"People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone." - Audrey Hepburn
I came to this site for advice about a man and love. That very question turned my entire world around and I have had my eyes opened to things I never noticed before.
I've stayed here so that I can share the knowledge I do have. I know I'm not changing the world but I do hope that I spark others to open their eyes.
"The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself." - Oscar Wilde
So, if you learn something from what I say then repeat it to someone else who can use it.
I hope that if you see an answer of mine that you enjoy it will inspire you to go out of your way to give good, solid information. Provide links for further information, detail your responses, encourage people to seek out professionals when it's needed, and stop sugar-coating responses and just say the truth.
I hope that even if you absolutely hate my answer that it'll kick start your brain. Hopefully you'll begin taking your time to respond instead of hurried answers that are useless to an already confused person.
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." - Robert Frost
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Member Since: October 12, 2007
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someone called me "boo" what does that mean? (link)
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Actually, it is derived from the French word "Beau" which actually means beautiful.
Although "beau" does not sound anything like "boo" that it is how it originally came to be. Pretty much, someone mispronounced the word and thought it sounded like a pleasant word to call their partner.
In addition, in 18th century England it meant an admirer, usually male. It is usually to either gender nowadays and typically is understood as a multitude of things, centering around affectionate terms such as: Sweetheart, cutie, girlfriend, boyfriend, and even sexy.
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so i blowdry & straiten my hair almost everyday. & it seems to be getting pretty damaged and dry. is there any kind of shampoo&conditioner i can use to help repair my hair and make it look shiny & smooth?!! (link)
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I read in a book about an ingredient in some shampoos and conditioners that is really important to look for.
It was called panthenol. It is suppose to be the B5 pro-vitamin and helps to strengthen the hair by filling in damaged areas, leading to less breakage and a smoother feel. It is suppose to help retain moisture (helping to keep it shiney) and thicken hair strands as well. Look for hair products containing this.
In addition, the book I was reading suggested finding a leave-in conditioner that had panthenol in it (some are even labeled on the front of the bottle) to help repair the hair follicles. The book claimed that this was the best method to repairing damaged hair and, if used properly for an extended period of time, would eventually "heal" the hair completely.
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is there anything you can use so that when a guy goes down on you it doesn't taste bad or sweaty or anything? i want it to like smell and taste good but not like berry flovored or anything that would be obvious. my goal is for him to not know i used anything. thanks!! (link)
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I wanted to note something very important about using soap:
Yes, you should definately shower as close as you can before the encounter; however, you are never suppose to apply soap inside your vagina for various reasons. When cleaning your vaginal area, you simply apply soap to your outer bits--which means nothing within the "lips" of the vagina.
By applying soap to your actual vagina, you majorly increase the chances of developing a yeast or bacterial infection. Yeast infections are basically easily curable and simply irritating but bacterial infections can be extremely harmful and can lead to major complications years later. Both infections basically have the same sort of symptoms so it's very hard to figure out which is which--meaning a doctor's appointment is definately required.
This is also a concern if you are considering douching. Douching is very unhealthy for the body but some women prefer to use such products before engaging in oral sex. This being said, there is quite the selection at your local store.
The vagina is naturally cleansing itself so there is no need to use any products on it. If you apply something that disrupts it's natural balance you can easily develop an infection. The vagina is delicate and has a special PH balance that is kept in check. This is also why you are constantly discharging--it's your body cleansing itself naturally. Technically, your vagina is not dirty.
Along with the soap issue, oral sex can also lead to such infections because of the mouth carrying so much dirt and oils. In addition, you can also pass STDs/STIs along via oral contact. This means you are risking your health in a more serious manner than you may have previously thought. This is how many, many people end up with herpes on their genitals, by the way.
Next, you should realize that your own pheromones are attractive to the opposite gender. Of course you secrete more of these scents in your lower regions as to attract a mate. This being said, the man will probably be interested in your natural odor and taste and will not think of it as dirty or unattractive.
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Just a few days ago, I got my ears pierced. Im fourteen and I had them done when I was seven but they got infected.
I have really thick earlobes, hah. So that makes it difficult to clean my ears, but I try.
But my ears still hurt and I cant tell if theyre swollen or not, because my ears are just...thick! You know? And my brother said they look red but Im always red so its hard to tell.
How do you tell if your ears are infected, and can you make it go away without having to take out the earrings? Thanks so much! (link)
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[EDITED TO ADD IN: When you rated me you added in that the reason they tell you to twist the ring is to keep the flesh from attaching to the metal ring. Just so you're aware, your flesh is completely unable to attach to the metal ring. I never twisted any of my piercings (ears included) because it is very damaging to the healing area. Your flesh will NOT attach to the ring, you do NOT have to worry about that. Plain and simple, they were told lies and they simply fed you what they were told.]
In reality ear piercings are the same as any other body piercings really. This being said, you want to treat it like any other piercing too. I've had MANY piercings (~12) so I'll try to pass along the information I know that really does help.
Piercings will naturally be swollen and red for a few days after occurring. The body goes through a lot of trauma, especially if you had the gun used on your ears. You should really never be "gunned" again for your own safety. I'll tell you why (I posted this on another question and really cannot reword it as it suits this question very well):
"The modern piercing gun cannot be 100% sanitized because it cannot be autoclaved. There are parts that the piercer cannot reach entirely to clean with alcohol even. This means bits of other flesh (even if it's your own, it's sat there for a little while and grown bacteria) will be jammed into the fresh wound.
If the gun is used on other people than yourself then you're subject to contracting Hepatitis or even HIV from it.
Also, the piercing gun does damage to the surrounding tissue of the puncture wound. They can cause excess scar tissue. This is because it punctures your body by blunt force instead of a sharp, clean, swift motion of a needle. This trauma to your flesh can cause more soreness and makes it more prone to infection.
