Something nobody else seems to have mentioned is the possibility of depression. Suspicion of loved ones is a common symptom. I know when I was having trouble, I suspected every single woman my fiance talked to.

If you have access to counselling, I would seriously suggest that you take the opportunity. There may be more serious underlying problems than just "Stay away from my man, woman!"

I'm 22, and have been engaged for 3 years now. I'm also in university, not making a whole lot.

I take it that you haven't actually lived together yet? You should. Take a few months at least to adjust to that (and to each other!). Find out exactly what living together entails cost-wise. Expenses are different for everyone, depending on their lifestyles.

As for your question, weddings can cost as little as a couple hundred for a court ceremony (basically just signing the papers) or as much as $25 000 and up, depending on the level of extravagance.

Your first priority should be your safety and the safety of your children. You need to get to a womens' shelter. Take the kids if you can; they're old enough to have the situation explained to them. Many shelters can come and pick you up, especially if you have a disability.

Shelter staff will have the resources you need to get your voice heard and get the help you require. It won't be counted against you for running. He is not legally entitled to your things because he abused you out of your own house.

Sounds a lot like eczema to me! I get it on my palms and fingertips. It tends to flare up in cold, dry weather.

If you go to the drugstore, you should be able to get Hydrocortisone cream. It's a steroid that helps keep your skin moistened.

My favourite games for the Wii are Rayman: Raving Rabbids and Boom Blox.

Raving Rabbids has really funny minigames, and great multiplayer.

Boom Blox is like Jenga on steroids. There are games where you remove blocks from a tower, and games where you try to knock a tower over. It's really fun.

I'm a size 16... the real kinda fat chick.

Bulimia can definitely kill you. It can cause cardiac arrest, kidney failure or even death by starvation.

Not only that, but it ruins your teeth (how sexy is gum disease? You may be thin, but at least those fatties have all their teeth!) and causes ulcers and ruptures in the esophagus.

You've got a problem, and you recognize it. It's called a disorder for a reason. You have a messed up way of looking at your body and the bodies of others. Not only should you work on your eating disorder, you should get psychological help for your body image issues.

Socialism, when you boil it all down, basically means spreading resources based upon work an individual does. Cuba has an extreme socialist economy. Everyone who can work has jobs, and everyone also has access to education (both elementary and post-secondary), health care, food and housing. Nobody is rich, but nobody is destitute either. And boy, does that annoy wealthy Americans (which is what your government is made up of!).

People say Obama is a socialist because he's trying to break down the enormous divide between rich and poor. Poor people go to poor schools, so they don't get a good education and they stay poor. Even if they do, by some miracle, succeed moderately, they can't afford university. Have you ever heard the phrase "The rich are getting richer, and the poor are getting poorer"? The US is that concept in action.

The health care issue is the main thing that's causing people to say that Obama has socialist views. He wants to make health care a national industry, like it is in the UK or here in Canada, neither of which are communist countries!

Here's how the health care thing works; you get sick and need to go to the hospital. Good thing you have health insurance! What's that? You work for minimum wage and can't afford it? You have a pre-existing condition that the insurance companies refuse to cover? The people who have money either can afford to buy insurance, or pay for health care emergencies, or they have jobs with great benefits. The poor, on the other hand, who really NEED the security of health coverage, go without. I'm not talking people on welfare; they get it. It's the people who work hard for little pay who get screwed in this arrangement.

Rich people don't like this idea. It means taking away their money and giving it to other people. It makes no difference to them whether there's accessible health care to everyone, because they'll always have access.

Pure communism has an impact on your home life. Socialism doesn't necessarily mean that the government is trying to take over all aspects of its citizens. Then again, that's what your government is good at, right? Look at the bans on gay marriage. That's a case of the government walking into the bedrooms of its citizens. You can have both; you can have social freedom and financial jurisdiction.

Keep in mind that your Democrats are still more conservative than Canadian Conservatives!

This can all go several ways.

You may find that when he comes back, it was all just a phase you were going through. You were just enjoying your freedom.

It could also be that you guys need to back off for a bit. Have separate lives; hang out with your own friends, do stuff on your own. You shouldn't have to spend every waking hour with your boyfriend. Heck, I don't spend every waking hour with my fiance, and I live with him!

Things may also have fizzled out. You may not have noticed it until you rediscovered what it is to not have to dedicate all your time to him. This is normal; it's not that you don't love him, it's just that you've grown apart. You're at an age where you will be changing a lot as a person. It's silly to expect that you'll want the same sort of person at 18 that you wanted at 15.

