He could just be a flirt, or thinks he is safe to flirt with you, because you are just a friend. However, he may be like most guys and find 88% of the female race attractive enough to see if he can score. Good luck getting out of this one. I'd ignore it and find one of the other millions of guys out there that is not going to break your friend's heart and friendship.

We can't have it both ways my dear. You need to decide if your life would be better with or without him in it. Do you like the idea of new possibilites in partners or do you want to make a commitment to this guy? Every break up rips apart all that you have built together, and it is hard no matter what, but it may be better to get it over with now, rather than five years from now. The funny thing is that unless you really are growing apart and changing, both of you will probably end up with similar partners and wind up in the same boat. You need clarity; and a break before an actual break-up, might do the trick! Go on a little vacation solo or stay with a girlfriend for a week. Do you miss him or are you enjoying the fresh air? Time and Distance will reveal all.

I won't lecture you, but any chemical metabolism boosters are temporary and potentially dangerous. There are natural foods that boost metabolism and lifting weights will burn calories like nothing else! Eat plenty of protein and avoid anything processed. Also keep hydrated to burn calories at the best rate possible.

Infatuations are like a cup of coffee. Strong and energizing at first, but quick to go cold or burn you out. You are enjoying the flattery of another woman thinking you are attractive. Everyone enjoys an ego-boost, just don't let yourself become an idiot over it. The thing to remember is that crushes/infatuations are powerful because they are not real! Just like when you first became attracted to your wife...everything is wonderful at first, because it is not real. Also, I can tell you with certainty that whether or NOT you screw up and do something about the mutual crush, it will burn out on its own. When it does, you will either have caused a lot of pain, or you will be thankful you did not give into temptation. While you are checking out this other woman, who is staring at your wife? Be careful, and don't do something you can't undo.

Wow, fun class, eh? Sounds like she needs to be in charge to feel good about herself. She is probably overcompensating for insecurity in another area. Anyway, we can't change people, only ourselves, so my advice is just for you. First and foremost, do not take her comments personally. This is a super tough one, but start now and you will be a much healthier adult. The things people say actually reflect more about the way they feel about themselves, than the person they are talking to. She is on her own journey and needs to learn that she is getting in her own way! Discontinue telling her what to do, even if she is being bossy. Here is a little secret...ready? People are mimics. If you start being very professional, respectful, and polite everytime you talk to her in class, then she will start to do the same to you. I am not saying to be a door mat or not to do your best and stand up for yourself. Just do it without any harshness. Ignore her remarks and just shake your head to yourself. When you do something great and she does not give you credit, it is because she is insecure. Don't take it....PERSONALLY! Just be happy for yourself and run with your great idea!

One, the degree thing does not matter. As long as he is a responsible person and can keep a good job, it should be fine. Two, you already know he likes you, but that he has put off asking you. Why? Maybe he is too shy, or thinks you are not interested in him for more than friends, or he is too preoccupied with his kid and ex. to start having a social life. I have no idea about the sex thing. Three, you should tell him that you want to continue to see him after you leave, so the two of you should exchange phone numbers and make a date for lunch. Keep it casual and do not push him. He just went through a bad break-up and now is living as a single dad. Be careful not to get too set on him, until you know for sure he is over the ex and ready to move on with you.

Guys like to DO stuff. What does he do? Suggest getting something that supports his hobbies and personal interests. It does not have to be traditional or romantic. The gift will always mean more if it says someone really paid attention to what the receiver's personality and interests are. Another fun idea is to get a gift that is something they can share as a couple, like tickets/gift certificate to a fun place, concert, amusement park, restaurant, movies etc.

Christmas is a ways off! So, you have only gone out for a few months. Yes, it is too eary to make that kind of commitment. I don't know if you are very young, but it is difficult to even know yourself until you are in your late twenties, let alone make a decision to marry someone else whom you don't really know. Experience and knowledge only come with time, which reveals more than you could imagine now. Plan to know yourself and your potential mate for a few years before jeopardizing your future.

Distance and young love do not mix! Break up with him and don't feel guilty. Be gentle, but know that he will take it personally no matter what. You both owe it to yourselves to be able to date freely at this time anyway and not miss out on the rest of highschool fun, by being stuck in a long-distance romance that is not going anywhere. It might be different if you were adults and could work something out. You could tell him that you want both of you to be free to see other people, but want to keep in touch as friends, until you can be together possibly in a couple of years.

