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first time
So I'm not dating my boyfriend anymore but I still have feelings for him. Everything he comes over to hang out with my brother he tries to have sex with me. I want to but I'm scared.
Help??
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Honestly, He's not worth it.
Save it for the right person.
I mean yeah it's none of my business.
I'm just giving my opinion on it.
But, He's just wanting a good time.
And guys like that really aren't worth any girls time.
And in the long run, it'll tear you down just knowing he used you.
[sorry if any of this sounds harsh]
love, rachel
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I'm going to be pretty blunt but honest in everything I say.
It really sounds like the only reason your boyfriend was interested in you was to have sex. If he is the one that broke off the relationship then is almost certain. If you broke off the relationship or it was mutual then you can probably think back to times he only wanted sex from you and nothing more. It happens.
If you have sex with him now you will become an emotional wreck. This may not happen right away or it may. You may become completely obsessed with him--I know people who have done this down to stalking a person, risking their own lives in certain situations. Women naturally grow emotional attachments to sex-partners, regardless of actual relationship status. You already know you have an attachment to him, but the thing is he does NOT feel the same attachment to you or he would be wanting something non-sexual with you. You are only sex to him and nothing more.
What will happen if you do have sex with him is this. You will have sex with him and he will leave, maybe not right away but it will get to that. He will simply get his jollies and leave the situation as if nothing happened between you two. He will, most likely, lead you on to believe he does like you but will never be with you again in a non-sexual way. He will lead you on so he can keep coming back for more sex--he may SAY he loves you but isn't sure of a relationship or some other crap like that. Why is this, you may ask. It's because he has figured out how to get what he wants. Many, many, many girls fall for this.
He honestly does not want to be with you.
He honestly just wants to have sex with you.
If you give into him, you're going to feel like trash later on.
Women want to be fulfilled not only sexually but emotionally by their partners. It's human nature for a woman to want to stick with one man, and this goes back to cave-men days when men protected women and supplied them with foods when they were tending to young/being pregnant. You aren't going to change your biological state so you are always going to be attached to sexual partners.
The girls who end up falling for this are left with emotional issues for YEARS, if not their entire lifetime. They feel inadequate and worthless so they tend to fall into relationships with guys who become abusive or unfaithful. Sometimes the girls don't even realize that it stems back to being sex-buddies with someone they developed feelings for so they have to go to therapy just to learn that much about themselves.
These women are more likely to be used, abused, and left. They are more likely to allow themselves to become sex objects. Some of these women end up falling into prostitution in severe cases after feeling emotionally rejected by various sexual partners (they become to believe that they are only good at/for sex).
By having sex with him you aren't doing yourself any favors. Having sex won't make things magically all better about the break-up either so please don't fool yourself into such things. You are worth more than sex, I know you are. Please do not degrade yourself like this.
I really hope I've helped you open your eyes to what you've been considering getting yourself into. If you have any more questions regarding this subject please feel free to ask me :)
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Hate to say...
If he wants to have sex with you but doesn't want to date you... He's trying to use you. So... Don't. Because if you had sex with him and later realized that he didn't care about you... In short, that doesn't feel very good.
Sorry if I sound like a big meanie. I just think that you should be wary of this guy... No matter what you want or how you feel.
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