"People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone." - Audrey Hepburn
I came to this site for advice about a man and love. That very question turned my entire world around and I have had my eyes opened to things I never noticed before.
I've stayed here so that I can share the knowledge I do have. I know I'm not changing the world but I do hope that I spark others to open their eyes.
"The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself." - Oscar Wilde
So, if you learn something from what I say then repeat it to someone else who can use it.
I hope that if you see an answer of mine that you enjoy it will inspire you to go out of your way to give good, solid information. Provide links for further information, detail your responses, encourage people to seek out professionals when it's needed, and stop sugar-coating responses and just say the truth.
I hope that even if you absolutely hate my answer that it'll kick start your brain. Hopefully you'll begin taking your time to respond instead of hurried answers that are useless to an already confused person.
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." - Robert Frost
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As a percentage, how effective and reliable is the birth control pill against pregnancy?
I know it doesn't protect against STI's. (link)
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With typical usage, the hormonal birth control pill is actually only 92% effective preventing pregnancy. The 99% claim they advertise is actually for perfect usage--something that could probably only be seen in a laboratory setting.
If you were perfect, the birth control pill would be 99% effective. As it is, our weight fluctuates, some of us are still growing, we sometimes experience stress (sometimes more frequently than others), we eat different foods, some days we get more exercise than others, etc. All of these things (and more) cause the pill to drop in effectiveness. In addition to the above mentioned, if you are off by just a half hour on taking the pill then the pregnancy prevention percentage drops. We are far from perfect beings, you see.
The birth control pill does not protect against sexual transmitted diseases or infections. Please keep in mind that the condom does not protect against such illnesses either and that some of these disease can cause life-long problems, including infertility and pain.
That being said, the only "safe" sex is having no sex at all. You will ALWAYS be at risk for a pregnancy. You will ALWAYS be at risk for contracting a disease or infection. There is absolutely no "method" out there that completely prevents any of this except abstinence.
In short, the answer is 92% effective with TYPICAL usage. This takes into account some of the behavior such as alternate eating and small lifestyle changes, but nothing major or time variations as to when you take the pill.
If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me!
P.S.
Condoms are 88% effective on preventing pregnancy with typical usage.
The "pull-out" method varies between 30% to 70% effective on preventing pregnancy with typical usage.
Neither of those help to prevent disease or infection transmission either.
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I'm a virgin. I've been proud of that my entire life, since I just entered my early 20's. It feels good to know I have pride in something. But-- It doesn't mean I've been completely prude.
Before my current boyfriend, I'd "hooked up" with one other guy, who I'd been with for 3 years. My new boyfriend and I are doing really great-- but I keep accusing him of giving me STD's, and going on and on about it until he freaks out. But, oral sex is still sex... And I could still catch something.
My vagina had some itching-burning going on.. so before getting it checked out.. I blamed him. Then, after a visit to the gyno.. turned out to be a yeast infection.
The other day, I reached to the back of my mouth.. because I felt like there was food stuck back there, and it wasn't. While trying to pull out food, I popped a blister back there! It was painless, but whatever was inside the blister, tasted sour and gross. Any idea what THAT was??
I got so mad, that I walked up to him and slapped him. This poor guy, he's been tested twice, and honestly doesn't believe he has anything. But I keep doing this to him.
Should I be worried about the blister?
How can I be nicer to him about this?.. he really might leave me one day.
Thank you (link)
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Oral sex is not the only way to spread oral diseases. People have contracted oral (and genital on the mouth) herpes, oral hpv, oral chlamydia, oral gonorrhea, mono, etc from JUST kissing. STDs are running rampant now so it's very, very easy to catch something from anyone--even virgins (you CAN be born with STDs and not be aware of it).
Call your doctor and explain to them that you have a blister you'd like them to swab for an STD test. Tell them it has opened so you need to come soon before it heals over and they aren't able to get a good swab.
Your partner very well may leave you one day because you are being selfish by blaming him for something you aren't even sure you have yet. For all you know, you have oral herpes from kissing some guy 3 years ago and have spread it to your current partner, unknowingly.
The more you accuse your partner of giving you and STD, the more he will be inclined to go out on you. When people are accused of something over and over they tend to eventually give in and do what they have been accused of.
Go to the doctor, have the area swabbed and tested, and, while you're at it, have an STD test done on yourself. You can contract a wide variety of diseases just from kissing (and that's not even taking into account oral sex).
Sit down and talk to your partner. Tell him your worries and explain why. Have a new STD test done together to ease your minds (it is a good idea anyway). Let him know you are aware of the STD statistics today and are trying to avoid being one of them. Apologize sincerely for the way you have been acting. Stop accusing him. If you have to, start putting the blame on yourself when you find things with you that may be a sign of an STD.
If you're truly concerned then you need to stop engaging in oral sex. Seriously. I hate to say this here but it sickens me that people say, "I'm a virgin! I have only had oral sex!" That, in my book, does not make you a virgin then. I also, whole-heartedly, believe that if you have anal sex then you are not a virgin either. Your hymen is not your actual virginity, it is only a "symbol" of virginity. People can have their hymens reconstructed. People can tear their hymens while playing very active sports.
Do you think the Virgin Mary had oral sex?
Do you think she had anal sex?
Do you seriously think God said, "You should be pure on your wedding night. Virginity is something to cherish. Oh, but oral sex doesn't count! Have fun, kiddies!"
Do you understand that there is a good reason why doctor's now say, "How many people have you had oral, anal, and/or vaginal sex with?"
An intact hymen means nothing now.
You need to rethink calling yourself a virgin.
You aren't pure.
You aren't a virgin any more.
So, you need to call your doctor (TODAY) and make an appointment to have the sore swabbed and a full STD test done on yourself. If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
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I am 17 and my boyfriend is 20. We've been together on off for almost four years and have had a sexual relationship for pratically all of that time.
We're really great together but we aren't compatable sexually AT ALL. We have great chemistry and the lead up to sex is fantastic but the act itself is awful.
For the last year I've been questioning my sexuality. I've thought I'm bisexual for a few years, although I haven't discussed this with my boyfriend - it doesn't really come up does it. Lately though, i've becoming way more... that way inclined.
So basically, I'm unsure about my sexuality, and I don't see how I'm supposed to figure it out because I can't experiment without breaking up with my boyfriend. I really dont want that. And besides, I can't really mention it to my boyfriend until I know - because what if I'm wrong?
I would like to be in a relationship with a girl I think. But maybe a bit later in life. My family would kill me lol.
HELP? (link)
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I have high doubts that you are gay because you are clearly able to attach to a male without problem. Just because you don't have great sex with your current partner doesn't mean you can't have great sex with a male.
Think of it this way:
If another guy came along would you expect the exact same sex from him as you currently have? No. It would be silly to think that. It isn't the penis that is throwing things off, it's, most likely, the technique (or lack of).
So, if a girl comes along, would you expect sex to magically be better? It is completely unknown, just as being with another man is completely unknown since it does vary from person to person. Some people know more than others, obviously.
Being a lesbian means you are sexually attracted to females. You want to have sex with them and nothing about that is the slightest bit "icky" or odd. You wouldn't mind being in a long-term relationship, and the possibility of marrying a female wouldn't be out of the question.
A lot of young people are hung up on sexuality now because the media is feeding it to us. We're being told that we HAVE to be different and that out sexual preference must be different too. This being said, do not even bother experimenting. Do not do it. You'll only get yourself into a mess.
The mess happens this way:
The media (magazines, television, movies, etc.) is telling you that you should be interested in your gender. There is even that "I kissed a girl and I liked it..." song out now. The problem is that kissing and hugging does not mean you're sexually compatible. It does not mean that sparks have to fly. It does not mean that anything has changed about you, except you've lip-locked with another person (and maybe contracted an oral issue such as oral gonorrhea, herpes, chlamydia, etc.) Years ago it was completely normal for a woman to peck another woman on the lips, hold hands with her, and hug generously throughout the day because they were FRIENDS. Of course, they didn't go around making out--but who the hell actually does this?
When you have thought that going to a party and picking up a completely random guy to make out with for a few hours was normal? That is now glamorized for young men and woman to do--only to their own gender. When in the world did that even become realistic?!
Are you a lesbian?
Are you attracted to your partner? Sounds like it.
Does your partner turn you on? Sounds like it.
Do you actually want to get down there and have sex with a girl? That's what you need to figure out.
Your set question REALLY is:
Could I be with a woman 24/7? Could I have sex with her frequently, giving and receiving? Could I seek out a woman to be my life-long partner? Could I comfortably walk around with my female partner and not be ashamed that I am with her and not someone else, namely a man?
Those are questions everyone answers.
Great sex isn't going to magically come because you've switched teams, if you get my drift. To have great sex, you and your partner need to talk about what is liked and what is disliked. Most young people rush into sex without being prepared--that means reading books galore to figure out how the hell things work right. There is a lot more to sex than inserting a penis into a vagina. You sit down after some reading and say, "I really like ____. ____ feels good to me. I am interesting in ____. Do you think we could do that? Do you think you could start doing that? Do you think you could do that more? What do you really like?"
You are more inclined because you're, unknowingly, being told every day TO be inclined. I believe you cannot just magically be straight one week and then decide differently the next. It doesn't make sense. The same people who claim that babies can be born gay were not gay until recently. Sure, maybe they hid it for a few years--but, come on, did this stuff happen back in the 50s? No. Why? Because television wasn't screaming to be gay at people's faces.
What I mean by that is we now have television shows about gay people. They are almost glamorized. We have magazines talking about what celebrity MIGHT be gay this week. We have gay parades and gay pride day. Hell, even DISNEYLAND has gay pride day--DISNEY! Doesn't it seem odd to ANYONE that Disney is marketed toward CHILDREN?!
