That is an interesting topic for an essay. I cannot outline everything for you, but I can give you some suggestions that might help you. Try to brainstorm reasons why shoplifting is a bad idea- jot down reasons on a piece of paper, and then go through your list any narrow it down to a few really important things you can write about. For each of those reasons, write down maybe a couple of points/examples that help to strengthen your argument. For example, if you were to write that shoplifting is bad because it is against the law, you could give a couple of consequences, such as prison time, lawyer fees, bail, etc. Think of some important reasons- legal, moral, etc.., and ellaborate on those.

As for how you can make better decisions, that is a hard one.. try to think of some things yourself, ie.: what could you do instead of shoplifting, how you'd be a better person/citizen by not shoplifting, etc.. I think a good way to organize your essay would be to start of with an introduction that briefly introduces why shoplifting is a bad idea (without going into too much detail) and just briefly mention that avoiding shoplifting is the better and more moral option (or something like that). You could divide your essay by writing maybe a couple paragraphs (the body) on the negative aspects of shoplifting, and the last body paragraph should discuss how to make better decisions. Your conclusion should very briefly tie together whatever you mention in your essay- rather than introducing new ideas, it should only restate and reinforce what has already been said.

Before starting, it would be a really good idea to make a brief outline of your essay- it helps organize your thoughts so you can write a coherent essay. You can organize according to paragraph (ie., intro, paragraph 1, 2., etc., conclusion), and for each section, make bullet points (main ideas) and sub-points, or examples you will use to strengthen each bullet point (main point). While writing, keep in mind to have good flow (ideas should follow each other logically and sort of blend into each other), and to have enough supporting information to strengthen your essay.

Good luck, and let me know if you have any questions.

I also had a friend like that a while back- she would say rude, sarcastic remarks all the time, indirectly put me down, etc., I thought that was "just how she is," but I learned that she was getting away with being that way because I let her. My mom and sister mentioned they didn't like the way she talked to me- she even talked sarcastically, in a "yeah, no shit" kind of way to my sister, who told me she doesn't like the way she talked to her. I hardly saw her at the time since i was away for college, but when I did see her (that is, when she didn't flake on me), it was always the same. Long story short, I finally came to the realization that I was better off without her- she was just not a good friend (always flaking, making excuses, being rude and sarcastic, etc.).

All of these behaviors, including those of your friend (or rather, "friend"), stem from a deeply rooted insecurity. It's a call for attention; a way of bringing herself up by putting others down. You know it's a problem when you can sense a pattern; you aren't the only one she puts down. Bottom line, there are no excuses for a friend to mistreat another friend. My best friend is a therapist, and she mentioned something that one of her old professors told the class: (something along the lines of: bad friends can be extremely draining, and put a lot of stress on you.- and that ultimately, you're better off cutting out the bad people in your life, if they are totally unwilling to change).

You mentioned that you aren't sure if she's joking or not- putting people down is not a joke, whether she claims to be joking or not. You should have a good talk with her, and tell her upfront that you feel she is putting you down a lot, and that it really bothers and hurts you. See if she is totally stressed out or is going through something very painful that could be causing her to be on edge lately. Maybe she needs someone to talk to. But even then, she should not be treating you this way. You need to make it clear to her that it hurts your feelings, and is not something you are willing to put up with. She might deny it, because sometimes people don't fully realize how hurtful they can be. You still need to firmly (without yelling) address this- otherwise, she will continue with her ways. If she doesn't take it to heart, and continuously puts you down, then you really should re-evaluate the friendship. It isn't worth it for you to feel miserable and put down due to someone else's insecurities. Trust me, I have had a few negative, insecure friends in the past, and have learned that A) they are insecure, and B) i would have to be strong and not put up with their crap. You are young enough where it's understandable for you to be going through these things, but old enough to really take a stand for yourself.

You just have to be patient with her. If she isn't really responding to sex, she is not ready yet. You two have only been dating a few months- she seems like she needs to really get to know you and feel totally comfortable before she takes things further. Of course she felt upset when you told her you would just watch porn and masturbate, since she isn't having sex with you. There is nothing wrong with doing that, but she was right to be bothered when you told her - basically, the message she got from it was that you are not being patient with her.