Even a simple infection can leave your body deformed. You may have to see a doctor multiple times and may end up having the piercing lanced if a pocket of infection grows."
So, next time you're looking to get a piercing, try actually going for the needle. Believe it or not, the needle actually hurts LESS than the gun and is less likely to leave the piercing hurt for days after.
Next, the way to clean any other piercing is fairly simple. You need to purchase saline solution (you can buy this at wal-mart called Wound Wash Saline, or any pharmacy for super cheap--just ask about saline solution for puncture wounds). Pretty much all this is a good sea-salt wash for your skin.
Because the wash can dry out your skin easily, you need to only rinse off the area twice a day. When rinsing off with the solution, try not to twist the ring as suggested because it only damages the healing tissues. I have no idea for the life of me why they tell people to twist the earrings--it is damaging to your healing area and will leave you with more scar tissue than you need, for sure!
Never use alcohol or peroxide on an unhealed (or possible infected) piercing. Both of these solutions sound like a good choice; however, they tend to kill off the cells that are currently helping to health the area. These cells are what takes the infection away from the area to be dealt with and if you kill all of the good cells off, nothing can carry the dirty cells away.
Signs of infection usually include:
A noticeable warmness at the puncture area
Swelling
Yellow-to-green (not clear; clear is not bad) discharge
Discoloration of the area--usually bright red
Pain; usually throbbing
If your earring is too tight, you may need to switch them out with a long type. This usually is not recommended for an unhealed piercing because it allows more dirt to enter the piercing (removing the piercing) so you may need to see your local piercer on changing them out for you. This is usually a free service regardless if you had the piercing done there or not.
Do not remove the piercing if it is infected. You may be left with a pocket of infection in your ear that will never, ever heal properly. Trust me, you would hate going to the doctor to have them lance your ear to drain it while being on a course of antibiotics. So, if it is infected, try to let it rest while doing what I recommended above. If it doesn't get any better then see a doctor for antibiotics.
In short, rinse the earlobes off with the saline solution twice a day and do not mess with the piercing unless you absolutely need to.
I hope things go well and your piercing heals just fine. Give it some time. :)
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well i used to cut and my parents dont know but i did stop. anyway i might have to go to the doctors and i have scars on my hips and i'm worried that the doctors will ask me about it and stuff. what do i do?? plus i dont want them telling my parents because it is my business not theirs. i dont have any open cuts or anything like i said i stopped but i have scars. and there is no good explanation on why i have scars on my hips lol. thanks so much :) (link)
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The doctor won't say anything to your parents unless you are currently endangering yourself and he/she feels that your parents absolutely must know.
If you lie to the doctor, he/she may feel that you are still having major mental issues and may feel obligated to inform your parents.
Your doctor, most likely, isn't going to say anything to your parents. He/she may not even say anything to you about the scarring. Nowadays they see many young people with scars on their bodies from self-mutilation. Doctor's are not concerned about "ratting you out" to your parents, they only get involved with the parents when they think the child is having problems they cannot deal with.
This being said, the fact that the scars are healed up will indicate that you no longer are going through the problems you are now. The doctor may even think you have gotten mental help for the disorder. Either way, you should definately not lie to your doctor.
If the doctor asks why you have cuts then be honest. Just tell him that you went through a hard time in your life and things are okay now and you know you don't need to do that to your body any more. If you claim that a dog or a cat did it, the doctor will probably not believe you. If your scars are bad enough that they are visible then it probably doesn't look like an animal wound anyway.
In short, just be honest about what you went through. Don't get nervous about it, the doctor is only there to make sure you're alright. Doctors see these things all the time and they know when a child needs help. If you don't have unhealed wounds then he/she will probably think you're past the self-harming point.
I hope you're honest with your doctor so he/she knows how to deal with you properly and can see that you get treatment if you need to in the future (you know, if you start doing it really bad again or something). I hope your doctor's appointment goes well and you find yourself to be in good health.
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if a guy has never been with another girl , does that mean he can still have an std? like can he have an std without being with another girl? (link)
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This is a very good question.
In short, yes it is very possible for someone to have an STD and not be aware of it while never having any previous sexual partners.
If you check around some forums for people with STDs you will notice a surprising number of people who have transmitted their STD to their infant. The infant will unknowingly grow up so use to the symptoms of the incurable STD that they will be clueless that it is transmittable.
When I was researching some herpes facts I found that a many number of parents transferred their herpes onto the genitals of their newborn during diaper changes. Some women also pass the virus along to an unborn child as it is passing through the vaginal canal. This is why they are instructed to take a course of herpes treatment pills (remember, it is not curable, the pills only help to relieve some symptoms) in hopes the woman does not experience an outbreak during labor--when it would be easier for the baby to contract.
It is also very common for babies to be born with AIDs in Africa. The blood that naturally comes from the woman during labor usually will transmit the disease to the infant. Again, the baby will grow so accustomed to their disease that they aren't even fully aware that they have contracted something very serious.
The only way to know if you are completely clean from STDs is to have a complete blood test done. Even then, herpes can be hidden within the body unless it is currently broken out into a blister.
Anyway, yes, a person can very well be born with an STD or contract it very early in life. Many parents are so ashamed that they have spread their disease that they do not tell the child about the seriousness of it.
I also want to take note that condoms so a very poor job in helping to prevent the spread of STD/STIs. Seriously, if you're concerned about your health then you should have yourself and your partner screened for illnesses before engaging in activities. Many, many people contract STDs/STIs from engaging in sex with condoms. Condoms aren't really for preventing the spread of such things--they are only meant to be a barrier from sperm entering the vagina. This being said, it does not cover the entire genital region and, let's face it, STDs usually do.
I hope I've helped clear some things up with you!
