavior is hurting you. In short, the silent treatment never helped anyone work through a problem. Ask her what you can do to help her get over this... And ask for help in making whatever changes necessary a reality.

And I don't think that you should give up ballet or vegetarianism. Articulate why these two things are an important part of your life and maybe she will begin to understand. But don't sacrifice a part of yourself just to appease her. Or anyone else for that matter.

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im 17 years old and my bf is 18 we'v been 2gether for 9 months the first few weeks were exciting and i thought it was sweet that he made time to see me quite alot and before i knew it he told me he loved me. dont get my wrong i love him alot but recently things have become boring and its the usual everyday, he expects to see me every single day but we dont go out anywhere, theres no suprises or exciting trips, he doesnt even kiss me passionatly anymore. i try and make things exciting by sending texts and pictures but i dont get the replys i used to get. i think maybe he is so comfortable with me that its not exciting anymore and i have no idea what to say about him wanting to see me everyday all day and all night.

Sounds like you and your boyfriend have established a routine. That's normal. My advice: discuss the situation with him. Point out that you've established a routine and that you feel the two of you need work at bringing excitment back into the relationship. This could be a 'date night' where the two of you go somewhere that you've never been before. Also point out that you really miss the little things that he used to do to make you feel special. I know you've been giving hints, but sometimes you just have to be direct.

And if you feel that you need a little space and time to spend with your friends... Make this need known. It's okay for you to need time by yourself or away from him. Maybe the both of you should designate two days a week when you don't see each other. One day could be an opportunity for each of you to catch up on private time... While another day could be 'guys night out' for him and 'girls night out' for you and your friends.

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I have recently been hired at a grocery deli, at first i fit in pretty good because of my extensive experience. Throughout the last 6 weeks I have been noticing disturbing food handling habbits of my coworkers. Neglecting to wash their hands after taking money,not cooking foods to propper doneness, not keeping hot foods hot and cold foods cold. In fact whole refrigerator units were down and still shelved with perishables, some of which had been outdated for MONTHS!!!!!
i mentioned the things i noticed to my deli manager dicreatly and respectfully, reminding her of the dangers of food bourne illness. She blew me off repeatedly telling me our units were on defrost, that all stores have missed dates.
i wasnt sure what to do! Then one day I saw my boss herself and a coworker preparing catering trays. When thay were finished they stored these catering trays on top of juicy boxes of raw poultry items in our walk in cooler. shortly after this, I myself pulled a cart load of out dated food expired for 2 whole weeks and still on the sale floor. I made suggestions, only to be made fun of by my boss and others in the department. I was so upset about the food hanling issues in our department i expressed them to the department second who told me if I was that upset about it to talk to the store manager. I did just as she suggested. The store manager was irritated with my presence and didn't believe me. So I photgraphed what I could that day.Word got out I was keeping records of poor food handling habbits and customer complaints about expired food, and raw deli product that had left the store with our customers. The store manager took my camera and said he was going to have the photo's I took developed as a store expense. It has been two whole weeks, I have been made fun of, isolated and patronized as a result of my concern for the general publics health, and my Boss has yet to say a word about the evidence I compiled as proof of my testimony. Nothing is changing behind the scenes, In fact i just pulled another cart full of expired food from a coworkers assigned table, some of which was dated dated to be pulled in june of 2008, and this is the end of july 2008. My question here is, what can I do from here? I need this job, i cant quit and as a moral issue, I cant exacly allow it to continue.

You obviously don't 'fit in' at this store because you care about safety and quality while the rest of the staff, including the manager, does not. I'm sorry to say I don't think they are going to change anytime soon. But then again... I'm sure you all ready know that.

I know it's hard... But for the time being ignore your associates. It doesn't matter what they think of you, you're doing your job. I know you're work environment is less than pleasant... And I know how stressful and hurtful that can be. But if you need the job, keep a stiff upper lip.

Continue to document and photograph the bad practices you are observing. If the store manager won't do anything about it, go to the district manager. You also might want to call the human resources department. State the problem and ask if you could be transferred to another store. Because... Just because this store doesn't care about their customers, doesn't mean their isn't another one that does.

And in case that doesn't pan out... Start looking for another job.

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why do people get offended if someone says something like, "oh my god!" or "jesus christ!" ? this question has always bugged me. i know it has something to do with "not using the lords name in vain" or something? but i dont get that either? cheeers:)

One of the ten commandments is: 'thou shalt not take the lord's name in vain.' In a more modern tongue: you shall not make wrongful use of the name of the Lord your God, for the Lord will not acquit anyone who misuses his name.

Which means... It would be wrong to invoke the name of god when you are not speaking to him or to use his name in a curse.

You must remember that in many Hebrew faiths, the name of God alone was holy. Some hebrews will not even write the name of God, Yaweh, instead writing Y-w-h. In ancient hebrew folklore, Adam's first wife, Lilith, gained great power by speaking the name of God which is never to be spoken. In the Hebrew faiths, you can't just throw the name of god around. This has been passed down to Christianity as well, though Christians do not keep the name alone in such high regard as their Hebrew predecessors.

