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I sometimes take long breaks from the site. I'm more than happy to answer anyone's questions, but just make sure they're not too time sensitive. :)Facts about me:
*happy
*employed
*married
*large extended family
*bisexual
*advanced college degree
*no kids (yet)
advice
the problem is Im BI well atleast I think I am I rather want guys but I wouldnt mine experiencing.. Im 14 so maybe its just a phase. Well I made out with my friends b4 but I was just teaching her how cause she was going to the movies with her boyfriends, but I want to finger her or eat her out.. WE both always make fun of gay people like who we think is gay and all so I know she is straight but should I tell her that I am Bi? im afriad it will ruinin our friendship. she is my best friends sence the age of 7 so almost 8 years.. what should I do
First, you can't know that your friend is straight just because she makes fun of gay people. You make fun of gay people too don't you? Maybe she is playing along just like you. Maybe she's not. My point is, you can't ever know another person's sexuality. Even if they tell you. They could be lying or not even know for sure themselves.
If you want to tell her, I would start first by testing the waters a little. Initiate a serious conversation about bisexuality.
If you have a hard time with that sort of thing, some of my personal beliefs on the subject may be able to help you out a little in coming up with something to say. If you don't agree with me, obviously don't say any of these things, but if you do, feel free to use them.
I, personally, feel that sexuality is almost entirely in your mind. There's nothing that makes people straight or gay, but their own thoughts, feelings, experiences, and prejudices. Kissing a guy is going to feel the same as kissing a girl. Liking guys or liking girls is the same as liking people with blonde hair or green eyes. Obviously you prefer certain traits. I happen to like people with dark hair. So, some people may prefer guys and some girls. Gender is only different from other traits because there are deep social factors involved. People saying and believing that liking someone of the same sex is "wrong" is what I mean by that. Nobody's going to say that it's wrong to like someone that's tall. Then there's the fact that you can't have kids with someone of the same sex, so most families are based around heterosexuality. When you date people, you're looking for someone to spend your life with and have a family. It's all about culture, values, morals, and acceptance.
If she takes the conversation well, tell her that you are thinking about your own sexuality and you believe that you might be bisexual.
Since you are only 14, your friend probably won't get, or at least want to accept anything you say. She'll be completely confused and/or disgusted. As soon as you get the feeling that she is - end the conversation. Make a joke, say you're kidding, whatever.
I don't think that you should say anything. Unless she seems to be a very accepting, understanding, liberal person, save it for now. It is good that you want your friend to know, but at the age that you are, unless I was sure she'd understand and still accept me, there's no need or point in her knowing. You can always tell her later in life, when she's more mature mentally and will probably be able to handle it better. Friendships are important and you don't want to lose one over pure immaturity. If you tell her when you're older, say 20, and she can't accept it, I'm sorry, but it would probably be best to end the friendship.
I wish you the best of luck and if you have any questions, problems with what I said, or anything else, let me know. :)
if i had sex about 2 weeks ago i wouldn't know if i was pregnant yet right? because ever since then i've had to go to the bathroom a lot and i don't think it's a blatter infection but i like hurt really bad and stuff and i think i have to go to the doctors but i couldn't possibly be pregnant could i? we used a condom
There probably wouldn't be any outward signs of pregnancy after only two weeks. Plus, you used a condom, which decreases your chances by a lot. What a lot of people don't know is that home pregnancy tests don't work until two weeks after the incident. Since it has already been two weeks, get one of those to ease your mind. Definitely go to the doctor about your problem. Take the pregnancy test first. Even if it comes out negative, tell your doctor that you had sex. Sex could very easily have had something to do with it. I wish you luck. :)
I'm in a very sad depressed mood.
Does anyone have any mood lifters
that I could do at home.
Like activities.
Exercising will help a lot. Exercise causes your body to release endorphins. Endorphins chemically make you happier. Sounds pretty weird, but it's true! Exercise always helps me whenever I get sad or depressed. So go for a jog or something and it should make you feel at least a little better. I hope it works for you and good luck. :)
i have had my period for serverals years now. but the past months it has come every two weeks. it lasts for a week. then two weeks later it is back. is this normal. and why would it do this.