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I'm writing a short story, and in it the mother finds something the girl doesn't want to find. But I can't decide what I want it to be -- I'm thinking:
-condoms
-birth control pills
-bong/marijuana pipe
-blunt papers & a lighter
What else would she not wanting her mom to find? That's all I can come up with, but I'd like her to have something else found.
Thanks for all help! (link)
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You can center it also around stealing, hidden relationship, lying about going places, etc. I'm not sure if I would input so much "drama" into the story since it's going to be short, but if you feel that you don't have enough to write on then I'm more than willing to help you out.
Some ideas for these things are:
1. Engagement-type ring
2. Pornographic photos of self/boyfriend/girlfriend
3. Big stash of expensive jewelry or unexplained money
4. Unexplained, expensive cellphone (or other item like a laptop that may be stolen or bought with drug-money)
5. Concert tickets/concert ticket stubs that she wasn't allowed to go to or that the mother had no idea about
6. Razor blades and blood-stained cloth
7. Pill bottles showing that it belongs to somebody else (could be empty even or could even be a baggy of random pills if you wanted)
8. Report cards showing many failed courses
9. Letters home from teachers/principal informing parent of suspension that the mother never received
10. Severely damaged Bible, showing signs that she's turned away from God completely
11. Self-hate journal (detailing personal things such as she is anorexic/bulimic, homosexual, suicidal, etc)
12. Stash of photos of severely anorexic looking women.
13. Diary that tells of the girl's promiscuous sex life, drug abuse, and dislike of her own mother.
14. Papers from a clinic regarding a STD test the girl has recently had and revealing that the daughter has contracted something.
15. Used syringes/needles.
16. If the girl is 16 or over, a paper regarding her choice to drop-out of high school and a forged signature of her mother's.
17. A medical paper from an abortion the girl has had at the local clinic.
18. Jewelery from piercings--like a tongue ring or a belly-button ring that the mother didn't know the daughter had.
19. Receipt from a tattoo recently done (turns out the girl got a tattoo done and the mother didn't know about it)
You should really try to think of things that aren't usual and make the reader think about why the girl would have done such things. Try not to be bland and do what everyone else has already done--creativity all the way. The more detail about one thing, the more the reader can visualize what has happened and what the mother is feeling.
I hope I've helped spark some neat idea in your brain and that your story turns out great.
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my soccer team has a week long tournament in florida in about 5 days and the coaches said bring swimsuits because we're going swimming at the beach. Ya well i'm supposed to be getting my period soon and i cannot wear tampons... advice???? (link)
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I am also all for the suggestion of menstrual cups; however, I'd probably look into a non-disposable one if I were you.
A rare few of women are not able to wear the Instead Menstrual Cups because of the sizing of their unique vagina. This is what the site says:
"...our cup is a "one size fits most." This single size was chosen after significant design research showed that it fit almost all women comfortably and securely. Sometimes due to anatomical differences a small minority of women may find the Cup doesn't fit as well as they would like it to."
http://www.softcup.com/product/frequently_asked_questions.php#a05
Although, most drugstores like CVS and Rite Aid (and some Wal-Marts even) have them nowadays. They may seem pricey but they can safely be worn a little longer than tampons.
They are completely safe to use in the water. I've never ever read about anyone having leakage problems while swimming; although, some women do experience leakage issues if attempting sexual intercourse (though the site says you can have sex with no mess with these in).
Non-disposable cups can be used many, many times with boilings in between to sanitize them decently. They are made smaller than the Instead cups and have a suctioning action so that they will not fall out, twist around, or leak. They also may seem pricey at first; however, they can be worn up to 12 hours at a time and can be used for years without problems.
Non-Disposable cup names (for search purposes) are:
· Divacup
· Femmecup
· Keeper
· Lady Cup
· Lunette
· Mooncup (UK)
· Moon Cup (Keeper)
They come in different sizes, do not leak because of the light suctioning (you cannot feel it), and are easily sanitized. Here is a link that includes some photos of them and the Instead cup:
http://sew-in-love.com/menstrual-cups.html
...and here is a LiveJournal community link with photos of some of those cups:
http://community.livejournal.com/menstrual_cups/473758.html
You can purchase non-disposable cups in few places so your best bet for one may be online. You may also be able to search the specific cup's website that you're interested in about their selling locations. I know for a fact that DivaCup.com has a store locater section.
I hope you figure out a way to be able to attend the tournament in Florida without having to worry about your period.
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okay. well i have frostwire. but i want a different skin for it. and i clicked where it said get more skins. but it took me to download like the newer version. and im downloading it right now. but while i was waiting for it, i was looking and there wasnt any skins there or anything.
so do you know what sites i can get skins for it from ?
thanks. (: (link)
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I searched around and haven't found too much regarding skins/themes; however, their website directs you to this link for downloading some free skins (although, you're unable to see a preview of them):
http://www.frostwire.com/beta/skins/
Apparently you can also download LimeWire skins and apply them to FrostWire if that seems like a good option for you.
Here is a link to the LimeWire themes and how to apply them properly (just replace the words LimeWire with FrostWire when reading and looking for the folders):
http://wiki.limewire.org/index.php?title=Get_a_Skin
I hope the skins I was able to find are beneficial to you. I apologize for not being more of a help.
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Does anyone know if jean auel is well and actually working on the 6th book of Earth's Children? websites have told me nothing! its been years now. (link)
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It seems as if she really is working on the sixth book. On the Earth's Children Fan Club website it says:
"BOOK 6 STATUS: Jean is currently writing the 6th book in the Earth's Children series. Until she has the final draft ready for her editor, there will be no updates on progress, estimated publication dates or title from authentic sources."
http://www.ecfans.com/
This was posted on December 27, 2007 it looks like, and the website owners claims that he/she will be posting updated information as soon as it's received.
It also seems that she won't be ending the series after the sixth book as previously planned. She has made comments about going on to a final seventh book before ending it.
