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I have a friend..well she might be. She is from Taiwan and she has lived in the U.S. for 2-3 years already. What bugs me is this: she doesn't know very much English. And this BUGS me! She'll say something like, "He don't like fish" or something and I'm like DOESN'T! Anyways, that's not all. When we go to the movies or wherever, and she's paying for both of us, she won't talk to the people giving out tickets. She'll make me order them because "she's scared". Scared of being made fun of for her English. And she makes me go with her when she has to talk to a teacher. And we were at a party and we were playing a game where you describe something until someone guesses it. Well she got all quiet and she said that she was about to cry because she doesn't know much English.
Also when she eats she lowers her head to her plate instead of lifting her fork to her mouth. Just everything she does bugs me! I've told her and she started writing me all these notes saying "Are you mad at me? -Your best friend".
She doesnt even try to learn English, she and her family only speak Chinese in their house.
What do I do?
Well my first impulse after reading this is that you should go easy on her. I certainly can understand how you might be annoyed with the situation, but remember that talent for languages is not something everyone has.
All of my schooling took place in international schools, so I have always been around every kind of foreigner imaginable. All of them were trying to learn English. One thing that became very apparent was that some could pick it up after a few weeks while others, 10 years later, still had a crappy accent and somewhat poor grammar. And this is despite the fact that we had excellent teachers, all British or American, in a private school environment.
Keep in mind also that English is one of the hardest languages to learn well. They say that most people can pick up a bit quite easily, but it is actually one of the hardest languages in the world to master (i.e. not to sound foreign).
Ok sorry I went on a bit there. On to what you should do. Try to focus on her good qualities. Focus on the things that made you friends with her in the first place (maybe she is loyal, or fun, or generous).
Having lived in several different countries, I can relate to the embarassment of trying to learn a new language. Not everyone has this, but I am guessing she is much like me in this respect. What she needs there is gentle encouragement. If one jumps on her mistakes she will close up and be less inclined to experiment later. She is probably very self conscious about her mistakes, you need to make her feel as though it is ok for her to mess up. That way she will slowly try more.
In any case, I would recommend that you bear with it. Try to keep in mind that this is very hard for her. Also it sounds as though she is scared to lose you as a friend. Give her the extra room to be a little weird or a little annoying. I think, in the long run, the friendship may end up being worth it.
Good luck.
would you consider "to hell with it" to be vulgar? as in cursing?
Not at all.
I'm confused. There are all these different terms for various body types: pear shape, hourglass, apple shape... I don't know what type I am! Explanations on the internet are often vague -- do these generalisations apply to all women? I'm not sure where I fit in.
Let's see, if it helps... I'm 164cm, 52kg, with a well-proportioned chest (relative to my body), fairly narrow waist, large thighs and hips (but otherwise slender limbs, e.g. arms), just a bit of belly, and... umm, a well-rounded backside. Does anybody know what body type I am?
Well its hard to say. I believe that hourglass usually refers to the "ideal" female shape (lol if there is such a thing). Pear shape is when your bottom end is disproportionately big. Apple shape I think only applies to plump guys (but you get the idea... its being kinda round).
Its all a question of proportions. I dont think you fit perfectly into any of these categories. Certainly you dont sound pear or apple shaped. So, by process of elimination, I guess the closest would be hourglass.
1.quickest way too get stomache flatter.. and loose the love handles.?
2. i do 300 crunches every night how long do you think it will take to see improvment, i mean i can feel it and all but when will i see it.?
3. i am 5'3 and i weigh 120, how do i loose more weight, healthy but fast?
Just to elaborate a bit on Mike's advice... the reason you feel it but dont see it, is because what you have done is build a layer of muscle under the fat.
Since weight loss is a product of a negative calorie deficit and since crunches dont burn a lot of calories, it follows that doing 300 crunches is not a great way to help yourself lose weight. Also, in case you are not aware, it is humanly impossible to target fat loss to an area of the body through exercise. You can lose weight overall, or not at all.