You are suppose to be able to see women and think they are pretty or attractive, but not in the sense that you want to rip her clothes off and go at her. It's natural to say, "She is REALLY beautiful!" because everyone wants to be pretty. You want specific features and when you see them just right you say to yourself, "Wow, she is gorgeous. I wish I could be like her." There is a line in thinking--"WOW! Someone I want to have sex with!" and "WOW! She is NICE looking!"
We do this every day.
Every person we see we judge by appearance.
"She's pretty!"
"Ewh! Ugly! I don't want to do my hair like that!"
"Wow, I wonder what happened to her!"
"I wish I had that nose!"
"Her body is perfect, nice and toned. I wish I didn't have as much flab so I had her shape!"
In short, I don't think you're gay. I think you're young and buying into the media, which is very easy to fall into with how much it's pushed upon us. Relax and be happy with your boyfriend. Work on the relationship. Work on the sex.
No reason to want to experiment. You're being fed by the media that you're suppose to like that kiss and whatnot. If you buy into needing to "try" things out then you'll buy into it being oh-so-wonderful.
You can have great sex with your male partner. There is no need to say, "Wow, my boyfriend and I suck in bed together! I MUST BE GAY!" That makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.
If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
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Iam 15 female &een dating my boyfriend for a year and i think it's about time for us to be sexual but i don't want to have actual sex and i want to know of somethings that we can do to each other without having sctual intercourse.
please don't try to talk me out of it. (link)
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I know it's your body and your choice, but, honestly, is this something you really want to do? Mind you, I am not talking you out of this, but I am informing you.
If you're not ready to have sex then you're not ready to have any kind of sex.
Sex, any sex, brings consequences. A blow job can leave you with oral gonorrhea, oral HPV, herpes, etc. A hand-job can leave you with HPV on the hands and in the nailbeds that can travel to your vagina when you are washing (and this also applies to herpes).
Virgins have STDs too. If you check around some forums for people with STDs you will notice a surprising number of people who have transmitted their STD to their infant. The infant will unknowingly grow up so use to the symptoms of the incurable STD that they will be clueless that it is transmittable.
When I was researching some herpes facts I found that a many number of parents transferred their herpes onto the genitals of their newborn during diaper changes. Some women also pass the virus along to an unborn child as it is passing through the vaginal canal. This is why they are instructed to take a course of herpes treatment pills (remember, it is not curable, the pills only help to relieve some symptoms) in hopes the woman does not experience an outbreak during labor--when it would be easier for the baby to contract.
It is also very common for babies to be born with AIDs in Africa. The blood that naturally comes from the woman during labor usually will transmit the disease to the infant. Again, the baby will grow so accustomed to their disease that they aren't even fully aware that they have contracted something very serious.
The only way to know if you are completely clean from STDs is to have a complete blood test done. Even then, herpes can be hidden within the body unless it is currently broken out into a blister.
Many parents are so ashamed that they have spread their disease that they do not tell the child about the seriousness of it. Many parents also kiss their young children on the lips occassionally and may spread things like herpes this way and some children do not even remember being kissed by a parent--I know this for a fact.
I also want to take note that condoms so a very poor job in helping to prevent the spread of STD/STIs. Seriously, if you're concerned about your health then you should have yourself and your partner screened for illnesses before engaging in activities. Many, many people contract STDs/STIs from engaging in sex with condoms. Condoms aren't really for preventing the spread of such things--they are only meant to be a barrier from sperm entering the vagina. This being said, it does not cover the entire genital region and, let's face it, STDs usually do.
Condoms are only 88% effective (typical usage) on preventing pregnancy. That means that out of every 100 sexual encounters between people, 12 women will become pregnant.
The hormonal birth control pill isn't much better either. It's about 92% effective for typical usage--remember, the 99% they tell you if for PERFECT usage--are we perfect beings? Nope! So, that means that out of every 100 sex encounters, 8 babies will be conceived.
The "pull-out" method is only about 75% highest effective on preventing pregnancy. The number actually fluctuates between 30% and 75%.
All percentages for future reference because once you start, you'll go further pretty quickly.
The problem is this:
If your relationship NEEDS sex to prove love, or to spice things up for interest reasons, then sex is going to break the relationship.
Married couples simply do not have the problems that other sexual partners do. Married couples never fear they're being used or will be left. They're able to open up and tell each other what they desire without fear. They know that if a pregnancy happens that they will get through it together with each other's support. They also aren't fearful of catching an STD from their partner because they know they're their only partner. Both partners tend to be fully satisfied because they're able to communicate well with each other and they're able to feel emotionally secure.
How could you forgive a partner for transmitting an STD to you? How could you get over feeling "forced" into intercourse one evening when things got heated? There are too many factors that will add a load of pressure on you relationship, and could break it down in a matter of days.
My suggestion for the time being is simply this:
Make memories of your youth.
When you're older you'll have something to say. Your grandchildren will all sit around, wanting you to tell them about the time you and grandpa went out and did this and that. They'll come to you advice on how to make their own relationships work and you'll be able to say, "It isn't about having sex. It isn't about saying you're going to marry them. It's about life, love, and making lasting memories together."
Wouldn't you two like to look back years down the road and have giggles about the silly things you remember and the good times you had during the week? You'll be able to tell your future friends and possible children and grandchildren all about the neat things you two used to do together.
I feel sad that a lot of the teenagers now won't have a "how we met" story other than, "We met at a party and starting making out and had sex." I feel sad that teenagers will have to say, "I was engaged to 3 guys before he asked me and we got married." I feel sad that they won't have anything to say about what they did together other than, "Well, we we could see each other, we had sex. Sometimes with a condom, sometimes without. We had a few pregnancy scares." I feel sad that they will have to tell their own children things like, "No, your mother/father wasn't my first sexually. I lost my virginity when I was 13 to this one guy/girl. I had been with 13 people prior to your mother/father."
Go roller-blading.
See concerts.
Go to the park and watch old people in love.
Lay on the ground and look at the clouds.
Go on movie dates.
Share a milkshake.
Read books together.
Go have a few double-dates with your best friend.
Volunteer together.
Talk to strangers together and see if you can help brighten their day.
Help each other grow.
Don't worry about sex.
The time will come when that will be important.
The time is not now.
Be 15.
Be 16.
Be 17.
Be 18.
Enjoy your youth while you can, and look back to laugh and smile at the good, wholesome memories.
Make good, lasting memories of the short period of time you get to be together. It may seem like having sex is a big deal and you'll remember it forever but you two, most likely, won't as the years go by. Everyone does it. It isn't special.
For a final note, by engaging in sexual activity (not intercourse) you will be putting yourself in a situation to lose your virginity. Things will escalate and you WILL lose your virginity. It happens to the best of us. You put yourself out there and you may end up making poorer choices in the heat of the moment that you will highly regret.
I do hope that you reconsider and make the right choices for this stage of your life. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
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I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year and a half now. He's 15, and I'm 14. Lately, it seems like he is loosing interest in me. He is in AP classes, on the soccer team, and in band. I feel like I'm never at the top of his list of priorities anymore. I need a cute but fun way to spice things up and get him more interested. Maybe if we have sex, he'll be excited about me again? I'm not really sure what to do. Help? (link)
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Sex is not going to solve your problem at all. It, most likely, will only worsen things. It did for me when I was your age.
You see, I was dating this guy for awhile when I was your age. He seemed nice and I thought I loved him. He seemed to care about me, or so I thought. A little ways into the relationship we started to have sex. You THINK sex will bring you closer, but it doesn't at all, especially if you're too young to handle the situation in a mature way. He became extremely aggressive. Sure, he was more "interested in me"--but he wasn't really. He didn't care about WHO I was or WHAT I was--but he wanted to control every second of my life. He seemed normal when we started going out but shortly after we had sex he became insane. He started calling me non-stop just to say, "Are you home?" before hearing me answer and hanging up. He got angry when I talked to friends. I wasn't "allowed" to leave my house unless I confirmed it with him and he accepted it. I could not make ANY of my own decisions and I simply was not allowed to communicate with anyone other than my mother, father, and him. It wasn't so great. I was stuck. I was scared.
You see, sex brings about a whole new handful of worries. You worry about condoms and if they broke. You worry if you took the pill on time. You worry if that 2 minutes without a condom mattered. You worry if you'll want to do it and find you don't have condoms. You worry he will leave you. You worry you might be pregnant at 14. You worry about way too many things.
See, married couples simply do not have the problems that other sexual partners do. Married couples never fear they're being used or will be left. They're able to open up and tell each other what they desire without fear. They know that if a pregnancy happens that they will get through it together with each other's support. They also aren't fearful of catching an STD from their partner because they know they're their only partner. Both partners tend to be fully satisfied because they're able to communicate well with each other and they're able to feel emotionally secure.
I'm really proud of you two that you haven't given into peer pressure for over a year, but I must ask--why do you think sex is going to magically mend something that is breaking?
You two should be making lasting memories that you can share when you're 80. Memories that you'll look back and be able to tell grand-children, "I remember when your grandfather and I..."
The first time is not going to feel good for the woman. It hardly ever does. The problem is this:
If your relationship NEEDS sex to prove love, or spice things up, then sex is going to break the relationship. Sex is not what people claim it is and that's why many people sleep around. Those people sleeping around are looking for that oh-so-wonderful sex they were told about and figure it must come along somewhere.
I know people who have broken up with boyfriends/girlfriends because the sex wasn't good. Seriously. I am not kidding. I have heard of many people saying how in love they are, but after having sex they become obsessed with sex and end up breaking up because the love fades off and all that is there is desire.
Sex can break a couple sometimes and I'm sure you don't want that. I've seen couples break up because they just weren't compatible in the bed (someone was too shy, someone had a kink, someone didn't like something the other loved, etc). Those couples made too big of a deal out of it. They wanted sparks to fly and for it to be special and perfect and when it wasn't what they expected they were highly disappointed.