It is too early to know when she will be releasing this sixth book really; however, it is rumored that it will be released by December of 2008.
Here is a link to frequently asked questions on the fan site:
http://ecfans.com/AuelFAQ.htm
...which helps to dispel rumors of accidents happening to her and such. They claim that she is fine and well so you don't have to worry about never getting this next book in the series.
I'd keep an eye on that fan site if I were you. They seem to have the most reliable information about the author and may even end up being first to find out about things.
I hope the sixth book comes out soon so you can enjoy the read.
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my mom just told me that my pregnant aunt is in the hospital because she fell on a flight of stairs this morning and had bad stomach pains every since then . mom thinks that she lost the baby . could you loose a baby from falling down a flight of stairs ? and if the baby is dead inside of her , are the doctors at the hospital going to suction the baby out or is it going to be alot of blood when she pees then the tissues and ambilicull cord and everythign just gonna come out when she pees ?
im so concerned about my aunt. please tell me everything you know about a baby dying inside of you!! (link)
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First off, don't lie to Advicenators. We're really not as dumb as you must think we are. If you are serious about a question then you have to give us the truth or we can't really answer you properly.
We really don't like being lied to because we try very hard to help others here.
Secondly, I know it is not your aunt you are concerned about. Nobody in your family is even pregnant, most likely, but you. You see, paid users can view ALL of your questions and the replies. You just asked in your previous question about you getting an abortion because you want to get rid of your baby.
Here is a link to your previous question if it has seemed to slip your mind as to what you have previously told Advicenators:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=541168
Now, I informed you pretty well about abortion but I think you are a little lost--that or you refused to read my response completely. I will try to be as clear as possible.
You do NOT pee the baby out! The baby is not located in your bladder. It is located in your uterus, which sits close to the bladder and has a totally different entrance to. The urinary tract really has nothing to do with the vagina and uterus.
The bladder holds your liquid wastes and is connected to the outside of your body by a tube called the urethra. Your uterus is the environment in which babies develop in and it's connected to the outside world by the vagina. The bladder/urethra does not connect with the uterus/vagina at all.
So, in short, the uterus is where the baby is currently living. When the baby is expelled (at birth or otherwise) it exits only through your vagina.
Here is a diagram of where your urethra is in comparison to where your vaginal opening is (they are labeled as "external urethral opening" and "vaginal opening"):
http://www.middle-east-info.org/league/somalia/normalfemalegenitalanatomy.gif
Here is a diagram of where your uterus is compared to where your bladder is (bladder is colored yellow and the uterus is colored blue):
http://www.gendercentre.org.au/female2.gif
If you PEED the baby out then it would mean the baby lives in the bladder--where your urine is kept until it's expelled through your urethra. The urethra is a tiny hole located a little bit above the vaginal opening. The vaginal opening is a much larger hole comparatively if you look at the diagrams.
See, a vagina is where your partner inserted his penis and where you may regularly insert tampons. You don't pee from that hole if you didn't already know that. This is why women can urinate while having a tampon in. Your urethra is quite small and a penis/tampon could not even fit in it.
Whoever you told you that you can pee a baby out is completely ignorant.
Next, the reason that people are hospitalized because of a miscarriage is because it can be very fatal. Falling down a flight of stairs can be EXTREMELY hurtful to your body. It's more likely that you would hemorrhage (bleed) to death, especially that you're anemic.
Yes, you can lose a baby by falling down a flight of stairs. You can also very well lose your own life. One bump to the head in the right manner and your life could be completely over. If not that, you could be left with broken bones and serious bruises. Many people die from simple accidents like that.
IF your "aunt" really did fall down a flight of stairs (and, no, I do not believe this for a second) and the baby did die then her body already began to expel the tissues and such. The doctors will go in and scrap out the inside of her uterus in HOPES that she doesn't get an infection or be left with scar tissue. She would still bleed just as much, if not much more because of the seriousness of the matter, from falling down stairs as having an abortion. She would bleed for weeks probably--just like an abortion--only she may suffer some more pain because of the injuries.
Any way it is, when a woman loses a baby--abortion, miscarriage, accident, etc.--it is extremely risky. Accidents are probably the most riskiest followed by an actual abortion. Purposely miscarrying means you damaged your body so much that it can no longer function properly.
Stop trying to kill your own baby and start acting like a grown-up. You made grown-up choices and now it's time to figure out how you're going to deal with them.
You do not need to murder your unborn child.
Adoption is completely available and it costs NOTHING.
Hell, you can even leave a newborn at a hospital and you won't be questioned or anything. It is LEGAL to just up and leave your newborn in the hospital if you don't want it.
Regarding your pregnancy: Your parents WILL get over it.
Your partner WILL get over it--even if they do not support you! There are MANY women who make it as a single mother.
There is no reason to stop another's life because you're too selfish to let it interfere with yours. Your baby did NOTHING wrong! He/she did not choose to be created. He/she did not decide it was smart for you to be having sex when you weren't ready to deal with possible consequences.
Do not take an innocent life.
And for another thing:
Stop lying to us.
Be honest and we can help you better.
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i know an abortion is wrong, but there is so much going on in life right now that it is impossible for me to bring a baby into this so i need to get an abortion. im scared tho.
if your only 17, do you have to have have a parent with you or parent permission in order for them to do it? about how much do they cost? i dont know if the state you live in matters about prices but i live in georgia.
what exactly do they do in the procces, how long does it normally take for them to do it? and when you go in for the abortion, when their done giving it to you, do you loose the baby right away? what are the after effects of it, like does it make you sick for a couple of days or does it make you bleed or hurt when you pee or anything? sorry its so many questions but i am really scared and need to know everything possible before i go do it!! (link)
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I really, truly understand your fears about being pregnant; however, you really need to realize that this is your fault and that you should have been more educated than you were. You made adult decisions and now it's time to deal with the adult consequences that have trailed behind it.