And while I, personally, do not feel that saying name of God is a sin... You should probably abstain from using such language amoung particular company. While you may disagree with their beliefs... Show them the appropriate respect.

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I don't know if you would know the answer to this question, but I was wondering if in Japan there were still towns that use the old ways, like in the last samurai. I wish to visit one of these towns very much but can't find any info on one. When i go to college id find it especially exciting if i could do my study abroad program in one. I was just wondering if you had any idea. Thanks even if you don't know!!

I'm not really sure.

There might be a place like you described... But, personally, I doubt it. Japan is just as developed as the USA, if not more. Most areas that appeared untouched by time might be equivalent to our slums or ghost towns. (Unless they are specifically designed as tourist attractions, like Winston-Salem.) So... If you do find a town like that, make sure it's safe to go there.

Still... Studying abroad in Japan sounds like a great idea. And you can still sample their older traditions even in the heart of the city. Japan still has bath houses, temples, tea ceremonies, Noh performances and much more. While Japan has become very modern, as a culture they value their heritage and tradition.

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i'm getting a new laptop, but i don't know what kind to get. i want it to be under $1,000 and i don't want a macbook because my old one was really bad haha. but anyways, if you know any good laptops/where i can get one cheap, let me know! (:

Acer has started making some pretty good little computers. Both my boyfriend and I have Acer laptops and... No problems yet. Mine was about $700, his was $500. Both Wal-Mart and Circuit City sell them.

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Ok well im going into eighth grade and i have never had a boyfriend. everyone is always like aww you should try to get one. and i tottaly have. but i dont hang out with guys to much. so wat do i do?

Forgive me if I sound harsh...

But I'd like to point out that most of the 'relationships' young men and women have during the eighth grade are pretty superficial in general. (Not ALL but MOST.) You're not missing much... Don't sweat it. If any of your fellow students harrass you about your lack of a relationship... Ignore them.

Right now... You have more important things to think about than boys. School performance. College. Your development as an independent individual. The grand, awe-inspiring journey into self-awareness. You will have plenty of time to pursue boys/men later. Appreciate the phase of life you are currently experiencing instead of wishing you were in another phase all-together.

I'm not trying to insult your intelligence or your maturity. I'm simply trying to pass along some hard earned wisdom that I wish someone has bestowed upon me when I was in the eighth grade.

But... If you'd like to meet new people... Including boys... There is nothing wrong with that. Try getting involved in extracurricular activities. What are your hobbies? What are you interested in? Would you like to volunteer? Widening your circle of friends is never a bad idea, no matter how old you get.

And if you really want to attract a boy... Relax. Be yourself. I know you've probably heard it before and that it sounds corny and cliche... But it works. I can personally attest to that.

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OK, so recently a guy friend and I began dating. What started out as a summer fling (since I'm moving 2.5 hrs away in Aug) somehow just turned into a relationship. At first I was very happy and I liked Matt a lot. But recently I have noticed a few aspects about his personality that really turn me off. He tries to be a bad boy, which he is not at all, and he is very naive and easily influenced. He tries so hard. In short, he's too immature for me. I think he would be fabulous as a friend, he's really funny and crazy, but I don't want to stay with him forever or anything like that. Also, there's really no passion b/w us. Which is a must-have for me. Plus, I'm going off to college and I need to be single. I fear that he is taking this relationship (which shouldn't have been) way more seriously than I. I want to break up but I really do want to remain friends! What do I do? He's joining the navy (he made the decision in less than one week b/c he just recently met someone who had that much power to influence him!!!) and will be a zillion miles away, anyway. Should I just wait 'til I have to leave? Because then it will be easier. I don't know. We were pretty good friends before all of this happened but obiouvsly I didn't know how he really was. Help, please!

All I can suggest:

Tell him how you really feel... Be honest... But gentle. Explain to him that you don't want a serious relationship right now... (Not because he isn't a great guy and all.) But because you're young and feel like you need to keep your options open... Especially in this transitional phase of your life. You need time to discover yourself and explore the world... Meet people... Figure out what you really want in life. Plus... A long-distance relationship at this point would be very difficult for the both of you... And you'd both probably be a lot happier single. Focus on how you feel, not on his flaws. It'll still be hard for him to swallow... But at least you're trying to make it a little easier.

You can ask to remain friends... Just be prepared if that doesn't happen. He may need some space for a while... Or you may find that a friendship is impossible if he refuses to move on while you're still around. I believe in the 'clean break' approach... But hey, that's just me.

As for the when? You could wait, that would probably be easier... But is it really fair to you, or him, for the two of you to be together when you know it isn't going anywhere? Just a thought...

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Okay I'm going crazy... I've tried Proactiv and Clearisil, Clean & definitely not clear. What can I do about getting rid of this acne? I always breakout for no reason. I wash my face day and night...I also moisturize. I'm out of ideas. Any suggestions?

Signed,
Ms. Breakout Queen

I couldn't find an over-the-counter acne treatment that worked for me either... And Pro-Active? Good lord... What a nightmare.