I'm not a doctor, but I think that what is happening is that your hormone levels are off. That happened to one of my friends and she ended up having to have surgery. I'm not trying to scare you, but you should go to a doctor about this. Having your period that much is not normal, nor is it good for you. It's not life threatening so there's no rush, but do talk to your doctor as soon as you get the chance. Good luck.
my friend had un protected sex with her boyfriend. she says they lasted around 15 mins and he cummed. shes really scared so i decided to help her and i want to know what is the chance shes pregnant? (and no this question isnt for me because im waiting for marriage to have sex)
If it hasn't been more than 3 days GET HER A DAY AFTER PILL! They are about 70% effective in preventing pregnancy. That is very important. If you don't know where you can get one, try an emergency room. The chances that she is pregnant aren't through the roof, but they are relatively high. Hopefully this experience teaches her a lesson. Props to you for waiting until marriage. It's such a great thing that few people are doing nowadays. Good luck.
about a year ago my close uncle died and everyone at the funeral was crying....everyone exept me that is,the same thing goes for when my grandad died. it hasnt really bothered me until now. is there somthing wrong with me? i knw death is supposed to be sad but whenever the subject comes up i dont really feel any emotion exept for just a very and i mean very minute drop of sadness.
I felt the same way when my great grandfather died. Everybody was so upset and crying and everything. I just sat through the funeral taking it all in. I don't remember crying at all. I had been really close to him too. He lived right down the road from me and would walk to my family's house all the time in the summer for breakfast and stuff. I think I took it so well because I had already accepted his death in my mind. He was old and I'd already thought about him dying.
When my uncle died, however, I bawled my eyes out and still do whenever I think about it. I wasn't significantly closer to him than I was to my great grandfather, but it was a very unexpected death. I'd never even thought about him not being around anymore.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that you're not the only one and that no, I don't think that there's anything wrong with you. It's just the way that you handle it. You're calm, cool, collected, and generally unaffected. I think that this is a positive thing. You understand death and have accepted the fact that people die. It allows you to get over things easily, but still cope with them.
In Mexico there's something called "The Day of the Dead". They celebrate death. People in Mexico aren't as affected by death as people in other countries because death is viewed so positively. In the United States (where I'm from and I imagine you are too) death is viewed as very negative and sad. In Mexico it's a party. You should look up The Day of the Dead when you have some free time, it's very interesting to read about. What I'm getting at here is that Mexicans accept and understand death before it creeps up on them. They celebrate it every year. There's not something wrong with all of them is there? It's just a different culture and way of thinking.
hi, has anyone on here ever gone from total unsatisfaction to loving their lives and not wanting to trade their memories for anything in the world?? what was it that made that change? new awesome friends? a bf/gf? some kind of amazing experience?
what changed your outlook on life?
That time for me was when someone I barely knew, in my time of need, treated me as more of a friend than any of my real "friends" ever had my whole life. Knowing that a person can care so much for another person that they know very little about made me realize that the world isn't such a bad place after all. It helped especially that he was a guy and he didn't have any underlying intentions to get with me. He was just doing it because he was that great of a person.
Less specifically, something that usually makes me feel that same way is religion. I know it probably sounds kind of cliche, but if you put a little time and positive thought into religion it can help immensely with the way you feel about the world and about your life. Prayer especially.