It is okay to bring these things up with her- it is important. But there is a certain way to go about it. You have to be patient and supportive of her choice- and if you cannot possibly wait, then be honest with yourself, and see if she is really the one you want. If she is, you will have to wait. If not, then maybe you need to move on. Only you know the answer.

Do you guys do other things? Make out? If you guys aren't doing ANYTHING, she might have intimacy issues. You should be honest with her (and also very nice), and ask her if there is any reason why she does not physically take things further- communication is the key to any healthy relationship. You are sexually frustrated, and she may or may not have her own personal issues....the only way to clear things up with her is to talk to her.

You might be over-cleaning your hair. What you described can happen to your hair if you wash it every day- every other day is enough. Also, If your hair looks dull and lifeless, it is probably damaged due to over cleansing, product buildup, hard water buildup, etc., The shampoos you are using are not very good for your hair in the long run, so it might be doing more harm than good. It's very common for damage to the hair to become apparent after months. This might also be due to lack of nutrients..that I can't say for sure. You should take a multivitamin and maybe even a fish oil capsule daily- these, along with a healthy diet and exercise, can help in maintaining the health of your hair. You might also be due for a haircut or trim- you should get a trim every 2-3 months to keep hair healthy.

Overall though, I would recommend sticking to a good shampoo- not HE or Pantene. Try using a natural shampoo, which is free of some damaging chemicals. Or maybe use Neutrogena Clean Shampoo (either moisturizing one, or volumizing- there are two kinds). Those are very good, as are Paul Mitchell products. Just remember, do not over-cleanse your hair, eat right and exercise, use good hair products. If after a while you feel like none of these things help, then maybe talk to a dermatologist, who can recommend some good products for your hair/scalp. Even an internet search can help.

If he starts talking about his dad, how he misses him, etc., it would be a good idea to tell him that you are always there to listen and support him- and that you are very sorry for what happened. You never really get over the death of a parent, especially if it happens when you are young. Because of that, it is difficult for your boyfriend to bring it up; it simply hurts too much to talk about it. Still, it would help him to open up to you about it- it would really help him to have someone to lean on.

At the same time, it isn't really a good idea to bring it up if he isn't really ready to talk about it. He has to be willing to open up- my guess is that it's just a matter of time before he does. Again, what you can do is wait till he brings up his father, and then let him know you are always there to listen to and support him. At that point, asking something like, "would you mind if i asked what happened to him?", would not be rude, especially if you bring it up gently and politely.

Just like the columnist below mentioned, Plan B can seriously mess with your cycle- it's like taking a super high dose of birth control. Chances are, your period is off, and might be for a little while. It wouldn't hurt to wait another week and get a pregnancy test, just to be sure, as plan B is not 100% effective, more like 95% or so...you can never be too sure though. Don't only take a home pregnancy test- go see a gyno., or go to a planned parenthood clinic for a urine test. It's very stressful to think that there is even a slight chance of being pregnant- chances are you aren't, but if even just to ease your mind, go get tested.

I know how much you want to help- it only makes you a good friend to him. But as concerned as you are about his well-being, you cannot push him to do anything; he is the one who needs to make a conscious decision to change, and then do something about it. What you can do, however, is express your concern and worry. Adults, no matter how wrong and troubled they may be, do not want to hear other people tell them what to do or not to do. What he needs is your support. I recommend setting up a time to meet with him, whenever/wherever he wants, so you can let him know how you feel. Just tell him that you understand how hard things must be for him, having to deal with so much at one time...but that it concerns you that he is smoking a lot of weed to deal with his pain. Although weed temporarily dulls emotional pain, it cannot erase what is already done. He needs to understand that he needs to confront what is hurting him in life, instead of ignoring it. You can be a great source of comfort and support for him, if he is willing to talk to you and open up. He will be a lot more likely to turn his life around if he confronts what is bothering him- he can start off by talking to you. If he is completely unwilling to talk to you, however, you can always just make plans with him, without telling him upfront that you need to talk to him (going out for fun, etc.)- -then when the time is right, you can let him know how you feel. Hope it all works for the best.