I agree with the last post. A dermatologist would be your best bet. If you have insurance, it won't cost you much... And if not, you might still be saving on all the OTC products you would normally buy. When you're at the dermatologist, ask for generic brands... They are the same as name brand prescriptions and cost a lot less. (And you're dermatologist will be happy to oblige you.) And every dermatologist that I have ever visited always recommended cleaners that could be purchased at the grocery store for cheap.

Oh... And if you wear make-up... Make sure that what you are wearing is non-comedogenic. (Means that it won't clog your pours.) I recommend Nuetrogena. (You can find it at Wal-Mart.)

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do women care how big men's cock's are?

Some might. But I personally feel that, 'It's not the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean.'

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so i have never had sex or anything but every now and then i have this leak thing. its like this clear goo stuff and i kinda has an odor and some times it itches.

is it a yeast infection?

Could be a yeast infection... Though I kind of doubt it at this point. Most likely it's just discharge... Which is fairly normal, especially if you are in your teens. If you're really worried about it, tell your mom. I don't think that you have anything to worry about, but that's just my opinion based on what you wrote.

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2 monthes ago I met a guy at a church activity. We hung out, talked and flirted, and I really started to like him. However the next time I saw him, he was holding another girls hand (his gf). I was really upset, but I still really liked this boy (we can call him Mark). He ended up dumping his gf a day after they started dating. I don't know why.... Anyways, I saw him again about a week ago. He came up real close and apologized for how he acted, we talked for a few minutes, but then he said he had to go. I have since been talking to him over the internet, and I want to know what to say to make him want to hang out, and maybe eventually date me. There is some hope that he may like me. My friends told me that he talks about me, or will bring me up, and when he looks at me, it feels like there is something more behind it i guess....

So, what should I do?
I am a Female, 16 year old

Relax. Be yourself. Flirt a little bit.

I'd like to mention that I'm horrid at flirting... But really good at relaxing and being myself. Guys seem to respond well to this behavior... And if this guy doesn't respond... Clearly he is unable to recognize how awesome you are. Say, 'His loss,' and move on if that's the case.

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OK, So i'm 15/f. And I want to shave it all off, but im scared that I'll get red dots and it be prickly even right after I shave, because I shave my bikini line.

Anyways, any advice in not getting red dots and pricklys? Thanks alot!

:]

After shaving, try applying non-comedogenic lotion to the area. Repeat over the next few days. (I recommend Aveeno... And so does my dermatologist. YAY!!)

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Is it true that you can only get pregnant when you're on your period? Considering, that your eggs release when your on your period and I've heard that you can only get pregnant when they release so does that mean that if you have sex on your period and the guy "busts" in you, that you have a better chance of getting pregnant than any other time of the month?

I don't know when the 'best time' to get pregnant is...

With that said... You _can_ get pregnant anytime. On your period, off your period, on the pill, off the pill... If you don't want to get pregnant use some sort of external protection.

That and you need to protect yourself from sexually transmitted diseases.

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So I'm not dating my boyfriend anymore but I still have feelings for him. Everything he comes over to hang out with my brother he tries to have sex with me. I want to but I'm scared.

Help??

Hate to say...

If he wants to have sex with you but doesn't want to date you... He's trying to use you. So... Don't. Because if you had sex with him and later realized that he didn't care about you... In short, that doesn't feel very good.

Sorry if I sound like a big meanie. I just think that you should be wary of this guy... No matter what you want or how you feel.

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Every since a couple of years ago i've kinda had an obsession with rape. And i feel like there is somethin majorly wrong with me. It's not like i enjoy it i mean im still repulsed and it freaks me out more than most. It's like i look for movies with rape or books about or with it. I feel stupid and my friends know that i like to read about it but i just feel messed up. when i was little something bad happend but it wasnt a huge deal to most.I had 2 best friend i was 8 and the other 2 were 10 and 11 one of the girls had a step brother who was 14. It was the first time i had met him we were by a church and my friend said " he says if u show him urs he'll show you his" i wasn't stupid i knew it was wrong so i said no. but he still showed me his and the girls began to touch it. then they both pulled down there pants and he stuck his fingers in them i was there the whole time. i went home and i just cried i told me parents and they made a report. the girls had to go to the hospital and they wanted me to also but my said no i didnt do anything. childrens survices came to my house. i know its not a huge deal but is it possible that its part of the reason why i obsess over rape. i still remember details and how i felt bad because my friend said i betrayed them because they told me not to say anything. i just i want to stop feeling like there is something wrong with me. but is there?

I don't know... But I'll venture a guess...

I'm guessing that the event you described caused a lot of mixed feelings. Fear, repulsion, shame... And later... Guilt. (Though you haven't cause to feel ashamed or guilty. You didn't do anything wrong.) Because the people surrounding you at the time didn't think that it was a big deal... These feelings, as well as any trauma, were never adequately addressed. You could be suffering mentally as a result... And the continual search for stories featuring rape could be a subconcious attempt to face your fears... Or even to find a character that would sympathize with your feelings.

My opinion aside... You should discuss your concerns with your parents, a doctor, a teacher, or a school guidance counselor. One of these people will certainly listen and be able to provide you with the help you need to address these issues.

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