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relationship wasn't supposed to happen
OK, so recently a guy friend and I began dating. What started out as a summer fling (since I'm moving 2.5 hrs away in Aug) somehow just turned into a relationship. At first I was very happy and I liked Matt a lot. But recently I have noticed a few aspects about his personality that really turn me off. He tries to be a bad boy, which he is not at all, and he is very naive and easily influenced. He tries so hard. In short, he's too immature for me. I think he would be fabulous as a friend, he's really funny and crazy, but I don't want to stay with him forever or anything like that. Also, there's really no passion b/w us. Which is a must-have for me. Plus, I'm going off to college and I need to be single. I fear that he is taking this relationship (which shouldn't have been) way more seriously than I. I want to break up but I really do want to remain friends! What do I do? He's joining the navy (he made the decision in less than one week b/c he just recently met someone who had that much power to influence him!!!) and will be a zillion miles away, anyway. Should I just wait 'til I have to leave? Because then it will be easier. I don't know. We were pretty good friends before all of this happened but obiouvsly I didn't know how he really was. Help, please!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
All I can suggest:
Tell him how you really feel... Be honest... But gentle. Explain to him that you don't want a serious relationship right now... (Not because he isn't a great guy and all.) But because you're young and feel like you need to keep your options open... Especially in this transitional phase of your life. You need time to discover yourself and explore the world... Meet people... Figure out what you really want in life. Plus... A long-distance relationship at this point would be very difficult for the both of you... And you'd both probably be a lot happier single. Focus on how you feel, not on his flaws. It'll still be hard for him to swallow... But at least you're trying to make it a little easier.
You can ask to remain friends... Just be prepared if that doesn't happen. He may need some space for a while... Or you may find that a friendship is impossible if he refuses to move on while you're still around. I believe in the 'clean break' approach... But hey, that's just me.
As for the when? You could wait, that would probably be easier... But is it really fair to you, or him, for the two of you to be together when you know it isn't going anywhere? Just a thought...
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