Actually, I don't know if you could have put an end to it by correcting people earlier. People would still believe what they wanted to, and might have seen you as guilty for being defensive. Continue to ignore her, unless she is really harassing you in other ways, in which case you need to report her to your campus administration. She could be psychotic. Your friends are correct about not giving her any more reason to bug you. The silly thing is that the gossip besides being a little embarrassing, is really not that harmful. Every guy on campus and quite a few girls have probably masterbated in a school bathroom or wherever they could at the time! It is nothing abnormal or weird even if it was true, so let people believe it if they want to. You could say to someone that you hear talking about it something like this: "I think it is hilarious that this girl that invented the rumor thinks the worst thing in the world would be for a girl to masterbate! How uptight! Or maybe she is just turned on by the image of me...ewww, I hope she doesn't stalk me, ha-ha!" ;)

I hope he has called you back by now. You were together three whole years, that is good. Hopefully, you are the only one he has been sleeping with, or you could have more than pregnancy to worry about. There is always reason to be concerned when having unprotected sex. Make sure to get yourself to a doctor/clinic for regular check-ups now that you are sexually active, and get some condoms right away. You can usually get them for free at Planned Parenthood. Please do not make this mistake again, for your own sake. Demand protection and keep it on hand.

Ask your teacher if there are any financial aide programs available or money raising ideas he may have. Maybe a few of you wanting to earn money for the trip can wash cars, do housework, or other odd jobs for the teachers, administration, other parents. The school may even hire you to paint or some other project that could help. What do the people in your neighborhood buy? Candy bars, raffle tickets (don't forget to get a legitamate prize with the money or you will be busted), gardening services, dog-walking, it just depends. Don't give up, girl!

You could put out orange rubber cones on your property to verify the boundary in a non-confrontational way the night before collection. If they ask, just tell them it is a reminder for cars not to block the way for the garbage trucks, because the trucks are having trouble lately getting close enough. Hope it works!

He sounds like a creep. You should ignore him from now on and consider telling your friend if you think she would believe you, but be warned that she may just turn on you and believe him when he calls you a liar. That happens all the time. Do not be flattered by his offer to cheat on her with you if you were both drunk. What is that really saying? He is saying that you are not worth breaking up with the other girl and going out with in the appropriate and respectful way. He is saying that he would use you for sex, cheat on a girl that is supposed to be your friend, and wants to use alcohol as an excuse to get out of the blame. This is not someone that would make a good boyfriend for anyone. If you go out with him, it will only be weeks before you are cheated on, too.

That is a lot! Well, I would not give up your dreams of a career, friends and meeting some decent men, but tackle one thing at a time. First, focus on yourself and your main goal. Talk to a college and career counselor about getting grad school back into the picture if that is important to you and your future career.
Second, thank the stars that highschool etc. is not forever! People change a lot, and by the time you make your first reunion you will be pleasantly surprised to see who the winners turned out to be-yourself included! The best way to meet people with similar interests as you, is the same as buying good Real Estate...location, location, location! Don't wait to take a friend to the next event that interests you. Go alone and mingle! The men and women there already want to be there and you will start off having that in common! Also, be open to friendships with people who are not your ideal friends. You may meet some terrific gals and guys (potential dates) through an older person. Keep an open mind and start conversing with people by showing the world that you are someone they would love to get to know. Are you happy or miserable? What vibe are you putting off? If you put off a positive vibe and smile, people will be more open to you.
Third, make sure that you are not seeking out guys that are looking for sex only. I don't know why you broke of your engagement, but if it was because of a fear to commit, this could be why you are dating losers. We pick the people in our life, and our patterns become more apparent when we open our eyes to our own hidden motives. A lot of guys would like to score on the first date, but that does not mean you have to dump them right away. If when you tell them you don't have casual sex, but would love to continue to hang out or date more, most of them split then no loss. However, you eventually get one of them thinking that you are worth waiting for if you let him know you like him, but respect yourself, too.
Younger guys don't usually look to settle into a monogamous relationship, so don't take it personally. You may find yourself happier dating a bit older guys who are sick of the dating frenzy, at least until you find Mr. Right. Make sure you don't settle for a loser, though, since we want you available when a cool guy does come along. Sometimes we miss the good guy, because we women are too busy crying over the jerks! Been there, done that! You sound very bright and ready to take control of your life, so good luck my dear!

Enjoy it! You don't have to do anything, but if you are not enjoying it or it gets to be too much then let him know. Either way, a guy loves to hear what he is doing that you like. Men feed on approval.

Updated***
The pregnancy thing is just general information for anyone who might have the same problem with their cat (obviously female), and is reading this. Sorry for confusion. Best of luck:)


-----------------------------------------------If your cat is not pregnant, or in heat, maybe he is just bored. Personality is so unique in cats that if it is not a hormonal thing, you could just have a cat that needs new toys or is bored.

Are you living in a house your parents own and pay the bills for? If the answer is yes, then you have no right to expect them to change their lifestyle to accomodate you. You can try having a fan or other white noise in your room to drown out the noise or you can change your sleeping habits and sleep when they do.

