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My life is veering way off-course, and I need help getting back on track.
15/female/sophomore in high school
Lately I feel so stressed to the max, like I'm to the point of breaking. The new school year just started a few weeks ago, and I already feel like I'm drowning in most all of my classes. I've always thought of myself as smart, but it just seems that my new classes (which are all either Honors or AP) are just too hard for me- basically impossible. I can hardly ever focus on my work, and if I even try I don't understand what to do- which prompts me to lose focus again.
I've missed four days of school already, all of which have been because of working so late into the night (it takes forever for me to complete my work, since it's so difficult for me) that I either don't get it all done (and repercussions for unfinished homework are brutal in all of these advanced classes) or I'm simply too tired and feel awful the next morning.
I had a similar problem last year, which caused me to get way behind in school and miss 30 days. I ended up making it all up with all A's and B's, and began to feel fine just like I did before high school started over the summer, but as soon as school started again last month all my issues came rushing back to me, despite my vows that this year would be better.
These problems have had affected my mental health in strange ways. I find myself crying all the time over the littlest things, I can't find any motivation to do what I know I must at times, I'm always feeling nostalgic towards the times when school wasn't so impossible for me, and I hardly ever do anything social anymore. School just seems like a giant looming tower whose shadow I constantly live in, threatening to crash into my unstable life. I think I may be depressed, but I have no idea what to do about it.
My mother is at her wit's end with this whole scenario. I don't think she fully understands how I feel- to her, I simply am too lazy to do my work, and would rather stay home and watch TV all day. She's been resorting to a somewhat "tough love" approach, which is in all honesty making my situation worse. I know she's trying to help, but I don't think she understands (nor wants to understand) what I'm going through. I'm not sure she would even listen if I told her everything from the paragraph above- she would just start screaming and tell me that the only thing I can do is just be normal and do what I need to do.
I really think I need to look into alternative options besides traditional schooling. High school really isn't working out for me, but I have a lot I want to do with my life, and dropping out is absolutely not an option I even want to think about. Of course, I really do think that there is also something wrong with my mental state that needs taking care of, though I have no idea how. I just need some help to get my life back on some sort of track (even if it is a slightly non-traditional track) so I can start living the kind of life I want to live.
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
I'm going to try not to turn this into a massive wall of text answer.
The best advice I can offer is to accept your limitations.
That sounds terrible...
I hit my cieling at a different point. First year in college, after a 3.97/4.0 gpa through high school I almost failed calculus twice and had to drop an engineering class outright to not have an F on my record.
I hit a point in complex thought I wasnt ready for yet.
Thing is, I had a similar experience previously. I took algebra in 7th grade. Or tried to. I made mostly C's, I had trouble keeping up with the work and understanding everything.
Two years later (they refused to let me retake algebra even in 8th grade) I almost slept through that class with a 98. I aced Geometry, got a low A in algebra 2 (honestly mostly due to laziness) and actually did sleep through 3/4 of precal.
I wasnt mentally ready for what I put myself through. My mind didn't work, wasnt organized enough and grown enough to handle what i threw at it.
Same thing happened in college. I pushed myself too hard too fast. Took Economics, Calculus (the advanced version for engineers) computer science 2, and Electrical Engineering 1.
Thats what you're doing. Slow down, take it a bit easier.
I'll ammend the earlier statement to be
"Accept your current limitations"
You're human, you arent a robot and theres only so much you can handle. Take some regular classes or just take some classes later.
And take some time to enjoy your life. Anyone can get burned out if they don't do something to relax once in a while. My escapes were Celebration Station (Go karts are just as fun as a teenager) Lazer tag, pool halls, football, and video game related events. Find your own.
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It really sounds like you've been pushing yourself too hard with all of these AP/Honors classes. I remember when I first went to high school my counselor said, "Only take ONE this year...if you do okay this year then you can take two or three next year, depending on how difficult the first class was for you."
Last year you admit to having difficulties in your AP and Honors classes. There is no shame in having "regular" classes. Maybe you're just an average student after all. Maybe ALL upper classes is just too much for you to handle. Again, there is no shame in taking some average classes.
High school would work for you just fine if you didn't make it so difficult on yourself. Please consider speaking to your counselor about dropping down to a few "regular" classes. It is probably still available this early in the school year if you and your mother both express concern about it. Trust me, if your mother really pushes for it, they can make this happen, most likely.
Your mental state would be just fine if you didn't push yourself to your limits. Challenges are great--but this is OBVIOUSLY too much for you to handle right now. You're young and you already have a lot on your plate without all of your courses being AP/Honors. It's good to take a challenging course or two--but even in college the counselors advise to only take one or two at time so you aren't so stressed out.
If you're stubborn and simply cannot deal with having a few "regular" classes then you NEED a tutor for EVERY SINGLE class and to see a counselor regularly for stress management. I mean it. You sound like if you want to continue this then you will absolutely NEED a person to sit down with you one-on-one every evening to help with homework in each class, and see a therapist on weekends to help yourself learn how to deal with that sort of stress. I'm positive that the therapist would advise the same as I am though--drop down a few classes, maybe not all, but enough to let yourself be a normal 15 year old.
Stress causes some crazy things, such as depression and anxiety problems. It makes you feel worthless and the more stress you have, the less work you can get done correctly. By being this stressed, you are only jeopardizing your work and mental state--you would make better grades easier and feel better mentally if you weren't spreading yourself out too thin over these high school courses. Stress can really cause you to completely fail out of high school if you allow yourself to continue doing things like this. Stress is very bad and you DEFINITELY do not want to go through your teenage years teaching yourself that a high stress situation is needed to be a decent person because that is not true at all.
So...
1. Decide which courses you REALLY want to take AP/Honors in. Make sure you can devote extra time to them. Two or three would really be enough, more than that is going to hold you back.
2. Talk to school counselor about dropping down to mostly regular courses. Explain why. Have your mother express her concerns in person to said counselor.
3. Find a tutor (or tutors) for the AP/Honors classes you have chosen to take in case you run into some trouble. Two heads are better than one in a stressful situation. Even if you end up with only 2 AP or Honors courses you may end up having a hard week trying to get projects finished and prepare for tests.
4. Be 15. Relax and enjoy being 15 right now. Go out, see movies, hang around with good friends, and have a date or two every now and again. You do NOT need to be stressing out right now like you are.
I know you may feel stupid having to drop down but, in reality, a lot of students probably feel the same way, and much like they are stuck in the same situation. Making straight As in normal classes is something to be proud of. Having to miss 30 days because AP/Honors classes are getting to you is not to be taken lightly. This is serious. Your friends will understand. The school isn't going to laugh at you. Nobody will really thing any less of you if you just drop down some classes for your own health and well-being.
I do hope you take my advice so you can have a good teenage/young-adult life. If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
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you might want to talk to your counselour and see if you can drop down (instead of taking honors or AP classes, taking regular ones).
good luck
JOBROLOVER<33
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This might be something your schools
guidance counselor can help you with.
Explain the situation to her/him and
see if they can help you find a solution.
At the very least they may be able
to get some of your teachers to work
with you.
Good luck!
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