Hi! Thanks for stopping by. I'm in college and living in the west coast of the USA. For somebody my age, I think I have an unusual amount of life experience. If you ask me for advice, I'll do my best to help.
Gender: Female
Location: the USA, Europe and Asia
Occupation: student
Member Since: May 22, 2010
Answers: 17
Last Update: July 19, 2022
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I made this guy friend almost a year ago and we snapchat everyday and sometimes talk at school. I think he’s obsessed with me though, he gets angry about any male attention i get or if i mention another male. He is constantly getting annoyed at me for stupid things that he over thinks about. He talks to me so nice when he’s happy when he’s not he speaks to me so rudely and i don’t like it. He always starts arguments if anything i do annoys him even though we are just friends. I get anxiety when he starts an argument with me. I really like being his friend but hate this side of him it makes me feel really awful and anxious. What do i do? (link)
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That sounds like a difficult situation, I am sorry you are going through this. Your friend is showing an inappropriate level of obsessiveness over you. He is crossing boundaries he shouldn't as a friend or even if he was your romantic partner. Talking everyday is something that dating people do, and is not suitable for a normal friendship. He probably has some level of romantic feelings for you but is either unaware of them or unwilling to confess to you.
A friend who's main motivation is your best interest will not try to control you or other people from paying attention to you (especially guys). Speaking to you rudely and getting consistently annoyed at you is wrong. You deserve to be treated with respect and understanding. You deserve to explore healthy romantic relationships and friendships with whomever you decide is right for you.
As girls, we are taught by society to be nice under all circumstances. This teaching is incorrect for situations where we are not treated with respect. You have to be firm, aggressive and set boundaries to protect yourself. Obsessive people can become possessive and dangerous if they become too involved.
I would recommend reading a book about boundaries. There are good books out there like "Boundaries Where You End And I Begin: How To Recognize And Set Healthy Boundaries" by Anne Katherine or "Boundaries Updated and Expanded Edition: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life" by Henry Cloud (this one if you're Christian). An example might be " Can I talk to you about something because I value our friendship? When you criticized me after I did X, I felt bad. When I went home I felt anxious and insecure. I would would appreciate it if you could help me recognize things I can like about myself. Can you join me in recognizing things I can like about myself and avoid raising your voice at me in the future?"
Another example would be not snapchatting everyday. Maybe reduce it to twice a week, and then once a week.
Set boundaries with him and see how he responds. If he respects your boundaries, he will learn to be a better friend and your friendship will improve. If he doesn't respect your boundaries, this tells you he wants you to meet his needs at the expense of violating your needs, without treating you like a person.
In either case, it's very important to start investing seriously in your other friendships and creating some distance in this one. Spend more time with other existing friends, supportive family members or meeting new people. Spend less time with this friend and create some distance in physical space, social media and emotions. This will make this friendship healthier and strengthen your support network, especially in situations where he makes you feel awful and anxious.
There are cases where you need to end friendships if they become unhealthy or dangerous.I am concerned because you feel awful and anxious. Trust your gut feelings. If this is the case with this guy friend, this is a normal, brave and healthy thing to do.
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I have created a really messed up situation with my regional sales manager at work. We both did wrong but now I am stuck and not sure how to untangle it all without damaging my future. Even though I resent some things that have happened I am also not interested in causing problems for her or my company if it can be avoided.
I am 28M (Josh) and a field sales representative for past three years. I am still one of the youngest people with a territory my size and my growth and retention numbers are consistently higher than most. I work with buyers for other companies, so building strong personal relationships is important and my buyers seem to love me a lot and I work hard for them.
The person who hired me is a 38F (Vickie) and she is the youngest regional manager in our company and consistently in the top 5 people in that category companywide. She gets major recognition annually at a company event year after year. She is also incredibly sexy, very flirtatious, and wicked smart. She is also born closer.
So the problem is we have been having a sexual affair since the day I interviewed. We are both single but it is obviously totally unprofessional. For three years now we spend 48 hours in a hotel room twice a month when she visits my territory. We spend 30 minutes going over my sales numbers and projections. We maybe do 6 hours of calls on major clients. The rest of the time it is relentless sex with her in charge. No romance. Just a sex marathon.