Your body and sexuality is your business, and you do not owe it to her to tell her everything. However, if it is an important part of your relationship to continue to be open and you think she would be supportive then tell her. If you think (because you know and I don't) that she will only give you grief for it and guilt etc. then don't tell her. You may want to start by asking her at what age and how long exactly would you have to be with a guy in order to get her blessing...she may have difficulty answering! A lot of parents wish their kids were married first to avoid heartbreak and problems that can come from sexual activity. Hopefully you are using condoms everytime to help prevent disease/pregnancy. Your mom may not approve of your "adult" decisions in various areas of your life, and if you were over 18yrs. old and on your own I would tell you to keep your private business to yourself. Technically you are still a child and in mom's care and responsibility, so if she finds out that you are having sex, don't be surprised if she feels like it is her business.

What does sex based really mean? Does it mean that the main or only reason two people are together is for the sex? A definate way to find out whether or not your relationship meets that definition would be to stop having sex. This requires a decision of at least one of you, and we both know it won't be him! If it is important to you to know that you two have a real future together and are not just fooling around, I would consider abstaining. For how long is up to you, and only you will be able to know in your heart what the relationship means to you. The difficulty is in stopping something that is so much fun! However, it is a great test to find out how serious you both are, and if both of you can develop self-control, and remain honest and faithful. You do want to know these things for certain before becoming engaged to anyone. Be very upfront with him beforehand and discuss it and all your feelings about sex, the future and the relationship. If you cannot have this discussion or he is not willing to listen or try this for you, then maybe he is not who you thought.
Sexuality is a big and enjoyable part of being human. Sex can be an indicator of what is going on outside the bedroom. Lots of sex could mean you are both a healthy loving couple in other aspects of the relationship, and you bring that enthusiasm into the bedroom. Unfortunately, it could also mean that you lack anything else to do together that would be as enjoyable. I hope for you both that it is the former and not the latter, but the most important thing is for both of you to know for yourselves.

"Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person they are almost indistinguishable. To say something you value deeply to another and to have him or her value it equally by listening to it carefully and apppreciatively is the most universal way of exchanging social interest or demonstrating affection." David Augsburger, CARING ENOUGH TO HEAR AND BE HEARD.


All sincere persons will be given thoughtful examination and reply. Please be specific about your situation as it applies to your question, the applicable information and facts necessary for me to properly assess your situation and give you the benefit of my knowledge and experience, which includes: experience/education with mentoring, relationship study, self help, spirituality, poetry, literature, philosophy, psychology, color theory, teaching, parenting, and debate that will be used to your advantage. I am concerned with offering an objective and realistic perspective more than ratings, because this will help YOU. Artificial sweetness is found in diet soda, not in my advice. If you feel that I did not understand your question or need more specifics to help, please let me know, but while all truth is subjective, questioners should be mature enough to hear answers not necessarily agreed with. If you are only looking for someone to tell you just what you want to hear, then you may not be ready for my advice. I believe in personal responsibility, self and other awareness and your power and ability to recreate and redirect your own life. All our misery and joy begins and ends within ourselves, but our willingness to be open can bring the positive or negative energy we seek. If you or someone you know is open to positive help, the resources and caring individuals needed are available now.

http://www.coolnurse.com/

http://www.4woman.gov/violence/

http://www.childhelpusa.org/about/programs-and-services/childhelp-national-child-abuse-hotline-1-800-4-a-child

drug/alcohol abuse help go here: http://www.4drugabuse.com/addiction-treatment.html

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/1800-273-TALK(8255)
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention service available to anyone in suicidal crisis. If you need help, please dial 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You will be routed to the closest possible crisis center in your area. With over 120 crisis centers across the country, our mission is to provide immediate assistance to anyone seeking mental health services. Call for yourself, or someone you care about. Your call is free and confidential. -----------------------------------

http://www.kidscrisis.com/

http://www.teenadviceonline.org/gethelp/numbers.html

You can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline, operated by RAINN, 24 hours a day, free & confidential. 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

For info. on birth control etc.
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/

The Girls and Boys Town National Hotline is the only hotline that children and parents can call with any problem at any time:
Open 24-hours a day, every day at 1-800-448-3000

Spanish-speaking counselors available; translation services for 100+ languages

TTY line available for the hearing-impaired at 1-800-448-1833

Counselors can help find services and agencies in the callers' local community

Help at the End of the Line
Callers talk to highly-trained, professional counselors who listen and give "right now" answers. They're sympathetic people who have expertise dealing with these and other problems:

depression

suicide

running away

parenting problems

relationship concerns

physical, sexual, and emotional abuse

chemical dependency

mental health

anger

aggressive behavior

Toll Free
Operated by Father Flanagan's Boys' Home, hotline services are free of charge to every parent and child in all 50 states, the District of Columbia, U.S. territories, and Canada.

Toll-Free: 1-800-448-3000

http://www.sex-ed101.org/links.html

http://www.anorexicweb.com/anorexicweb.html

Report Child Abuse
Childhelp USA National Child Abuse Hotline
1-800-4-A-CHILD TDD: 1-800-2-A-CHILD



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All our motivations stem from two: Love or Fear. When in turmoil or indecision, ask yourself from which of these you are acting. If you want an honest response outside of yourself, you need to first be honest within yourself. Bless you on your journey!

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