Many people take religion the wrong way. When they are having a hard time in life they tend to say to themselves "God doesn't love me or He wouldn't do this to me" or something of that nature depending on the religion and the circumstances of the problem. That is the WRONG way to think. Think positively. "God made all these things around me and I spend every day taking them and Him for granted. I should spend more time just appreciating the little things like how blue the sky is and how amazing kangaroos are, or that my computer, being made out of just metal and plastic, can do all the things it does. God can do all these amazing things and He cares enough about me to listen to my problems and help me out. He can also forgive me for abosolutely anything. All I have to do is ask. How cool is that." This website has a really great video on it that I used to, and sometimes still do watch when I get upset. http://www.fathersloveletter.com/fllpreviewlarge.html
If you're not religious or have different ideas about religion than I do, please don't get mad at me or attack something that I said via feedback. I'm not trying to make you religious or preach to you. You're free to believe what you want and I respect that. I'm just letting you know how much religion has helped me and could possibly help you.
One last thing that has helped me is music. Music is filled with so much feeling and emotion and can be a good outlet for your own feelings and emotions.
I hope that some part of what I said can help you feel more satisfied with your life. Good luck! :)
P.S. Boyfriends and girlfriends are WAY overrated. Sure having someone to care about is nice, but they're probably not going to be the kind of "amazing experience" that you are looking for. Plus, they're the source of most of the heartache in your life even if it does come with happiness too. Try concentrating on your own life instead of relying on a boyfriend/girlfriend for all your happiness. If one comes along and does give you that "amazing experience" great, but don't count on it or go looking for it.
Is facial hair on a 15/m attractive or is it showing that your a some kind of beast
I always thought that it looked either dirty or ridiculous. Almost like the guy was trying too hard to prove that he was manly. It looks good on some guys, but very few until you get to be about 18.
I'm not trying to discourage you from trying it though. Not in the least. I would actually encourage it if it's something that you want to try. Grow it out a little and ask your friends, male and female, what they think. They will likely be completely honest with you. If it turns out looking bad you can always just get rid of it. You've got nothing to lose! Experiment! Good luck. :)
I'm curious about the written part of the driver's test. The one when you get your permit and study the book, and when passing it you can legally drive with a parent or whatever.
Soo.. about the test. Here are the questions..
1) How long is it? (Approximate number would be excellent)
2)[From your opinion] Is it Easy, Moderate, or Hard?
3) How long did it take you?
4) What kind of questions were on the test? Were there any tricky unexpected ones, or purely common sense?
I'm curious because I am about to take it soon and I want to be prepared. Any response would be greatly appreciated. But write back ASAP -- I'm planning on taking the test this weekend (most likely.)
Thank you!!
P.S. - This probably applies to some [maybe all] states, so if you have noo idea what I am talking about don't bother giving advice.
And it would be GREAT if people from Ohio (where I live) answered since tests are different from different states. Other states are acceptable (Points won't be deducted from that) but I much prefer people who live in Ohio.
The test was super easy, especially with reading through the book beforehand. I believe that when I took it, it was 30 questions and it took about ten minutes. It's nothing to stress over at all. It's completely strightforward. No tricks. Nothing that wasn't in the book. I got one question wrong and it was a silly mistake. The question was about what you're supposed to do when you come to train tracks and the gates aren't down. I think I put that you're supposed to stop, which you obviously aren't. It's definitely normal and natural to worry like you are, but once you get the test, you'll wonder why you spent one second of your time worrying. It's that easy. Good luck! :)
How do you know if you're falling in love?
I know its supposed to be something you "just know" but honestly, .. how would I "just know?" Is it some sort of feeling?
I think everyone gets a little crazy when it comes to love. When I was falling in love I certainly had no idea. Sure I can look back and say that there were certain signs, but at the time, you really have no clue. Pretty much if you really like a person and the more you hear about them the more you want to hear, you are probably falling in love with them. That can come to a quick halt though, so what's more important than the falling in love, is when you actually are in love. I define this for myself as the time when I cant deny loving the person anymore - when I could not bring myself to say I might not be in love. At THAT point I knew. I hope I helped and good luck! :)
i know this is probably a dumb question, but I always wanted to know:: why is it against the law to rip the tags off of your mattresses?
