about

Hey Everyone :) I'm Kate and a level 2 mod on here. I've had this account since July 2004, so I've been on here since I was 13! Wow ... crazy for me to think how long ago that was. I will admit I don't check in as often as I once did, but being away at college, being in a sorority, and having a job when I'm not at school is very time consuming. I still try to help out as much as possible, and if you send me a question I WILL answer it. This site helped me a LOT when I was in high school and had a lot of questions, and I'm here to help anyone who needs it :) Feel free to write in my forum or send me a question any time!

advice

tomorrow is the last competition and i have missed two of them already my coach was so mad. Im not particepating but im still in the team so as she says i have to go. I have no ride or anything my mom says i cant go if i dont everyone will hate me what should i do?

See if a friend on the squad can take you. Or see if the coach can give you a lift (depending on how close you are with her) Like the jv cheerleading coach at our school is pretty close to the cheerleaders, so she'd probably give them a ride if they needed one. (or at least her and my friend who's a cheerleader are pretty close)

Just try explaining the situation to her, if she doesn't understand, then have her talk to your mom. Sorry I'm not much help. Hope all works out for ya.

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What do you do when the only person in your family that understands you is gone?

If you mean that they passed away, then you'll have to find someone else you can talk to. I mean a friend, teacher, councilor, sibling, aunt, uncle, parent, grandparent...

If you just mean moved away, then you can visit, talk on the phone, e-mail, instant message...

I'm sorry about a loss if they passed away, but if they just moved away, then you have many other options.

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Hey,

I used to have 5 stars that people rated me then someone rated me a 3 now i have no stars at all...Does anyone know what happend? Thanks

Have you read the FAQ? It's in there. But to answer your question, the whole 30-day thing has probably gone into effect. They don't count your ratings after 30 days, maybe it's been a whole month since you've been rated? Just READ THE FAQ!!! to find your problem.

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After begging my mom to take me to the doctors, she's finally going to (because I currently have a soar throat). I've been asking her to take me to get tested for anemia and ADD. Everytime I asked her she would say "I highly doubt you have ADD" and she would just snicker. So I have a soar throat now and I think she's making me drive to the doctors on my own (usually she goes with me). So for sure I'm going to ask about anemia and ADD. The only thing is, how am I supposed to bring it up.? I don't want to just say 'oh yea, I think I have ADD'. How should I bring it up without looking stupid? Should I tell her my situation first (about how I can't stay focused, etc) or should I ask what the symptoms are, or what? And what will they do to me (sometimes I think I have ADHD also) as far as tests and stuff, and will they do it then, or is it a process where I have to come back? And how will my teachers get notified? Will I tell them? Doctors note? etc... and since they'll know, what exactly will my teachers make me do because of it?
Please help...

Well when me and my sister went to get our physicals, she just told our doctor that she thought she might have ADHD, and sort of described what has been happening to her... and she asked the doctor how exactly do you know. Our doctor said that usually a teacher will notice it, and tell your parents, then your parents take you in for testing. But when you go, just tell your doctor. Be like, I think I've been showing some symptoms of ADD (or ADHD) and I want to know how exactly you can be tested.

Did you know that a certain percent (I don't know the exact number) of people who are said to have ADD or ADHD are wrongfully 'accused' (I can't think of the word) but pretty much they're given medication for it when they don't even have it. Or when they have something else, then eventually they die from taking the medication, because of the whole OD thing since they aren't supposed to be taking it in the 1st place. Just a quick fact that a friend told me.

But just bring up the subject casually, be like I've been experiencing... ...do you think it could be ADHD (orADD) or... If you think you have ADD (or ADHD) how can you go about getting tested for that?

Sorry if I'm not much help, or if I'm confusing, but hope your doctors appt. goes well.

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ok,
there is tons of girls that like me at my school and they all want to go out with me, so i need to know if i should become a "player" and go out with all of them at once or let them take turns?