I could try and blame her and say she seduced me or whatever but I have always been a more than eager participant so I am just as much at fault. To be honest I found it exciting and I am gym rat when not working at least partly to keep her happy with me. For whatever reason I crave her feedback on my sexual performance just as much as my job performance (which is a running joke between us).
I think I would have been hired anyway but it did not hurt she was into me and I consented to her advances. Even if I had someone else as my manager or we never had a side relationship, I feel I have proven myself on my merits with my growth and retention numbers. The one thing you could call favoritism was when a senior field representative leaves because we are in a hiring freeze my boss gets to re-assign the book of existing business to existing rep’s and I have gotten far more than my fair share of this business. It is easy money as long you take care of those existing clients. I estimate this favoritism has increased my income about 25 percent. As far as the company is concerned though, I make them a lot of money taking care of those buyers, making them happy, and doing my job well.
Here is the dilemma. I have met someone else more my age (Julia) I genuinely like at my gym. She is wonderful, we have so much in common, she is a far better person than I am but makes me want to be better. We have only had one official date but I want to get more serious. There is a lot of sexual tension even just flirting at the gym but she has been very clear she is not easy and is not going to be a “victim” of my charm,” which makes me respect her more. All the normal things I do to impress a girl she sees through and laughs at but does not seem to hold my obvious fails against me. My feelings about her are really growing. Obviously, there is no way I can get serious about Julia if I am having an ongoing sexual affair with Vickie.
I had a direct conversation with my boss, however, and she said there was no reason to stop our sexual activities and when I said I was not “comfortable” with it anymore she was very aggressive and threatened to reassign the clients. I gave in to the normal weekend of sex. If anything, she was more demanding than ever. Being blackmailed took the joy out of it, but I felt desperate to keep her happy at least for now. For the first time though I felt like the shameless man-whore I realize I have been the whole time.
If I complain and go over her head, I would be in just as much trouble. It would also be a lie to say it was anything but consensual until this last time. Plus she is a star inside our company and I am just like a baby star at best. She is more valuable to the company for PR purposes (as a female leader) and because she honestly is extremely good at her job. I am far more replaceable no matter how well I have done so far. She has allies who would help her crush me. If I quit and just walk away, I lose an incredible income which I cannot believe I am earning at my age and I am proud of what I have done in my territory. I am debt free and no one dependent on me so if I had to start over I would not be in crisis. It just sucks. Even if I had not met someone, this sexual relationship with my boss could not go on forever.
If I do get myself out of this situation, how much should I share about all this with my new person (assuming she is willing to pursue a more serious relationship than our one date)? I am also worried I may be less impressive with my current income level. I am not saying she is all about money and in fact she probably is not but I guess a lot of my ego is tied to my income at this point. I am not saying I cannot rebuild and do well at something else it is just discouraging to think about it.
Thank you for your help. Josh.
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Hi Josh, as you've recognized the situation you're in is becoming dangerous. The fact the boss doesn't respect your boundaries is a bad sign. You could be regularly sexually assaulted moving forward, and your career could be seriously damaged if your boss decides she does't like you anymore.
I would recommend starting to apply for new jobs as quickly and quietly as possible. Leave once you get a decent offer. The labor market is hot right now. The downsides you mentioned are valid, and it will be hard. But keep in mind you are young, a hard worker and have 35+ years of your career ahead of you. Any losses you experience now are nothing compared to your long-term well-being, safety and self-respect. You have plenty of time to build up your career to even higher levels than it is now. Do it for yourself. Also, you never know what incredible career opportunities may come your way. You may find yourself in a better situation in the future!
It's great you are reflecting on the situation and considering the consequence of your actions. The self-awareness and maturity you could gain from this experience is far more valuable than money. The right woman will value and care for you based on these traits more than your income level. The right woman would not want you to be in this situation with your boss, and would prefer the lower income if she had to choose (speaking from a married woman's perspective who's had dating experience).
As for telling Julia, I would say wait until you get out of the situation and have had time to reflect more on what you've learned from it. Take your time to go on many dates and get to know each other. Then, if you eventually decide to start a serious relationship and ask her to be your GF, consider telling her soon before then. Don't go into much detail and keep it brief as possible while sharing the facts. Share what you learned about yourself and your values. Answer her questions. If you honestly share the situation with self-awareness and sensitivity, this can build trust. Respect her decision to process it however she needs to. For some people it could be a big deal, for others it won't be.