It's against the law to rip it off unless you are the one that bought it. Sometimes the tags will say it's unlawful to remove the tag unless you are the "consumer" or "customer". Both of those are words meaning "the person that bought it" or got it as a gift from the person that bought it etc. I'm not sure why it's there, but my guess is that there have been problems in the past where wholesalers, retailers, and such have ripped off off the tags. I hope my answer wasn't too confusing and feel free to rip your tags off if you haven't already. :)
first let me give you some background information..
i have this friend (lets call him..steve). we were really good friends last year. we were going out for like 2 days but thats a whole other story. he was almost like a brother to me and we were really close. i still like him sorta but hes being really mean to me and my friend (lets call her..suzie). since we hadnt seen steve all summer me and suzie went to 3 of his football practices so we could talk to him. well that didnt work out cuz he never even glanced at us when we yelled his name (this was after practice was over). we decided to give up after the third practice. then we saw him at the street fair and were kinda following him for a little to see if he noticed we were there and we thought he would come talk to us. nope. so a couple weeks later he gets online. heres the convorsation..
ME-hey
Steve-hey
me-did you see me and suzie at your football practices?
steve-oh yeah
me-why didnt you come talk to us?
steve-i didnt want to
me-oh thanks
me-anyway..are you in the gifted classes this year?
him- i dont know
me-how can you not know?
him-i dont really care
him-i dont know how to say this but cant you and suzie leave me alone?
steve signs off
i was so sad when that happened i didnt know what to do. i told suzie the story and she was like "what a deusch bag!" we thought well what if he means leave him alone forever?? like hes too good for us now that hes on the football team. im hoping thats not what he meant. school starts tomorrow and me and suzie decided to give him some space for a few days. im really sad about the whole situation cuz i still like him and last year we were really close and i could trust him with stuff. im thinking maybe its time to move on..i mean not like him like him anymore. but now im thinking hes not a very good friend anymore. looking back, we prolly couldve given him more space then we did last year. im not really sure what to think of the whole situation.
what do you guys think? what should me and suzie do??
Sounds to me like you and Suzie embarassed him. His team probably picked on him or something for you two randomly showing up. I could be wrong, but in any case, I wouldn't look too much into the situation. Girls tend to overthink things when guys don't think things through much at all. There's no meaning behind any of what was said or done. I know that's hard to imagine, but it's true. Just try to relax and stop thinking about it. If he wants you to leave him alone, just leave him alone for awhile. It's ok to say "hi" when you see him, but avoid conversations until he starts one himself. I definitely understand why you are so sad and confused though. When I read what he said to you at the end, it made ME sad. Boys can do that to you. Just try to brush it off. I hope that I helped you and good luck. :)
well my ex, who was my first kiss, and first boyfriend, and first real love.. we went out for 4 1/2 months... which isnt really that long, but it was the most wonderfull time of my life.... well we broke up and that was about 6 months ago, but i still like him, but my BEST friend likes him and he likes her... yes my BEST friend.. and they are probably going to go out..... i just want to know how to be ok with it, and how to finally let my first love go??
any advise will help right now
tthanx
Not knowing the circumstances of the breakup makes answering this question difficult. It would help if you added that information in. From what you've given though, I can tell you this: a lot of people don't ever completely get over people that they loved. As dismal as that makes the future sound,
it's meant to cheer you up. You're not alone. Not even close. Sometimes it's nice to know that so many other people go through the exact same thing that you are going through.
There is something that you can do to help yourself out a little in your particular situation. Talk to your best friend about everything. You're best friends after all right? It may be hard to get the conversation started, but if you let her know what you're feeling (in a nonconfrontational way) it'll either persuade her not to date your ex, or it will make you feel better. How will it make you feel better? Well, you'll get a better understanding for her side of the story and things might make a little more sense.
My guess is that you're young, meaning still in middle or high school. After both of you get everything out, try talking your friend out of dating your ex if she hasn't already decided so. Tell her that it would put a strain on your friendship. Friends will always be there for you and are, in most cases, more important than any relationship you can ever have. Who is going to be there for her when her relationships go bad? You. Very few middle to high school relationships last. Ask her if it's worth it to mess up your friendship for some guy that's just going to break her heart anyway. If it really was meant to be and not just a passing fling, they can get together a little later in life once you've come to terms with your own breakup with him. It would be the respectful, nice, and right thing to do for you and your friendship.