So, eat healthy, eat less than you burn, eat frequently (4-6 meals), eat balanced (all food groups), eat low on saturated fats & sugar, and drink plenty of water. As for exercising the more of your body you work the better it is.
You should not try to lose more than a couple of lbs a week as it isnt healthy.
Good luck.
okay i have two questions.
1. What is a quick way/good diet/exercises that i can do to make me loose more weight faster?
2. How can i get rid of my love handles as fast as possible.
1- You should not lose more than 2 pounds a week or so, as it is not healthy. The best form of exercise to lose fat is a weight training and cardio combination. Three times a week for each would be great.
Try to create a deficit of 500 calories a day or so. Remember that to optimise your weight loss efforts you should try to speed up your metabolism. This is done through resistance training (weights) and by eating very very frequently. Ideally you should split up your calories over 4-6 evenly spaced balanced meals every day.
Stay away from saturated fats and eat moderately on carbs. Also very important is to drink a lot of water.
2- The only way to lose your love handles is to lower your overall bodyfat percentage. You cannot spot reduce fat (i.e. you cannot target it to an area of the body through exercise), humans dont work that way. Crunches, side thingies, twistie thingies etc will build some muscle to the area and that is all they will do. So the clear choice is to train your whole body.
So, the answer to question two is identical to question one.
Good luck.
my friend is doing a 300 cal a day diet and exercises off the other cals she eats. and i know its bad but really i see her loosing weight and i am very jealous and i want to try it. could anyone give me more information on the out come.
ill rate 5's
Let me just add my voice to the chorus of displeased columnists. Your friend needs help and, as everyone has said, you should not be jealous. Be worried.
You should also be aware that she has probably digested every bit of muscle in her body. Muscle is the first to go during starvation periods (and what she is doing qualifies as starvation with a capital S).
Get her help and get it fast. Tell her parents or anyone that can influence her if you cant change her mind.
Good luck to you and your friend.
what is a good pase to loss weight so i dont loss too much too fast and have hanging/saggy skin?(like ounds a week?)
Not more than 2 pounds per weeek. However, depending on how old you are and how overweight you are, there is no guarantee that you wont have some saggy skin.
well you see i am soooooo guilty of what i have done i well... looked at porn all different kinds and i feel so guilty should i like bow down to my parents and like tell tem or shoul i live with it? I'm going on a trip in like a couple weeks and i dont think its going to be any fun being guilty. but i realized if i tell them i might not get to go on the trip!!!! HELP ME PLEASE!!!
Seriously no big deal. The guilt is normal for young people and it will pass. It should pass quicker if you try to remember that you didnt do anything wrong. No one got hurt in any way, you just looked at something. No sweat.
Dont worry about the addiction thing either. Unless your closet is full of porn and you are currently investing in a new harddisk- you know, cause 160GB just cant fit all the vids you downloaded :) - then you are just fine.
Sometimes people blow this porn thing out of proportion. To think of all the real problems in the world today, I just cant believe people can get themselves to give a damn about this. Anyways, enjoy your trip, dont tell your parents, and just remind yourself that what you did was no big deal.
What exercises can I do to remove fat off of my love handles/sides?
xEVYx's advice is very good. There are no specific exercises to reduce fat (fat reduction cannot be targetted or spot reduced as its called).
It follows that, apart from what you eat, doing a full body workout is far more beneficial than specific exercises. Mind you, Im not saying doing funky crunches or whatever is bad, building a bit of muscle will tighten you up a bit. However, the key here is to reduce your overall bodyfat percentage. Thats pretty much down to exercise in general, and diet.
Good luck.
how do you flatten your stomach out? im trying to eat better and doing lemon squeezes(if you know what they are) but its just not working. i have muscle at the top, but then a little above my belly button its all ..not musclely. lol uuh are there way to flatten it out by summer?