Seriously, please reconsider.
Think of the serious consequences that your relationship may end up having to go through if you begin engaging in sex. One of these is pregnancy costs, scares, expenses:
http://www.surebaby.com/costs.php
One of the risks to put your relationship through is STDs/STIs, which people CAN be BORN with (YES, virgins may have STDs too!):
http://www.ashastd.org/learn/learn_statistics.cfm
How could you forgive a partner for transmitting an STD to you? How could you get over getting pregnant and giving birth to a mentally ill child? What happens if the relationship gets rocky and a pregnancy occurs--what happens then? There are too many factors that will add a load of pressure on you relationship, and could break it down in a matter of days.
I feel sad that a lot of the teenagers now won't have a "how we met" story other than, "We met at a party and starting making out and had sex." I feel sad that teenagers will have to say, "I was engaged to 3 guys before he asked me and we got married." I feel sad that they won't have anything to say about what they did together other than, "Well, we we could see each other, we had sex. Sometimes with a condom, sometimes without. We had a few pregnancy scares." I feel sad that they will have to tell their own children things like, "No, your mother/father wasn't my first sexually. I lost my virginity when I was 13 to this one guy/girl. I had been with 13 people prior to your mother/father."
Go roller-blading.
See concerts.
Go to the park and watch old people in love.
Lay on the ground and look at the clouds.
Go on movie dates.
Share a milkshake.
Read books together.
Go have a few double-dates with your best friend.
Volunteer together.
Talk to strangers together and see if you can help brighten their day.
Help each other grow.
Don't worry about sex.
The time will come when that will be important.
The time is not now.
Be 14.
Be 15.
Be 16.
Be 17.
Be 18.
Enjoy your youth while you can, and look back to laugh and smile at the good, wholesome memories.
Make good, lasting memories of the short period of time you get to be together. It may seem like having sex is a big deal and you'll remember it forever but you two, most likely, won't as the years go by. Everyone does it. It isn't special. It's not at all what you think it will be.
Wouldn't you two like to look back years down the road and have giggles about the silly things you remember and the good times you had during the week? You'll be able to tell your future friends and possible children and grandchildren all about the neat things you two used to do together.
If you make him interested in you by having sex with them then is he REALLY interested in YOU or sex? Do you see what I'm saying? It doesn't mean he cares any more about you than he did 10 minutes before the sex. Sex is sex. Anyone can have sex. YOU are the only one like you.
You should not be in a rush to have sex. You have plenty of years ahead of you. Anyone can have sex. Lots of people have sex with each other every day and don't have the slightest bit of care for their sexual partner. Having sex isn't proving anything to anybody.
Here is a link about some things you should think about before engaging in sex. Even if you're dead set on losing your virginity, it's still really interesting to look at. The site really makes you think about things you overlooked before:
http://www.tagnet.org/adventist.fm/youth/virgin.htm
Here is also a link on some things about virginity. I think it has some neat points and gives examples to explain what they're talking about:
http://www.prolife.com/LICKONA.htm
I hope you reconsider and choose to do the right thing. If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
P.S. Condoms are only 88% effective with TYPICAL usage. Hormonal birth control pills are only actually about 93% with TYPICAL usage. The pull-out method is about 75% effective if done in the typical manner. Do you really want to risk your relationship?
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I am a 21 year old female with a 10 month old daughter. Her father and I broke up for a period of 3 months, and during that time, both him and I have been with other sexual partners. As ashamed as I am, I had unprotected sex for just a few minutes(I know time doesn't matter) and he also did. I'm not sure of exactly what he did, because I do not want to know for emotional reasons, however, do need to know for health reasons. I do know he slept with someone unprotected. I got tested for STD's 2 and a half months after these incidents occurred and me and him were sleeping together again. I tested positive for Chlamydia and took antibiotics immediately to cure it. HIV came up negative but it was only at 2 and a half months testing. I've read alot about HIV and usually, as I read, conclusive results will come back by 10 weeks( exactly 2 and a half months ). They reccommend waiting until 3 months and then again at 6 to be sure. I read it is very rare to get a negative at 3 months and positive at 6 but it does happen to a small percentage of people. I just got tested today for it again, which will be my 3 month mark. I suffer from anxiety attacks as it is and am extremely worried about the results. I know I already tested at 2 and a half months and I read all different things(some say 6-10 weeks, some say as early as 2 weeks, some say 3 months) ...everyones body is different so at different times it will read the antibodies in the test. However, I cannot relax about this. I know alot of people worry about it after testing, but I am extremely worried. It is all I think about and I will know the results Friday but I'm really really scared I have it. We have had risky sex with other people these past few months now knowing their sexual status. I have already beat myself up over this many times and definately learned my lesson, but I can't shake this worry. I am distant from my boyfriend and am so scared if I have it, it will ruin my child's life. I may be overthinking this, but I am terrified for Friday and the doctor saying I am HIV positive. HIV is more common than society thinks, however, it is still a rare disease. I guess my question is, do you have any advice on how I can relax and ensure myself that I do not have HIV since it already came up neg after 2 and a half months? (link)
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The truth of the matter is you need to get tested for HIV/AIDs every 6 months for 10 years. No joke. This is not to be taken lightly under no circumstances. This is the health of you, your partner, and your future children that we're talking about. Get tested every 6 months for at least 10 years.
You have every right to be anxious about the results. You NEED to be nervous about this. You did a bad thing. You were not using your brain. Consequences happen, as you well know. You shouldn't be looking for, "How do I ease my mind after almost 3 months?" You should be asking for, "Should I take more than one HIV/AIDs test every 6 months just to ensure the safety of myself and my partner?"
You need to have your partner tested.
If he did not take the prescribed medicine for chlamydia then you two are just going to throw it back and forth. It isn't going to magically go away at any point. Even if he was tested and showed negative he needs to be tested again.
STDs are very, very common. Here are some very scary statistics:
http://www.ashastd.org/learn/learn_statistics.cfm
HIV antibodies can have a much longer of a window than 2 and 1/2 months. The standard time of the window is usually actually 3 months in the beginning. It's more common than you know that people come back positive after those 3 months, which is why the 6 month period is pressed so much (think of this: if it isn't THAT common, then why do they keep mentioning it?). This means you get tested after 3 months of that sexual encounter, then 3 months after that, then 6 months, then 6 months, then 6 months, etc. Get tested until you can no longer stand it, and then get tested again.
The "window" between exposure and the amount of antibodies produced really varies from person to person. Sometimes this varies wildly. I clearly remember a man who had not had sexual relations for 10 long years and suddenly he became ill. He went for tests for this and that and found that he had HIV/AIDs. He had been tested years prior to that and had always came back negative. It was a big news story and it shocked a lot of people.
Take note that if you, for some stupid reason, decide to not get tested again then you may still develop AIDs with no symptoms:
"More persistent or severe symptoms may not surface for 10 years or more after HIV first enters the body in adults, and within 2 years in children born with HIV. This period of "asymptomatic" infection is variable, however, and can depend on many factors, including a person's health status and their health-related behaviors. Some people may begin to have symptoms in as soon as a few months, whereas others may be symptom-free for more than 10 years. During the asymptomatic period, however, HIV is actively infecting and killing cells of the immune system."
http://www.brown.edu/Student_Services/Health_Services/Health_Education/sexual_health/sti/aids.htm
Keep in mind this:
You are wanted to be unhealthy. Media keeps telling 13 year old girls to have sex to become popular. Media tells people that using condoms always makes sex safe. Media tells people that if they "accidentally" become pregnant then they can throw the life away with no repercussions. Media keeps pushing that sex is no big deal, feel-good, and that nothing bad can come of it in the long run. Is any of this actually true? No. Hell no.
Media will tell you that STDs are really bad and every where, but that if you get tested once or twice then you're safe. That isn't so true, of course. There is a reason why decently SMART people in open relationships get tested every 3 to 6 months. There is a reason why swingers get tested every 3 to 6 months even if they haven't had sexual relations in that time. There is a reason why retired porn stars STILL get tested every 3 to 6 months for YEARS after their career has ended. There is a reason why the doctor asks how many sexual partners you've had so they can estimate mentally how high your risk has been.
If someone had sex with you for 5 seconds, unprotected, that you didn't know so well--how many other people have been with that person? What about the people who have been with each person this specific man has been with? I would be that number would be a lot greater than 20. Do you really think there is a small chance? I don't.
HIV/AIDs will ruin your life.
It will ruin your child's life.
It will ruin your partner's life.
It will ruin the guy you had relations with for a few seconds.
It will ruin your entire world, one person at a time.
Your friends will be worried.
Your parents will be worried.
You'll be ill and won't be able to tend to things properly.
Your friends and family will become ill with worry.
Get tested every 6 months for 10 years. THAT is what you NEED to do. Nothing is going to ease your mind unless you cut out your conscience completely. Don't let people say, "Oh, don't worry about it! You're safe!" Those SAME people had sex with 3 people when they were 13 for fun. Those SAME people don't use condoms but have had over 10 partners. Those SAME people do not get tested regularly and may be spreading an illness to many people. Those SAME people are self-centered, and as long as they have a good time, they don't care about you.
Keep getting tested.
If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me!
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i don't wanna know the risks.. && yahdy yahda.
if you fall down the stirs when you are pregnant, &&the baby dies.
1)how can you tell?
&&
2)do you just leave it there, or how does it go away?
i'd prefer answers other than "go to a doctor" caz i know that's really the answer, but without a doctor, is there any way of telling. (link)
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The reason that people are hospitalized because of a miscarriage is because it can be very fatal. Falling down a flight of stairs can be EXTREMELY hurtful to your body. It's more likely that you would hemorrhage (bleed) to death, especially if you're anemic.
Yes, you can lose a baby by falling down a flight of stairs. You can also very well lose your own life. One bump to the head in the right manner and your life could be completely over. If not that, you could be left with broken bones and serious bruises. Many people die from simple accidents like that.