If she gets defensive or angry just end the conversation. She'll at least think about what you had to say and will make her own decision anyway. Just make sure that you stay calm and don't accuse her of anything. It should go smoothly and if it doesn't, then just hold onto the fact that if she does date them they're going to break up anyways. You can have a little laugh to yourself when they do. If it gets way too stressful for you, and you find it hard to take it with humor or a carefree attitude, maybe it's time to end your frienship with her. She needs to be there for you when you need her and right now, she really isn't.
I hope I helped you in some way and good luck. I hope that everything turns out well for you. :)
so, does being sexually active, in a doctor's opinion (like they ask you when you go), specially mean HAVING SEX, or does it mean having any kind of sex (ex. manual or oral)?
My doctor told me that the question is referring to any kind of sexual activity. It's always good to specify which kind too. :)
My hair is natuarally straight, and thick. shoulder length. how can i make it wavy sometimes?
Let your hair partially dry in a braid after you shower. It may do the trick, but it won't work for all types of hair. It's worth a try though because, well, it's easy and it's free! Curling irons and hair products and such never worked for me. Anyways, I hope it works for you and good luck!
My Boyfriend tells me I'm not coming onto him strong enough and says that I need to put my hand on him when he's "hard on." I hardly know what that means...and i dont know what to do when my hand is there. What do i do when he gets like that and I put my hand on him?
Okay, I'm going to give your boyfriend the benefit of the doubt here. He's not necessarily using you and just because he asked you to touch him doesn't mean you should break up with him. It's not like he forced you to do anything. All he's doing is giving you hints as to how you satisfy him more, which is a good thing in a relationship.
If this is something that you don't want to do, tell your boyfriend. Let him know how you feel and why, and don't do it. Pretty simple.
If this is something that you want to do, have him talk you through it. Have him explain things to you, not just tell you what to do. You don't have any experience yet and he needs to teach you some things. Ask him what he means and have him show you what he wants by doing it himself if you don't know what he's talking about. After he explains something to you, if you are not comfortable with doing it or become uncomfortable while doing it, don't do it, just stop.
It's may be a little awkward, but you'll know the difference between uncomfortable and awkward. If you become uncomfortable, talk to him about it some more, make sure he knows your feelings about it and don't continue doing it.
Very few people just jump right in and know exactly what's going on. You have little experience with this sort of thing and if your boyfriend is not willing to help you through it, he isn't right for you at this point in your life.
I wish you luck and remember never to do something that makes you uncomfortable. Your boyfriend isn't doing anything wrong unless he forces you to do something or ignores your feelings and continues to ask you to do something that makes you feel uncomfortable. That's when you drop him. Not now before you've even talked through things with him.
does anyone know if it is illeagal for a 17yr old to date anyone younger than 17 without their parents consent in new york state???
thanx a bunch
Dating isn't illegal in any way shape or form. Sexual acts are illegal between someone over 18 and someone under 18. It's called statutory rape. Here's an article about it.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Statutory_rape
Basically, the reason for the law is that someone who is legally a minor may do something sexual with someone who is legally an adult if asked because since that person is an adult they feel like they have to. The minor isn't believed to be able to give rational consent in such a situation so even if they do say "yes" and know exactly what they are doing, it's still legally considered rape.
Most people, especially in your situation, disregard the law and many have no problems with it. There are some very large risks for you in doing this, however, and I higly advise you not to break the law. If your partner's parents find out that you two are being sexually intimate with each other they can turn you in. If you break up with your partner and they want to get back at you for something, they can turn you in too.