Just because you've spent 2 years with him doesn't mean you need to spend the rest of your life with him! Wait it out for a while after he comes back, and see what you want. Try spending more time apart from each other, see if that helps.

First off, he needs to know that that's not an appropriate thing to say. Seriously. Tell him that you were entirely put off by it.

I don't think he's mature enough. Until he's showing a little more maturity, I'd hold off on sexual contact.

Something handmade is always nice. Have you ever considered crocheting? It's really easy to make cool stuff, and you can find all the tutorials you need online. Yarn can cost very little.

This website has tons of patterns for cool scarves. Since she's on the funky side, she may like something like that:
http://crochetme.com/patterns/item/Scarves

Your local stationary store may also have some cool handmade journals, etc.

Do you always use the same shampoo and conditioner? That could be the problem.

Try alternating different brands for different days. I always use a volumizing formula, because it's not as heavy and oily. Stay away from 2-in-1 shampoos, because they don't do a good job in general. If this doesn't work, try only conditioning once a week, or not conditioning at all.

Try to avoid touching your hair, too.

What time isn't best?

Seriously, any time. And trust me, your husband may think you're a freak, but it'll be the good kind of freak ;) Husbands appreciate creativity and a high sex drive!

If you're shy about initiating things outside the bedroom during the daytime, try hopping in the shower with him. Let one thing lead to another and... you know.

There are tons of vegetarian options in all of those foods!

Chinese: Tons of vegetable dishes; bean sprouts, eggplant, peppers, wonton soup.

Japanese: Vegetarian sushi (avocado, cucumber, sweet potato), tempura battered veggies, edamame (soybeans)

Mexican: Quesadillas, tostadas. Guacamole is really tasty and super healthy too!

Italian: There are tons of dishes. Lots of pasta dishes can be made without meat. Pasta puttanesca is one of my favourites!

Well, you've figured out the first step; you know you have a problem and you want to fix it.

First off, you need to realize that you deserve respect and so does your body! Guys should have to work to get "full access". You owe it to yourself to put some value on your self-respect.

Obviously you have some issues to work through. Does your school have a guidance counsellor? Or is there an adult you feel you can talk to about these things? You're going to need some mature help throughout this metamorphosis. You may also have depression: one of the warning signs of depression is promiscuous behaviour.

I know it's easier said than done, but stop. Stop having sexual contact with guys. No further than kissing for at least 3 months of dating. If anyone calls you on it ("Oh, you did it before, what's the difference?") or if anyone is giving you a hard time, look them in the eye and tell them you've changed.

You sound like you need meaning in your life. So your parents aren't around for you; what about friends? Cultivate platonic relationships. Get a hobby. Try doing some volunteer work! Anything to help you feel like you're a worthwhile person who is more valuable than just her body.

If a new wardrobe is out of the question, try hitting up thrift stores to find new tops. Keep the cleavage/stomach showing to a bare minimum. Cut down on makeup (if you wear it) and try to stick to a natural look in general.

Start thinking about what kind of adult you do want to be. Take steps to get there. Do you want to go to college? Be a doctor? Work with children? Find out what you want, and make it happen. Having clear goals makes all the difference.

Most of all, try to be a kid again. You've grown up too fast sexually, and you weren't ready for it. Enjoy your youth while you have it. Stay away from drugs and alcohol (which may make you more likely to fall back into old habits).

I have to give you huge props for trying to better yourself. I hate to see the way that teen girls have been sexualized over the last 10 years or so. Take charge!

I hate it when my fiance calls me babe. It comes across as a little patronizing, in my opinion.

Your skills on a resume should always be concrete things; like typing. The soft skills, like working hard, being positive and punctual, those will come into play with your cover letter and interview. The resume is for solid facts only.

Things to include; your typing skills and bilinguality and computer systems that you're comfortable with. If you need to pad a little, add in customer service skills and something else fairly solid.

Which COD? I'm going to assume 4, since that would be the newest one.

Personally, I'd go for the Gilly suit, since that is my favourite from the game. I think it would be the most fun. Get some vegetation, attach it to some khaki clothes, and use either a helmet or a toque with more grass on it. Then you can hide in patches of tall grass and scare people :D Fake leaves and grass will work just as well as real stuff.

