Hi Everyone!!
My name is Brenda, and I'm 34 years young. I've been happily married (to the most amazing man) for three years, and we have three children. My daughter is nine years old (my husband has adopted her), my stepdaughter is eight, and my stepson is six. I am currently a full time college student taking Business Administration specializing in Human Resource Management. I am also a volunteer with the Sexual Assault Victim Support Program with our Regional Health Authority.
My hope with this advice column is that I will be able to help people. I've been through alot in my life, and I decided that if I can help people in similar situations, then that could also help me heal, and move on. I won't go into great detail on here, but my motto has definitely become "what doesn't kill us, will only make us stronger".
I was raped when I was 16, and then continually by an abusive boyfriend when I was 19-20. He was an alcoholic and abusive sexually, physically, and emotionally. He unsuccessfully (thank God) tried to kill me.
I've been cheated on...been the cheater, I've gone through addiction, as well as losing my dad. I have clinical depression. I was a single mom for five years before I met my husband. I became extremely obese, and five years ago weighed close to 400 pounds. In January of 2000 I underwent gastric bypass surgery and have maintained a 200+ pound weight loss. I went through my childhood and adolescense being ridiculed for my appearance. I really want to help people with obesity issues.
Currently, my most stressing issues seem to be dealing with my husbands despicable ex-wife. It's hard to deal with someone whom you have absolutely no respect for as a parent, or as a person for that matter. I have many concerns about making a blended family work, so that everyone is happy.
PHEW!!!
Well....I hope I will have many visitors to my column and can help each and every one of you! Chances are..whatever it is you're going through, I've probably been there. I hope to talk to you soon.
Brenda
Website: Help Me, Brenda! E-mail: helpmebrenda@inbox.com Gender: Female Location: Manitoba, Canada Occupation: student Age: 34 Member Since: April 9, 2006 Answers: 193 Last Update: October 5, 2006 Visitors: 21107
Main Categories: General Sex Questions Mental health Families View All
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has anyone ever gotten a wax while on their period and having a tampon on.i want to get a wax this week and i just got my period 2 days ago and i want to go in 2 days and i dont kno if its possible or if professional places do it while your on your period..im just curious if anyones done that b4 (link)
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Hi
I own my own body sugaring business, which is similar to waxing only much better.
I do the brazilians, and would not do one on someone who is menstruating for a couple of reasons.
#1 - Hygiene. Let's face it...we are not exactly "fresh" down there when menstruating, and if you've ever had a brazilian done, you don't leave your underwear on, and it can be uncomfortable for both the client and the person doing the job.
#2 - Pain. Brazilians are very painful at the best of times, but when you are menstruating, the pain is doubled...hormones and such. You'll wish you waited....trust me.
#3 - Personal preference. It's just something that I don't feel comfortable with. Others may, and that's their perogitive.
Take care,
Brenda
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what are some outlets of depression? (link)
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Hi
I have to disagree with betterthanyou. Depression is a chemical imbalance in your brain. Most times this does require medication to regulate these imbalances.
I have been clinically depressed since the eighth grade. I'm 34 now. I have tried both being on and off meds, and they are defintely a neccessity in my life, and many others.
Now, I will agree that you also have to try your best to get out of the blue phaze by getting out and doing stuff and trying to live your life, but don't be ashamed if you need the aid of medication.
I think you should talk to your parent's and get them to take you to the doctor, where you can be assessed, diagnosed, and put on the best course of action...whatever that may be.
Good luck,
Brenda
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I feel kind of bad saying this but i really hate my little brother he is 10 and i am 14/f. He pisses me off soooooo much! LIke he does whatever he can to get me in trouble like if i say like one thing mean he will freak out and tell on me or try to get me off the computer. He also always sits next to me when i am on the computer and reads my e-mails while i am typing them or pretends to be me on instant messenger when i'm not there. He acts like a dork in front of my friends and alwaiz says hi to me in a stupid voice when i am with my friends. When i use the bathroom to put on makeup he gets mad and cries so i have to get out. He punches me all the time (it doesn't rly hurt) and threatends to punch me in the boobs!! That really makes me mad because that is nothing he should be getting near. He also always pretends to hagve a crush on me and that is DISCUSTING and it makes me hate him even more. What am i supposed to do?! I can honsetly say i hate him!! when i try to talk to my parents they tell me i'm over reacting and they tell him to stop AND HE DOESN'T what am i supposed to do? Please help!! I'l rate!!!!!!!! (link)
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Hi
Your annoying little brother is doing his job!! That's what brothers do. Unfortunately this isn't going to change anytime soon.
I think your best bet is to try to ignore him. He is doing all this because he's getting a rise out of you. Every time you yell or cry or tell your parent's he's thinking "yes, I'm getting to her..it's working" If you pretend he's not even there when he's acting like that, then the fun for him will be gone.
Honestly, it kinda falls under the same category as bullies. They bug you and are mean to you because you let them. If you start to take the fuel out of their fire so to speak, by ignoring them, they will move on.
Now, he is your brother so you can't get him out of your life...and down the road when you both grow up you will see that it was all part of being siblings.
Another thought, is that he does these things because he wants to be involved in your life, and doesn't know any other way to do it. What if every once in a while you did something with him...just him. Spend some brother/sister time.
Good luck, and take care.
