|
SEXY back
Ok my boyfriend and I have been together for a year now. I don't think that our relationship is sex based but sometimes it does seem like it. Everytime I go to his house we end up having sex. And he tells me that it is part of the relationship. Now don't get me wrong. I want it as much as he wants it. And we both try to hold ourselves back but it obviously isn't working to well.I just don't know how to avoid it other than just avoiding him as well.We both love each other very much and we promised to marry each other after college. And we already have promise rings. Please help me. I don't want this to just be a sex based relationship. But how can i avoid it and IS this a sex based realationship??
I would love any advice good or bad.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions?
first off, i highly doubt you want it as much as he does, because if you did then you wouldnt have had time to write this question because of all the sex youd be having. secondly, just because you have a lot of sex, that doesnt mean that your relationship is sex based, but, why not talk to him about it? say you want to hold off on sex for a little while and just get to know each other better. to help make the month better, you can always still allow oral sex.
]
What does sex based really mean? Does it mean that the main or only reason two people are together is for the sex? A definate way to find out whether or not your relationship meets that definition would be to stop having sex. This requires a decision of at least one of you, and we both know it won't be him! If it is important to you to know that you two have a real future together and are not just fooling around, I would consider abstaining. For how long is up to you, and only you will be able to know in your heart what the relationship means to you. The difficulty is in stopping something that is so much fun! However, it is a great test to find out how serious you both are, and if both of you can develop self-control, and remain honest and faithful. You do want to know these things for certain before becoming engaged to anyone. Be very upfront with him beforehand and discuss it and all your feelings about sex, the future and the relationship. If you cannot have this discussion or he is not willing to listen or try this for you, then maybe he is not who you thought.
Sexuality is a big and enjoyable part of being human. Sex can be an indicator of what is going on outside the bedroom. Lots of sex could mean you are both a healthy loving couple in other aspects of the relationship, and you bring that enthusiasm into the bedroom. Unfortunately, it could also mean that you lack anything else to do together that would be as enjoyable. I hope for you both that it is the former and not the latter, but the most important thing is for both of you to know for yourselves.
]
you'll be able to tell if you hold off from sex one of the times you go over there. if he gets pissed off that you dont want to fool around than obviously he is expecting too much, because as much as you love eachother, and when you get married, you're not going to feel like having sex every single night. if you're tired or something you dont want to get in silly fights over that.
however if you do refrain from sex for a night and he seems fine with it than you can guess that wants more than that. do other things to remind you of when you first started going out, and when a kiss was all you needed to make you smile for the rest of the night.
now i sound like a poet or something lol..but i do hope it works out!
:)
]
If you can enjoy yourselves in other ways, then I don't see as there's a problem. Make a mental list of what else you enjoy doing together and stuff that you have in common; if there are a lot of things on it, then you don't have a sex-based relationship, just a relationship where you have a lot of sex.
Or try this: pretend that one of you was told by a doctor that you couldn't have sex for a year. Do you think the relationship would survive? If you can honestly say "yes", then you're safe; if the answer is no, then you might want to rethink the priorities.
]
hey. well i think wether its a sex based rship depends on wether or not you guys have conversations or not? i mean once your done having sex do you leave(or does he leave) or do you guys have conversations and go out? because if you do then id say it was a normal teen relationship. and i think what you could do is like have a sex ban. for say 2days or something and see how it goes. also i think you could like try doing something else when you together try cooking or something. but i also think that its just natural to be the way you are and soon enough youll fine other things to do toghether. theres nothing wrong with your relationship as long as you keep it healthy by talking and ging out. hope i helped xx
]
More Questions: |