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I am a slut...how do I stop being a slut? How can I not be slutty?
I am a slut. I will admit it. I've had sex with about 20 or so boys from my high school and I don't even know how many I've given head to. I'd had sex in the bathrooms, in the janitor's closet, and behind the school. I've skipped class to do this too. I'm really ashamed of myself and the way I dress on a day to day basis. I feel like I'm growing up and I don't want to be that type of person any more. None of the guys at school have respect for me. The girls hate me because I've slept with a lot of their boyfriends. Basically I can't get a good boyfriend who is really interested in ME because he knows we will have sex and I can't have a best friend because the girls think I'm going to steal their boyfriends or something (I don't blame them though...A LOT of guys have cheated on their girlfriends with me).
I am completely unhappy with myself and I don't know what I was thinking when I did those things. I guess I just wanted some attention because my parents are working alllll the time and I don't feel very loved or that I'm special. ANYWAY, how can I stop being such a slut? I hate it about me...I want to stop...but I just keep...screwing up, for lack of better words. Help, please? It's like, I keep thinking things like, "Yeah, maybe this guy might REALLY be into me! I need to push this forward..." but I KNOW he isn't...ugh...I feel stupid...
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Hi Hoe!
I think that you may have gone down the slutty path. But just remember those boys are bigger hoes than you are. If you've fucked so many guys you probably could've fucked more, so good job not going there. Just up your selectivity and don't give a fuck about these dumb people. Your pussy is famous now, make them beg for it. If they don't want it, or don't act like they do, don't give it to them. Also if their girlfriends have a problem with you direct them to the slut in the middle, the man. Good luck hoe!
From one slut to another.
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Look, you don't have a problem.
There is nothing wrong with you.
There might be something wrong with your behaviour and you are addressing that now.
My advice is to seek counseling.
You are not a slut, you are a sexually active human being. There's nothing wrong with sex or with having multiple partners. Just make sure you protect yourself from unwanted pregnancy and STD's.
Now make an appointment to talk to a professional counselor.
And make another appointment with your local Health Department and get checked for STD's and get some condoms.
And make some real freinds. Find some people who won't judge you by the rumours they've heard.
After all you didn't get the reputation you have alone. Why should you have to be the one who is bad?
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First off, congratulations for seeing that you have a problem. You even have some insights into your motives. We all want to be valued and loved, and unfortunately we find it very easy to find attention in bad relationships. I've done it a lot myself. It's a very difficult habit to break, but it can be broken.
How good is your relationship with your parents? You may find that counseling helps, but in order to get counseling you'll need to talk to your parents first.
There are certain things you can change by yourself. One thing that worked for me was not dating for at least six months. Get yourself out of the scene, don't answer the booty calls, ignore the guys who hit on you. Ask yourself a lot of questions: what am I good at? what do I want to do? what am I looking for in life? Make lists. Writing something down gets it out of your head and into real life.
Clothes are easy to change; go to thrift stores in wealthier neighborhoods. Dress a little older and more conservatively than normal. Think elegant.
Try to build a social group away from your school. Take classes in something that interests you, or volunteer at a hospital: get involved with other teens and adults who don't know all your prior history. Having adult friends, especially adult women friends, will make you feel valued for yourself rather than your sexuality.
It'll be hard going, it may take a long time and you may get your heart broken a time or two, but it is possible. Good luck.
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Well, you've figured out the first step; you know you have a problem and you want to fix it.
First off, you need to realize that you deserve respect and so does your body! Guys should have to work to get "full access". You owe it to yourself to put some value on your self-respect.
Obviously you have some issues to work through. Does your school have a guidance counsellor? Or is there an adult you feel you can talk to about these things? You're going to need some mature help throughout this metamorphosis. You may also have depression: one of the warning signs of depression is promiscuous behaviour.
I know it's easier said than done, but stop. Stop having sexual contact with guys. No further than kissing for at least 3 months of dating. If anyone calls you on it ("Oh, you did it before, what's the difference?") or if anyone is giving you a hard time, look them in the eye and tell them you've changed.
You sound like you need meaning in your life. So your parents aren't around for you; what about friends? Cultivate platonic relationships. Get a hobby. Try doing some volunteer work! Anything to help you feel like you're a worthwhile person who is more valuable than just her body.
If a new wardrobe is out of the question, try hitting up thrift stores to find new tops. Keep the cleavage/stomach showing to a bare minimum. Cut down on makeup (if you wear it) and try to stick to a natural look in general.
Start thinking about what kind of adult you do want to be. Take steps to get there. Do you want to go to college? Be a doctor? Work with children? Find out what you want, and make it happen. Having clear goals makes all the difference.
Most of all, try to be a kid again. You've grown up too fast sexually, and you weren't ready for it. Enjoy your youth while you have it. Stay away from drugs and alcohol (which may make you more likely to fall back into old habits).
I have to give you huge props for trying to better yourself. I hate to see the way that teen girls have been sexualized over the last 10 years or so. Take charge!
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let's see, what is the easiest fix-it to this problem? run off to a convent.
OR.... you could nip this problem in the bud by being hard to get. guys love the challenge, and if you keep using your body to get their affection, you'll keep losing. well now, look at it this way: the average young male is interested in one thing; sex. to which we will refer to as the "Main course". your resturaunt has only one serving, that being the main course of the meal. put in some appetizers, like dating, movies, phone conversations, cuddling, sharing dreams and aspirations.... the list goes on. The french believe in an excrutiatingly long lunch, several hours of bread, cheese sampling, wine, casual conversation, etc.. followed...ever so slowly... by the main course, which was well worth the wait. then the day turns to festive lovemaking for the rest of the afternoon, followed by a light dinner, then sleep. you can use this model in order to pace your relationship. so instead of just feeding the bloke and having him leave soon after, you should use patience. it is a virtue. like pie. pie is definitely a virtue.
-Gunner
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i agree with dottie.
just stop doing it and dress differently maybe?
you can still be stylish but not so revealing?!
& just try meeting completely new guys who dont go to your school.
cause you cant really change your image in a few days.
just stop having sex with random guys & they will realise that you've changed. same with the girls.
good luck (:
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Easy.. Stop having sex with random guys.
Maybe meet guys outside of your school.
xoxo,
dottie4
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