If a pregnant woman really did fall down a flight of stairs and the baby did die then her body already began to expel the tissues and such. The doctors will go in and scrap out the inside of her uterus in HOPES that she doesn't get an infection or be left with scar tissue (scar tissue would make the woman infertile for the rest of her days). She would still bleed just as much, if not much more because of the seriousness of the matter, from falling down stairs as having an abortion. She would bleed for weeks probably--just like an abortion--only she may suffer some more pain because of the injuries.
It would be likely she suffer a lot of internal bleeding so she may bleed excessively or have to be hospitalized for a lengthy period of time because of the internal and external bleeding.
As a note, the baby isn't just going to magically POP out of the woman and lay on the bottom of the stairs. The baby has attached to the inside of the woman so the woman's body will have to expel in. If the baby is large then the doctor has to go in and manually pull the body out. If the baby is small the woman's body will try to expel it and the woman may see chunks of flesh coming out of her body over a period of weeks. This is why a doctor is absolutely needed.
For further note, there have been cases in which a baby has died in the womb and the mother's body does not realize it so it does not expel it. Take note that this is extremely dangerous and you can die from poisoning from it. It can lead to major, MAJOR health complications later in life, if you live through it all.
Any way it is, when a woman loses a baby--abortion, miscarriage, accident, etc.--it is extremely risky. Accidents are probably the most riskiest followed by an actual abortion. Purposely miscarrying means you damaged your body so much that it can no longer function properly. When your body cannot function properly you, of course, lose a baby--but your life is then in jeopardy too and a visit to the hospital is ALWAYS required, even if the fall was accidental.
Stop trying to kill your own baby and start acting like a grown-up. You made grown-up choices and now it's time to figure out how you're going to deal with them.
You do not need to murder your unborn child.
Adoption is completely available and it costs NOTHING.
Hell, you can even leave a newborn at a hospital and you won't be questioned or anything. It is LEGAL to just up and leave your newborn in the hospital if you don't want it.
Regarding your pregnancy: Your parents WILL get over it.
Your partner WILL get over it--even if they do not support you! There are MANY women who make it as a single mother.
There is no reason to stop another's life because you're too selfish to let it interfere with yours. Your baby did NOTHING wrong! He/she did not choose to be created. He/she did not decide it was smart for you to be having sex when you weren't ready to deal with possible consequences.
Do not take an innocent life.
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Iam 19 years old and i had sex about 3 weeks ago and i think i may be pregnant and i know i won't be able to take care of a baby by myself even though iam 19 years old my mind delveloped mentally is not 19 it is more like 12 so basically iam a 12 year old in a 19 year old body and i moved out of my mom's house after i graduated with a special education deploma and i moved in with my cousin but iam afraid if i tell my cousin that i had unprotected sex and i think i may be pregnant she'll kick me out even though we are really close and everything and i don't think she'd do that but i've don't so many things in the past that have hurt her like i use to steal ciggerates from her but i quit stealing them from her and i quit smoking all together and she said if i did one more thing that hurt her that she would be threw with me and i don't know if this would be considering hurting her to and iam really scared we won't have the same relationship as we do now if i tell her that i migt be pregnant becouse we are like sisters.
please help me. (link)
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Your cousin is going to be hurt because you did not make responsible decisions. Smoking and stealing are both very bad and she knows that so when you stole the cigarettes she was very disappointed in you. When she finds out that you had sex, she will be upset, but it will pass in time.
This time you made a really, really big mistake. You may have created another life by making this mistake. Having sex and getting pregnant is a much bigger deal than stealing a pack of cigarettes, in my opinion.
First you need to sit down with your cousin and tell her about what happened. Tell her exactly what happened. Let her know that you had sex and are afraid you may be pregnant. She will help you find the right kind of pregnancy test or take you to the appropriate doctor to have a pregnancy test done for you. The sooner you find out if you ARE pregnant, the sooner you can start taking special vitamins for the baby so it will be healthy.
You NEED to tell your cousin now so she can help you right away.
I'm sure your cousin isn't going to kick you out, but I know she's going to be hurt that you make an irresponsible decision. When you tell her that you had sex and feel that you may be pregnant let her know that you KNOW you cannot raise the baby and have decided that adoption is best (because it is in this situation). You can even ask her if she will help you find good parents to adopt your baby so the baby will have the best life possible.
It's okay if she gets mad as long as you have learned your lesson. Your cousin SHOULD be upset because she trusted you to make good choices and you didn't. She'll obviously be upset but that doesn't mean she doesn't love you as a sister. I'm sure she'll calm down after she realizes that things are already being settled and that you're going to go to the doctor, be healthy, and give the baby up for adoption.
Be prepared for your cousin to be really stressed at first. She'll probably think she has to raise your baby too and I'm sure she doesn't have a easy life (most people don't have easy lives), whether you realize that or not. Apologize to her for what you've done and, like I said, learn your lesson! Do not do this again. Do not put yourself in a situation where you could get pregnant again.
Even if you use a condom, you can get pregnant.
Even if you use birth control pills, you can get pregnant.
Even if the penis only went inside of you for 2 seconds, you can get pregnant.
Please stop having sex and do the responsible thing now with your pregnancy. Have your cousin help you find a good adoption agency for your baby and go from there. In time your cousin will forgive you. In time your cousin might trust you again.
1. Tell your cousin right away.
2. Let her help you take the appropriate pregnancy test.
3. Tell her you've already planned to give the baby up for adoption and that you know you made a big mistake.
4. Let her help you find good parents to adopt your baby.
5. Learn this lesson now so you don't end up in the same situation later. Your cousin isn't going to easily forgive you twice for this. You only get one shot at learning this lesson.
I hope your discussion with your cousin goes well. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
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Iam 19 years old but i don't have the mind of a 19 year old i have a mind of a 12 year old so basically iam a 12 year old in a 19 year old body and i am having a baby and iam scared half out of my mind becouse i live with my cousin and since i know becouse of my learning disability i wouldn't be able to take care of a baby by myself and i moved out of my mom's house and moved in with my cousin and she wouldn't be able to help me becouse she has enough problems of her own trying to raise a 17 year old autistis son without trying to help me raise mine what shousld i do please help me. (link)
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I understand your problem and I'm sure a lot of young women are in your same situation--mentally not able to handle raising a child.
If you are pregnant you need to look into putting the child up for adoption, plain and simple. You simply cannot raise a child until it's grown and you know this is not your cousin's burden to carry. I know deep inside you might like to have this baby and try to care for it but to a certain point you are just unable to. Your job now is to give the baby the best things you can, which means finding fit parents. Please keep that in mind.
There are lots of reliable adoption agencies out there now. Some of these agencies will even let you meet possible parents. Get in touch with some and tell them your situation--you are mentally handicap and are pregnant, unable to raise the child properly, and are searching for good parents to give the baby the best life possible. There is someone out there that desperately wants your baby already.
You can contact an adoption agency in your area or you can relinquish [give up] your rights to your child and place it in the custody of the state for adoption. I've read something about Volunteers of America for adoptions being really good but I have no personal experience with them myself. Here is a link directing you to their site:
http://www.voagno.org/Services/ChildrenYouthFamilies/AdoptionServices/tabid/1238/Default.aspx
So, you need to start going to the doctor (OB/GYN) for pregnant women so they can keep a check on your baby and your health. You'll need to take some vitamins they give you--prenatal vitamins--to make sure your baby will be healthier. Eat right and exercise lightly so your delivery will go smoothly. Try to walk around the block a time or two each day so that you and your baby stay healthy and your delivery goes by quickly.
The healthier your baby is, the more likely people will want to adopt him or her right away. Most couples looking to adopt want a baby--newborn if possible. Sure, if the baby is born with a handicap he/she will still, most likely, find parents--but you want to try to give the baby the best chance at life by keeping yourself healthy with the doctor visits, exercise, and vitamins.
Even if you're not going to keep the baby you need to be a good mother by staying healthy. Mentally you cannot raise this baby--but physically you can help it grow right now. Please give your baby the best life you can by staying healthy during pregnancy and finding him/her a good home with good parents who can raise him/her.
Please do not choose to have an abortion. Abortion can be really, really hard on your body and you may never recover physically or mentally. You can be left with scars and it can lead to major depression. If you need more information about this, send me a question in my inbox and I will supply you lots of information as to why abortion is very unhealthy for women (and deadly in some cases).
Sex means you're going to make babies. I know a lot of teens now have sex and think nothing of it--but sex is really meant for us to make babies. Please reconsider your actions and do other things with your time that do not put you in this situation. You need to protect yourself from diseases too. Lots of people have them and don't even know it. Do you know that about 80% of the US has herpes? You really don't want to risk getting these sorts of illnesses.
So this is what you need to do:
1. Start going to the doctor regularly.
2. Try to exercise lightly and eat right.
3. Find an appropriate adoption agency.
4. Learn this lesson. Stop having sex.
If you don't learn this right now then you're going to get yourself into a big mess. Sex means making babies--even if you use a condom, even if you're on birth control pills, even if the penis only went in your body once. Babies come when sex happens. Babies don't know that you're not ready for them. Babies don't know if you're able to raise them or not. Babies just know that when you have sex they are created.
I'd hate for you to go through life doing this over and over. Imagine getting pregnant 10 times in your lifetime and having to put each and every baby up for adoption because of your disability. That would be a really sad life. Please learn this now, find your baby a good home, and stop choosing to do things that may lead to making babies.
I wish you luck on the next nine months. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
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15/female/sophomore in high school
Lately I feel so stressed to the max, like I'm to the point of breaking. The new school year just started a few weeks ago, and I already feel like I'm drowning in most all of my classes. I've always thought of myself as smart, but it just seems that my new classes (which are all either Honors or AP) are just too hard for me- basically impossible. I can hardly ever focus on my work, and if I even try I don't understand what to do- which prompts me to lose focus again.
