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scared that iam preganant
Iam 19 years old but i don't have the mind of a 19 year old i have a mind of a 12 year old so basically iam a 12 year old in a 19 year old body and i am having a baby and iam scared half out of my mind becouse i live with my cousin and since i know becouse of my learning disability i wouldn't be able to take care of a baby by myself and i moved out of my mom's house and moved in with my cousin and she wouldn't be able to help me becouse she has enough problems of her own trying to raise a 17 year old autistis son without trying to help me raise mine what shousld i do please help me.
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Want to answer more questions in the Domesticity category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Parenting?
I understand your problem and I'm sure a lot of young women are in your same situation--mentally not able to handle raising a child.
If you are pregnant you need to look into putting the child up for adoption, plain and simple. You simply cannot raise a child until it's grown and you know this is not your cousin's burden to carry. I know deep inside you might like to have this baby and try to care for it but to a certain point you are just unable to. Your job now is to give the baby the best things you can, which means finding fit parents. Please keep that in mind.
There are lots of reliable adoption agencies out there now. Some of these agencies will even let you meet possible parents. Get in touch with some and tell them your situation--you are mentally handicap and are pregnant, unable to raise the child properly, and are searching for good parents to give the baby the best life possible. There is someone out there that desperately wants your baby already.
You can contact an adoption agency in your area or you can relinquish [give up] your rights to your child and place it in the custody of the state for adoption. I've read something about Volunteers of America for adoptions being really good but I have no personal experience with them myself. Here is a link directing you to their site:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
So, you need to start going to the doctor (OB/GYN) for pregnant women so they can keep a check on your baby and your health. You'll need to take some vitamins they give you--prenatal vitamins--to make sure your baby will be healthier. Eat right and exercise lightly so your delivery will go smoothly. Try to walk around the block a time or two each day so that you and your baby stay healthy and your delivery goes by quickly.
The healthier your baby is, the more likely people will want to adopt him or her right away. Most couples looking to adopt want a baby--newborn if possible. Sure, if the baby is born with a handicap he/she will still, most likely, find parents--but you want to try to give the baby the best chance at life by keeping yourself healthy with the doctor visits, exercise, and vitamins.
Even if you're not going to keep the baby you need to be a good mother by staying healthy. Mentally you cannot raise this baby--but physically you can help it grow right now. Please give your baby the best life you can by staying healthy during pregnancy and finding him/her a good home with good parents who can raise him/her.
Please do not choose to have an abortion. Abortion can be really, really hard on your body and you may never recover physically or mentally. You can be left with scars and it can lead to major depression. If you need more information about this, send me a question in my inbox and I will supply you lots of information as to why abortion is very unhealthy for women (and deadly in some cases).
Sex means you're going to make babies. I know a lot of teens now have sex and think nothing of it--but sex is really meant for us to make babies. Please reconsider your actions and do other things with your time that do not put you in this situation. You need to protect yourself from diseases too. Lots of people have them and don't even know it. Do you know that about 80% of the US has herpes? You really don't want to risk getting these sorts of illnesses.
So this is what you need to do:
1. Start going to the doctor regularly.
2. Try to exercise lightly and eat right.
3. Find an appropriate adoption agency.
4. Learn this lesson. Stop having sex.
If you don't learn this right now then you're going to get yourself into a big mess. Sex means making babies--even if you use a condom, even if you're on birth control pills, even if the penis only went in your body once. Babies come when sex happens. Babies don't know that you're not ready for them. Babies don't know if you're able to raise them or not. Babies just know that when you have sex they are created.
I'd hate for you to go through life doing this over and over. Imagine getting pregnant 10 times in your lifetime and having to put each and every baby up for adoption because of your disability. That would be a really sad life. Please learn this now, find your baby a good home, and stop choosing to do things that may lead to making babies.
I wish you luck on the next nine months. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
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