Good luck and take care of yourself!
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I am having Type 2 diabetes. Let me know whether fasting can cure type 2 diabetes. (link)
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Fasting (not eating for several hours or days) is not recommended for type 2 diabetes. Fasting can be very dangerous for someone with type 2 diabetes. Type 2 diabetes is caused when your body cannot control blood sugar. If you fast with type 2 diabetes, your blood sugar may drop to dangerously low levels. This may result in dizziness, shakiness, headache and an inability to concentrate. In severe cases, this will worsen to blurred vision, muscle weakness, unconsciousness and rarely, death. Google "diabetic hypoglycemia" to learn more.
Instead, it is recommended to control type 2 diabetes by eating healthy foods. Generally, eat meals high in fresh vegetables (mainly non-starchy vegetables low in sugar like carrots, eggplant, broccoli), some fruits (like apples and berries) whole grain carbohydrates (e.g. brown bread, oatmeal), beans, poultry and fish and healthy fats (e.g. olive oil, fish oils). The key is to avoid foods high in refined sugars such as soda. I'd recommend googling diabetes meal plans from reliable sources based on science, such as the CDC website or the American Diabetes Association. These websites explain general guidelines for how to improve diabetes through diet. There are quite a few good cookbooks that follow these guidelines, that you can find at your local bookstore or on Amazon.
My dad basically cured his type 2 diabetes by following a diet similar to the one I described above.
It's a great idea to speak with your doctor or dietitian to learn more about healthy foods for type 2 diabetes.
Good luck managing your type 2 diabetes! Many people have done this successfully with healthy eating and exercise.
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Long story short, just to avoid length, I like him, he doesnt know. He explicitly stated that he'll never like me back. We're both 19, we're bestfriends. I'm hoping I'd just let this feeling fade to preserve our friendship. But everyday, it just seems like a reminder that he'll never like me back. If I become honest, he said he'll drop the friendship. (link)
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I have known many people who have tried to cross over from the friend zone to romance, only to be pushed back into the friend zone over and over with more emotional bumps and bruises. Many great things come from friendship, but when you find yourself at a dead end, do yourself a favor and put some distance in your friendship. Place a buffer zone around your interactions and limit the time together so that you don't find your feelings going where they don't have permission to go.
Find someone who is just as crazy about you as your are about them. The fact he will just be friends reveals a lot. He is not interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with you. Doesn't that say enough? At the end of the day, you want to e with someone who is madly in love with you, as you are with them. consider the "just friends" tag a signal to walk away and move forward, freeing you to pursue a relationship in which the romantic energy flows both ways. You deserve that, wait for it.
19 is a wonderful age. You are young, beautiful and have so many exciting adventures in store for you. Love yourself by investing in yourself (friends, hobbies, education), and putting yourself in situations where you are treated with the love you deserve.
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Thank you so much for clicking on my question. I appreciate your willingness to help me sort through this difficult issue. I'm a 27 year old female. My family is basically like a cult. While I love them and care for them, I understand that I need to break free because it's not a healthy environment. I could go on and on and provide story after story. But, to make several long stories short, they have isolated me to a point that is unhealthy. At this point in my life, I have one friend, and now they've prohibited her from coming into the house because my grandmother had an "intuition." I live in my mom's efficiency. I don't pay rent, but I pay the mortgage of the house and all of the utilities. So, basically, my mom doesn't pay any bills. Her aunt pays her car. I think the only thing she pays for is her phone, which is like $50 a month. Unfortunately, I live in Miami. If you aren't aware, Miami has the biggest gap in the country between cost of living and salary. I'm a teacher and my salary is $41,000 a year. After taxes, it's about $2,000 a month. I have two other jobs: teaching english online and driving for uber. The cheapest apartment rentals are $1200 a month. I have tried looking for a roomate, but i'm really not interested in rooming with young college students who party/drink, etc. I know everyone is not like this. I KNOW. But, unfortunately, my options are limited because of where I live. This is a big city a party place. People come here to party and it's hard to find a roomate my age, as most people I know are married.
