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How to get a love life
When I saw the dropdown for the category, I had to sit and think about it for a minute. I ended up classifying my problem as a love life problem. But, as my subject suggests, there really isn't a love life. I'm a junior. I play varsity soccer. I'm sixteen. I'm popular. I get all A's. Girls like me, but I have this problem. I can't feel anything real for girls any more. I have been led on too many times, I think. I know this sounds like I'm bitching. I'm not. I fell in love with this girl about a year ago. I just got over her, and I never had a chance with her. I'm not good-looking, and she was absolutely gorgeous. But now, I can't even think of her as a friend anymore. I can't feel anything for any of my old friends. All of my friends are leaving for college. They were seniors last year. I didn't know what I would do when this girl, Sarah, left. Now I don't even care. My question, I guess, is how do I feel something for girls again?
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hey..
i'm 17 and going to be a senior in high school and i know exactly how you feel, except towards guys cause i'm a girl :P
i fell for a guy last year and he ended up just screwing me over. i'm over him now but ever sense him everytime a guy comes along that wants to start something or that i think i could possibly have feelings for his face and what he did flashes into my head.
what i've discovered is that theres really nothing you can do except give yourself time to recover..
it gets easier. trust me it really does.
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Hi there :]
Well like you, I have also lost feeling for friends. I'm not that interested in talking to them and if I do then okay, if I don't then oh well whatever. I just graduated high school and I think that this all has to do with the amount of things you have to keep you busy. You have athletics, school work, and you have lots of things going for you. I doubt there is a way to just suddenly poof back feelings, they just happen. Sounds corny, but when the right girl (or maybe wrong, hopefully not) comes along, you'll feel something, a spark that can develop into more and you'll notice. You're sixteen, and as teens, we change our minds quite often, or can't make up our minds. We have choices, we have time, you know. Enjoy it while you can lol, and don't rush, everything has it's own time.
Uneek :]
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You have a lot on your mind, and it's only natural for you to want to vent. I had to read over what you wrote a couple times to really get to the essence of what you are trying to say. It seems like you have a lot- you play soccer, get straight A's, are well-liked, and all...but something is missing. You have essentially built a wall around yourself. You are having trouble feeling something for girls and/or old friends, and claim to not care if they leave. The truth is that in some way you do care, and building a wall is some sort a defense for you. Claiming to not care is a way of protecting yourself--think of it this way: if you did care, you might just get hurt. But if you stop caring, you lose nothing.
You do care in some way. You want to feel something for girls, but are afraid of being led on and hurt again. You are young- girls at that age tend to be insecure and unsure of what they want. Leading guys on is easier than making it clear that they're not interested. It makes some girls feel flattered and in control- it's not a good thing to do, but some girls do it. But realize that not all girls are like that. Try not to let your past experience with girls get in the way of future experience. All girls are different, and frankly, it's a process of trial and error to try to find someone that is suited to you. You might get led on now and again, but do not give up on it. Just see it as the girl's problem and not yours.
It is only natural for us to look to past experiences to sort of warn us of what might happen with a new experience- if you have been led on before, you might think," here we go again," when you meet someone new. But see someone new as just that: someone NEW. Give a girl a chance and don't let what other people have said or done before get in the way of what might possibly develop between the two of you.
To put things in perspective for you, here's a common problem that girls tend to have. Sometimes we get led on by guys for one thing: sex. Sometimes it makes us think they're after one thing, and one thing only. That makes some girls conclude that ALL men want is sex. That is not true of all men, only some. But this common perception makes girls wary of entering into relationships or taking things further with new guys because they are afraid of being taken advantage of. This has a personal touch to it: I have been through this. I have come to realize, however, that not all guys are like that and I have to seek out like-minded guys who might want me for ME, and not just sex (and whatever goes along with it). What does this all have to do with you? Well, you think that girls are just going to lead you on. It makes you wary of starting a relationship with someone new. But remember: not all girls are like that. Take the girl as she is, and see what happens.
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