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HIV
I am a 21 year old female with a 10 month old daughter. Her father and I broke up for a period of 3 months, and during that time, both him and I have been with other sexual partners. As ashamed as I am, I had unprotected sex for just a few minutes(I know time doesn't matter) and he also did. I'm not sure of exactly what he did, because I do not want to know for emotional reasons, however, do need to know for health reasons. I do know he slept with someone unprotected. I got tested for STD's 2 and a half months after these incidents occurred and me and him were sleeping together again. I tested positive for Chlamydia and took antibiotics immediately to cure it. HIV came up negative but it was only at 2 and a half months testing. I've read alot about HIV and usually, as I read, conclusive results will come back by 10 weeks( exactly 2 and a half months ). They reccommend waiting until 3 months and then again at 6 to be sure. I read it is very rare to get a negative at 3 months and positive at 6 but it does happen to a small percentage of people. I just got tested today for it again, which will be my 3 month mark. I suffer from anxiety attacks as it is and am extremely worried about the results. I know I already tested at 2 and a half months and I read all different things(some say 6-10 weeks, some say as early as 2 weeks, some say 3 months) ...everyones body is different so at different times it will read the antibodies in the test. However, I cannot relax about this. I know alot of people worry about it after testing, but I am extremely worried. It is all I think about and I will know the results Friday but I'm really really scared I have it. We have had risky sex with other people these past few months now knowing their sexual status. I have already beat myself up over this many times and definately learned my lesson, but I can't shake this worry. I am distant from my boyfriend and am so scared if I have it, it will ruin my child's life. I may be overthinking this, but I am terrified for Friday and the doctor saying I am HIV positive. HIV is more common than society thinks, however, it is still a rare disease. I guess my question is, do you have any advice on how I can relax and ensure myself that I do not have HIV since it already came up neg after 2 and a half months?
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My best friend used to work for AID Atlanta, a non-profit organization that administers tests for STD's and provides counseling. He was a big believer in the six month rule. So... Even if that tests comes back negative, get tested again in another three months.
While I know that discussing the details of that break-up period may be emotionally stressful... It might not be a bad idea for the two of you to contact the people you previously had relations with and ask directly whether or not they know if they have any sexually transmitted diseases. And while that may not mean that anything is concrete... It might help put your mind at ease.
I had a friend, a gay man, that once had unprotected sex with someone that later told him that an ex has ended up testing positive for HIV. I remember how terrifying that experience was for him, and how worried I was as a result. We lived together and were very close. It was like it was happening to my little brother. So... While I know that it's really hard not to panic... Try to keep this in mind...
Okay, so you and your partner both made some mistakes. But you learned your lesson and your both dealing with the consequences. Stressing out over the situation is not going to make the situation any better than it all ready is. Take the necessary steps and remind yourself that worrying about the situation is unproductive. I know that isn't much... But let's say, worse case scenario... The test comes back positive one day. If so, you and your partner will deal with the circumstances. There are treatments available... And while you may have to make some changes and start asking yourself some scary questions... You can handle this. But right now, thinking that far into the future isn't going to help you. You'll cross that bridge when you get there... If you ever do.
My thoughts are with you.
Ps. I don't know where you live, but your state may have an organization similiar to AID Atlanta. I know you've all ready had the test, but maybe you could benefit from some free counselling. A professional would probably be able to offer you way more help than this website.
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The truth of the matter is you need to get tested for HIV/AIDs every 6 months for 10 years. No joke. This is not to be taken lightly under no circumstances. This is the health of you, your partner, and your future children that we're talking about. Get tested every 6 months for at least 10 years.
You have every right to be anxious about the results. You NEED to be nervous about this. You did a bad thing. You were not using your brain. Consequences happen, as you well know. You shouldn't be looking for, "How do I ease my mind after almost 3 months?" You should be asking for, "Should I take more than one HIV/AIDs test every 6 months just to ensure the safety of myself and my partner?"
You need to have your partner tested.
If he did not take the prescribed medicine for chlamydia then you two are just going to throw it back and forth. It isn't going to magically go away at any point. Even if he was tested and showed negative he needs to be tested again.
STDs are very, very common. Here are some very scary statistics:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
HIV antibodies can have a much longer of a window than 2 and 1/2 months. The standard time of the window is usually actually 3 months in the beginning. It's more common than you know that people come back positive after those 3 months, which is why the 6 month period is pressed so much (think of this: if it isn't THAT common, then why do they keep mentioning it?). This means you get tested after 3 months of that sexual encounter, then 3 months after that, then 6 months, then 6 months, then 6 months, etc. Get tested until you can no longer stand it, and then get tested again.
The "window" between exposure and the amount of antibodies produced really varies from person to person. Sometimes this varies wildly. I clearly remember a man who had not had sexual relations for 10 long years and suddenly he became ill. He went for tests for this and that and found that he had HIV/AIDs. He had been tested years prior to that and had always came back negative. It was a big news story and it shocked a lot of people.
Take note that if you, for some stupid reason, decide to not get tested again then you may still develop AIDs with no symptoms:
"More persistent or severe symptoms may not surface for 10 years or more after HIV first enters the body in adults, and within 2 years in children born with HIV. This period of "asymptomatic" infection is variable, however, and can depend on many factors, including a person's health status and their health-related behaviors. Some people may begin to have symptoms in as soon as a few months, whereas others may be symptom-free for more than 10 years. During the asymptomatic period, however, HIV is actively infecting and killing cells of the immune system."
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Keep in mind this:
You are wanted to be unhealthy. Media keeps telling 13 year old girls to have sex to become popular. Media tells people that using condoms always makes sex safe. Media tells people that if they "accidentally" become pregnant then they can throw the life away with no repercussions. Media keeps pushing that sex is no big deal, feel-good, and that nothing bad can come of it in the long run. Is any of this actually true? No. Hell no.
Media will tell you that STDs are really bad and every where, but that if you get tested once or twice then you're safe. That isn't so true, of course. There is a reason why decently SMART people in open relationships get tested every 3 to 6 months. There is a reason why swingers get tested every 3 to 6 months even if they haven't had sexual relations in that time. There is a reason why retired porn stars STILL get tested every 3 to 6 months for YEARS after their career has ended. There is a reason why the doctor asks how many sexual partners you've had so they can estimate mentally how high your risk has been.
If someone had sex with you for 5 seconds, unprotected, that you didn't know so well--how many other people have been with that person? What about the people who have been with each person this specific man has been with? I would be that number would be a lot greater than 20. Do you really think there is a small chance? I don't.
HIV/AIDs will ruin your life.
It will ruin your child's life.
It will ruin your partner's life.
It will ruin the guy you had relations with for a few seconds.
It will ruin your entire world, one person at a time.
Your friends will be worried.
Your parents will be worried.
You'll be ill and won't be able to tend to things properly.
Your friends and family will become ill with worry.
Get tested every 6 months for 10 years. THAT is what you NEED to do. Nothing is going to ease your mind unless you cut out your conscience completely. Don't let people say, "Oh, don't worry about it! You're safe!" Those SAME people had sex with 3 people when they were 13 for fun. Those SAME people don't use condoms but have had over 10 partners. Those SAME people do not get tested regularly and may be spreading an illness to many people. Those SAME people are self-centered, and as long as they have a good time, they don't care about you.
Keep getting tested.
If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me!
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There isnt really anything we can say. I will pray for you. And i know some might think that is much, but God works in mysterious ways you know. Wish you the best of luck.
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well if your so unsure just take another test
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