I have decided to move. I can't live here anymore because it's effecting my health. If my home-life and family-life was healthier, I would be able to stay with them, living in the efficiency, saving money, and then buying a house. But, the reality is, that I can't. I have gotten to the point where I've considered that living is not worth it. When I leave and go on vacations, I feel like a huge weight is lifted off my chest. I feel more confident about my choices. I'm happier. I don't feel like the impending cloud of doom is looking over me. I really want to move to Los Angeles. I already have people there that I know and won't feel totally alone... but I can start anew.
The issue is that because I don't have an address in LA, it is really difficult to get a job there. When I apply online, it always asks me for an address. I do have a friend who moved there and then looked for work. But, unfortunately, I can't take that chance because I have no financial help. My parents aren't exactly responsible with money and I know my mom will do everything in power for me to fail living there because they want me in the house where they can see me all the time. My mom has no life of her own. After she divorced my dad, she never dated, made friends, etc. So, she sees me as everything. Yes, it's sad. But, all my life that responsibility has been placed on me. As a child, I was the parent and I'm tired. I just want to live my life as an adult without the added pressure of raising another adult.
So, my question is.. how can I make this work? Any tips on how to get a job there before actually moving? Any successes with relocating for jobs? (link)
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I am sorry to hear about your situation. That sounds really tough. I know what it's like to have a dependent mother. I have a lot of sympathy for what you are going through.
It's extremely courageous of you to try to move out. That is awesome and I agree it will help you. Although my situation wasn't as extreme as yours, I also had to get away from my mother by moving away. It was one of the best decisions I ever made for my mental and physical well-being.
Is there any chance you could stay at your friends place in LA for just 3 months while you job search?
Or if you are part of a religious community, it's a good idea to reach out to local religious communities and find roommates there. They tend to not be party people and have strong networks. I am a Christian and I know that a lot of pastors would try to help you in your situation, even if you are not a Christian.
Is there any chance you'd consider another cheaper city in California, around LA or Sacramento? I'm in Sacramento and could direct you to possible places to find roommates and jobs in the area, even though we are strangers. Feel free reply with some kind of contact email if you are interested.
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My first year of university is almost over and I'd have to say I didn't even have what you can say a college experience, I didn't get to live on campus (which I regret not doing), I only went to three out of the ten freshmen orientation days so all the friends I've made on there forgot who I am (I know this because I've added them on Facebook and to this day none of them accepted by their profile pics always change). I don't get to stay on campus past 6:30 cause my parents say it's not safe, my school is known as the rape school but it's my mom that forced me to go there cause it's close to home. Anyways during my first year if you've seen my previous questions I've been complaining about not having any friends and I've learned to accept it. But I just wish I had some sort of the college experience, I feel like such a prune, in high school I didn't drink at all or partied (legal drinking age here is 19 and in the province beside mine it's 18) , I'm 18 still haven't had my first kiss and I believe that as you get older in university it gets more embarrassing to admit this. I don't have any guy friends at all because I'm super awkward around guys. Do you have any tips on getting the college experience? I'm supposed to be experiementing and trying new things while still trying to get an education. I think it's my hormones talking but I want to hook up with boys or be in a relationship, have a good group have friends i thought my life would've been better in college but my life is still sheltered and boring and my mom doesn't give me any freedom and because of her I'm also scared to stay on campus at night now, if you see this please give me tips and thank you (link)
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Honey,
I've been in a very similar situation to you, with loneliness in college and a terribly controlling mother. My mom moved into my apartment for 3 years of college because she was unemployed and tried to control my life the whole time.
My first suggestion for you is to try your best to get out of living at home. February- March is the perfect time of the year to start looking at your schools facebook pages or craiglist listings. Look for all girls houses with girls who are from a similar background to you and have similar interests. Look for adverts where the people who wrote them sound kind and friendly. Try to get a single room. Visit the people and houses before you go and go with your gut instinct if it will be a good fit. I know this can be scary but I made this leap of faith and ended up living with some really great people. I visited 6 houses and talked to about 40 people on facebook before I found the right fit for me. If you can afford it, moving into a studio apartment could be an option. If your school provides dorms for second years, look into those.
I'd also recommend getting really involved with clubs or activities. During my freshman year, I started going to group exercise classes at my university gym. FYI I never did team sports and was probably the least athletic girl in my entire highschool. I tried Zumba and was terrible but enjoyed it. This led me to try ballroom dancing classes. I'm also super awkward around guys but I made my first ever guy friends through the ballroom dancing class. I liked it so much I started a university dance club with my friends from the class. This was a great way to meet more people and make more friends.