A flat stomach is all about your overall fat percentage. Crunches/ situps etc dont really do much other than build up muscle under the fat (remember humans cannot target fat loss). Some muscle is good of course, but it doesnt have all that much to do with a flat stomach.
Running, sports etc will also only help if you have created the right calorie deficit, and if you eat smart. As such, they do not neccessarily lead to a flat stomach.
So, the answer to your question is to make sure you eat right (eat many small meals, eat less than you burn, etc) and get your body fat down. Of course, the more active you are the easier it will be. Certainly dont focus just on stomach exercises, its not very beneficial.
For general weight loss, doing weights is great for the metabolism. Probably the best way to lose fat is a weight training and cardio combination.
me and my boyfriend have decided on having a sexual relationship and he told me like how big it was he said like 5 inches idk if that is big or is it like average?
Its a normal length, on the smaller side of average.
Heyya ! :)
I was just wondering, how many minutes a day would I have to jump rope to lose weight? Consider that I'm also eating healthy and walking 30 minutes to school, and 30 minutes back. How much would I lose in a week? month? year? if I kept going with this excersize/diet.
Look, there is no way anyone can answer your main question. This is because how much you lose is not just a product of how much you exercise. It is the result of the negative calorie balance that you create.
Now, rather than look at it that way, try a different approach. Consider that it is not healthy to lose more than a couple of pounds a week. So, if you are doing everything right, aim to lose just that.... 2lbs/week. If you are losing much less, then you need to eat a few less calories or be a bit more active.
As for the second part of your question, start with some non strenuous activity. Warming up doesnt have to take much more than five minutes or so. Of most relevance are the muscles you are about to be using. In this case it should be mainly your legs and arms, but to some extent pretty much your whole body. I would suggest a slow jog.
Once you have warmed up (and not before) you should stretch your muscles. Here are some stretches intended for runners, but they should be just as useful for you:
http://www.coolrunning.com/engine/2/2_1/126.shtml#hipback
Anyways happy exercising!
Let's say I take the rest of the year off (until summer) and do nothing but work out, like ATLEAST 3 houres/ day. Sometimes more. How much will I lose in that amount of time?
Another scenario, let's say I run 2 houres a day, for the rest of this month ( + eat healthy/ drink lots of water) would that be better? And would that help me loose the extra fat I have?
Ok, first of all, for both scenarios you would definately lose weight. Whenever you exercise + eat healthy/smart + create a calorie deficit you will lose weight.
That being said, heres whats wrong with those scenarios. The first one is overkill, and you might end up hurting yourself. I am referring to the 3 hours daily workout. Unless you are really fit, and are used to that kind of workload, then its overtraining. Mind you, no matter what, one should never exercise EVERY day... even top athletes get rest days. Its just not good for you.
Now as for the second scenario... The training is still excessive. Two hours of running a day is extremely hard on the body. Also, the time span is not so great. Since it is rarely a good idea to lose more than a couple of pounds a week, all you will lose are a few lbs by the end of the month.
Might I suggest an in between scenario. Ideally, the more long term you plan your fitness the better. The most effective program doesnt really have an end date. It just becomes the way you live your life.
Whatever you do remember your rest days. You should have one a week, more if you are not used to training like this. Also, you will get better results incorporating weight training into your routine. You can get away with less than a total 2 hour workout doing weights plus a cardio and get great results.
Anyway, good luck.
Well, my boyfriend and i have been together for about 1 week now. we r like really cute together and everything but there is just one thing. he told me best friend that he was comfused because this other gurl likes him and he thinks he might like her too. he said he didn't know what to do because he loves me but wants to give the other gurl a chance. I was i guess just wondering how i could keep him to myself so he won't feel like he wants to be with anyone else. please someone help me. I'll rate high!!
I am sorry, but i just dont understand how he can come and tell you he wants to give another girl a chance. A chance to what? To replace you if she turns out to be better?