If I understand correctly, you were only nine years old when you first had sex. Nine. And knowing that nine year-old boys do not have erections, how old was the guy?? Not only is that morally wrong on so many levels- you were still a kid, it's illegal, you (and every other nine-year old) could NOT have possibly been ready for it AT ALL. I am still shocked that I read about a nine year-old having sex.

You are 15 now, and even THAT is too young for many, if not most, teenagers. Sure, teens now are having sex like it's shaking hands, but that does not mean that they're ready. Nope, not even a bit- at least not for the majority. You need to focus on growing up and experiencing life rather than dwelling on when you should be having sex. You can when you are emotionally ready for it. And sorry to break it to you, your question basically implies to me that you are not emotionally mature enough to deal with the risks and responsibilities of having sex.

Please, if you must, talk to a school counselor or trusted adult about this. Don't be pressured into doing things (including sex) that "everyone else" is doing. Just because other kids are doing it does not mean it's okay at that age. And to add, if the experience of having sex at NINE had a negative impact on you emotionally (I will assume it has), talk to a counselor about it. Be safe, and just be a 15 year-old. You are not an adult, so do not try making adult decisions just yet.

I agree with the answer below- popular guys (jocks, pretty boys, etc.) are definitely as (if not more) self-conscious than the rest, but are better at hiding it. They exude this arrogance that makes them appear confident. I cannot say this of all the jocks/pretty boys/popular guys, but I can say that many of them embody these traits.

The reason why so many of these guys APPEAR to have too much confidence, and have such an inflated ego, is that people around them (friends, popular girls/guys, etc.) feed their ego. By making a big deal out of who they are (popular), how they look, what they do, who they date/have dated, etc., people inadvertently make guys like that more and more arrogant overtime. Certain guys are just predisposed to being arrogant, and when people go ga-ga over them for one reason or another, it only fuels the arrogance.

As for why they are so good at wooing every girl...well, I don't know if I can give you a definitive answer (there are probably many). I can say though, that a lot of arrogant guys think they know what girls want and/or want to hear, and they just become better and better at fooling certain girls into thinking that they are in love with them, when all they really want is one thing. Afterall, trying to fool people is an arrogant thing to do. But, as the previous columnist mentioned, guys at that age are pretty much predisposed to wanting sex ALL the time, so I would say that to a certain extent, you might find this wooing thing to be common among a lot of teenage guys. Decent guys do not constantly woo girls to get inside their pants- but arrogant guys tend to do so. Think of it this way: wooing is fooling, and fooling someone is an arrogant act. Arrogant boys do arrogant things.

You have probably gotten used to your usual sleep schedule (11 or 12), and for that reason, your body and mind are still alert anytime earlier than that. You may or may not have insomnia- try gradually changing your sleeping schedule/nighttime habits, and see if it improves overtime. If not, it might be a good idea to discuss this with your doctor.

It is never easy to shift your usual sleeping time, especially to an earlier hour. Try asking yourself what kind of activities you engage in around the time you are about to fall asleep- anything that keeps your mind going, even just playing around online, will keep your mind alert, which will keep you awake. Stress can also play a big role- if you are stressed out about something (or combination of things),...school, friends, family life, etc., it can be difficult to fall asleep.

Try some of these tips, and gradually see if you can fall asleep quicker in time:

-Do something relaxing for at least half an hour before you want to go to bed- this means no studying, reading, using the internet, etc.- . You could try watching a funny show or movie (nothing scary, thrilling, sad, etc.) for about an hour before bedtime, till you feel tired enough to sleep. You could also listen to some relaxing music, if you like.

-When you have trouble falling asleep, take a hot bath before bed once in a while.

-Do not lie in bed tossing and turning, stressing out about how you cannot fall asleep. Get up and leave your bedroom, and do something relaxing, like watching tv or listening to calm music.

- Do not take sleeping pills, whatever you do. They are not good for your system, you could become dependent, you might wake up feeling even more groggy, etc.

