|
Is it an STD?
I'm a virgin. I've been proud of that my entire life, since I just entered my early 20's. It feels good to know I have pride in something. But-- It doesn't mean I've been completely prude.
Before my current boyfriend, I'd "hooked up" with one other guy, who I'd been with for 3 years. My new boyfriend and I are doing really great-- but I keep accusing him of giving me STD's, and going on and on about it until he freaks out. But, oral sex is still sex... And I could still catch something.
My vagina had some itching-burning going on.. so before getting it checked out.. I blamed him. Then, after a visit to the gyno.. turned out to be a yeast infection.
The other day, I reached to the back of my mouth.. because I felt like there was food stuck back there, and it wasn't. While trying to pull out food, I popped a blister back there! It was painless, but whatever was inside the blister, tasted sour and gross. Any idea what THAT was??
I got so mad, that I walked up to him and slapped him. This poor guy, he's been tested twice, and honestly doesn't believe he has anything. But I keep doing this to him.
Should I be worried about the blister?
How can I be nicer to him about this?.. he really might leave me one day.
Thank you
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Oral sex is not the only way to spread oral diseases. People have contracted oral (and genital on the mouth) herpes, oral hpv, oral chlamydia, oral gonorrhea, mono, etc from JUST kissing. STDs are running rampant now so it's very, very easy to catch something from anyone--even virgins (you CAN be born with STDs and not be aware of it).
Call your doctor and explain to them that you have a blister you'd like them to swab for an STD test. Tell them it has opened so you need to come soon before it heals over and they aren't able to get a good swab.
Your partner very well may leave you one day because you are being selfish by blaming him for something you aren't even sure you have yet. For all you know, you have oral herpes from kissing some guy 3 years ago and have spread it to your current partner, unknowingly.
The more you accuse your partner of giving you and STD, the more he will be inclined to go out on you. When people are accused of something over and over they tend to eventually give in and do what they have been accused of.
Go to the doctor, have the area swabbed and tested, and, while you're at it, have an STD test done on yourself. You can contract a wide variety of diseases just from kissing (and that's not even taking into account oral sex).
Sit down and talk to your partner. Tell him your worries and explain why. Have a new STD test done together to ease your minds (it is a good idea anyway). Let him know you are aware of the STD statistics today and are trying to avoid being one of them. Apologize sincerely for the way you have been acting. Stop accusing him. If you have to, start putting the blame on yourself when you find things with you that may be a sign of an STD.
If you're truly concerned then you need to stop engaging in oral sex. Seriously. I hate to say this here but it sickens me that people say, "I'm a virgin! I have only had oral sex!" That, in my book, does not make you a virgin then. I also, whole-heartedly, believe that if you have anal sex then you are not a virgin either. Your hymen is not your actual virginity, it is only a "symbol" of virginity. People can have their hymens reconstructed. People can tear their hymens while playing very active sports.
Do you think the Virgin Mary had oral sex?
Do you think she had anal sex?
Do you seriously think God said, "You should be pure on your wedding night. Virginity is something to cherish. Oh, but oral sex doesn't count! Have fun, kiddies!"
Do you understand that there is a good reason why doctor's now say, "How many people have you had oral, anal, and/or vaginal sex with?"
An intact hymen means nothing now.
You need to rethink calling yourself a virgin.
You aren't pure.
You aren't a virgin any more.
So, you need to call your doctor (TODAY) and make an appointment to have the sore swabbed and a full STD test done on yourself. If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
]
First things first: You need to apologize. A lot.
I would have dumped you by now.
Baseless accusations are MEAN.
Hitting someone is WRONG.
He is far more forgiving then I would be in his place. I'm not sure by your question that you really get how totally out of line your treatment of him was. Please understand, I’m not trying to pick on you, but I think your fear is justified. A guy SHOULD dump a girl who has behaved the way you described. It’s totally unacceptable. You need to change this.
Sex is risky. It absolutely is. But if you can't accept those risks for yourself without resulting to treating your partner like dirt, then you are not emotionally or mentally prepared to be having any kind of sex. Its okay if you can’t have oral sex because of your fears, but you need to be honest about that, not abusive.
Now, as for your blisters: You are probably fine. The STDs that are most common in the mouth cause pain and generally do not burst. What you are describing is most like a mucocele which is a bit like a pimple in your mouth, and it's harmless and painless. If you get more of them, you should go to a doctor to make sure, but what you are describing is not in line with any STD I know of.
]
Why are you automatically assuming he's giving you diseases? Just think about how much longer he's going to put up with you accusing him of something like that. It can damage your relationship because it proves you don't trust him.
The blister could have been anything, from something you've eaten to an unknown cause - they're really common. If it reappears, get it checked out, but if not, it's nothing to worry about. Read up on them.
Next time you get symptoms, put the fact it COULD be an sti/std to the back of your mind, as it's probably not the case at all.
Go to your doctor FIRST and have them diagnose you, because you're not doing a very good job at it yourself.
Honestly, stop worrying, before you push him away.
]
More Questions: |