I doubt there is anything specific you can do to keep him to yourself. It seems like he is weighing his options- and after only one week too! Even if you figure something out, it will likely only last until the next time he wants to give another girl a chance.
I dont know this guy, so I can only comment on what you have written. I seriously dont think you should put up with this. He is totally ignoring your feelings in this matter and that seems kind of selfish in my eyes.
I was reading through your column and your answer for the question about teaching Wicca to a child really interested me. I understand that you feel imposing beliefs that can't be proven on a child is wrong. It makes perfect sense and sounds unethical, but what SHOULD you do? There are a lot of adults that actively practice and celebrate their religion. I mean, are you saying that these adults shouldn't take their kids to church (if their religion involves that) or celebrate certain holidays? Should children be alienated, in a way, from the rest of their families so that they can keep a pure mind? As you mentioned, children don't begin to understand religion until they are a little older anyway. If, when they learn that their parents aren't always right and they don't agree with their parents' religion they don't have to believe it. I don't think that children can truly believe in religion in the first place. It's too advanced. Children participate in religion because it gives them time with their families and people that they love, and it's a source of entertainment with all the stories and things involved. What are they supposed to do in the meantime if they can't practice religion? I've always believed that religion can make a family very close and less likely to have problems. I'm not saying you're wrong, I just want to know a little more about your point of view and learn some more about this topic. I'd like to have my own children someday and I want to raise them the right way. :) Thank you.
You know, there is nothing a theoretician fears more that to deal with the practical application of his theories :)
Before I answer your question, let me just explain a bit how my mind works. It might clarify why I express myself very strongly in certain situations without actually offering a viable practical alternative.
The thing that interests me in life is the theoretical foundations upon which practical applications are built. I will take the philosophical approach whenever I can get away with it. Once one has formulated the best possible theory (without any regard to practical application just yet), then one begins to see how to best fit it into society. Thats when you have to begin to compromise (unfortunately).
What I offered in that answer that you are referring to, is pure theory. However, now that you force me to look at the practical side of things it is clear that it will be impossible to completely remove a child from ones religious activities.
My main problem with this situation is that once a child has been exposed regularly to these views, it will take a truly strong character to question them. That is why it is rather rarely done. This is particularly true for religions that include an element of fear ("you will burn in hell"), but also applies to a lesser extent to atheists that impose their views upon their children.
The fact that a child (as you pointed out) cannot even grasp religion, is particularly why it is almost unfair to expose them to it. In a manner of speaking one could say that they are yet to have any defences against it (bit harsh but you get my point).
So what should one do? The short answer in my opinion is "Expose them as little as possible without hurting the child in other ways". This will vary from situation to situation. If the child wants to go to church, then take him along. If he doesn't then let him stay home. If the child asks about the religion, then answer his questions.
Now, if it were up to me, and if I were dealing with a particularly curious child, I would encourage him to see that there are other religions, and other non religious points of view. Essentially I would try to keep his mind as open as possible, until he is able to evaluate things on his own. Usually religious parents have a tendency to preach. When asked questions they tend to present the child with "the truth", not with "their opinion on the truth". I think it makes a big difference how one presents things.
I hope this makes some sense, it is a bit disorganised. In the end, what I am saying is that its not necessarily a bad thing to inform a child, but one should avoid preaching and imposing opinions upon them. At least as much as possible anyway. Hope this answers your question adequately.
Hi, I am the maid of honor for my best friends wedding on May 13th. I got a dress that was too small, but I've been woorking out and I've changed my eating habits. I can now fit the dress, but I am a little uncomfortable with the top. The dress is a halter and the area around my chest, breast, and upper back are kind of squished in. Are there any particular exercises I can do to make it fit better up there? I have less than 3 weeks to go. I've upped my cardio to about 1.25-1.5 hours a day plus weight training. I just want to slim down up there. Please Help!!!!!
