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friends with benefits
okay. so i'm a 16 year old girl and i decided to ask you this question because i wanted a guy's perspective.
this is kind of long but i will try to sum it all up.
this past year i got to know this guy and we were realllly good friends. he liked me at one point in the beginning of the school year. also this year i got to be really good friends with this girl. well they started dating, and dated for like 6 months and broke up in like may. she still has feelings for him but he wants to move on. after they broke up he told me about how he liked me at the beginning of the year..things were kind of awkward because i never liked him but then we started hooking up..i just hooked up with him because i thought it was friends with benefits and we talked about it and he agreed with that but how do i know if he actually has feelings because my friend can't find out especially if he likes me.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
youre 16.
the last thing on your mind should
be friends with benefits.. wow.
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Being friends with benefits has the drawback that one side usually ends up developing feelings for the other side. Typically the female of this sort of situation ends up doing this. Young guys, who tend to be driven by their hormones, key in on this and take it for what it's worth--what you're giving him already.
This is really probably what happened:
He was with this girl and saw something in you that he could take advantage of. He stored that for a "just in case" moment when him and said girl broke up. They broke up and magically he tells you he had feelings for you because he saw that area in you that he could take for granted. He simply saw you as easy, believe it or not. He then told you what he thought he needed to so you would allow him to use you. He will as long as you allow him to.
He really just isn't that into you or he would push for a real relationship with you.
Even if this was to spur some sort of real relationship, it simply wouldn't last. The entire basis of the relationship would be sex, and those relationships burn out very quickly. He's interested in what you can give him, not who you are, or he would be WITH YOU by now.
He has no special feelings to you because you aren't special to him. He sees you as someone he can use and drop whenever he wants and someone he can use in the meantime. He'll lead you on, keeping you hanging and hoping, but won't ever develop feelings for you the way you may develop feelings for him.
Watch and wait. He'll eventually find a new girlfriend--but it won't be you. He'll keep saying he likes you--but he won't be dating you. He will lead you on for awhile, dropping "hints" that he likes you, but will NEVER pursue anything with you. He will always turn you down for a real relationship, or end it quickly, giving some sort of, "We should just be friends with benefits" silly reason. (By the way, that line means, "I don't like you at all. I like using you. Let me use you.")
Stop worrying if he likes you.
He likes that he can have sex with you.
That's all.
Seriously.
I promise.
There is no point in asking him if he likes you. He'll give you answers that will make you "stay" in the situation with him. I promise, they never come out and say to your face that they don't like who you are but only care about what they're getting from you.
I hope things turn around and you realize what sort of situation you have put yourself in. If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
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