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AHHH.
okay this is going to be freaking huge haha.
well, i'm in a class that does video announcements from school. and my best friend is in that class, which is a great awesome thing. anyway, her and i, and another girl are in the same group. so my friend has this thing, where (to me) it seems like she acts like she knows everything about anything. and when i give an opinion about stuff, its either shot down or she gives me a reason why it won't work, or why we can't do it. i understand that. but its the way she says it, like im stupid or something. so sometimes i just kinda sit there..i don't look mad or sad or happy or anything, its just a blah kind of state. she tells me to do stuff and then i'll try and do it and she ends up taking over because she doesn't have the patience. and then i feel bad because she makes it seem like its so bad that i don't do everything exactly right or exactly the way she wants me to. and today, she made a big deal about how she was the only person who edited our last piece like if we made her do all the work. which isn't true, she hardly ever gave us the chance to do anything. all we really did was give an opinion on something, and i researched the information. and also, if i do say something she'll say "don't get all mad"..which is so annoying because i'm not mad!!! i just wanna figure out how to do stuff without her breathing down my back and telling me what to do. im not trying to be a control freak or anything, but i do want a say in some of the stuff we do. and then when i do give a good idea, she doesn't say oh good idea or tell me anything nice, she just acts like its a big pain to her. i don't get it. but i love that girl to death, outside of class its so much different we have so much fun all the time no matter what. its just inside class she acts different. and she's really disrespectful towards our teacher, which i hate. i try and show as much respect for him as possible, but when she acts rude towards him, he lectures our whole group. i've been lectured enough in my life, so i try and avoid it.
if i tryed to tell her how she's acting, or tell her to quit, she'll just turn around and start telling me stuff that i'm doing too and that she's not the only one being "mean" or whatever she wants to call it. i hate it, i don't know how to talk to her at all about this whole thing. and honestly i'm scared, because i don't like arguing with people, i don't like when they get mad or offended, and i hate the whole "shut up" look. drives me insane.
any advice on how to deal with this all would be SO appreciated.
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Wow, that's horrible. First of all, it sounds like you don't like confrontation and I feel that way a lot too. But, you have to talk to her after class (not during!) and tell her how you feel. It may be hard at first but work up the guts or this will never end! Just force yourself to say how you feel and if she doesn't understand then she has a really big problem. It sounds like this a class she thinks she's really good at and is an obsessed control freak about it which sometimes is hard to, well, control. It's also not right that you're whole group is getting yelled at for her actions but I'm sure, as long as you don't act snobby or rude back, the teacher knows who really is being rude and disrepectful. Also, how does you other friend feel about this? Does she say anything to you? If so maybe the two of you could go up to her to make you feel better and if this girl still is angry I would stay away from her no matter how much you love her to death. This is not normal. Ask the teacher to switch your group. And if your other friend doesn't go along just talk to this girl on your own no matter what. Make sure of it. Possibly (I know this option may be tough and hard), get an adult involved because this is sad, cruel, and somewhat, serious. I hope this helps and please give me feedback my friend.
Chrissie
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try talking to her when your not in video announcement class. Don't raise your voice even if she does and try to be rational. Don't yell or accuse her of anything. Just tell her that sometimes you feel hurt when she doesn't give your ideas a chance. If this doesnt work than try being really nice to her in video announcement class. If none of these ideas work, maybe you should find another friend. I know that sounds super harsh but a friend who is mean to you constantly might not be the kind of best friend. I'm not saying you can't be friends but maybe it would be best to find another friend to hang out with in video announcement.
Another idea: ask your teacher if he could move you to another grouo and not tell your friend that you asked him. You said that she is rude to your teacher, so chance is he notices her behavior. That way you can tell your friend your teacher made you change groups. That way you get to hang out with yur friend when she's nice-and not when she's not! hope i helped. <33EAS
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Wow, fun class, eh? Sounds like she needs to be in charge to feel good about herself. She is probably overcompensating for insecurity in another area. Anyway, we can't change people, only ourselves, so my advice is just for you. First and foremost, do not take her comments personally. This is a super tough one, but start now and you will be a much healthier adult. The things people say actually reflect more about the way they feel about themselves, than the person they are talking to. She is on her own journey and needs to learn that she is getting in her own way! Discontinue telling her what to do, even if she is being bossy. Here is a little secret...ready? People are mimics. If you start being very professional, respectful, and polite everytime you talk to her in class, then she will start to do the same to you. I am not saying to be a door mat or not to do your best and stand up for yourself. Just do it without any harshness. Ignore her remarks and just shake your head to yourself. When you do something great and she does not give you credit, it is because she is insecure. Don't take it....PERSONALLY! Just be happy for yourself and run with your great idea!
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