First, NEITHER, if you become a player, then eventually all the girls will hate you. If you just take turns, then they'll realize you don't care for any of them, and technically that's still sorta playing them, cause your playing their emotions. Pick the one you like the best, that'd you'd rather be with... cause rememeber, most girls are high maitenence (sp?) and most guys usually pay, every once in a while it's split... but which girl do you like more, be with her. If it doesn't work out, then go for another that you think you'll like. But to spare the other girls heart, wait a week or two before you get another girls. Well I gotta get to school, later ~~KAte**

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is it just me?..or do other people think like me, that they hate themselves, that theyre not worth living. Because there are so many stressful things in life, school, personal life, friends, family..so on and so on....im stressed over so much stuff, and all i do to make myself feel better is to cry. i keep my emotions up inside of me, and all i have to let my feelings out is in a journal i keep and write my deep thoughts and feelings in it. i dont think there is anyone in this world that i can tell ALL of my feelings to. is it just me?...is there anyone else out there who thinks just like me?...how do you solve your problems?...

I used to think that way... I got my feelings out through writing... not very good writing, but writing nonetheless. I talk to people about my problems, I can be very open if I want, or I can just slap a fake smile on my face and be on my way... You can write, draw, play sports, talk, excercise... and the list goes on. You can do lots of things to get out your feelings. if you want, in a previous question I gave a website, it had the words cut it out in it. On the side panel it'll say things like what you can do instead of self injure yourself. Well you can also do those things just to safely get out feelings too. Sorry I'm not much help. good luck

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hey a while ago u answered my question about cutting, i counted i have 42 deep scars on my arms wrists legs.. i dont know how else i can control my emotions or how else to deal with it.. when i am in a stressful situations i continualy scratch myself so i calm down. i have the words betrayal written across my hip and i think it will b a lifelong scar.. i dunno why i do STUPID shit like that i cant help it.. im constantly sad n thinkin about dyin. i dont know how else to curb my anger n desperation do you have any suggestions to what to do? please dont say take up sport or anything because it doesnt work im not going to tell my friends family or ANYONE i know about it i would rather keep my dignity..

Babe, you HAVE to tell. I'm really sorry, but if it's this out of control you HAVE to tell. When I asked a question about cutting on this site I told people NO to me telling someone, but I did. I'm sorry that this isn't what you want to hear. But I don't care. I mean this is really dangerous. A good way to keep your dignity and tell at the same time is do what I did. I was to embararrased to actually tell someone, and I didn't know who I could turn to. I sent out an anonymous e-mail to a teacher sort of asking for help. Just make up a yahoo e-mail adress (b/c they're free) use a fake name on it. Like I think mine was just Wishful Thinker... make up a fake birthday, and all that, because most likely the teacher will try and find out who you are. Then e-mail them. Be like, I need help, but I don't want anyone to know who I am because I have dignity and don't want to lose it. Then say stuff like I'm addicted to cutting. I can't stop. Whenever I feel a bad emotion I just do it.
Please, help me.
^And that can be your e-mail, unless you probably would want to add some more into it. But please please tell somebody. If I hadn't of told anyone, I would've thought my life had no meaning, and I would've eventually committed suicide. I might not know you, but I don't want that to happen to you. Every life has a purpose, you won't find that person if you don't live long enough to. I learned that, and I wish you would too!!!!!!! Please, please please, if you want to e-mail me with the whole situation, or more bits and pieces of it, Basketball_Babii_08@yahoo.com!!!!!!!!!

