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wicca question
I was reading through your column and your answer for the question about teaching Wicca to a child really interested me. I understand that you feel imposing beliefs that can't be proven on a child is wrong. It makes perfect sense and sounds unethical, but what SHOULD you do? There are a lot of adults that actively practice and celebrate their religion. I mean, are you saying that these adults shouldn't take their kids to church (if their religion involves that) or celebrate certain holidays? Should children be alienated, in a way, from the rest of their families so that they can keep a pure mind? As you mentioned, children don't begin to understand religion until they are a little older anyway. If, when they learn that their parents aren't always right and they don't agree with their parents' religion they don't have to believe it. I don't think that children can truly believe in religion in the first place. It's too advanced. Children participate in religion because it gives them time with their families and people that they love, and it's a source of entertainment with all the stories and things involved. What are they supposed to do in the meantime if they can't practice religion? I've always believed that religion can make a family very close and less likely to have problems. I'm not saying you're wrong, I just want to know a little more about your point of view and learn some more about this topic. I'd like to have my own children someday and I want to raise them the right way. :) Thank you.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Parenting?
You know, there is nothing a theoretician fears more that to deal with the practical application of his theories :)
Before I answer your question, let me just explain a bit how my mind works. It might clarify why I express myself very strongly in certain situations without actually offering a viable practical alternative.
The thing that interests me in life is the theoretical foundations upon which practical applications are built. I will take the philosophical approach whenever I can get away with it. Once one has formulated the best possible theory (without any regard to practical application just yet), then one begins to see how to best fit it into society. Thats when you have to begin to compromise (unfortunately).
What I offered in that answer that you are referring to, is pure theory. However, now that you force me to look at the practical side of things it is clear that it will be impossible to completely remove a child from ones religious activities.
My main problem with this situation is that once a child has been exposed regularly to these views, it will take a truly strong character to question them. That is why it is rather rarely done. This is particularly true for religions that include an element of fear ("you will burn in hell"), but also applies to a lesser extent to atheists that impose their views upon their children.
The fact that a child (as you pointed out) cannot even grasp religion, is particularly why it is almost unfair to expose them to it. In a manner of speaking one could say that they are yet to have any defences against it (bit harsh but you get my point).
So what should one do? The short answer in my opinion is "Expose them as little as possible without hurting the child in other ways". This will vary from situation to situation. If the child wants to go to church, then take him along. If he doesn't then let him stay home. If the child asks about the religion, then answer his questions.
Now, if it were up to me, and if I were dealing with a particularly curious child, I would encourage him to see that there are other religions, and other non religious points of view. Essentially I would try to keep his mind as open as possible, until he is able to evaluate things on his own. Usually religious parents have a tendency to preach. When asked questions they tend to present the child with "the truth", not with "their opinion on the truth". I think it makes a big difference how one presents things.
I hope this makes some sense, it is a bit disorganised. In the end, what I am saying is that its not necessarily a bad thing to inform a child, but one should avoid preaching and imposing opinions upon them. At least as much as possible anyway. Hope this answers your question adequately.
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