-Set a sleeping schedule, and try your best to stick with it. Try gradually going to bed at a reasonable hour, and get up on time. Stick to this schedule until your body adjusts. Try not to sleep in too much, because then you will be more tired, and will be unable to go to bed on time that night.

If these things have no effect on you at all within a reasonable amount of time (2 weeks to a month), you could consult with your doctor.

She clearly has a problem- she resents you out of nothing other than jealousy. For whatever reason, she tries to insult you, because she is trying to make herself feel better in some deluded way. She could be jealous of your relationship with your brother- she might want him all to herself, and anyone (short of a mother) who gets in the way is subject to her crude behavior.

I hope you realize that her comments have nothing to do with you. She resents you because you are an important woman in her husband's life- and because of her insecurity, she wants to be the ONLY woman in his life. Since she cannot possibly say that to you, or show you how she really feels, she uses these rude remarks as a way of letting out some of her jealousy. She might even be using these remarks as a way of getting you to be so fed up that you might not want to see her and your brother very often- she might be trying to drive you away; that is a possibility.

If you bring this up to your brother, he might shrug if off, but then again, even he admitted that she was a snob in high school; some things never change. You will have to calmly, but firmly, explain her behavior to him. Suggest that he VERY casually bring you up in some way, like complementing you to his wife, or saying something positive- if she sees how highly he thinks of you, she MIGHT feel guilty about saying things to you, and eventually stop doing it so much. But, that might not be the only answer. You might just have to continue going along with it, for your brother's sake. If it gets to the boiling point, you should definitely bring it up to your brother--if anything, just to bring the issue to his attention.

If she said she would call, she will either call you later (or had already, by now), or simply forgot to call you back. It happens. When you keep worrying about something, you are consumed in your thoughts (i.e., what if....?), and are unable to think clearly. In order to clear your mind of these thoughts, you have to stop worrying.

Now focus on what went well in the interview- afterall, your initial thought was that the manager had a favorable impression of you. You did what you could to prove yourself; you did your part. She is either going to hire you based on that, or not- if she has found someone else. Simply put, there are only two scenarios: either you get the job or you don't. If you do, great. If you don't- then understand that it was not under your control. You did what you could, and now it's up to the manager to make the final decision.

And going back to the drug test- to begin, you already know that it has to come back negative, so there is no reason for you to be worried. If she does not contact you about the job (and not the drug test) within a reasonable amount of time (2-3 days or so, depending), you could give her a call to ask about the position. But do not mention the drug test- asking about it might make you appear to be hiding something (imagine asking, " i am calling about the results of my drug test;" it would make you sound a little worried, which is never a good thing).
My guess (and not a definitive prediction) is that she might need little time to figure out who to hire, and that you should find out whether or not you got the position pretty soon (depending on how many people interviewed for the job). Don't worry- just wait things out a little.

Life is a risk. If you never take chances, you will not experience what life has to offer, meaningful relationships included. Part of any new experience is not knowing what will happen next. You have to understand that as likely as it is for things to go downhill, there is an equal chance of things actually going well. If anything, by allowing yourself to experience what life throws at you- relationships, school/work opportunities, travel, etc., or even trying something new at a restaurant or going to a an unknown band's concert, you will learn something. You may or may not learn some things the 'hard' way, but you WILL learn.

The reason you are closing yourself off or building a wall around yourself, is that in some way, you are afraid of getting hurt. Not allowing people to get close to you is a way of protecting yourself. But think of all the chances at friendship and love you might actually be missing out on by not opening yourself up to people. When people get closer to you, you back off and start becoming defensive, because deep down, you do not want them to get to a certain level with you- that might give them a ticket to hurt you in some way. If you look at relationships that way, how can you ever really get close to people?

Instead, be cautious, but not defensive. When you meet new people, you do not have to open yourself up 100%- people should have to earn your trust. BUT, they should not have to go through nearly impossible lengths to do it. Slowly allow yourself to open up to people, even though doing so is not within your comfort zone. When you have a feeling that you are with good people who you feel happy with, then you have no reason to back off or act defensive. You say that you want to "be more open, but that an open heart can allow pain and hurt to get inside." But you know what? An open heart can also allow happiness, love, joy, experience, and LIFE to get inside.