If you seriously don't want to tell someone, the number to teen talk is on my column, and here's a website that somebody gave to me. http://groups.msn.com/CutItOut
On that website I think it's the left hand that has more links, if you scroll down, and just look through the links, then there's one that gives you alternatives to cutting. And it's also kind of a little chat thing. But PLEASE, you don't know what you're doing to yourself. I've had friends committ suidide because they thought nobody cared, in reality you're hurting the people around you. For you, maybe you aren't thinking about death, maybe you just want a way to relieve the pain... well hun, eventually it's going to kill you!!!!!! Please, if you wan't someone to talk to, and you want it to be anonymous, e-mail me!!!! Or if you wanted something more specific then drop another in the inbox. I know you said not to tell you to tell someone. But you will not lose your dignity, they will get you the help you need. You can't overcome cutting without any help!!!!! To tell you the truth, I recentley did it, it's one of the toughest habits I've ever tried to stop... and I was anorexic, if you'd think anorexia is a tough thing to stop... well then not compared to cutting. When I was really depressed, I wrote poems, they weren't very good, but this kids in my math class found out I wrote them (and though he's a real tough guy... he writes poems too) but he read them and said they were good. But besides the point. Poems don't have to rhyme, just write them to get out your feelings. Or draw. Whether you just make a collage of dark colors, or whether you're a good artist and you can draw. Or paint, or make stuff.... or listen to music/sing. I am going to be late for school if I go on an on with what you can do instead of cut, but e-mail me Basketball_Babii_08@yahoo.com, IM me (xo Krazi Kate ox

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What are solar nails?

Fake nails... that's about all... I was curious when you asked the question cause I never heard of them, but I asked a friend and that's what she said they were

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Everyone is always saying "I hate tanlines" blah blah blah. Is it wierd that I actually like them? Like if you wear a tube top after wearing a bathing suit that ties around your neck, or if you had cris cross straps on your back. I think its kind of like a sign that you tan. idk, I think its kind of cool...is that wierd? I don't like tanning lines after you wear shorts, or a farmers tan...

I wouldn't like a farmers tan, but you mean, like if you wore a bathing suit with a crisscross in the back, got a tan, then wore a tube top and people could see the crisscross? If that's kind of what you mean, then I agree, I think it's kinda cool, because it's like proof that you actually have a tan if that makes any sense ha ha. But if it were like a farmers tan on my arms or legs... eww, not cool. But hey, everyone likes different things, so it's OK.

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hurry i need advice quick wut does it mean when a girl is going to "play" a guy???

It means that she's going to do something with another guy, or that she's going to cheat on him. Like if she's with a guy, then she's going to go hook up with another guy w/o the original guy knowing. The same when a guy plays a girl.

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I am turning 15 in less than a month and lately ive been looking up information about female masturbation. I masturbated the 1st of march for the first time ever. Well i dont know if sticking a magic marker in your vagina is masturbating...but anyway. Today i worked up the nerve to finger myself. It felt weird. Yesterday when i first ever masturbated i thought it felt really good...and i really want to have an orgasm...i just dont know how. I'm not comfertable with large objects in my vagina, only the size of my index finger. So my first question is " How do i get an orgasm with nothing bigger than a magic marker or my finger?" and my second question is "how come the morning after the first time i masturbated i felt really sick?"
Sorry this is so long...but i really need to know. Thanks everyone.

I don't want to judge, but a magic marker? Anyway, I don't do that, so I'm not completely sure. But I do know, that it doesn't putting something up there to get an orgasm... I've never experienced one, because I've never done anything remotely like that, but I do know from other people, that they've gotten an orgasm without anything being up there. I've also heard that you can get an orgasm through clitoral stimulation, which I'm not really going to explain, but there are websites on it, I bet all you'd have to do is search at http://www.gizoogle.com, or http://www.google.com. I never heard of anyone feeling sick the morning after masturbating. Isn't it supposed to be a good feeling, during and after masturbation? Well, maybe because you aren't used to it, you felt weird or guilty, and then the next morning you just felt a little queasy, or maybe it had nothing to do with masturbating. Unfortunately on your part I don't masturbate, so I don't know much information, except for what friends I know who do that tell me, and like if someone asks me a question to my inbox and I don't know the answer I research it, so pretty much all I know on this subject is clitoral stimulation, never have done it, but well, I suppose since it's a form of masturbation without anything being inserted into the vagina then you can get an orgasm from that. Sorry I'm not really all that help, and sorry that I'm so confusing. But I do hope I helped at least a little bit. ~Kate