I've missed four days of school already, all of which have been because of working so late into the night (it takes forever for me to complete my work, since it's so difficult for me) that I either don't get it all done (and repercussions for unfinished homework are brutal in all of these advanced classes) or I'm simply too tired and feel awful the next morning.
I had a similar problem last year, which caused me to get way behind in school and miss 30 days. I ended up making it all up with all A's and B's, and began to feel fine just like I did before high school started over the summer, but as soon as school started again last month all my issues came rushing back to me, despite my vows that this year would be better.
These problems have had affected my mental health in strange ways. I find myself crying all the time over the littlest things, I can't find any motivation to do what I know I must at times, I'm always feeling nostalgic towards the times when school wasn't so impossible for me, and I hardly ever do anything social anymore. School just seems like a giant looming tower whose shadow I constantly live in, threatening to crash into my unstable life. I think I may be depressed, but I have no idea what to do about it.
My mother is at her wit's end with this whole scenario. I don't think she fully understands how I feel- to her, I simply am too lazy to do my work, and would rather stay home and watch TV all day. She's been resorting to a somewhat "tough love" approach, which is in all honesty making my situation worse. I know she's trying to help, but I don't think she understands (nor wants to understand) what I'm going through. I'm not sure she would even listen if I told her everything from the paragraph above- she would just start screaming and tell me that the only thing I can do is just be normal and do what I need to do.
I really think I need to look into alternative options besides traditional schooling. High school really isn't working out for me, but I have a lot I want to do with my life, and dropping out is absolutely not an option I even want to think about. Of course, I really do think that there is also something wrong with my mental state that needs taking care of, though I have no idea how. I just need some help to get my life back on some sort of track (even if it is a slightly non-traditional track) so I can start living the kind of life I want to live. (link)
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It really sounds like you've been pushing yourself too hard with all of these AP/Honors classes. I remember when I first went to high school my counselor said, "Only take ONE this year...if you do okay this year then you can take two or three next year, depending on how difficult the first class was for you."
Last year you admit to having difficulties in your AP and Honors classes. There is no shame in having "regular" classes. Maybe you're just an average student after all. Maybe ALL upper classes is just too much for you to handle. Again, there is no shame in taking some average classes.
High school would work for you just fine if you didn't make it so difficult on yourself. Please consider speaking to your counselor about dropping down to a few "regular" classes. It is probably still available this early in the school year if you and your mother both express concern about it. Trust me, if your mother really pushes for it, they can make this happen, most likely.
Your mental state would be just fine if you didn't push yourself to your limits. Challenges are great--but this is OBVIOUSLY too much for you to handle right now. You're young and you already have a lot on your plate without all of your courses being AP/Honors. It's good to take a challenging course or two--but even in college the counselors advise to only take one or two at time so you aren't so stressed out.
If you're stubborn and simply cannot deal with having a few "regular" classes then you NEED a tutor for EVERY SINGLE class and to see a counselor regularly for stress management. I mean it. You sound like if you want to continue this then you will absolutely NEED a person to sit down with you one-on-one every evening to help with homework in each class, and see a therapist on weekends to help yourself learn how to deal with that sort of stress. I'm positive that the therapist would advise the same as I am though--drop down a few classes, maybe not all, but enough to let yourself be a normal 15 year old.
Stress causes some crazy things, such as depression and anxiety problems. It makes you feel worthless and the more stress you have, the less work you can get done correctly. By being this stressed, you are only jeopardizing your work and mental state--you would make better grades easier and feel better mentally if you weren't spreading yourself out too thin over these high school courses. Stress can really cause you to completely fail out of high school if you allow yourself to continue doing things like this. Stress is very bad and you DEFINITELY do not want to go through your teenage years teaching yourself that a high stress situation is needed to be a decent person because that is not true at all.
So...
1. Decide which courses you REALLY want to take AP/Honors in. Make sure you can devote extra time to them. Two or three would really be enough, more than that is going to hold you back.
2. Talk to school counselor about dropping down to mostly regular courses. Explain why. Have your mother express her concerns in person to said counselor.
3. Find a tutor (or tutors) for the AP/Honors classes you have chosen to take in case you run into some trouble. Two heads are better than one in a stressful situation. Even if you end up with only 2 AP or Honors courses you may end up having a hard week trying to get projects finished and prepare for tests.
4. Be 15. Relax and enjoy being 15 right now. Go out, see movies, hang around with good friends, and have a date or two every now and again. You do NOT need to be stressing out right now like you are.
I know you may feel stupid having to drop down but, in reality, a lot of students probably feel the same way, and much like they are stuck in the same situation. Making straight As in normal classes is something to be proud of. Having to miss 30 days because AP/Honors classes are getting to you is not to be taken lightly. This is serious. Your friends will understand. The school isn't going to laugh at you. Nobody will really thing any less of you if you just drop down some classes for your own health and well-being.
I do hope you take my advice so you can have a good teenage/young-adult life. If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
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Can you get oral herpes from sharing food with someone? I was sharing a piece of pizza with my friend earlier today and now I have a couple of cold sores? Or could it be caused from suckers, because I've been sucking on them for the past couple of days? (link)
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Cold sores are always oral herpes (usually strain HSV-1 while genital herpes is usually strain HSV-2).
Although many people claim that you cannot transmit herpes by silverware or eating and drinking after each other it is really quite common.
Herpes is very, very common now:
"...one in six adults have genital herpes. It is estimated that over 80 million Americans have herpes of one form or another. This means that 8 in 10 Americans are or will become infected."
http://www.genital-herpes-simplex.com/
...which would mean about 80% of the American population has herpes!
Most people have regular outbreaks but it is possible to go years in between them. Most people also show signs of contracting HSV-1/2 about 10 to 14 days after but there are occasions where some do not have outbreaks for years. The first outbreak usually is the most severe of them. If you shared pizza and contracted oral herpes earlier today then you, most likely, wouldn't be showing the symptoms yet. It is possible that you had contracted this virus years prior and have gone a lengthy period of time without an outbreak. It's rare, but there are some people that have gone over 10 years without having an outbreak.
The only way you can truly know if you have herpes is to visit a doctor while having a visible outbreak so they can test it. They may scrap the area and take your blood. The blood may show antibodies for the specific strain of herpes. I highly suggest you get this done immediately so that you can prevent spreading it to boyfriends/girlfriends you may have later.
You would be astonished by the number of people who have accidentally given their child herpes (type 1 and/or 2) just by changing the baby's diaper. It's so contagious it's frightening. It is possible that at some point someone around you was infected and kissed you on the lips, thus allowing it to be spread to you.
Babies can also definately be born with herpes. If the mother experiences an outbreak during labor then there are high chances the baby will contract the virus. The baby also may be blind or end up with ocular herpes since it passes through the vaginal canal and the eyes may come in contact with the sores/infected areas.
I know someone who got herpes when she was a very, very young girl. She says she remembers her first outbreak pretty clearly but has no recollection of being kissed on the mouth by her mother, someone who had frequent outbreaks. She says the most she can figure was that she drank or ate after her mother and contracted it that way.
The more you stress, the more likely you are to experience an outbreak. Try to relax and tend to your body now. It is important to do everything you can to boost your immune system to decrease outbreaks. You should begin avoiding chocolate and sunlight, as both can trigger severe outbreaks. If you currently smoke, please try to quit so that your immune system raises again. This could be a reason why you've suddenly experienced an outbreak.
You also need to make sure to wash your hands thoroughly after touching the area around the sore. You CAN spread it to other places on your body. It may spread on it's own, but it'd be a shame to see you back saying you touched your eye after you touched the sore and now have contracted ocular herpes. You should take every precaution you can to not spread it to other areas of your body or to other people.
Please know that you can also spread your oral herpes to a partner's genitals if you engage in oral stimulation. You can spread it even if you are currently not having an outbreak.
In short, many people have herpes that have never had sex before. Many innocent people have never even kissed anyone before and have herpes because of adults in their life that didn't take extreme precautions to prevent transmitting the virus to their infant. Many parents are so ashamed of this that they do not bother to actually tell their child that the outbreak is not normal and that it's an STD they have to live with forever.
This all being said, it is possible you had herpes long before this outbreak and were unaware of it, especially at the young age of 15. Please take precautions to protect other people (do not eat or drink after others and try to avoid kissing, especially during an outbreak). Your best bet to go to the doctor and be tested.
Be aware that if you spread herpes to someone else they CAN sue you. This means an innocent kiss can turn into an ugly mess if the person can prove they did not have herpes before they kissed you.
If you have any more questions regarding this sort of thing PLEASE feel free to ask me! :)
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im 17 years old and pregnant. i just moved 900 miles away from my boyfriend and he came to visit me over the summer and thats when it happened. my mom doesnt want me to get an abortion because she doesnt believe in it. and my boyfriend and i know that were not ready to supply for a kid. so, my only option here would be adoption right? the thing is... i cant even imagene doing that. has anyone else been in my position? i mean i know i have to do whats best for me and the baby but giving up someone like that just seems impossible (link)
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I feel immensely disappointed that you blame your mother for not allowing you to have an abortion. You should have those same respectful decisions for yourself. Your mother is right. Abortion can be fatal for some women, and deteriorating mentally and physically for others. Please consider taking the pro-life stand with your mother. I can supply a whole lot of information as to why nobody should agree with abortion. If you are interested, please send me an inbox question and I will get enough material to you to help you decide which side is wisest.
Think about the life the child now. Yes, you were selfish and did not consider this major consequence (pregnancy) but you don't have to be any more selfish than you already have been. Even if you're not able to give him/her the best life, someone out there can. When couples look to adopt, they tend to look for infants anyway. If you decide to take this child's life and end it before it even gets started, you destroy what chance they had at being something.