As for props, you can make grenades out of those lemon juice containers shaped like lemons. You can't be a COD person without a gun... can you have a toy gun? Dollar stores usually carry toy guns. You can always paint everything but the orange tip (leave that on so nobody thinks it's real).

I've seen zebra shirts within the last few months at Sirens. Their website doesn't seem to have them on it (it's not a new fashion) but they may still have some!

Not to sound nasty or anything, but the reason you have no ambition is because you have no reason to.

You don't need to make more than minimum wage, because you're working for pocket money. You don't have rent or other bills to pay. Of course minimum wage is fine!

You haven't figured out what you want to do for school (or if you want to go at all) so you don't have a savings plan in place, so there's nothing else to spend your money on.

You're stalled. That's why you have no ambition. Nothing has booted you into "living" mode.

You need a stimulus right now before you'll have a change of heart. Whether it's suddenly discovering a passion that you want to pursue, or your parents kicking you out of the house, something needs to happen to you. Here's the thing; you don't HAVE to make any decisions about the future right now. You're still young. You have time to think about it.

In the meantime, start saving. Put away %50 (because you don't need any more than %50 for fun money) of your income in a high interest account so that you can use it when you need it; whether that money goes towards university, a down payment on a house, or even starting your own business!

Start looking at what you enjoy. Do you really enjoy your job? Can you see yourself doing it forever? What can you see yourself doing? What makes you happy?

Do you want to live with your parents forever? Will they let you? Once you've moved out on your own, you'll find out that life is hard on minimum wage. A one bedroom apartment in my city is about $750 per month. That doesn't account for phone bills, food, and other necessities!

As for relationships, you should be dating around in this phase of your life. No sense in picking a life mate when you haven't got the rest of your life organized yet! Figure out what you want. THEN you can go looking for it, whenever that is.

Me? I'm 22 years old. I'm engaged, own a house with my fiance. I work part time, and I'm a full time engineering student paying my own way through school. We are dirt poor but debt-free. I've got an abundance of ambition :D But that's what I wanted. I can tell you, though, that it's incredibly rewarding. With great responsibility comes great freedom; a lesson my parents tried for years to teach me.

You sound like a smart woman. Just a woman who doesn't know what she wants yet. You'll find your stimulus... run with it when it comes! Till then, prepare for that eventuality.

That disgusts me that someone could be so rude to you! You sound like an articulate young woman who knows what she's doing. You're obviously not some welfare mom on food stamps.

I'm 22, so here's my view on it:

Personally, I would be pretty amazed, especially if your children are well-behaved. I have a ton of respect for people who have children young, especially a lot of them, if they can manage them okay. Me? I can't do it. My fiance and I are still at a very selfish stage in life. We would be pretty overwhelmed by even one baby at this point in time!

Odd as this sounds, I actually have way more respect for young mothers than old mothers. I think it's more socially irresponsible for 40+ year old women to have children, when you look at the risks involved. You're going to be young throughout your childrens' entire lives. When your oldest is 20, you'll be 35! If you'd waited until you were 35, you'd be 55.

My mother was a young-looking 20 when I was born. She got it all the time from people. My suggestion? Next time someone goes "Aren't you a little young to... (blah blah rudeness blah)" come back at them with an "Aren't you a little fat to be buying ice cream?" Or an "Aren't you a little old to be a natural brunette?"

People need to not be so rude. You're doing fine, and you're happy. That's what matters.

My Personal Forum

My name is Amanda and I'm 26 years old. I'm currently studying electrical engineering. Armed with a fairly odd sense of humour and a sunny outlook on life, I'll take on just about anything. I'm also cussedly stubborn, which has its ups and downs. Things get tough sometimes, and I've never been one to run from it.

In my last 8 years with Advicenators, I've gone from honours student to failing out of university (and getting back on top again!), from single to married, from tenant to homeowner.

Until lately, I have been struggling with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder and OCD, which had basically ruined my life and taken just about everything from me. I'm thankful every day for every experience I've had because of this ordeal, because it's helped to make me who I am today. Things like that really make you appreciate what you do have. Now that I'm back in work and school and starting to become myself again, I couldn't be happier. I credit Advicenators with saving my life back when I was a teenager, which is a big part of why I'm still here.

I won't necessarily give you the answers you want to hear, but I'll always be honest and do my best to help.

Gender:
Location:
Occupation:
Age:
Member Since:
Answers:
Last Update:
Visitors:
Main Categories:




Favorite Columnists