I seriously dont think there is much more you can do. You have taken every effort that I can think of. The only concern I have when I read this is that you dont overdo it. One and a half hours of cardio is a hell of a lot and with weights on top of that too...
Its not really healthy to lose more than a couple of pounds a week. Sometimes you can push that number just a bit, but what you are doing now seems like a tad more than that.
I hope you dont mean every single day btw. You do need rest days.
Anyway, since one cant spot reduce fat, there are no specific exercises that will help you lose weight there. If you are weight training you would have tightened those areas up a bit, which is the most one can do really.
Anyways, congrats on your efforts. It sounds like you are really commited. Just dont kill yourself though trying to be more healthy :)
Okay, so it's almost summer time and I would like to look good in a bikini. I'm 14 years old and about 4"10. But I'm not sure which exercises to do. What exercises should I do for:
Thighs?
Stomach?
Love Handles?
Upper Arms?
&&&&&&&
Calves?
Here is a link. Just click on the muscle you want to train:
http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/exercises.htm
Just remember though, you can never spot reduce fat through exercise, you can only build muscle on the area. So, if you are worried about love handles for example, that all comes down to diet and general exercise. From this it follows that it is far more advantageous to do a full body routine than to focus on a few isolated muscles.
Anyways happy exercising.
how can i no the girl i love is virgin or not how can i no.doest it look different or something plz some 1 answer my question i will be greatful.
There is no way to know for sure. Often virgins still have their hymen, which is the thing that bleeds the first time they have intercourse (hence the "popping the cherry" expression). However, if a girl does not have it anymore, it does not mean she had to have had sex, since the hymen can be broken accidentally.
Im sorry but there is no conclusive way for you to know, anymore than there is any conclusive way for her to know you are a virgin. The closest I could think of is a lie detector test, but even they dont have a particularly good track record.
You will just have to trust her I guesss. Good luck.
how can i gain wait? im 15/f i have a fast matabolism and i cant seem to gain weight past 100. my mom said that if i dont gain weight than she is going to take me to the hospital for crazy people....no offence ok.....and i dont know what to do....i dont even know what foods fatten people up....can you help me? my mom is mean. lol. just because im skinny and shes not doesnt mean that she has to be mean to me.....so does anyone now any fattening foods
One of my best friends is just like you in this respect. He is a guy and, ever since I have known him, he has been thin as a stick. The thing is, this guy eats like a pig. I am not exagerrating here, he eats all the unhealthy stuff you could imagine, and in large quanities.
They ran a program on skinny people on TV once. It was fascinating, some of them were drinking cream by the carton every day with no effect. The reason I am saying this is because eating a lot of crap might not have the effect you desire.
Also, another important note, is that even though you dont gain weight, it does not mean its healthy to eat only crap (you still get cholesterol problems for example, those are not really weight related).
Now, what I would recommend would be to try to go to the gym and put on some weight through weight training. Then create a nice calorie surplus, with the right emphasis on protein, and you should be well on your way. It is a lot healthier and probably more effective than eating a lot of junkfood or whatever.
Of course consulting a doctor on this matter, as suggested below, is never a bad idea.
Good luck.
Oh, and just to answer the main part of your question, usually fattening foods are things containing excessive amounts of saturated fat or sugar. This includes things like junk foods, sweets, sodas, mayo, cream, most cheeses, butter, fatty meats, deep fried stuff etc. Again though, this stuff is not healthy and may not work on you anyway.
Do boys consider makeup to be a turnoff? I know that wearing too much makeup is definitely a turn-off, but I mean makeup in general. I know how to put on makeup very well, and people tell me I do and seek advice from me about it, but I just need to know whether boys think it looks unattractive.
No most guys dont. Like you said, if its too much, then we dont like it. The definition of "too much" varies a bit from guy to guy. However, I have never met a guy that had a problem with the whole concept of makeup.