Adoption is always an option of yours if you are not physically, mentally, or financially capable of caring for another human life. Please look into it if you feel you can carry the child but not raise it properly. You can contact an adoption agency in your area or you can relinquish your rights of your child and place it in the custody of the state for adoption. I've read something about Volunteers of America for adoptions being really good but I have no personal experience with them myself. Here is a link directing you to their site:
http://www.voagno.org/Services/ChildrenYouthFamilies/AdoptionServices/tabid/1238/Default.aspx
Just as another note, some agencies actually let the expecting party interact with possible parents to ensure they are giving their child the best chance at life as possible. You may want to look into those agencies to help find your child good, loving parents. It may even be possible for you to work out a way that you can still be in the child's life lightly as they grow so you're aware of their progress.
You do not need to murder your unborn child for any reason.
Adoption is completely available and it costs NOTHING.
Hell, you can even leave a newborn at a hospital and you won't be questioned or anything. It is LEGAL to just up and leave your newborn in the hospital if you don't want it.
I hope that things calm down for you and you figure out a way to give your child the life he/she deserves. If you have any more questions regarding this subject, please feel free to ask me. :)
P.S. If you're not ready to make and raise babies then maybe you should re-think having sexual relations. Seriously, there was no surprise that sex made babies so, of course, you being pregnant wasn't that big of a shock to you. Please reconsider your actions from now on so you're not in this same situation down the road.
Also, "safe" sex is not safe. Condoms are 88% effective with typical usage. Hormonal birth control (the pill) is only 92% effective with typical usage. Neither protect against STDs. Do you really think you should risk it from now on?
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I havent had my period for 2 months, I usually get it every month on the 25th. A month ago I had light bleeding(not my period, I know for sure) and I vomited 1 time, but after that I got no other symptoms, they just went away. I've taken at least 4 Crystal Clear pregnancy tests and they've been coming up with a very faint line and Im not sure if it's positive or an Evap line.
People keep telling me to try the ClearBlue Digital test but others say they give one result on one day and a different result the next day then someone told me that the First Response pregnancy test is the best one out there. I don't know which one to use. My boyfriend and I agreed to take 2 more home tests and then get a Blood test. I've been told that any line, even a faint one, means Positive but I have no symptoms except light abdominal pain. No vomiting, no sore breasts...Im confused, Which home test is more accurate? (link)
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Some home pregnancy tests are better than others, obviously. According to a couple of studies done, First Response and Early Result Pregnancy Test are the two best kinds to purchase because they are slightly more sensitive than the others.
I suppose you can find either of these at your local pharmacy or Wal-mart for a reasonable price.
Your best bet for an accurate pregnancy test is to have a blood test done at your clinic.
There are many reasons why the line may be light. Your body may not have produced enough hCG yet (the hormone pregnant women produce). It could be that you have a tubal pregnancy, which could prove very troublesome. It could be that you're simply not pregnant or that you're waiting too long to view the test.
Anyway, I think you definately should pick up the couple of home pregnancy tests I have mentioned. You should also have a clinic test you to make sure everything is alright with your body anyway. Even if you're not pregnant, missing two periods is not normal and could be a sign of some underlying health problems.
Sometimes women do not have any "symptoms" of being pregnant. Some women have a lot of the "symptoms" when they are pregnant. I have gathered that sometimes the "symptoms" are actually a sign of bad things--my sister was violently ill with a baby she miscarried, my mother had horrible acid pain when pregnant with my brother who has some mental disabilities, my mother was ill when she was pregnant with babies she miscarried, etc. Of course, I'm not saying every women who has morning sickness has an unwell baby--I'm just saying that if things get out of control then that could be a sign that something is wrong with said baby. SO, my point it, not everyone has sore breasts, morning sickness, fatigue, etc. :)
If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
P.S. Home pregnancy tests can show false-negatives, meaning you are pregnant but it keeps saying false. I had a friend that took these tests throughout her ENTIRE pregnancy and it always showed false ;) even 9 months into it.
There is no such thing as a false-positive for home pregnancy tests. If it shows positive, you're positively pregnant :) even if it's just a faint line of a "positive" reading.
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okay. so i'm a 16 year old girl and i decided to ask you this question because i wanted a guy's perspective.
this is kind of long but i will try to sum it all up.
this past year i got to know this guy and we were realllly good friends. he liked me at one point in the beginning of the school year. also this year i got to be really good friends with this girl. well they started dating, and dated for like 6 months and broke up in like may. she still has feelings for him but he wants to move on. after they broke up he told me about how he liked me at the beginning of the year..things were kind of awkward because i never liked him but then we started hooking up..i just hooked up with him because i thought it was friends with benefits and we talked about it and he agreed with that but how do i know if he actually has feelings because my friend can't find out especially if he likes me. (link)
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Being friends with benefits has the drawback that one side usually ends up developing feelings for the other side. Typically the female of this sort of situation ends up doing this. Young guys, who tend to be driven by their hormones, key in on this and take it for what it's worth--what you're giving him already.
This is really probably what happened:
He was with this girl and saw something in you that he could take advantage of. He stored that for a "just in case" moment when him and said girl broke up. They broke up and magically he tells you he had feelings for you because he saw that area in you that he could take for granted. He simply saw you as easy, believe it or not. He then told you what he thought he needed to so you would allow him to use you. He will as long as you allow him to.
He really just isn't that into you or he would push for a real relationship with you.
Even if this was to spur some sort of real relationship, it simply wouldn't last. The entire basis of the relationship would be sex, and those relationships burn out very quickly. He's interested in what you can give him, not who you are, or he would be WITH YOU by now.
He has no special feelings to you because you aren't special to him. He sees you as someone he can use and drop whenever he wants and someone he can use in the meantime. He'll lead you on, keeping you hanging and hoping, but won't ever develop feelings for you the way you may develop feelings for him.
Watch and wait. He'll eventually find a new girlfriend--but it won't be you. He'll keep saying he likes you--but he won't be dating you. He will lead you on for awhile, dropping "hints" that he likes you, but will NEVER pursue anything with you. He will always turn you down for a real relationship, or end it quickly, giving some sort of, "We should just be friends with benefits" silly reason. (By the way, that line means, "I don't like you at all. I like using you. Let me use you.")
Stop worrying if he likes you.
He likes that he can have sex with you.
That's all.
Seriously.
I promise.
There is no point in asking him if he likes you. He'll give you answers that will make you "stay" in the situation with him. I promise, they never come out and say to your face that they don't like who you are but only care about what they're getting from you.
I hope things turn around and you realize what sort of situation you have put yourself in. If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
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I've been with my boyfriend for over three years. We're happy and we love each other. However, he still has a lot of growing up to do.
For starters, he's a little shy. I know this is a part of his personality, but since we jsut started college, I've noticed he doesn't interact with people well. This draws my attention to the fact that sometimes he is very self-centered. He hardly ever thinks of what I would like to do, or what I think about something, and he just goes with what works for him. He does do random things to make me happy, but only when I'm upset over something or I'm sick or whatever.
Also, we don't have sex. And I'm ready for it. I love him enough to, and he claims he feels the same, but he was raised in a slightly more strict home than I was. So, he is totally opposed to it, even though we do everything but sex. We've also never spent the night together, and while I think simply sleeping together (and ONLY that) would be a sweet/cute thing, he doesn't think it's a good idea. The thing that gets me is that he "can't explain why he feels that way".
We've grown a lot in our relationship, but I'm much, much more mature than he is, and sometimes it gets on my nerves. Has anyone else been in this situation? And what can I do to talk to him about this without him getting defensive, which he does often when I try to talk about these things. (link)
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[EDITED TO ADD: I understand that the situation is not centered around sex for you, in your mind, but re-read what you typed out here. The only problem you REALLY address is that you want sex and he won't give it to you. You try to belittled him even--saying he came from a strict family. Pretend you are someone totally different that just logged on and read what you wrote. What is your first impression? What is the impression that sticks with you? For me, it's what I advised below. I see nothing wrong with the guy at all. I see you giving into media peer pressure even when your boyfriend verbally says NO. Please re-read :)]
Please sit down and talk with your boyfriend. It sounds like you are having more of a problem than he is. Think of something you said:
"Also, we don't have sex. And I'm ready for it."
but right before that you say:
"...sometimes he is very self-centered. He hardly ever thinks of what I would like to do, or what I think about something..."
Sex is nothing to take lightly.
If he doesn't want to have sex it doesn't mean he does not love you. Love is NOT sex and sex is NOT love. Please don't pressure your boyfriend because it sounds like you are and that is no good at all.
It's okay to think it's not a good idea for you two to spend the night together. It sounds like he has his head on his shoulders. If you two spend the night together, JUST to cuddle all night, you're putting a lot of pressure on the situation. Hormones can get out of control and things can happen that someone didn't want to happen really.
Your boyfriend sounds smart and mature, to me. He probably is well aware that sex means babies and he is, most likely, not ready for babies yet. If you two just started college then babies are definately not the best idea in the world.
Sex = babies. Sex has ALWAYS equaled babies. Babies do NOT care if you used a condom (88% effective) or birth control pills (92% effective). Babies don't care if you're not ready for them. Babies don't care if you have to drop out of college, work 3 part-time jobs, and struggle to buy a pack of diapers for them. Babies come when you make decisions that lead to babies.
He may not be interacting well with college students because he sees their stupidity, especially freshmen. It appears that most college people like to go out, drink, and have sex constantly. It's okay if your boyfriend sees that and says, "Uh...wrong crowd to hang with." It's okay for him to avoid such people, especially until they brighten up through the years. (Yes, I've been through college already. I'm 21, almost 22.)