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i saw a girl post how she has hair on her upper lip and she dosent know what to do and so someone said shave it off... i was just wondering... my grandma told me that if you do that it will leave hair like when guys shave not hair but like little bits.. ok that doesnt make sense but if anyone knows what i am talking about-is it ok to shave ur upper lip (im a girl) thanx

NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You do NOT want to shave your upper lip. It will (just like your legs and everything else) come in fuller, and darker. You do not want that, eventually it will look just like a mans moustache. I do know that some people wax, and that some people pluck hairs, but I advise against it. I don't know how bad it would be to wax your upper lip, but DO NOT shave it!!!!!!!!!!!

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okay i don't understnad when people say or its on an icon or something what dose it mean when they say its ther Anti drug?

It's saying that's what they're doing instead of drugs. Like some people have dancing as their anti-drug saying that instead of doing drugs, they dance, and that they'd rather dance than do drugs. Like for me, basketball, my anti-drug. I like basketball more than drugs, and basketball is fun, and I'd rather do it than drugs any day, even if I'm not AWESOME at it, I can still shoot pretty good shots and stuff, but that's besides the point, the point is, beasketball has more appeal to me than drugs. Hope this answered your question.

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Im not yet either but Im scareed I will become. Earlier this night i tried to make myself throw up. Im 14 5'1 and wiegh about 103. Most people think Im crazy because I think Im fatter than most people, but I do. How can I overcome this feeling, and actions. I know that if i become either it will be very hard to stop. please! I need help very bad! Im not afraid to admit it. so please if you read this, answer my question! please!

♥ scared

Well you could always try going to your school councilor, but I will warn if, if you don't want your parents to know, then that is not your best bet. School guidance councilors have to tell your parents when you're in any kind of danger, so I think that would qualify, but not completley sure. But I used to be anorexic, and I was for lke a little more than 2 years, it is a hard habit to stop once you've started, now I just learned to live with the way I look. But bulemia is also the healthier of the two. After a while it won't be as healthy becaues you'll like kill your stomach, and your vocal cords, but what I mean by healthier is that at least you'll get food in you, and depending on when you thro up, you might actually get the nutrients and stuff you need. But yeah, you should talk to a teacher/friend/parent/relative that you trust, or just try to see the guidance councilor.
If you want anything you can e-mail me on my new e-mail address, Basketball_Babii_08@yahoo.com
Good luck, stay away from eating disorders, THEY SUCK!

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ive been going out with this boy since last friday (6 days) i like him so much and firday im going to a dance with him should i makeout with him or is it too soon

If he also wants to make out, then go for it. I mean a lot of people kiss on the 1st date, and I'd consider that a date. So yeah, if you BOTH want to, then go for it!

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Hey! Im looking into seeing broadway shows, i love watching them and i was wondering if anyone had some they'd like to recomend!?
THanks a lot!

Is Oklahoma a broadway play? I know they made it into the movie, but I hated the movie, I thought the play was much better. But my opinion. I also like Fiddler on the Roof, we had to watch that a while back in some class. I assume CATS is good, though I haven't seen it, it's just a famous one. Sorry I'm not much help, I really liked Oklahoma though, the play with...I forgot the actors name... was really good. Sorry I'm not much help.

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my dad hits me. and i'm really afraid of him. when he comes home from work i stay in my room. but whenever i do something wrong. even when i get less than an A on a test he'll hit me and say i'm not living up to my potential. i don't know what to do. He hits my mom to and i get badly bruised from the battles. what can i do? who can i go to? and is there anyway possible that i can get out of my house and be adopted or something? help me Please.