Now, I definately do not think abortion is right for you. You are young and I really don't want to see you screw up your entire life because you felt a baby was going to cause you issues. The problem should be in finding the right ways to raise your child than trying to find a way to get out of the mess you've put yourself in.
Abortion can really harm your body just as much as giving birth to a child. I understand your body may not be mature enough to handle pregnancy but no woman's body is truly ready to abort a fetus. A baby can deplete your body of nutrients (which is why pregnant women need to take their prenatal vitamins) but an abortion can leave you scarred physically and/or mentally.
Women who have had abortions can experience problems later on. Many women suffer from major depression for years after having an abortion because, in the end, they come to realize that they have completely stopped another human life. The dates of conception, abortion, and the estimated day the child would have been born haunts many women for years. Some woman can't deal with this so much that they end up committing suicide. If that isn't enough, many women experience difficulty conceiving years later after an abortion--yes, it can render you infertile for the rest of your days.
I found a VERY interesting site for teenagers on abortion. These girls had abortions when they were your age and have gained courage to write about their experiences for other teens to read:
http://www.teenbreaks.com/abortion/abortionhome.cfm
Most of them regret that they had an abortion. Many of them cannot get over that fact and have the dates stuck in their minds. I'm sure that when that date passes each year they are reminded of what they went through to rid themselves of a life they were developing inside of their wombs.
I also want to direct you to a site that shows a live abortion. It's in different parts because the speaker gives you a lot of information on what the fetus and the mother will be going through. The video shows the ultra-sound as the procedure happens. It is important you see this before having an abortion so that you know fully what will be happening--it is best to inform yourself well. Before clicking the link to watch the video, prepare yourself because it is real life:
http://www.silentscream.org/video1.htm
...Part 3 really starts to show the actual abortion happening. The speaker does add that the doctor that did the abortion never did another one and that the woman filming it never spoke about abortion again, though she was previously for it.
Yes, that is a real baby, really feeling pain and maybe even fear during such a procedure. You can see that it was fully aware that it was being harmed and was not oblivious to the foreign object as many people would like you to believe.
Just as a note, some states will not perform an abortion past 4 months, most are done before the first 14 week mark. Abortions after 24 weeks are only performed because of health complications just as another note. The further along you are, the more expensive it will be. Here is also some information on how different types of abortions are done and what the baby is like during certain stages of development when these practices are performed.:
http://www.lifesitenews.com/abortiontypes/
Here are some REALLY, REALLY good videos that explain the different kinds of abortions:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QBOAPleF1t0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDj12ffvpgY
Abortion is also a very risky procedure for the mother of the fetus as well. The woman does not just pee out some blood and experience pain--the mother bleeds out the lining of her uterus as it contracts strongly to expel the fetus. The baby, placenta, umbilical cord, and the thick lining of the uterus will come out of the vagina. Even if the doctor suctions all of the "matter" out of the uterus, the woman will still bleed and may suffer some scarring in her uterus (preventing her from EVER being able to have children).
Many women have even DIED because of hemorrhaging, infections, and other complications. It's usually a very painful process for the woman and she is usually let in physical pain for days/weeks following. As another note, the woman usually bleeds for WEEKS after the abortion so it honestly isn't just a little blood in the urine.
Here is a super great website that has links to all sorts of abortion-related issues:
http://www.eadshome.com/AbortionUgly.htm
...and they even have a section (and a couple of links) of women who have passed away because of an abortion:
http://www.eadshome.com/AbortionDeaths.htm
http://www.prolife.com/marlas.htm
...as a note, MANY women are dying because of abortions:
http://www.revver.com/video/824430/daughter-died-in-abortion-procedure/
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1331962/posts
http://www.prolife.com/DEADWMN.html
On another note, the reason why it's important to know if the woman having the abortion is anemic is because they are more likely to suffer complications (meaning: death) because they cannot afford to lose so much blood.
Please know that abortion is not your only option. Please give yourself plenty of time to decide what is the best choice. Even if your parents are upset that you are pregnant they will eventually get over it. Some parents can be really hurt in the beginning that their son or daughter disobeyed but, in the end, they still love you. Many parents later realize that the unborn baby IS their grandchild and help their son or daughter to figure out how to raise the baby when it comes.
Please do not put your body through the mess that is abortion. Please do not end a life that you have been helping grow. If both of your parents are not aware, take your chances and open up to your parents about what has happened. Like I said, even if they are upset they WILL get over it. If you're scared, there is help out there for you. You've learned the hard way about sexual consequences but it doesn't mean you can easily throw away the result.
Think about the life the child now. Yes, you were selfish and did not consider this major consequence (pregnancy) but you don't have to be any more selfish than you already have been. Even if you're not able to give him/her the best life, someone out there can. When couples look to adopt, they tend to look for infants anyway. By taking this child's life and ending it before it even gets started, you destroy what chance they had at being something. The baby did not do anything wrong here and should not be punished by death.
Adoption is always an option of yours if you are not physically, mentally, or financially capable of caring for another human life. Please look into it if you feel you can carry the child but not raise it properly. You can contact an adoption agency in your area or you can relinquish your rights of your child and place it in the custody of the state for adoption. I've read something about Volunteers of America for adoptions being really good but I have no personal experience with them myself. Here is a link directing you to their site:
http://www.voagno.org/Services/ChildrenYouthFamilies/AdoptionServices/tabid/1238/Default.aspx
Just as another note, some agencies actually let the expecting party interact with possible parents to ensure they are giving their child the best chance at life as possible. You may want to look into those agencies to help find your child good, loving parents. It may even be possible for you to work out a way that you can still be in the child's life lightly as they grow so you're aware of their progress.
