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Bitchy friend
17/f. My one friend has been kind of mean to me lately and it's pissing me off she always puts me down and she does this to other people to. I'm not sure if she is joking or what
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Have you confronted her about it? If you are friends you should be able to talk about it and let her know how it makes you feel and how you don't know if she's kidding or not. Friends maybe do things to friends and not even realizing she's doing anything to hurt you. You should probably just talk to her about it and let her know whats up. If she doesn't change would think again about being friends with someone who makes you feel bad at times.
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I have a friend like that too! Pain in the... butt.
Well I have desided that she just wants attention/ is self consious. I am not sure about your friend, but mine will find somthing, a flaw, wrong with another person and then make a snotty comment about it! Yet she "sees" herself as perfect.
Well she isn't and I finially told her to stop acting like a pathetic jerk! I am not going to hang out with someone who can only see the week points in others but not herself!
She was pissed. She got over it though and apologized to me. Can you believe it! I relize now I shoulda did it sooner! Other wise you WILL go crazy.
Just tell her.
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I have a friend who is just like that. Just ignore her, if she is deliberatley being mean to you then she is not a real friend. If you tell her she is being mean maybe she will realize it or say she was kidding. Make sure to tell her how it makes you feel an to tell her to stop or you cant be friends with her anymore. Trust me, my one friend made my live hell at one point and then I realized wow she is just jealous of everything I have so putting me down makes her happy. Hope I helped!
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I also had a friend like that a while back- she would say rude, sarcastic remarks all the time, indirectly put me down, etc., I thought that was "just how she is," but I learned that she was getting away with being that way because I let her. My mom and sister mentioned they didn't like the way she talked to me- she even talked sarcastically, in a "yeah, no shit" kind of way to my sister, who told me she doesn't like the way she talked to her. I hardly saw her at the time since i was away for college, but when I did see her (that is, when she didn't flake on me), it was always the same. Long story short, I finally came to the realization that I was better off without her- she was just not a good friend (always flaking, making excuses, being rude and sarcastic, etc.).
All of these behaviors, including those of your friend (or rather, "friend"), stem from a deeply rooted insecurity. It's a call for attention; a way of bringing herself up by putting others down. You know it's a problem when you can sense a pattern; you aren't the only one she puts down. Bottom line, there are no excuses for a friend to mistreat another friend. My best friend is a therapist, and she mentioned something that one of her old professors told the class: (something along the lines of: bad friends can be extremely draining, and put a lot of stress on you.- and that ultimately, you're better off cutting out the bad people in your life, if they are totally unwilling to change).
You mentioned that you aren't sure if she's joking or not- putting people down is not a joke, whether she claims to be joking or not. You should have a good talk with her, and tell her upfront that you feel she is putting you down a lot, and that it really bothers and hurts you. See if she is totally stressed out or is going through something very painful that could be causing her to be on edge lately. Maybe she needs someone to talk to. But even then, she should not be treating you this way. You need to make it clear to her that it hurts your feelings, and is not something you are willing to put up with. She might deny it, because sometimes people don't fully realize how hurtful they can be. You still need to firmly (without yelling) address this- otherwise, she will continue with her ways. If she doesn't take it to heart, and continuously puts you down, then you really should re-evaluate the friendship. It isn't worth it for you to feel miserable and put down due to someone else's insecurities. Trust me, I have had a few negative, insecure friends in the past, and have learned that A) they are insecure, and B) i would have to be strong and not put up with their crap. You are young enough where it's understandable for you to be going through these things, but old enough to really take a stand for yourself.
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I have a similar friend and if you let them treat you like that they probably wont even notice it's happening. You need to let her know that it hurts you when she says things like that. Don't do it in an agressive way, but in a way that shows her you care about the friendship and just want to be treated better.
Good luck,
-Abby
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