Take it easy- you are still very young; young enough where it is more than okay to be inexperienced with a lot of things. I know how much pressure there is on young people to do things within a specific time-frame (first kiss, first bf/gf, sex, etc., by certain ages). The truth is, there is no "right" time to experience a first anything- the only right time is whenever YOU are ready.

Do not think that there is anything wrong with you, or there is any reason why you have not had a girlfriend yet. A lot of girls at that age are insecure and look for certain things in guys; do not compare yourself to other guys (aka, the popular and/or athletic ones who seem to always get the girls)-- I am sure that you have a lot more to offer than some of them.

Be confident, and stop putting so much pressure on yourself. Try to get involved in school clubs, etc., that way you might have an easier time meeting people. If it happens, it will happen. You can not (or should not) force anything to happen. You will meet someone you like in time.

You are understandably stressed out about starting college- it's a big transition in your life. But trust me, once you start classes and get into the routine of things, you will be a college student, and not a high school graduate who's freaking out over starting something new.

To answer your questions:

. Laptop: you may or may not choose to take it to class. There might be a few students who do (to take notes or goof off), but most people just take notes on paper. What you do is entirely up to you. You will definitely use it for writing papers, homework, etc, but probably not for taking notes in class, unless you feel more comfortable typing- your call.

. Study Time: They will estimate about 1-2 hours of study time for every hours of class, but it's only an estimate. You will have to study a lot more than in high school, but every class/professor is different. I always had one or two relatively easy classes, and a couple of difficult classes that I had to study the most for. You have to manage your study time according to which classes have the most material and/or are the most difficult. You will probably slack off a bit, but try not to do that too much. Keep on top of everything throughout the semester and you should be fine. I highly recommend attending a lecture/workshop on time management and study skills. All universities offer them- you can ask the office or an adviser for details.

.Books: you will not need books the first day of class, but usually by the second or third lecture, depending. I HIGHLY recommend buying used books online for cheaper than the school bookstore. If you need a book right away, get it used at the bookstore, rather than new- much cheaper. I saved a lot of money searching online. You can look online to see which books you will need, and buy them ahead of time. When i was in college, I went to the first class, got the class syllabus (lists which book will be needed), and ordered books online the first week.

.Finding your way around: Don't be afraid to ask. It might take you a couple weeks to get adjusted- you can print out a campus map online, or ask the office for one. When in doubt, ask. People will be helpful, trust me.

As for any additional tips: have fun, but be safe. Do not get caught up with binge drinking, sleeping around, etc., although unfortunately these things make up "college life" in the US, they are totally meaningless activities.

Instead, try to get involved in different clubs/organizations, go out and explore what the surrounding city/town has to offer, make good friends, etc.. also, try not to get too behind on studying, it does add up! Mainly, relax and enjoy your college years!

Before I get into anything, I recommend you get screened for common STD's. You can have an STD and not know it-- you can go to a clinic or planned parenthood and get checked out. It is nothing to feel embarrassed or ashamed about; gynos and nurse practitioners deal with these things on a daily basis. You did have unprotected sex with him once, and not knowing who he may have been with before is a reason to get checked, for your own sake.

Now, regarding your question...it may not be what you want to hear, but I honestly think that you should not continue seeing this guy. It took him a whole 5 months to text you- if he really loved you, he would have kept in touch. Trust me. He says that he does not want to be with you because of the marines. I'm sorry to say this, but that is an excuse. I had a roommate who dated a guy in the marines, even while he was at war, and now they are married with a baby. So if he really wanted to be with you, nothing would get in his way- not even the marines.

My advice to you is to move on. It is not going to be easy- you may find yourself thinking about him and getting sad, but you have to remind yourself that doing the right thing is never really easy. Just remember, guys will do a lot for you IF they really like/love you. Otherwise, they do not really care..they might not keep in touch a lot, see how you are doing, and might bring up excuses as to why you shouldn't see each other....all the things that this guy already did and/or did not do. Take his word for it- he does not want to be in a relationship with you. It will be difficult for you to move on, but you will. Do not look back into what already happened- move on with your life and find somebody who really values you.