Any type of exercise is great for anyone.It's also a great social acitivity and way to make friends. I'd recommend getting into some kind of sport even if you never have before. Taking group exercise classes at the gym led me to try powerlifiting. Weight training strengthens the mind as well as the body. In other words, it makes you feel happy, confident in loving yourself, and also makes you look really slim and hot. You can do it by yourself to start off with. So I'd recommend looking into that. Start with a personal trainer if you need help and can afford 1-2 sessions. Look at bodybuilding.com for tips and youtube gurus like blogilates for general exercise tips. This is the best advice I can give you for getting rid of sexual frustration and preparing for future relationships with guys. Oh btw, I had my first kiss at 21 so you're definitely not the latest. The guy I kissed actually liked the fact I hadn't kissed anyone before and tried to make it really special.
I also decided to run a 5K as a personal challenge. All you need is a pair of running shoes and a nike couch to 5K program that you can find online. Train at your gym or local areas that are safe. It's great because it's equally fun to run by yourself or with other people.
If these things don't interest you, think about things that have in the past or things you want to try. Maybe joining clubs that are about art, music, community service, anime, horse-riding, movies, relgion,political protests, volunteering at a local hospital, singing, acapella, marching band ... the list goes on and on. I joined a church because I'm religious and the people there are super friendly. I made some friends there. If your school is a party school, I'd advise you to be very careful about checking out the party scene. Avoid sororities and fraternities and only go to parties once you've made some friends you trust and can go with a wingwoman.
I've been where you've been and I know how frustrating and depressing it can be. I'd say think about the person you want to be become, and how you can get there. Use the internet to find blogs and books that will give you good quality advice. It's up to you to take the reins, grit your teeth and take leaps of faith forward. I wish I could talk to you in real life to ask questions and share my experience more. Good luck- I know you can do it :)
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hi.i used to go to the gym 4/7 and do two hour workouts and was really dedicated but with summer i travelled and missed a lot and then i started school and had a lot of things on my mind and i got lazy and i havent been to the gym since August :/ i feel awful,like the biggest loser and i am really embarassed to go back there and show my face to my trainor,but i want to go back there,i know its stupid but im scared,i feel embarassed,what should i do? please give me an advice..thank you. (link)
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Hey, I just started to go to the gym after 3 years of being a couch potato (I was also ill and in hospital so that didn't help). I think running is a great activity to start off, and I'd definitely recommend this program I started, called The Couch to 5k Running Plan. It's free and easy, just takes commitment and consistency. Here's a link:
http://www.coolrunning.com/engine/2/2_3/181.shtml
It's really okay, we all have ups and downs in our lives. The main thing is that you want to start training again and that's what matters. Don't let fear hold you back from reaching your full potential! (I've been there) Best of luck :)
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So ive been a good student for all my life pretty much with the exceptions of a few Cs, but last yr i effed up and got a lot of cs and a D. Im gonna be a junior next year and i was wondering, if i work really hard the next few years could i get into pharmacy school? I havent been in any extracurricular activities cause for one i have anxiety about that and two, i didnt have a ride..but maybe i could start doing things or because a pharmatech or something when i turn 18 but do you think this is possible for me? And what do i have to expect I'm pharmacy school? What should i start studying? Any school councellors, pharmacists or students or anyone who knows anything about this please help me! Thank you!! (link)
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Hi! First of all, which country are you in? I'm going to answer your question for both the United States and the United Kingdom cause I'm having a hard time guessing. If you're not from either, please still read my answer because I have some tips that may still help you.
To begin with, you might want to ask yourself why you got C's and D's. For example, was it because you had unusually bad family circumstances that year, or was it because you were procrastinating all the time and undisciplined? I personally experienced both when I was a sophomore in high school, along with bad anxiety/depression. When I got my terrible grades, I asked myself what was wrong. I got counselling and anxiety meds for my depression from the NHS. THe meds didn't work but the counselling did, and I began to ask myself if I was willing to completely change the next year and work my butt off. I decided it would be worth it, and the next year I was brutally disciplined. I spent 2 hours studying by myself for every hour of lesson time. I kept up with the material and asked my teachers for extra help when I needed it- they usually had lunchtime help sessions anyways. I exercised a lot to keep my mood up (zumba dvds and classes are fun!) and joined a great church, where I made some encouraging friends. I volunteered at my local Oxfam charity shop, and learned how to use a cash register and greet customers without feeling anxious. I worked at a fast food shop over the summer to get money and experience. Dealing with a mixture of awesome people, ex-criminals and also shop-lifters motivated me to go to university even more. My family bought an adorable puppy and she became my best friend. I managed to get straight A's in my science exams as a junior and senior in high school.
