|
If you saw a VERY young mother at the grocery store...what would you say?
I am 19 and have a 4 1/2 yr old daughter and my boyfriend has a 18 month old son that lives with us. I am now very pregnant with twins.
Today, after I had picked up the kids from pre-school and daycare, I went into the store to pick up some things for dinner. While I was picking up the baby and putting him in the cart, my little girl was playing by the quarter machines. A woman (probably about 30 years old) saw me and said, "Aren't you a little young to have a baby with another one on the way?" I didn't get a chance to say anything when my daughter came running over, screaming, "Mommy!!!" The woman just looked at me glared, shook her head, and left. I just wonder what people must think of me. Yes, I made some really poor choices in my life but I would like the chance to talk about it so maybe some other girls wouldn't go the same route I did. It's not uncommon for me to get crazy looks or stares when I'm out with the kids--or even just one of the kids! At least I'm taking full responsibility for my actions by raising my children the right way. It's just A LOT harder with me being so young. What would you think if you saw me in the supermarket? What would you say to me?
Thanks
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
I am in the same situation as you. Although I am 18 and my husband is 22. I have a 2 year old going on 3 and a 6 year old step son and I am pregnant. It is no ones buisness and people should keep their comments to there self. For those who can not we can't put our self down we have to stay strong to support these children. I just look at it as a gift from god. I belive everything happens for a reason even though we may never no that reason at least not right now. ignore them and ifyou get a that chance to speak up god bless you. I am going to go to school to become a social worker and well as write a novel.
]
While I don't condone teen pregnancy or agree with it, it wouldn't really change my opinion on someone. My cousins are teen moms (one is older than me by about a year, one is younger by a year, I'm 18). I can't help what choices they have made, and I don't know how that baby came about. Hell, why should I? I was a surprise to my parents myself.
I think as long as you're doing what you can to raise your children right with good morals, and good values & discipline, you're fine. Don't let uptight assholes bring you down. You are an adult, and a mother and can do whatever you want. Besides, the youngest mother ever noted was 5. Next time someone is rude to you about it, have them Google that shit. I bet they'll feel pretty stupid for being a dick to you about something so idiotic. You have every right to be a parent. As long as you're not a pregnant 12 year old, who cares what you do?
It's none of their business anyways. Make sure you let them know that.
]
That disgusts me that someone could be so rude to you! You sound like an articulate young woman who knows what she's doing. You're obviously not some welfare mom on food stamps.
I'm 22, so here's my view on it:
Personally, I would be pretty amazed, especially if your children are well-behaved. I have a ton of respect for people who have children young, especially a lot of them, if they can manage them okay. Me? I can't do it. My fiance and I are still at a very selfish stage in life. We would be pretty overwhelmed by even one baby at this point in time!
Odd as this sounds, I actually have way more respect for young mothers than old mothers. I think it's more socially irresponsible for 40+ year old women to have children, when you look at the risks involved. You're going to be young throughout your childrens' entire lives. When your oldest is 20, you'll be 35! If you'd waited until you were 35, you'd be 55.
My mother was a young-looking 20 when I was born. She got it all the time from people. My suggestion? Next time someone goes "Aren't you a little young to... (blah blah rudeness blah)" come back at them with an "Aren't you a little fat to be buying ice cream?" Or an "Aren't you a little old to be a natural brunette?"
People need to not be so rude. You're doing fine, and you're happy. That's what matters.
]
Honestly . Don't worry about what people said about you. Because it seems to me that your taking car of your kids better then a 30 year old women would . People is going to talk about you regardless . Don't let it effect you . Okay you made a mistake and your taking care of it . Your a good mother don't worry about it . My mother always told me . When she looked at me she knew everything was going to be okay . And I know that's how you think. So just continue to do you and worry about you and your kids .and the next time someone says something like that to you say yes . I am there mother and im doing what I know best . And im living up to it .
]
I don't think that how that woman reacted is uncommon, it's just more blunt and obvious than most people are. Even so, I think it is ridiculous that people respond like this.
My family has custody of a 2 year old boy (I'm 16), and whenever I have to take him to the store or anything, everyone thinks he is my son. I get weird looks and I get very uncomfortable, even though he isn't my child.
I think it's really rude that people react like this. It's really none of their business, for one thing. Also, you're completely right. You're taking responsibility. You made some bad decisions, but you're living up to them and making the best of your situation. If you were letting your children run around and completely ignoring them and not providing them with the things they needed, that would be one thing. However, no one has the right to judge you.
I think our society is becoming used to teenage pregnancy, so the negative reactions are probably an attempt to reattach a negative connotation. Maybe with teen preganancy becoming more socially acceptable, older generations don't know how to respond with anything other than hostility? I"m not really sure.
If I saw you in the supermarket, I wouldn't really look down on you or anything like that. I probably wouldn't notice you, especially because you're 19 now. That's at least out of high school, so it's not that young, in my opinion. Assuming your kids weren't running wild, I wouldn't even really take notice, and if at all, definitely not negative. I'd probably look up to you for taking care of your children and making a "bad" situation into a good one.
I wouldn't say a thing, especially not something rude like that woman said. Really, if that happens often, you should say something calmly. It's no one else's place to say anything judgmental to you; they have no idea what your life has been like, even if they have experienced teenage pregancny -- no one has the exact same experiences throughout life.
You're obviously going to have a difficult life, but regardless of age, it will be rewarding and memorable. You're doing a good thing.
I say kudos to you for raising your kids, and congrats for the ones on the way. :]
]
People can be so cruel.
That lady had no right to even say that. Some things should be kept inside of your head. I don't lie ... so I'm not trying to make you feel better when i say this, although I hope it does :] haha, but if I saw you, I would say "awww what a cute kid ! how old is she ?!" and smile. I'd probably also ask name and then wish you luck :] I wouldn't even think twice about your age. You're a mother, and no matter your age, people need to respect that. I mean, it's as easy as putting yourself in someone elses shoes, and that lady needs to be put in her place. you handled it very well, I would have confronted her, but also, it wouldn't have been a good idea to do that infront of your children. You seem very mature and level-headed, so I applaud you for that. Just keep being a good mother and don't care about what other people say or think. It's not their life, and in my opinion, you seem like a very responsible and caring person.. people need to stop judging and start accepting.
Anyways, that's what i would say ! and I wish you the very best of luck with your child and the 2 on the way ! they're very lucky kids to have a great parent like you. just keep your head held high and be confident in your own skin and with your own family.
good luck ! hope i helped, and if you need anything else, feel free to inbox me :] xxo.
]
Honestly, I wouldn't think much of it at all. I was a teen mother myself back in 1975, when it was probably even more unacceptable than it is now.
I don't know if its a good thing necessarily, but you'll get toughened to it one day and simply glare back at them.
It sounds like you are doing a great job. Don't let the uppity people get you down. Next time I see a young mother, I'm going to smile and maybe think of something to say to brighten her day. All because of your question. :)
I thought people were different now, but guess they never change!
]
First and foremost it is not my place or anyone else's to pass judgement on you. Not one single person on the face of this earth has lived a life with no mistakes and I really wish people would remember that before they go looking down their noses at someone else! I, personally want to praise you for taking responsibility for your children and doing the best you can. You should hold your head high and not give a damn what others think, at least you aren't the majority of teenage mothers in this country. As long as you are a good mother to these children and raise them with love, and put them foremost in your life, then even God himself wouldn't dissaprove. Keep doing what you're doing and don't worry about what society thinks.....at the end of the day all that matters is what your children think of you. God bless you!!
]
More Questions: |