Please give your child the best life you are able to. It's so stupid and unreasonable for you to end a life because you were too scared about your own. You CAN find a way to let this baby live. Don't let others pressure you to murder an innocent life because they are afraid for you. Many women go through this same battle every day and are able to raise a child successfully.
I hope that you take enough time to decide what choice is the best before rushing into things. If you have any more questions regarding this subject, please feel free to ask me. :)
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when you block someone on msn what exactly happends?
like does the person not see you online anymore, or sees you but you cant really talk to the person and he doesnt get your messages? (link)
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Alright, let's say that person "A" blocks person "B" on their MSN messenger.
The second that person "A" hits the block button they immediately "appear offline" for person "B". Other people can still see person "A" and if person "B" has another account on the person's MSN messenger list then they are able to log into it and see if person "A" is still actually logged in.
Person "B" is not informed that he/she has been blocked. They may just think that person "A" randomly got offline quickly. MSN messenger does not say that they have actually been blocked and will not longer be able to communicate with person "A".
While person "B" is blocked they may still send "offline" messages to person "A"; however, person "A" will never receive these messages. The messages are simply discarded by the server and person "B" is never informed that they were not actually sent.
Also, as another note, person "B" is still fully able to email person "A" while they are blocked on the messenger. They simply cannot start an online-text-conversation anymore with person "A".
Person "B" will remain blocked on the messenger list for person "A" until person "A" decides to unblock him/her. There is no way of changing this unless person "B" knew the password to the account of person "A" and went in and changed it.
When person "A" unblocks person "B" then person "B" can view when person "A" is online again. Person "B" will then be allowed to send true "offline" messages to person "A" and will be able to effectively communicate again.
I hope I've answered all of your questions effectively :)
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Hey, thanks in advance -
I'm 14/f. My boyfriend of 2-ish months just turned 16.
He's a really cool guy, and he's totally chill about our relationship, as am I. But, the thing is, for the past week/a little longer, after school he usually tries to give me a goodbye kiss. He usually says something like, "alright, well I gotta get going...I have to go see 'so-and-so teacher'," or something. then he gives me a nice hug, which i like :) But then, he's tried to lean in and give me a quick kiss, which I know most people would be completely normal with...but I just tend to be really personal about those things, I guess. So, there always happen to be lots of people in the hall right there, and I'm really not a fan of PDA...I guess I just don't feel comfortable with that at this point. Kissing in front of others, I mean. I like hugging. I'm all for that =P.
Anyway...I feel like such an awful person, because I have been soo nervous when he's tried, as in...I just don't know how to tell him I'm not into that, without sounding mean or anything.
So, instead...Ive kind of just been turning my head..kind of just turning around, looking around or something...I really feel terrible about this.
I just don't know how to bring it up, and I'm sure he'd be totally understanding and cool about it. But I know he PDA'd quite a bit with his last girlfriend ( of like, 2 years...the only other girlfriend he's had). So, I think he's just used to it. See, I'm not...I'm all for it in private.
Let's just say I'm more into pDA with a lowercase "p"...if you know what i mean =p
Thanks so much - i have to bring it up to him, but i'm afraid he'll try to do it again before i get a chance to talk to him alone. and I definitely don't want him to think that i don't like him anymore!!! which is what i'm afraid will happen, since i keep kind of avoiding the kiss...
how do i bring it up? what do i say/do?
thank you sooo much!!!
:) :) :) (link)
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There isn't anything wrong with wanting to keep things private really. It's understandable that kissing may mean something more private and bonding than to some other people.
Really, if I were you, I would just out with it when the guy when spending some alone time. It is probably best to find a comfortable place that you both enjoy being after letting him know that you have something serious to talk with him about. Make sure to let him know things like:
1. You like kissing him. He is a good kisser and it is enjoyable.
2. You do not want to cut out all kissing--just public kissing.
3. Kissing does not mean love. Many people do not kiss and are seen as "in love" and feel very bonded.
4. Not everyone is the same when it comes to showing affection in public. You're somewhat unique for this day and age and you are comfortable with being this way.
5. You do enjoy being seen out with him so privacy about the entire relationship is not the issue. You like the relationship being public; however, you are not fond of some of the affection being public.
6. You still would like to hug and hold hands while being out together. If kisses while alone and still out (such as: at the park where people usually are but aren't for some reason) are acceptable then let him know.
7. Apologize for not coming to him with this problem sooner. Let him know that you were confused as to how to tell him about it and were afraid of not explaining things clearly--leading to misinterpretations and hurt feeling on his part. Let him know this is important to you and that you are glad you are able to be open with him about issues regarding the relationship.
Your comfort means a lot and he should be respectful of that. You need to be as clear as possible about the situation so he doesn't misinterpret something.
What this will come down to is if this person is actually a good match for you. If he can understand and be respectful of your likes and dislikes then you may have found a keeper. If he gets angry or belittles your request then things simply are not going to work out.
If you ever decide to change this decision you're making it may be a little difficult. Just for a future heads-up, when you tell a partner to discontinue something in public and then you want them to do it again it may take a lot of discussion to work through the confusion of your partner.
Communication and comfort are key factors in making a relationship work. If you cannot figure out how to open up to your partner then you need to work on that before things go any further. It's important to be able to be comfortable with your partner.
The discussion on PDA may be lengthy but it's best to work through the issue thoroughly if you truly want things to work out between you and this guy. If you include the above, I'm sure you can figure out a good way to start the conversation. Be honest and open and things will be alright.
I hope your relationship goes well and you find the words to start your discussion about PDA with.
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where can i find cool nike dunks (low or high) ? for women.
there's this one pair that is kind of like, fabric-y and shiny metallic colors, and there's different colors on the shoes. where can i get that pair? (link)
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Since I'm not entirely sure as to what shoe you're looking for specifically, I simply searched for stores that currently sale the Nike Dunks for Women. Your best bet may be to purchase them online if you're sure of your shoe size in Nikes.