If you're willing to give yourself a chance by working as hard as possible and start reaching out to people, you can definitely make it to pharmacy school. Pharmacy school is hard but rewarding.
If you're in the UK, I really recommend looking at the entry requirements for the Uni's you want to go too. I personally recommend taking 2 preferably 3 science A-levels. So do Biology, Chemistry and Math or Physics or Psychology A-levels. If you don't like these subjects, you should consider other great career options. If you fail your A-levels or want to take different subjects, you could take an Access to Science Course at your local community college after secondary school. That will give you a second shot at pharmacy school. Really. I know someone who got into Pharmacy school at the University of Reading that way. She got the highest grades in her first year and got some kind of dean's scholarship.
If you're in the USA, you don't have to worry about what subjects you do. Just do well in whatever subjects you're taking and really try to start extracurriculars. If you're an introvert, I really recommend reading Dale Carnegie's How to Make Friends and Influence People and Susan Cain's Quiet for tips on how to self help for social anxiety, if that is one of your issues.
For general ideas on becoming a good student, no matter what country you're in, I really recommend Isa Adney's Community College Success. She teaches you how to network with other people and find opportunities when you don't have any previous connections in any given career field. Incidentally, if you're considering US Community College, her book should be your bible. (Look them up on Amazon to see if they're you're thing). Do well in your SAT's and read a lot of books. Find a good university that fits your budget and personality (I recommend the Fiske Guide to start your search, and your high school counsellor). Focus on a good science bachelor's. You can't do pharmacy school until you hit graduate school anyway in the US.
If you're considering being a pharmacist or pharmacy technician, I think you should try to get work experience at a retail pharmacy or hospital pharmacy. It's never to early to start! Make sure you can explain to them why you want work experience. Google volunteer programs at your local hospital pharmacy. I personally went to about 40 local and chain retail pharmacies and asked the head pharmacist for work experience. Only one of them said yes. He was really kind and I got 1 month of pharmacy work experience filing prescriptions, using the cash register and finally dispensing prescriptions. If anyone in your school/ family/ your friends know someone who is a pharmacist/ pharmacy tech, ask them for help.
I hope some of this information was useful. Good luck! Believe in yourself :) you're awesome.
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During the school year, I started drifting away from my best friends. My main one (who I've known since I was 2) didn't have any classes with me and started becoming really close with my other best friend (who I had one class with). I thought it was ok because my other best friend and I were really close. Then it started seeming like they were the inseparable 3. The two that I normally sat with at lunch stopped showing up, so I started sitting with my 7th grade friends (I was in 8th grade). Despite all the fun I was having with them, I was still disappointed that my best friends didn't care enough to even try sitting with me. Eventually, this one girl was able to convince them to come sit with her (even though my best friend said that she didn't like her that much). My best friend started hanging out with other people and would barely acknowledge me when I was right beside her. It hurt, but it wasn't as bad when I was with my 7th grade friends. Then, I started hearing things about how people felt bad for me that nobody would talk to me except the 7th graders. Unfortunately, now I realize the matter. I'm about to be a freshman and I have no best friends in my grade. I would try to mend things with my best friends, but one of them is going to boarding school, the other I'm not as close with, and the other turned out to be a user, a crappy friend, and not a good overall person. What should I do? (link)
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Your exfriends are horrible! High school is such a difficult place- possibly one of the hardest you will ever encounter. It doesn't sound like your friends are worth keeping. You could still be friendly but I wouldn't trust them very much.
Why don't you join a few in school/ out of school clubs to see if you could meet anyone with similar interests? Like a sports, art or music group. Maybe go to church or volunteer somewhere. Go to a fun summer camp where you can meet new people. I know there's a taboo with counsellors but I saw one and she was really helpful with my social problems. Also you could read "Queen bees and wannabes" by Rosalind wiseman. It's a really good book I'd recommend for every tween-teen girl and will probably have more helpful advice than any here.