He may do what "works for him" because he sees flaws in your decisions. If you say, "We should have sex right now!" then maybe he sees the flaw in that babies come when sex happens. If you say, "We should go ride our bikes in the road tonight. It would really make me happy!" he sees the flaw that a car might hit you and hurt you. He may see things you haven't been seeing. TALK to him when these things happen so you get a view of his thinking on the subject.
Your boyfriend doesn't sound self-centered at all to me. It sounds like he's thinking of your futures together. It also sounds like he is thinking things through while you're not.
Your boyfriend is only human. He is not perfect and if you have not sat down with him and specifically said, "I wish you would do those little things to make me smile even when I'm not sick," then he does not know. In which case, you need to sit down with him and TALK about THIS very thing.
If your boyfriend is getting defensive then it may be your attitude when bringing issues up to him. Be kind and considerate. Do not blame all of the relationship drama on him. It could be that you have pressured him so much that he feels that you don't really care about his feelings and thoughts about matters. Sometimes it's hard to see what you do to other people if you don't have a third party to do, "WHOA WHOA WHOA! WAIT A MINUTE HERE!"
If you love your boyfriend then sex doesn't matter.
Stop pressuring him to spend the night with you. He said no and no means no. He is being MATURE about this, believe it or not.
Talk to him about the little things.
Stop talking to him about having sex.
He sounds decently mature by the way you have described him.
You don't.
If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
P.S. Sex is a two person decision. Just because you're ready doesn't mean he needs to magically be ready too. Give him the respect he deserves and wait it out or get out of the relationship.
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well does this sound like depression? im going to get checked by a doctor but im just wondering. and i thought i had depression last winter..i dont think it ever really went away..
i just CANT get myself motivated
im easily distracted and cant stay focused
im very easily upset and always have anger building up inside me
i hate myself
i dont feel good enough and dont have much of a self worth
i feel like i cant change and cant get better even though i really really want to
and i feel like im in this circle of not being motivated so i dont do anything and then get even more mad at myself when i dissapoint everyone(mostly my parents) by not doing whatever i was supposed to do. cutting feels like the little thing that can break that cycle. i had stopped for a while now but tonight i just finally cut again because i want to break this cycle! i want to stop hating myself and dissapointing my parents. please help! and im going to see a counselor very soon so yea i already kno i need to do that
but at other times (mainly when im with my friends or talking to them) im happy and upbeat and talkative and outgoing but when im not with my friends i feel like like just really really sucks and i fight with my family all the time for no reason and the smallest thing sets me off. if you have any tips or advice or personal stories or ANYTHING please help me!!! (link)
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Reading back through your questions, it appears that you are a young teenage girl, 14 or 15.
At this age, you are under an immense amount of stress. Stress can do insanely strange things to you. If you were to guess, when did your "depression" began? I bet it was around the time you hit puberty and/or started a new school (ie: high school or middle school)?
Stress can cause you to feel low sometimes. Stress takes a lot of your energy and time. It makes you unable to focus. You may not sleep well because of the amount of stress.
You are being stressed every day by every one around you. Your peers stress you more than anyone. They want you to be perfect in their eyes. Being female, you have to constantly keep in check of things like, "Do my friends like me? Does the hot boy like me? Will my friends approve of this outfit? Will my friends think I'm pretty? Do I fit in? Are people picking on me? If they are picking on me, is there something wrong with me?"
Your body is quickly growing and maturing so some of your features may not be perfected yet. I am not saying this is you at all, but this is when a lot of teenage girls feel they MUST get a boob or nose job. It simply comes down the fact that they are STILL GROWING--but all they know is that their peers are pressuring them to have nice bodies and faces right off the bat.
Your parents pressure you too, believe it or not. It's been awhile since they were your age and, even at that, they didn't have to go nearly the amount of stress you do each day. You are being pressured from peers, parents, and the media CONSTANTLY. Anyway, your parents really want you to make good grades, which makes lots of time studying and focusing--that causes a problem--if you are constantly using your time to figure out if your friends will accept you, how are you suppose to take the time to study for perfect grades? Two parents against 50 peers? Yeah, I thought so.
Then we have the media, that is constantly marketing toward you. They keep telling you things like, "Buy this product. You'll be more beautiful!" "Have sex! It's safe, fun, and it makes people like you!" "Get naked! The more skin you show, the sexier you are. The sexier you are, the more guys that will like you!" What they aren't telling you is that the product is not going to CREATE beauty out of nothing--it is only to ENHANCE what you already have. They don't tell you that condoms are 88% effective TYPICALLY and birth control pills are 92% effective TYPICALLY on preventing pregnancy. No sex is safe, there is a fastly growing number of STDs that NO "protection" actually protects you from. Nobody likes sluts. They also don't tell you that the more skin you show, the more you're not going to be treated like a lady by those men that are after--SEX! What a concept!
Anyway, under stress, animals self-harm too. People are just like that. Ever see a girl biting her nails when she was under stress? What about a girl biting her nails all the way down until they bled right before a BIG test? I have. It's stress.
Of course you don't feel good enough. Everybody around you is pressuring you for MORE.
Of course you cannot focus. You have A LOT on your plate right now. The big picture is pretty darn BIG.
Your emotions are nutso because your hormones are going crazy while you're under this amount of stress. People are constantly pushing for more, your body is quickly growing, and your emotions are going out of whack because of this.
It's okay to see a therapist, but I would defiantly not jump to depression. When you start telling yourself that you have something, your mind starts to develop those symptoms. If you keep telling yourself, "I'm not pretty! I am not pretty! I am NOT pretty!" then your mind alters a little and you start to care less and less about your appearance--you start to not do your hair, nails, and go unwashed for a day or two because you're not pretty anyway, right? Wrong. You convinced yourself of that.
Try not to convince yourself that you have something wrong with you.
You are a normal, stressed-out teenager, most likely.
You need to relax.
By relax I do not mean drugs or sex.
I mean, RELAX.
Sit down and write it out.
Your peers are just your peers. It's okay if you don't meet up to their standards. When you're 30--will they even care what you wore last week?
Your parents only mean well. Do your best, focus on your work instead of popularity, and RELAX. If you make a B and you studied as hard as you could then that is what you could do.
Don't buy into the media bullcrap. Who needs some of that crap anyway? Do you realllllly want to put yourself at risk for STDs when they're growing like they are just because the trojan man said it's safe? Hah.
It will be okay.
Breathe.
Take some time for yourself.
Get your mind sorted out.
Talk it out to a counselor if you'd like, but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not convince yourself you are messed up.
My best is that you're just stressed.
I would place big money on that.
If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
P.S. I am no doctor; although, I have had some psychology courses in college. My advice is, obviously, not from a professional. If you feel you need to seek professional help then please do so. My opinions are only that--opinions, thoughts, ideas.
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How can I find out who died in a different place? I live in America and I want to know who died in Britain (but not like famous people, regular people) Please help!!! [no questions just answers nothing else, don't waste your time I'll only ignore it] Website links are best if possible (link)
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You may be able to find the local newspaper online and search through obituaries there, if you know where the person was located at. You do not need to know where they died but where they lived really.
Most places now have online newspapers, even my small town newspaper is now online. So, you might do a search for CITY Daily News or CITY online newspaper and be able to find your local paper online.
The normal obituary they print in the actual paper is usually posted exactly the way it is on the online newspaper. This being said, you'll be able to gather the person's age along with their first and last name and how they died.
Here is a list of newspapers in Britain that have their own online newspaper:
http://newspaper-world.com/europe/britain.asp
I am uncertain if you can track back days or weeks through the online papers but it's probably worth a shot to look through them.
If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
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I want to commit suicide but I don'twant pain so I want to tak a bunch of sleeping pills I am 14 and a female. About how many do I need to take to die in my sleep? My ffriend that's like a brother to me went out drunk as a fucking skunk to jump off a cliff because he was really depressed and I couldn't stop him no matter what I did. I know it's "not the end of the word" and shit but I don't care! I waited all night and morning and ect but he never got on again so spare me the bullshit about not doing it and trying to convince me not to because everyone knows it doesn't work so spare yourself the energy and help me please. (link)
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If you are seriously trying to kill yourself you need to re-evaluate what you are doing. Overdosing is usually caught early before the person actually dies and leaves many people mentally and/or physically impaired for the rest of their lifetime. In addition, it causes the family extreme guilt and grief for "allowing" the overdose to happen. The way you are feeling is how you will be leaving your friends and family feeling--your actions WILL affect them all just like your friend's actions is affecting you.
Many people who have overdosed on various pills live later to tell how painful it was. Overdosing is not as simple as falling asleep and never waking up. Many people break out into cold sweats, have seizures, severe stomach pains, and so-on. Overdosing is painful and is not a "quick, painless way out" of life.
Overdosing on any type of pill is definately not painless and quick:
http://www.intueri.org/2007/05/02/suicide-by-overdose-is-not-painless/
Overdosing usually leads to messy, painful and long-drawn-out consequences, including slow poisoning. There is not really a pain-less way to find death. If you attempt suicide, be aware that you will probably be in pain for the last bit of your consciousness, no matter what method you choose.
Imagine suddenly having problems breathing and feeling very dizzy and weak. You have to sit down in the floor and before you know it, things are spinning around you and you break out in a sweat. You have to lay down on the floor because you're so weak. Your stomach is hurting--it feels like something is going to rip out of your flesh and eat you alive. Your body starts to shake on it's own, but your muscles hurt so bad you just can't stand it. It's hard to breath now, you're gasping for air, but you can't see anything around you. You lay on the floor, in a puddle of your sweat, while you pray the pain stops. You begin to lose control of normal body functions, maybe you just urinated yourself. You slip in and out of consciousness, in and out of feeling jolts of extreme pain throughout your body that you can no longer control. You finally lose consciousness completely.