As always, you can check the Nike store itself for them since they may be able to order your specific pair. You may also want to check out Foot Locker.
Here are some sites I've found that currently sell the Nike Dunks for Women:
http://www.pickyourshoes.com/size/nike_dunk_wmns.htm
http://www.sneakerhead.com/nike-women-dunks-shoes-p1.html
http://www.mydunksb.com/nike-dunk-women-c-32.html
http://citysole.com/shoe_store/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=5&zenid=7d00d7e5de58befd594347445557dd92
http://nikeid.nike.com
http://nikeid.nike.com/nikeid/index.jhtml?channel=EMEA_NIKEID®ion=EMEA&country=IT&language=UK&location=pdp,Womens_view_all,1900014,WOMEN'S
http://www.krazykickz.com/
You may also want to search Ebay. I got a few things to pop up when I typed in "Nike Dunks Women" so it may be beneficial to you.
While searching I've come across a very important thing about these shoes in that they may have been discontinued. I'm not sure if the entire line has been discontinued or only a few certain types of the shoes. This being said, your quest may be tougher than previously thought. In the end, Ebay really may be your best bet on snagging a pair of these.
I hope I've helped you find the pair you're looking for!
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17/f. let's say i am traveling across the country, and i pack a large bottle of vodka in my suitcase. (not carryon)
what are the chances of getting caught? and how much trouble will i be in? should i just put it in water bottles? (link)
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Personally, I definately wouldn't risk this. Think about this:
You are going to a place where they are sure to scan your luggage. Containers of liquid may be specifically searched to ensure the safety of others in the place/at your destination. People are extremely insecure about airports after the 9-11 attacks and are more likely to take the time to check items thoroughly. These people do body-cavity searches when a very suspicious person arrives or when they feel someone is lying/hiding things from them. Body-cavity searches means gloved fingers from an unknown person up the small, private areas of your body.
Also, if you are chosen from the "random" security check and you even act slightly nervous they may take it as a sign that you are trying to hide something from them.
I know a person who tried to bring some some sort of non-alcoholic beverage in their checked-in luggage and they got pulled aside and questioned. Their drinks were confiscated for further testing because the people at the airport believed it may contain something they weren't fessing up to. The person said they were held for a long time and it was a big ordeal/hassle. Just as a note, the person was well over 21 so alcohol was not the problem. This was a few years BEFORE the 9-11 attacks as well.
I also want to note that luggage isn't really taken care of on the plane--it's pretty much thrown around. This being said, a glass bottle can very easily break while in a suitcase. I think it would be highly suspicious if liquid was seeping from your suitcase somewhere.
If you are thinking of hiding the alcohol in a container other than what it was originally manufactured in, then be extremely hopeful because if it's found you will definately be in deep crap because they will DEFINITELY feel like you're hiding something major from security. You also should definately leave the (new) alcohol sealed if you even remotely decide to attempt this. In other words: If you do this, do NOT change the liquid from the original container!
Also, on another note, airlines do not normally allow any sort of alcohol to be allowed on the plane that doesn't meet the standard of not exceeding 70% by volume (140 proof) if you're thinking about taking anything else.
In short, I really wouldn't bother with trying to figure how to pack it onto the plane.
I hope I've helped you answer your questions.
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Last November I did some really stupid stuff and ended up becoming more than friends with another girl. And even though I'm married, she & I dated and later on started having sex. My wife found out a few months ago and gave me some time to make up my mind about who I want in my life. (She was only so forgiving because she didn't want to freak out our kids & all, you know.) And I've decided. But I feel so dirty. I don't know how to go back to the love of my life after making such an idiot of myself. How can I even pretend I deserve her. Will counseling help me feel "clean" again? I want to just tear off my skin. (link)
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Honestly, for counseling to work, you have to be sincere about wanting to make a change about yourself. You have to give it your all, work out your problems inside, and open up with your partner in every way possible.
For any relationship to work both parties must be able to communicate effectively. Usually marital counseling is suggested when the two people need help on learning to open up with each other about their thoughts/feelings. Again, this is only helpful if the people are sincerely wanting to make a change.
If you're leaving your wife for this other woman then counseling may not help the situation either. Your conscience tells you right from wrong and you are well-aware what you did was in the wrong. Therapy might be able to help you figure out why you have done the things you have done, but it's doubtful that you will actually change unless you make the conscious effort.
This being said, you may never feel clean again. It really varies from person to person and, when it's all said and done, the people who do feel clean again may only feel that way because they have blocked out their conscience that has been screaming at them about the wrong things they are doing. Personally I would never want to block out the part of me that warns me of my own bad doings, but I know many people who have worked to do just that thing.
Many people turn to religion to help them become a new person. They work things out with God and confess to what they have done, asking for forgiveness and wholeness again. Some people start a whole new path this way, letting God lead them in the right directions and stop letting their lustful minds do it; however, you have to be sincere in allowing God to lead your life instead of just claiming such a thing.
For me, only God can truly cleanse your soul--the very thing you dirtied. You are the only one that can let God in to do that.
Just as a last note for you:
Paid users can see your other postings on Advicenators.
This being said, I see that you don't seem very truthful about wanting to be cleansed. Please be honest with us here so we are truly able to help you.
You claimed you and your wife are divorced in the other posting. Ask yourself something very important:
Why do you continue to lie to others?
That is what got you in this mess in the first place--not being truthful to anyone.
Please find the help you need to overcome your issues. I wish you luck on that quest and I pray you will someday feel clean and whole again after you learn from your mistakes.