If it's an option for you, you could even consider switching schools. I went to a school with only 100 girls in my grade and it was really isolating- my co-ed school with 400 people per grade was way better.
Now that you're about to be a freshman, I would seriously recommend thinking about university applications. I know it's reasonably far off but once you get there everything will depend on your high school achievements. Pursue your interests and studies and think about the sort of person you want to become. It really will matter and it's exciting! After these 4 years are over you will be leaving everyone behind and probably never see them again.
Hope things get better for you soon! xxx
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what does im mean (link)
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instant messaging. like msn. here:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Instant_messaging
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i want 2 know how to make home made peanut butter cookies (link)
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Cynanmachae's recipe looks yummy. Allrecipes.com also has a few good ones- it's good because all the ratings let you know exactly what you're getting in to. Why don't you check out this:
http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Peanut-Butter-Cookies-IV/Detail.aspx
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My friend (i'm just gonna call him "Stuart") found out that I liked him. He then comes up to me after school, saying that he found out, and that he and this girl went to our school dance and like each other soooooo much and that they were going to go out again that week (which I believe he only likes her because she was the only one that showed open interest in him). After that, he didn't talk to me. Then, a few days later, the first words that come out of his words to my face are that they had a great time at the movie theatre, and that the following week they were going to enjoy some "other" activities at the movies (again). Then today he comes up to me, bragging about their first kiss last night. What the hell is his problem? Does he have a large stick up his ass, or something?? He only started acting this way since his girlfriend told him about my feelings for him. (link)
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I'd drop this guy. He sounds like a) an insensitive a-hole or b) mentally retarded. You deserve better. Focus on having fun with your other friends and getting your grades. Once you get into a good college, you're bound meet more good-looking, serious guys.
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I'm 14 and a chick.
My friends expect me to be some hard core rock metal fan because I have blue hair and combat boots. Truth is, I'm a die hard Simon & Garfunkel fan, lol. I like old people music. Is this normal? (link)
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Yes it is! It makes you a more interesting person too- love Simon and Garfunkel- they're awesome! :D
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17/f
I'm turning 18 in two weeks, I'm partially excited.. But yet, I'm really depressed about it. I get more and more sad when the day gets closer. I'm already stressed out about school, because I can't help but think about when each of my assignments are due. It makes me realize what day it is, and I just think. "This many days till my birthday, and my parents divorce." Why are they divorcing? Money problem. When I'm 18, I'm no longer getting government money. My dad is retired, and he's turning 73 a week before I am. And it gets me really sad whenever I see him try to win the lottery, and hearing from my sister that my dad says my mom doesn't want him anymore because he can't support us financially. And it gets me really upset, because I won't be able to see him anymore. He's leaving, so it hurts whenever I see him try to do whatever he can now. I see him, clean, cook, garden, fix my car, before he's not here anymore. He's going to be moving in with his little sister to watch over his mom since she currently went blind.
I'm happy he gets to take care of her, but yet; he's going to be in another city. Which makes me sad. I keep wanting him to stay, but I don't want my parents to argue. My mom wants to stick around me and my older sister to take care of us when we're already growing up. I mean, my sister's turning 23 this year and she already moved out. My mom still wants to watch over us.
I know, I can't stop time. I wish I could. I'm trying my best to think positive about this whole situation, and keep thinking and hoping that he won't leave on my birthday or even discuss divorce on my birthday. Because, my birthdays have never went well.. Ever. There wasn't a day where I didn't cry or get frustrated, a day that it always rained. My parents wouldn't understand if I even spoke to them about it.
They don't consider mine or my sister's opinions, because they say it's their decision. Maybe one day I can go visit my dad & his mom now and then? But I would really miss him living in the same house.. Especially since my mom would be working even harder to even keep up with the financial problems. Help! How do I even think positive or even feel a little bit better on my birthday? (link)
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Sweetie~ I am so sorry that really sucks so much I can't express it. I would like to say something super helpful but I'm not really sure what that would be~ sorry. But I can talk a bit about my own experience.