Wow, I'm sorry. Who do you feel you can trust the most? A teacher, a councilor, a friend, obviously not a parent, but just who can you trust? Who do you talk to about anything. Back when I cut my wrists and stuff I was afraid of trying to find who I could go to. I had one teacher that I told, and she sort of new my situation, and I had another teacher who found out, and who went to guidance. The guidance councilor will probably try calling your house, but unless you have a teacher you feel you can really be open with, that's your best bet. Maybe tell your best friend you have something serious to tell them, then the two of you can go to guidance, or can go to your favorite/most trustworthy teacher together and just talk. They'll find some way to help. But when he hits you again, if there's a bruise, or any other physical evidence, show it to whoever you tell. Guidance/the teacher/friends parent might call child protective agencey, but it's for the best. I'm glad you realize that you need to get out of the situation your in, and remember it's not your fault no matter what anyone tells you, it's never your fault. Your father (no offense) has serious issues, either he was beaten as a child, or he has mental issues (I'm being serious) Nobody will hit you to get you up to your potential. If someone wants you to work hard, then they'll find a fun way of getting you to work. That's why I procrastinate so much, because I have no fun doing the work. But yeah, back to you. You NEED to tell a teacher/friend/friend's parent/guidance counciler. Or just (with physical proof) go to the POLICE! If there's physical proof, then they HAVE to do something about it. Or if you want the teen talk number, then it's on my column, I'm sorry but I don't know it by heart. But you can call that number and I guess explain your problem. I almost called it once, but I chickened out. I'm sooo sorry for your situation, but you do need to go to someone IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!!!!! update me on what happens if you want either through the inbox, or my newest e-mail address, Basketball_Babii_08@yahoo.com

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Okay I really love to swim and cheelead but next year I will be a freshman and I will need to chose.. I love both.. but which one would be better for me?? I am 14 and I have a pretty busy life.. my sister is also a cheerleader and she quit swimming.. plz help me out.. but now i got to go to 7th hour in school.. thank you..

Kaydee

Well cheerleading in my opinion would be a lot more fun. You'd stay fit, you'd make lots more friends (from the people on the squad, and people on the teams) you'd get to go to all the games (FOR FREE) you'd get to go to competititons, and well you're hair doesn't get all gross. I love to swim, but if I had the choice between the two I'd choose cheerleading. Though I'm more of a basketball person myself. I find that sport a lot of fun, well basketball and soccer. I'm super good at soccer, but I'm pretty good at basketball. But I'd go with cheerleading. It's all up to you though.

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what are some good yearbook signatures? its gettin to that time of year and i dont wanna just sign my name!

It depends on the grade, like if you're going frmo middle school to high school, and you're going to different schools than most of your friends, and like your best friend (that's what happened to me) then you'll want something more special, if that's the case, let me know

Oh, and of course, sign your name at the end of each of them :-)

You can be like...
~HAGS and KATS hope to SYNY
~ You've been an awesome friend this year, can't wait to see ya next year
~Life is like toiletpaper, long and useful, have fun wiping ( ha ha, someone wrote that in my yearbook in 6th grade)
~ Oh my gosh girl, we gotta hang over the summer, I can't wait to SYNY, hope we have classes or at least lunch together, love ya babe!!!!!!!
~ (their name) oh my gosh, I can't believe the year is almost over, rememeber when (fnuny event towards the begining of friendship or when ya'll met) wow, time flies! I'm going to miss you babe, hope to see you lots over the summer and to SYNY. HAGS and KATS

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I was once a moderator, then left the site for a week, now it says to become one again I have to update my column. How do I update again? I tried what I thought was everything, but nothing happened. Thanks a bunch

Answer bunches of questions, and you have to be rated like at least 5 times within the last month, then go to the FAQ, they give you a link you click on that says make me a mod, if you meet all the things you have to meet, wa-la, you're a moderator again.

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