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15 and i want to do something sexual
Iam 15 female &een dating my boyfriend for a year and i think it's about time for us to be sexual but i don't want to have actual sex and i want to know of somethings that we can do to each other without having sctual intercourse.
please don't try to talk me out of it.
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I know it's your body and your choice, but, honestly, is this something you really want to do? Mind you, I am not talking you out of this, but I am informing you.
If you're not ready to have sex then you're not ready to have any kind of sex.
Sex, any sex, brings consequences. A blow job can leave you with oral gonorrhea, oral HPV, herpes, etc. A hand-job can leave you with HPV on the hands and in the nailbeds that can travel to your vagina when you are washing (and this also applies to herpes).
Virgins have STDs too. If you check around some forums for people with STDs you will notice a surprising number of people who have transmitted their STD to their infant. The infant will unknowingly grow up so use to the symptoms of the incurable STD that they will be clueless that it is transmittable.
When I was researching some herpes facts I found that a many number of parents transferred their herpes onto the genitals of their newborn during diaper changes. Some women also pass the virus along to an unborn child as it is passing through the vaginal canal. This is why they are instructed to take a course of herpes treatment pills (remember, it is not curable, the pills only help to relieve some symptoms) in hopes the woman does not experience an outbreak during labor--when it would be easier for the baby to contract.
It is also very common for babies to be born with AIDs in Africa. The blood that naturally comes from the woman during labor usually will transmit the disease to the infant. Again, the baby will grow so accustomed to their disease that they aren't even fully aware that they have contracted something very serious.
The only way to know if you are completely clean from STDs is to have a complete blood test done. Even then, herpes can be hidden within the body unless it is currently broken out into a blister.
Many parents are so ashamed that they have spread their disease that they do not tell the child about the seriousness of it. Many parents also kiss their young children on the lips occassionally and may spread things like herpes this way and some children do not even remember being kissed by a parent--I know this for a fact.
I also want to take note that condoms so a very poor job in helping to prevent the spread of STD/STIs. Seriously, if you're concerned about your health then you should have yourself and your partner screened for illnesses before engaging in activities. Many, many people contract STDs/STIs from engaging in sex with condoms. Condoms aren't really for preventing the spread of such things--they are only meant to be a barrier from sperm entering the vagina. This being said, it does not cover the entire genital region and, let's face it, STDs usually do.
Condoms are only 88% effective (typical usage) on preventing pregnancy. That means that out of every 100 sexual encounters between people, 12 women will become pregnant.
The hormonal birth control pill isn't much better either. It's about 92% effective for typical usage--remember, the 99% they tell you if for PERFECT usage--are we perfect beings? Nope! So, that means that out of every 100 sex encounters, 8 babies will be conceived.
The "pull-out" method is only about 75% highest effective on preventing pregnancy. The number actually fluctuates between 30% and 75%.
All percentages for future reference because once you start, you'll go further pretty quickly.
The problem is this:
If your relationship NEEDS sex to prove love, or to spice things up for interest reasons, then sex is going to break the relationship.
Married couples simply do not have the problems that other sexual partners do. Married couples never fear they're being used or will be left. They're able to open up and tell each other what they desire without fear. They know that if a pregnancy happens that they will get through it together with each other's support. They also aren't fearful of catching an STD from their partner because they know they're their only partner. Both partners tend to be fully satisfied because they're able to communicate well with each other and they're able to feel emotionally secure.
How could you forgive a partner for transmitting an STD to you? How could you get over feeling "forced" into intercourse one evening when things got heated? There are too many factors that will add a load of pressure on you relationship, and could break it down in a matter of days.
My suggestion for the time being is simply this:
Make memories of your youth.
When you're older you'll have something to say. Your grandchildren will all sit around, wanting you to tell them about the time you and grandpa went out and did this and that. They'll come to you advice on how to make their own relationships work and you'll be able to say, "It isn't about having sex. It isn't about saying you're going to marry them. It's about life, love, and making lasting memories together."
Wouldn't you two like to look back years down the road and have giggles about the silly things you remember and the good times you had during the week? You'll be able to tell your future friends and possible children and grandchildren all about the neat things you two used to do together.
I feel sad that a lot of the teenagers now won't have a "how we met" story other than, "We met at a party and starting making out and had sex." I feel sad that teenagers will have to say, "I was engaged to 3 guys before he asked me and we got married." I feel sad that they won't have anything to say about what they did together other than, "Well, we we could see each other, we had sex. Sometimes with a condom, sometimes without. We had a few pregnancy scares." I feel sad that they will have to tell their own children things like, "No, your mother/father wasn't my first sexually. I lost my virginity when I was 13 to this one guy/girl. I had been with 13 people prior to your mother/father."
Go roller-blading.
See concerts.
Go to the park and watch old people in love.
Lay on the ground and look at the clouds.
Go on movie dates.
Share a milkshake.
Read books together.
Go have a few double-dates with your best friend.
Volunteer together.
Talk to strangers together and see if you can help brighten their day.
Help each other grow.
Don't worry about sex.
The time will come when that will be important.
The time is not now.
Be 15.
Be 16.
Be 17.
Be 18.
Enjoy your youth while you can, and look back to laugh and smile at the good, wholesome memories.
Make good, lasting memories of the short period of time you get to be together. It may seem like having sex is a big deal and you'll remember it forever but you two, most likely, won't as the years go by. Everyone does it. It isn't special.
For a final note, by engaging in sexual activity (not intercourse) you will be putting yourself in a situation to lose your virginity. Things will escalate and you WILL lose your virginity. It happens to the best of us. You put yourself out there and you may end up making poorer choices in the heat of the moment that you will highly regret.
I do hope that you reconsider and make the right choices for this stage of your life. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
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*Fingering
*Oral
*Feeling Up
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I don't know if you count oral sex as intercourse but that's always an option.
You could give him a hand job, or he could finger you, or both.
You could have breast sex, TF, tuck, whatever you want to call it. All you do is basically push your boobs together and he sticks his penis between so its kind of like sex I suppose.
You could have dry sex too. This is wear you can keep your underwear on and he doesn't (or does, depends on your preference) and he basically just dry humps you without going in.
Good luck =]
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Haram!
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