Parents and their baggage are so burdensome! The problem with any family is that it's like an organism, so when one person (or two people) make mistakes, everyone has to go through it too. I mean, my parents divorced when I was 16. Their divorce was awfully acrimonious and me and my brother (3 years older) were caught in between the whole time.
It's never right when parents separate (even in the case of a 'friendly' divorce).We (their kids) are the ones who are right, it's our right to wish for a loving, whole family. They may both have issues in their relationship and think they're justified- just know that you're not the one who's wrong. We may have to live with their wrong decisions but we can at least hope for better things for ourselves and make better decisions for our own families.
Visiting your dad would be great. Maybe you could visit them during holidays? If your mom has a problem with that, you could wait a year until you're in college and then make arrangements then. How about things like skype? Maybe those things will help. When you're older and independent it will be easier to keep up a relationship with both of them as much as you want.
I totally get the thing about your birthday. So many of mine have gone disastrously wrong- and I don't have many friends (long story- basically most of them are in a different continent) so it's really depressing. I feel like my birthday is jinxed!
Do you have a best friend or close relative you could talk to? Maybe you could spend some time with them on your birthday. Treat yourself well and do something special for yourself. Maybe you could watch a movie, go to a spa, go to a local fashion or art gallery exhibit- above all remember that you deserve the best even though the world is a crazy place! You're 18 and there are way better things to look forward to. Good luck and lots of love~
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helo
i need help applying to colleges overseas but i dont have a clue to start i am currently in grade 11 and live in s.a. also not a very expensive place
plz help (link)
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Hi
Since I don't know anything about you I'll just throw out a few ideas which you might find useful.
By s.a. I guess you mean south africa?
To apply to school in the usa, the main things you have to start thinking about are taking the SAT reasoning test, SAT subject tests, developing your extracurricular activities and writing essays. US colleges are really expensive for internationals. But private universities with huge endowments (aka ivy league, elite liberal arts colleges, duke etc) can offer really great scholarships. On the flip side community colleges can be cheap if you have connections.
You could also consider scotland which is great for international students. A lot of people apply to places like St Andrews and the University of Aberdeen.
England's ok too. Places like the University of Reading or the University of Warwick are decent with scholarships. London schools are really expensive (by English standards) so be careful with those.
If you're considering the usa, uk or canada I would recommend buying the Fiske Guide on amazon.com or any bookshop. It's comprehensive and reliable and will give you a lot more info than I could. good luck~
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Well i am 17 and i got my period when i was 14. My boobs haven't grown at all since then. I am a 32A (and thats still a little too big for me). I feel comfortable with my personality and body, except for the boobs. And i already talked to my mom about getting them "filled up" more. I was just wondering if you knew the disadvantages to that? And what problems could it cause? thanksss. (link)
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Breast implants have a lot of bad effects. The few I know about are development of scar tissue (which is painful), risk of infection, risk of rupture (random or by an accident- this means toxic liquid leaks into your body cavities) and a big one is the fact you will never be able to breastfeed any kids. Implants really aren't worth the risk- you could really regret them when you're older.
You've still got time for your boobs to grow! I'd give it some time- I know that sounds awful but I'm 18 and a an AA (not even an A!) but every female in my family is a C so maybe it's just slow development.
Being an A you can still look amazing- look at people like Keira knightley. I mean she has a gorgeous figure and her boobs suit her. Lots of beautiful athletes and gymnasts are A's too.
hope I helped xx
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So i am 17 and i have NEVER actually baked something by myself. When i have to i cook with friends and family, but only really basic stuff like: a cake, cookies, pancakes, etc... But i am really not the talented girl in the kitchen.
Any of you know any good cook books for teens? Any fun tips? Sites? ANYTHING helps, thanks(: (link)
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I'm in exactly the same position and have been trying to find resources.
allrecipes.com is one place that's worked well for me. There's a wide range of things. I'd advise going for the really popular basic recipes (for example one of my favourites is Roast Sticky Chicken-Rotisserie Style) and following any highly voted tips. There are some great baking recipes on there too especially for muffins and cakes.
youtube can be helpful for demonstrations on how to cut onions and basic things.
You might want to check out Julia Child or Fanny Farmer books if they're your sort of thing.
Also if anyone in your family is good at cooking, follow them around the kitchen with a notepad and pester them for recipes as they cook things so you can cook them by yourself later.
Hope that helped a bit and good luck!
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