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Orientation vs. Friendship
the problem is Im BI well atleast I think I am I rather want guys but I wouldnt mine experiencing.. Im 14 so maybe its just a phase. Well I made out with my friends b4 but I was just teaching her how cause she was going to the movies with her boyfriends, but I want to finger her or eat her out.. WE both always make fun of gay people like who we think is gay and all so I know she is straight but should I tell her that I am Bi? im afriad it will ruinin our friendship. she is my best friends sence the age of 7 so almost 8 years.. what should I do
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first of all, being bi isn't a probelm, haha. i'm bi, and there's nothing wrong with liking both girls and guys hun:P.
making fun of gay people..is normal in my opinion. everyone does it. i know gay people who make fun of gay people..it's just the way the world works.
i had this problem with my best friend, since i was 4(im 16 now)..i don't like her, but i liked another girl. at first, i asked her if being bi or lesbian would ever change our relationship. she told me it wouldn't because she loves me no matter what. and i think that's what a TRUE TRUE TRUE friend is. they will love you no matter what you do. if she hates you JUST because you're bi..thats not a true friend in my opinion. and friends come and go right? i've had tons of bestfriends throughout my life. so do what i did, just come out and tell her. i mean yeah you might not be friends anymore..but think of it like this. one bad thing..could eventually turn into good things, and your expierences throughout life will make you the person you are to become. so just go for it girl!! good luck!!
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First, you can't know that your friend is straight just because she makes fun of gay people. You make fun of gay people too don't you? Maybe she is playing along just like you. Maybe she's not. My point is, you can't ever know another person's sexuality. Even if they tell you. They could be lying or not even know for sure themselves.
If you want to tell her, I would start first by testing the waters a little. Initiate a serious conversation about bisexuality.
If you have a hard time with that sort of thing, some of my personal beliefs on the subject may be able to help you out a little in coming up with something to say. If you don't agree with me, obviously don't say any of these things, but if you do, feel free to use them.
I, personally, feel that sexuality is almost entirely in your mind. There's nothing that makes people straight or gay, but their own thoughts, feelings, experiences, and prejudices. Kissing a guy is going to feel the same as kissing a girl. Liking guys or liking girls is the same as liking people with blonde hair or green eyes. Obviously you prefer certain traits. I happen to like people with dark hair. So, some people may prefer guys and some girls. Gender is only different from other traits because there are deep social factors involved. People saying and believing that liking someone of the same sex is "wrong" is what I mean by that. Nobody's going to say that it's wrong to like someone that's tall. Then there's the fact that you can't have kids with someone of the same sex, so most families are based around heterosexuality. When you date people, you're looking for someone to spend your life with and have a family. It's all about culture, values, morals, and acceptance.
If she takes the conversation well, tell her that you are thinking about your own sexuality and you believe that you might be bisexual.
Since you are only 14, your friend probably won't get, or at least want to accept anything you say. She'll be completely confused and/or disgusted. As soon as you get the feeling that she is - end the conversation. Make a joke, say you're kidding, whatever.
I don't think that you should say anything. Unless she seems to be a very accepting, understanding, liberal person, save it for now. It is good that you want your friend to know, but at the age that you are, unless I was sure she'd understand and still accept me, there's no need or point in her knowing. You can always tell her later in life, when she's more mature mentally and will probably be able to handle it better. Friendships are important and you don't want to lose one over pure immaturity. If you tell her when you're older, say 20, and she can't accept it, I'm sorry, but it would probably be best to end the friendship.
I wish you the best of luck and if you have any questions, problems with what I said, or anything else, let me know. :)
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You are still young and your hormones could be causing you to be "curious" with the same sex. I wouldnt tell her yet because you could wake up tomorow wanting to be straight again and then it would take a lot to prove that you're straight and your friend will be very confused. I would wait atleast a year because your at the age where some girls and guys think they are gay or bi and find out it was just a phase. So wait it out, and find out whether you really are bi or if its a stage and then tell your friend. You could be Bi, its possible but find out for sure before you tell people. ♥
Edit...... Theres no certain time limit to wait just wait until you are sure your bi.
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hey there. i think your very young at 14 to decide for sure.also you say you think so it could be a phase. but i think if youv been friends for such a long time and she is a real friend if you decided to tell her she would stick by you. only tell her when your 100% ready becasue i understand it will be hard for you. just explain to her how you feel and it should be ok. hope it helps xx
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You should only tell if you feel like you're ready. Your sexuality is something that's very personal. Just because you like her, you shouldn't feel the need to tell her so; I mean, if you liked a guy, you wouldn't go up to him and say, "I'm straight." would you?
Just ask yourself if you're ready for someone to know something so important. If you feel even a little wrong about it, you shouldn't tell her, though. It's eaiser to change a 'no' to a 'yes' than it is to change a 'yes' to a 'no.'
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If I were you, I would tell her. I'm bi, and my friends were always making fun of gay people and everything. When I told my best friend, that I've only known for 3 years, she took it fine. So, just tell her the truth because if you keep it inside then it will definately ruin your friendship. Hope I helped!
Eden, Xx_Seether_Addict_xX
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