No matter how much you think you know your partner or their parents, nobody wants to have "sex offender" in their records. Under the circumstances your initial punishment wouldn't be too harsh, but the long term effects of it could be quite catastrophic for you. Just wait until your partner is 18 too. If they are a few years younger it may seem tough, but it is not worth the risk. It's not like you can't be intimate all. Breaking the law is never a good thing no matter how silly the law may seem to you and it's not that difficult to practice abstinance.
Of course this won't apply to you until next year, but it's always good to know what the future may hold. Good luck!
I'm entering my school's talent show. It's coming up very soon. I'm gonna to sing. I'd prefer to do a country song sung by a female. I play guitar if that helps. Please give suggestions =)
Thanks so much in advanced!
Sara Evans has some great songs that you could sing. "Born to Fly", "Perfect", "A Real Fine Place to Start", "Suds In The Bucket" and "I Could Not Ask For More" are a few that I would suggest. "I Could Not Ask For More" was originally sung by Edwin McCain I believe. It's a great song and I think that would be the one I would choose. Even if you're not a fan of country, you'll probably know it, which is good for a talent show. "How Far" by Martina McBride would also be a good song. Kellie Pickler sang it on American Idol, if you keep up with that. I wish you the best of luck and no matter what song you pick, I'm sure that you'll do well. :)
im 14/f
ok so i had sex with my boyfriend like last week and some days ago we were both virgins so we had sex we used a condom and we did it like for 8 fast seconds without one then we stoped for good
he said he dident cum but i been having to pee alot and im not sure why he promised me he dident cum he said it took him a while to cuase he went in the bathroom to do so
my friend told me i might have to pee alot becuase my body is dehydrated cuase i got a cold sore after i had sex and she said you can get it from lack of water drinking and you get sick she said it happened to her too she would pee every thirty minutes
and that i agree i never ever drink water it all started when my mom brought can soda\'s i went crazy
im not sure oh i havent got my period but im only one day late and sometimes my period dosent come exactly on a date
but im freakin my self out im becoming paranoid my boyfriend told me he dident cum and that hes 110% sure he dident im not sure as to wut to think we used a condom the whole time except the one 8 seconds things wut should i do?
Sex without a condom is always dangerous. Whether it be for 8 seconds, 1 second, or 2 hours. Never ever do it again. Teenage boys don't have that much control over themselves no matter what they say. You can get pregnant from pre-ejaculatory fluid (precum) and he very well could have ejaculated without knowing. There is also a large risk of getting an STD when you don't use a condom. Your boyfriend could very well have an STD and not know about it.
Since you got your period it's VERY unlikely that you are pregnant. If you are really worried about it, take a home pregnancy test in a week. It will not give accurate results until 2 weeks after you had sex.
Your need to urinate could be the result of having sex or your period. Don't worry about what you drink, just do what you normally would without changing anything. If it doesn't go away in a few days, gets worse, or starts to hurt, it would be a very good idea to see a doctor.
Having sex comes with many consequences and responsibilities. Do not disregard them or you could end up in big trouble. Too embarassed to ask your parents to take you to the doctor? Well, you should have thought about that before having sex, especially unprotected. It's always better to be embarassed than to risk your health. Good luck.
Ok,well today,i took a bath,shampoo'd and conditioned my hair,then put this serum that stops split ends.but recently (every once in a while) i've noticed my hair has been falling out.a couple of mintues ago,after my hair was dry (by the air) i put it to the side and combed through it with my fingers.i got about 10 strands of hair! i was so scared!!! my sister's hair fell out,but thats probably only because she dyed it so much.no one else in this family has had this happen!should i worry and go to the doctor,or is this normal?!
What is happening to you may seem like a problem to some people, but to others it is completely normal. This is because some people have hair that falls out all the time and some don't. I am one of the ones who loses hair constantly. It scares me how much my hair comes out sometimes. 10 stands seems like nothing to me. The thing is, my hair has been falling out like that for years and years, but I still have a ton of it on my head. It's thick, strong, and healthy. Unless your hair starts to majorly thin out or you start getting bald spots, this is nothing to worry about at all. It's just annoying. Good luck! :)