You wake up 6 months later. Someone, through a miracle of God, had found you in your very unpleasant state. You scared them deeply and they rushed you to the emergency room, where you spent hours of some group of workers time while they prayed they could save your life. A little 3-year-old boy died because they had to work on you before they could get to him but you won't ever know that. You're awake in a hospital bed you've been taking up for the past 6 months. You've lost your job in this time. Your friends and family have became ill from worry, and a couple have begun thinking of suicide themselves for "pushing you" to it. You now have a slew of medications you have to take daily or you become ill. You've lost control of coordination and will have to have physical therapy in HOPES you regain the ability to walk. You have problems talking and your words are slewed--you'll have to go through speech therapy too.
You cannot hold a decent job if you wanted to now. You cannot even walk from to the restroom without falling twice. You cannot communicate clearly enough for most people to understand you. If you aren't up with your medication, you wet yourself, so you have to constantly be wearing Depends. Because of your medications and your physical disabilities now you have lost your license and are unable to regain the privilege of driving. Your friends and family treat you like an infant--afraid of every move you make. You no longer can live on your own because you need physical assistance. You cannot even hold a pot up long enough to get it to the stove so you don't have one at all. Your neighbors have their eye on you now--just in case--and they talk about how strange you are and that they heard this and that from why you are disabled now.
Which is better? Your life now or the possible outcomes of your life after trying to commit suicide?
I'm sure you'd rather be alive and decently well than to wake up in 6 months, alone, confused, and impaired in some way.
Bad times always get better. You don't want to be left in a painful state, even if you got your stomach pumped if a family member found you is not a pleasant experience and you WILL remember it for a long time.
Seek some therapy to work through coping with the loss of your friend. Life throws some really tough stuff at us sometimes, but we know you can make it through this if you take the time to relax and seek help for yourself. Everybody loses someone, sometime. You can make it through this and we will help the best we can.
I have been there.
Things got better.
Please reconsider your suicide attempt.
It is not going to be like anything you have imagined.
If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
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How long will it take if I use two insulin pens full of Novalog to commit suicide? Assuming both pens are full and are inject within five minutes. (link)
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Although I am completely unaware as to how much Novolog it would take to commit suicide successfully, I am certain that it would be very difficult to go through with simply because your body would enter a state of shock and, most likely, a comatose state before the death occurred. Within this time, it is likely that someone will find you or you will come to your senses and find that death was not what you have been seeking.
I have read many, many tales of people wanting to commit suicide. It's fairly common now, as you well know. I have read of a few near-death experiences where a person is just about to "go" and lose consciousness and finds themselves panicking, realizing that they are making a huge mistake. Luckily, these people have survived, although a few I have read have become brain damaged.
I would suggest you rethink this because of the possible consequences other than death. Would life be any better if you did not actually die but went into a comatose state, waking up awhile later to find that you are mentally or physically impaired for the rest of your life? It may seem to you that death is certain, but you would be surprised at how much the human body fights such odds.
As per pain you would experience while overdosing, take this into consideration:
"An insulin overdose can cause life-threatening hypoglycemia.
Symptoms of severe hypoglycemia include extreme weakness, blurred vision, sweating, trouble speaking, tremors, stomach pain, confusion, seizure (convulsions), or coma."
http://www.drugs.com/novolog.html
Extreme weakness means you're going to be a pool of flesh on the floor. You aren't going to be able to see clearly so panic may result. You will sweat yourself silly, most likely, while you attempt to mumble out. Don't think tremors and stomach pains are going to be like anything you've ever felt before--this means you will HURT. Confusion will likely lead to a panicking situation. Seizures aren't going to make that any worse. Waking up from a coma in 6 months isn't going to make life seem any easier.
For some side-effects of Novolog (not even overdose syptoms, so take in account what an overdose might make you experience if you have never experienced the following):
"Hypoglycemia, or low blood sugar, is the most common side effect of NovoLog. Symptoms of low blood sugar may include headache, nausea, hunger, confusion, drowsiness, weakness, dizziness, blurred vision, fast heartbeat, sweating, tremor, trouble concentrating, confusion, or seizure (convulsions)."
"NovoLog can also cause hypokalemia (low potassium levels in the blood). Call your doctor at once if you have symptoms such as dry mouth, increased thirst, increased urination, uneven heartbeats, muscle pain or weakness, leg pain or discomfort, or confusion.
Tell your doctor if you have itching, swelling, redness, or thickening of the skin where you inject NovoLog."
There is not really a pain-less way to find death. If you attempt suicide, be aware that you will probably be in pain for the last bit of your consciousness, no matter what method you choose. Even when people contemplate suicide with some sort of sleeping tablets they are reported to be in pain for a lengthy period of time before losing consciousness, which, luckily, gives them enough time to seek help.
Imagine suddenly having problems breathing and feeling very dizzy and weak. You have to sit down in the floor and before you know it, things are spinning around you and you break out in a sweat. You have to lay down on the floor because you're so weak. Your stomach is hurting--it feels like something is going to rip out of your flesh and eat you alive. Your body starts to shake on it's own, but your muscles hurt so bad you just can't stand it. It's hard to breath now, you're gasping for air, but you can't see anything around you. You lay on the floor, in a puddle of your sweat, while you pray the pain stops. You begin to lose control of normal body functions, maybe you just urinated yourself. You slip in and out of consciousness, in and out of feeling jolts of extreme pain throughout your body that you can no longer control. You finally lose consciousness completely.
You wake up 6 months later. Someone, through a miracle of God, had found you in your very unpleasant state. You scared them deeply and they rushed you to the emergency room, where you spent hours of some group of workers time while they prayed they could save your life. A little 3-year-old boy died because they had to work on you before they could get to him but you won't ever know that. You're awake in a hospital bed you've been taking up for the past 6 months. You've lost your job in this time. Your friends and family have became ill from worry, and a couple have begun thinking of suicide themselves for "pushing you" to it. You now have a slew of medications you have to take daily or you become ill. You've lost control of coordination and will have to have physical therapy in HOPES you regain the ability to walk. You have problems talking and your words are slewed--you'll have to go through speech therapy too.
You cannot hold a decent job if you wanted to now. You cannot even walk from to the restroom without falling twice. You cannot communicate clearly enough for most people to understand you. If you aren't up with your medication, you wet yourself, so you have to constantly be wearing Depends. Because of your medications and your physical disabilities now you have lost your license and are unable to regain the privilege of driving. Your friends and family treat you like an infant--afraid of every move you make. You no longer can live on your own because you need physical assistance. You cannot even hold a pot up long enough to get it to the stove so you don't have one at all. Your neighbors have their eye on you now--just in case--and they talk about how strange you are and that they heard this and that from why you are disabled now.
Which is better? Your life now or the possible outcomes of your life after trying to commit suicide?
I'm sure you'd rather be alive and decently well than to wake up in 6 months, alone, confused, and impaired in some way.
Please reconsider your suicide attempt.
It is not going to be like anything you have imagined.
If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
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This is how mybelly button piercings been doing:
Day 1-2: Red, tender, top is crusted
Day 3-5: Top still crusted, no longer tender, pus comes out
Day 6: Top crust comes off so it looks kinda healed becuase its smooth
Day 7-8: Still puses and occasionally crusts, but crust falls off real easily
Day 9-10: REDDER. I though that it had been getting much better, but turns out, it got worse? I think... Im worried
I also think it'll be rejected because it looks like its migrating.
I dont know what to do! I dont want it to migrate out. Also, what can I do to make it NOT red? (link)
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This is called rejection. Rejection is the body's natural defensive maneuver to prevent infections and such. Migrating IS rejecting.
Your body has no idea that you WANTED to put a piece of metal in your skin. It thinks you've been wounded and it knows that infection may set in if the object stays in (because foreign objects have dirt/bacteria on them). The body knows it needs to get the object out as soon as possible so it does everything it can.
This means the flesh surrounding the piercing will actually sacrifice itself for your life. It will actually die off and the cells will fall off of you little by little. This causes deep scars usually. You can actually visually see the skin thinning when you look at the piercing.
Rejection usually only happens to surface piercings--eyebrows, bellyrings, hips, corset piercing, cleavage, nape, etc.
Rejection will ALWAYS happen with these piercings no matter what. The only way to reduce the scarring from rejection is to take the piercing out early. Some bodies reject quicker than others--some people can go weeks with an eyebrow piercing before it starts to reject and some people can go months before it begins rejecting. It will always happen though.
The only thing you can do is try to slow down the rejection process. This means rinsing the jewelry off with saline solution twice a day and doing everything you can not to put pressure on the bar. With surface piercings, the more you mess with them, the quicker they will come out.
The skin usually begins to be itchy because the cells are dying off so you can live and won't get a major infection. Again, the body doesn't know that the object has been sterilized and was wanted so there honestly is no way to stop rejection.
I also want to note that if your piercing begins to reject and you do not remove the jewelery, it WILL still come out. Your skin seriously just falls off of you little by little until the piercing comes out as well.
Here is an excellent photo sequence in which someone shows how their nape piercing rejected after a few months:
http://wiki.bmezine.com/images/a/a6/Surface_Piercing_Rejection-2.gif
In short, your skin will not magically get any thicker in that area now. Your body is actually just healing itself by killing off those skin cells. Your body will always do this until the bar completely falls out. You cannot reverse this and, usually, cannot really slow the process down.
All you can do now is wash it off with saline solution or remove it before it removes itself. It's not going to get any better if it's migrating.
See a piercer about it being infected. Infection can be really bad, but I would place my best it not being infected but just migrating. If you remove it and it IS infected, it will seal in the infection in and you'll need to have it lanced or cut out by a doctor.
So:
Rinse off twice daily with saline solution.
See a professional piercer.
Determine if it's infected.
If infected: ask for advice. (the advice SHOULD be to keep washing it off with saline solution. NO SOAP. NO ALCOHOL. NO PEROXIDE.)
If not infected: remove.
I hope I've answered you pretty clearly. If you have any more questions PLEASE feel free to ask me! :)
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