As you know from the other answers, yes, pot and weed are the same thing- just slang terms for marijuana. Pot, however, is an older term, mainly used in the 90s(I still say it), and weed is not a new term, but not as old...if that makes sense. There are so many slangs for marijuana- pot, weed, grass, herb...but pot and weed are the most commonly used. The same thing applies to "joint" (rolled weed), there are other slangs for that I'm not too familiar with...

You have a lot on your mind, and it's only natural for you to want to vent. I had to read over what you wrote a couple times to really get to the essence of what you are trying to say. It seems like you have a lot- you play soccer, get straight A's, are well-liked, and all...but something is missing. You have essentially built a wall around yourself. You are having trouble feeling something for girls and/or old friends, and claim to not care if they leave. The truth is that in some way you do care, and building a wall is some sort a defense for you. Claiming to not care is a way of protecting yourself--think of it this way: if you did care, you might just get hurt. But if you stop caring, you lose nothing.

You do care in some way. You want to feel something for girls, but are afraid of being led on and hurt again. You are young- girls at that age tend to be insecure and unsure of what they want. Leading guys on is easier than making it clear that they're not interested. It makes some girls feel flattered and in control- it's not a good thing to do, but some girls do it. But realize that not all girls are like that. Try not to let your past experience with girls get in the way of future experience. All girls are different, and frankly, it's a process of trial and error to try to find someone that is suited to you. You might get led on now and again, but do not give up on it. Just see it as the girl's problem and not yours.

It is only natural for us to look to past experiences to sort of warn us of what might happen with a new experience- if you have been led on before, you might think," here we go again," when you meet someone new. But see someone new as just that: someone NEW. Give a girl a chance and don't let what other people have said or done before get in the way of what might possibly develop between the two of you.

To put things in perspective for you, here's a common problem that girls tend to have. Sometimes we get led on by guys for one thing: sex. Sometimes it makes us think they're after one thing, and one thing only. That makes some girls conclude that ALL men want is sex. That is not true of all men, only some. But this common perception makes girls wary of entering into relationships or taking things further with new guys because they are afraid of being taken advantage of. This has a personal touch to it: I have been through this. I have come to realize, however, that not all guys are like that and I have to seek out like-minded guys who might want me for ME, and not just sex (and whatever goes along with it). What does this all have to do with you? Well, you think that girls are just going to lead you on. It makes you wary of starting a relationship with someone new. But remember: not all girls are like that. Take the girl as she is, and see what happens.

It all depends on the situation. Usually, your gut instinct is right, since your mind is trying to tell you something. There is a reason we say, "go with your gut." Still, sometimes we get scared, and our gut tells us not to do something, even though it would be okay (and probably a good thing) to take a chance.

The best thing to do is to think clearly, without letting your emotions get the better half of you. In any given situation, weigh your options. And most of the time, yes, go with your gut. But just focus and do what you know is right-sometimes your gut instinct points you in the right direction.

As for moving to a new place, it's almost always a good idea, since it will open you up to new experiences and people. But all in all, I say, go with your gut most of the time...but always think clearly and do what's wise.

I used to get really bad cramps too, especially when I first started my period. Overtime, your body adjusts...some periods are worse than others, at least for most women.

I agree that you need to switch brands- Midol doesn't work for me either. I take Aleve when I have bad cramps. It works very well for me, and lasts for several hours, unlike most over the counter pain medications. Try that and see how it works, otherwise you might want to get recommendations from your doctor.

Some other things that really help:

-exercise
-using a heating pad
-drinking warm, herbal tea (chamomile is great)
-eat good food, drink plenty of water, and take a multivitamin- it will give your body the needed nutrients so you will feel healthier and stronger.

I am here to give honest advice, when I feel I have something to contribute. I try to be as empathetic and understanding as I can, as I know that the way something is said is as important as the message itself.

I usually advise on love/relationships, friendship and family issues, nutrition, and health (mental and physical). If I feel I can help out, there's not a whole lot I am unwilling to answer. Ask away!

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