My Boyfriend tells me I'm not coming onto him strong enough and says that I need to put my hand on him when he's "hard on." I hardly know what that means...and i dont know what to do when my hand is there. What do i do when he gets like that and I put my hand on him?
sizzlinmandolin answered Tuesday May 9 2006, 4:59 pm: Okay, I'm going to give your boyfriend the benefit of the doubt here. He's not necessarily using you and just because he asked you to touch him doesn't mean you should break up with him. It's not like he forced you to do anything. All he's doing is giving you hints as to how you satisfy him more, which is a good thing in a relationship.
If this is something that you don't want to do, tell your boyfriend. Let him know how you feel and why, and don't do it. Pretty simple.
If this is something that you want to do, have him talk you through it. Have him explain things to you, not just tell you what to do. You don't have any experience yet and he needs to teach you some things. Ask him what he means and have him show you what he wants by doing it himself if you don't know what he's talking about. After he explains something to you, if you are not comfortable with doing it or become uncomfortable while doing it, don't do it, just stop.
It's may be a little awkward, but you'll know the difference between uncomfortable and awkward. If you become uncomfortable, talk to him about it some more, make sure he knows your feelings about it and don't continue doing it.
Very few people just jump right in and know exactly what's going on. You have little experience with this sort of thing and if your boyfriend is not willing to help you through it, he isn't right for you at this point in your life.
I wish you luck and remember never to do something that makes you uncomfortable. Your boyfriend isn't doing anything wrong unless he forces you to do something or ignores your feelings and continues to ask you to do something that makes you feel uncomfortable. That's when you drop him. Not now before you've even talked through things with him. [ sizzlinmandolin's advice column | Ask sizzlinmandolin A Question ]
Alpha345 answered Tuesday May 9 2006, 4:40 pm: While I normally wouldn't answer this because it has been answered before, I felt the need to answer that one.
To reinforce the point. If you don't even know what a "hard on" is or what to do during that..."time" with your boyfriend, then you have absolutley NO business doing what your doing.
And most likely, if he is asking you to do that and you have no clue what he is talking about, he is just using you. My advice would to be get rid of him before you go any deeper.
Or at the very least, stop having that kind of contact with him.
TheOldOne answered Tuesday May 9 2006, 8:31 am: If you don't know, you're almost certainly not ready to get that sexually active. And your boyfriend shouldn't be giving you orders about that sort of thing, anyway. You're not his slave, or a robot!
Please take my advice: don't ever let ANYONE make you do something that you're uncomfortable with. And if you're not sure what's going on, STOP.
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