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So lately i feel i have hit a rut in my relationship. I'm 20 and so is he. I'm taking a summer coarse from Monday to Thursday from 8-2 so that doesn't leave the day to see each other but he works anyways or he has baseball. he calls me every night, texts in the morning and calls me in the afternoon as well. But i feel like hes taking me for granted. He doesn't plan anything or gives any effort. Is it just me or is it because were so busy that we don't have any time for each other? or is it just because hes a guy that he doesn't do anything? I miss him and want a spice in our relationship. I'm feeling a little jealous because hes always busy with work, baseball or friends. i feel like they come before me. i have a weird feeling about it all and i dunno what to do. What do you think on the situation? (link)
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Honestly, the only way you're really going to resolve this issue is to open up and talk to your boyfriend about what you've been thinking.
To me, he's putting some effort into the relationship by making sure he texts and calls enough to make you feel secure; however, I am curious to know what YOU have been doing on your end of the relationship.
Relationships are give and take. You cannot expect for him to make all of the plans and suggest everything for you two to do together. If you want to do something with him then make an effort and tell him what sounds nice and enjoyable. A good way to start is by saying something like:
"Hey, you know...we don't really get to do much lately because of our busy schedules...but I was thinking about how nice it would be to see a movie with you [day/time you are both fairly unoccupied]. How would you feel about that?"
It may also be beneficial to say things like:
"You know, I felt really good and had a blast when we [went to a place together/did something neat together]. We should [do things like that/go to places like that] more often."
And make sure you always let him know when you're free and wanting to do something with him:
"I'm not really going to have anything to do on Saturday and, from what I recall, you don't have a game or work that day either. I really would love to see you if you don't already have plans."
If you don't let him know that you're feeling he's uninterested in you then he won't know what to fix. He may feel the same way you're feeling, or may believe that you are simply too busy and too tired to be bothered by going out so he is trying to give you resting time. A lot of times, a person gets caught up in their hectic life and simply feels that their mate is feeling the same about their own life--it isn't his/her fault, but you need to make them aware of the situation.
Communication is everything in relationships. If you don't tell him how you feel and he doesn't tell you how he feels then you aren't ever going to be able to get through anything together. Open your mouth and spill your guts!
If you enjoy some place then make sure you let him know so he is aware that it makes you happy and he can note to take you there more often. Express interest in things you wish you two would do together. If he doesn't know you're interested, he doesn't know anything. The guy doesn't know that you are waiting on him to make a move--either let him know or you make the move yourself.
You may choose to let him know that you have been feeling like he put you on a back-burner lately, but don't be too harsh about it because he may have had good intentions on not pressing you for time. Let him know that you really do wish you two would be together more often and you do appreciate his efforts in the relationship by keeping communication constant.
Don't be so hard on the guy.
He really isn't a mind reader.
In short, express your concerns to him. Let him know what makes you happy. Give the guy a chance before saying he doesn't really care about making you happy.
I hope things turn out for your relationship.
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I recently purchased a small hand-held game called Miuchiz Pawz. To activate all features it is required that you download/install some things to the computer. I did that just fine and I even registered; however, when I go to connect online it pops up to say that I am not completely updated.
I have gone to the updating website and updated as fully as I can find available (up to v 1.09.03), but I am still receiving the need-to-update response.
Does anyone know why it continues to tell me to update when it won't anymore? Am I missing something important somewhere? (link)
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It seems that Miuchiz is currently updating their website so it may be that the version of Planet Mion has been successfully updated before the ability to actually update the handheld system.
http://www.miuchiz.com/
Clearly is being worked on since it says that the last updating version is 1.09 and Planet Mion is version 2.0.
It also has a section called Cool Stuff that is clearly marked as Coming Soon.
Also, the handheld didn't seem to work properly on Windows Vista so it may be that it was simply not made to work on such a machine. For Windows XP users it may work perfectly fine, as I haven't experienced problem on XP regarding this matter.
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if your on birth control can the guy cum in you?
dont say use a condom because STD's .. me and my partner dont have any so in other peoples experience or heard of stories how likely would you be to get pregnant .. not very likely right? (link)
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The other user is correct in saying that the hormonal birth control pill is 99.7% effective when used in perfection; however, it is unlikely that you are using the pills as perfectly as one hopes. This means that you should be taking your pill at the EXACT SAME TIME every single day. Even if you're only a couple of hours off, you have increased the chances of a pregnancy.
Let's face it, we are not perfect beings. Many things can lead to an imperfection in taking hormonal birth control pills. Antibiotics, mis-scheduling, herbs/supplements, drinking, and even weight gain can cause issues in the quality of pregnancy prevention (it can render your Hormonal Birth Control completely ineffective even).
With TYPICAL use of the hormonal birth control, a woman is 92% protected from pregnancy. However, one should take into consideration that even with a 99% effective rate claimed, there is an estimated 8 in every 100 women who will become pregnant from typical usage. This being said, you should be taking as many precautions as humanly possible to prevent a pregnancy (along with STD/STI transmission).
So, in short, no it really is not acceptable to allow a male to ejaculate inside of your body. Birth control pills are not completely effective and we are not perfect beings. Please protect yourself as much as possible. I know you would not want to have to face the hardships it is to become a young mother (or face the guilt of an abortion).
Please take enough time to research before engaging in risky activity. STDs/STIs can be very serious and people can go a very long time without being aware that they have contracted something and are passing things along. Babies can even be born with such things so anyone is at risk for having such things. Although condoms do not prevent transmission, they can be helpful in lessening risks. Abstinence is the only safe way to know that you are uninfected and not pregnant. Here are a couple of links you should really check out:
Here is a link that has some really freaky STD facts:
http://www.ashastd.org/learn/learn_statistics.cfm
Here is a link to photos of STDs you should research:
http://www.healthac.org/images.html
I hope things go well for you and you gain enough knowledge so we don't see you back here in a few weeks in fear of a possible pregnancy. If you have any more questions regarding this matter, please feel free to ask me :)
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