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Depression??
well does this sound like depression? im going to get checked by a doctor but im just wondering. and i thought i had depression last winter..i dont think it ever really went away..
i just CANT get myself motivated
im easily distracted and cant stay focused
im very easily upset and always have anger building up inside me
i hate myself
i dont feel good enough and dont have much of a self worth
i feel like i cant change and cant get better even though i really really want to
and i feel like im in this circle of not being motivated so i dont do anything and then get even more mad at myself when i dissapoint everyone(mostly my parents) by not doing whatever i was supposed to do. cutting feels like the little thing that can break that cycle. i had stopped for a while now but tonight i just finally cut again because i want to break this cycle! i want to stop hating myself and dissapointing my parents. please help! and im going to see a counselor very soon so yea i already kno i need to do that
but at other times (mainly when im with my friends or talking to them) im happy and upbeat and talkative and outgoing but when im not with my friends i feel like like just really really sucks and i fight with my family all the time for no reason and the smallest thing sets me off. if you have any tips or advice or personal stories or ANYTHING please help me!!!
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
Reading back through your questions, it appears that you are a young teenage girl, 14 or 15.
At this age, you are under an immense amount of stress. Stress can do insanely strange things to you. If you were to guess, when did your "depression" began? I bet it was around the time you hit puberty and/or started a new school (ie: high school or middle school)?
Stress can cause you to feel low sometimes. Stress takes a lot of your energy and time. It makes you unable to focus. You may not sleep well because of the amount of stress.
You are being stressed every day by every one around you. Your peers stress you more than anyone. They want you to be perfect in their eyes. Being female, you have to constantly keep in check of things like, "Do my friends like me? Does the hot boy like me? Will my friends approve of this outfit? Will my friends think I'm pretty? Do I fit in? Are people picking on me? If they are picking on me, is there something wrong with me?"
Your body is quickly growing and maturing so some of your features may not be perfected yet. I am not saying this is you at all, but this is when a lot of teenage girls feel they MUST get a boob or nose job. It simply comes down the fact that they are STILL GROWING--but all they know is that their peers are pressuring them to have nice bodies and faces right off the bat.
Your parents pressure you too, believe it or not. It's been awhile since they were your age and, even at that, they didn't have to go nearly the amount of stress you do each day. You are being pressured from peers, parents, and the media CONSTANTLY. Anyway, your parents really want you to make good grades, which makes lots of time studying and focusing--that causes a problem--if you are constantly using your time to figure out if your friends will accept you, how are you suppose to take the time to study for perfect grades? Two parents against 50 peers? Yeah, I thought so.
Then we have the media, that is constantly marketing toward you. They keep telling you things like, "Buy this product. You'll be more beautiful!" "Have sex! It's safe, fun, and it makes people like you!" "Get naked! The more skin you show, the sexier you are. The sexier you are, the more guys that will like you!" What they aren't telling you is that the product is not going to CREATE beauty out of nothing--it is only to ENHANCE what you already have. They don't tell you that condoms are 88% effective TYPICALLY and birth control pills are 92% effective TYPICALLY on preventing pregnancy. No sex is safe, there is a fastly growing number of STDs that NO "protection" actually protects you from. Nobody likes sluts. They also don't tell you that the more skin you show, the more you're not going to be treated like a lady by those men that are after--SEX! What a concept!
Anyway, under stress, animals self-harm too. People are just like that. Ever see a girl biting her nails when she was under stress? What about a girl biting her nails all the way down until they bled right before a BIG test? I have. It's stress.
Of course you don't feel good enough. Everybody around you is pressuring you for MORE.
Of course you cannot focus. You have A LOT on your plate right now. The big picture is pretty darn BIG.
Your emotions are nutso because your hormones are going crazy while you're under this amount of stress. People are constantly pushing for more, your body is quickly growing, and your emotions are going out of whack because of this.
It's okay to see a therapist, but I would defiantly not jump to depression. When you start telling yourself that you have something, your mind starts to develop those symptoms. If you keep telling yourself, "I'm not pretty! I am not pretty! I am NOT pretty!" then your mind alters a little and you start to care less and less about your appearance--you start to not do your hair, nails, and go unwashed for a day or two because you're not pretty anyway, right? Wrong. You convinced yourself of that.
Try not to convince yourself that you have something wrong with you.
You are a normal, stressed-out teenager, most likely.
You need to relax.
By relax I do not mean drugs or sex.
I mean, RELAX.
Sit down and write it out.
Your peers are just your peers. It's okay if you don't meet up to their standards. When you're 30--will they even care what you wore last week?
Your parents only mean well. Do your best, focus on your work instead of popularity, and RELAX. If you make a B and you studied as hard as you could then that is what you could do.
Don't buy into the media bullcrap. Who needs some of that crap anyway? Do you realllllly want to put yourself at risk for STDs when they're growing like they are just because the trojan man said it's safe? Hah.
It will be okay.
Breathe.
Take some time for yourself.
Get your mind sorted out.
Talk it out to a counselor if you'd like, but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not convince yourself you are messed up.
My best is that you're just stressed.
I would place big money on that.
If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
P.S. I am no doctor; although, I have had some psychology courses in college. My advice is, obviously, not from a professional. If you feel you need to seek professional help then please do so. My opinions are only that--opinions, thoughts, ideas.
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Going to your doctor is the wise thing. Good for you for making that choice.
Yes, it does sound like it could be depression. I've felt those things, too, and also had to go to my doctor in order to get the help ball rolling.
However, when you go to your doctor, you need to talk about cutting yourself. Self mutilation is NEVER the way to break the cycle. There are other healthier ways to do that.
Think about it. What IS self harm? Is it not a form of self punishment? Seems to me that it is. Perhaps, though you may not admit it even to yourself, you feel better by cutting yourself because you feel you need to punish yourself for some odd reason? You don't need to at all.
I'm not a professional at all. I don't want to give that impression. I'm just throwing my thoughts out in the wind.
I will tell you that taking the steps to visit your doctor is taking steps towards that light at the end of your tunnel. Even if you have to seek psychiatric help to get past your cutting issues, grab for that chance.
You deserve far better than to feel the way you do. You deserve far better than hurting yourself.
ygs-30/f
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