Brenda
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OK, Im a 17 yr old female and at the beginning of the year my best friends brother asked me out (great 'cause i've liked him for ages) BUT he had broken up with his girlfriend of 1yr 9 months 2 weeks before...(which i wasn't aware of!) so we were 'seeing' each other for...a week when he decided that it was all too fast and he still loved his ex.(just for referance she broke up with him...because of 'exams' and has recently text and called him)Fair enough i respected that he stopped it,was a long relationship with his ex after all.1 thing he did say to me though is that he doesnt think he could think of me in that way.He tells my friends that too...but also that we're really close and he loves who i am.I'm not imagining this,as his sister and family can see it too...but the way he looks at me and talks to me implies something else.Everyone says there is unmistakable chemistry and his mum told me that he told her he will 'decide when its time and he's ready'.I'm all over the place as I like him as a person - we're the same, like the same things etc. but all this is confusing me so much and getting me down.I do realise that he still loves his ex,it would be impossible not to as it hasn't been long since they broke up.But the one thing I don't understant is why tell my friends and I that he thinks of me as a friend....then tell his mum and that mentioned above, and his friends are always telling me how attractive he thinks I am and always nudging him when I am in the room, they all look at me and analyse me ect...
Thanks for your time, Any relpy would help me
x (link)
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Hi
No doubt you're confused...he's sending out alot of mixed signals.
My thought is that he himself is confused. He was in a long term relationship with his girlfriend, only to have his heart broken by her.
This doesn't mean that he doesn't have feelings for you, but everything is still so fresh. It was probably a mistake to get involved with you so soon after his breakup. It probably would have been best to sort through his feelings first.
Now, with all that being said he is showing you signs that he is interested in you. He even asked you out.
So, just when he thought he was getting his life "back on track" with you, his ex contacts him again. This would naturally throw him for a loop.
He has feelings for you, but his feelings for his ex are still there.
He's telling your friends that he thinks of you as a friend, because he is unsure of how things are going to turn out. He obviously doesn't want to hurt you, and that should be respected.
He tells his family another story, because he feels comfortable and secure enough with his family to tell them how he really feels.
I think you need to step back and give him the time that he needs to resolve these issues in his head. You can tell him how you feel...that you would like to pursue a relationship with him, but not until he is completely sure and ready to move on.
Now, you also shouldn't wait around forever, just in case being with him isn't in the cards. Don't put your life on hold for too long.
If you guys are meant to be together then it WILL happen...some things just take time.
Good luck to you, and take care.
Brenda
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okay, My name is JJ 13/f. There are two boys I really like one I've gone out with and he broke up with me, because he felt like it. Or so he says. His friends and him are always mean to me but, when he's alone with me he is always nice. His sister is my best friend. The other boy is ALWAYS nice, his friends are nice also, but his friends and I have grown up together, there are only 11 kids in my class.He's found stuf out about me that Only the kids that where in K learned or they are my BFFs. He always looks and makes sure I look when he is doing something funny, and looks pleased when I smile at it and jealous if I mention Mr. Ex when he's around. Which one do you think I sould chose? (link)
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Hi
The answer my dear, is painfully obvious.
It doesn't matter how nice he is to you when you're alone with him....the fact that he is mean to you AT ALL gives off a red flag.
Why would you even consider being with someone who doesn't treat you nicely?
Life is far too short to be unhappy in a relationship....especially since you already know what it would be like.
The other guy sounds great. You can tell he's interested due to the actions you explained.
You would be MUCH happier with someone like that. Always remember...you deserve to be treated with respect, and loyalty. You deserve to be with someone who is nice to you at all times.
Someone who claims to like/love you would NEVER intentionally hurt you physically or emotionally.
You sound like a smart girl, and I think you already know what to do.
Good luck,
Brenda
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im 15/f and me and my best guy friend went to a party n both got a little drunk among other things. anyway we ended up having sex and since then i've found out im pregnant and i know its his and i told him about it. hes basically demanding i keep it but see i dont want to b/c its going to destroy my body, reputation,i know i wont be able to keep my gpa above a 4.0, and my mom will kill me. so should i just go behind his back or what?
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Hi
Getting pregnant is not an oopsy. It's a decision that you made. When you have sex, there is always that chance.
Now, I'm not against abortion, but I also feel that it should not be used as a form of birth control. Having an abortion can really mess you up physically and emotionally.
The fact is, is that you got pregnant, and now you have to deal with the consequenses. Ultimately the decision is up to you...it is your body, but if the father is truly against it, then you have to take that into consideration.
You stated that the reason you don't want to be pregnant is because it's going to destroy your body???? What's up with that??? Can we say selfish? Your reputation is something that you obviously didn't consider when you decided to have sex, and a baby is not going to stop you from having a great gpa.
Maybe it's time you grew up, and had a talk with your parent's. If they are behind the abortion, then I would talk to the father and let him know that you are going through with it, before you do. I think you will regret going behind his back.
I got pregnant before I was married too, and I have to say that my daughter is the single most important thing in my life. She is my world, and I couldn't imagine my life without her.
Don't forget to consider adoption as well.
Good luck,
Brenda
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Okay so I'm pretty thin; 5'4 and 110 lbs. I really don't like fat, at all on girls. I think girls should be thin and wear a pants size no bigger than a 3 or 5. Five is pushing it.
All my friends are thin and have nice figures as well, like me but I have a few that don't. I mean, they aren't huge but they wear like a 5 in Abercrombie pants. And those of you that shop there know that their sizes run bigger. When I see them in like a bikini (we're always at my house laying out and stuff) I want to throw up.
I don't know why I feel this way and I feel extremely bad sometimes because in my head, I want them to loose weight.
Now, I assure you that I have never said anything along those lines to them and I NEVEERR would, ever. I know I have some sort of problem with weight so I know better than so say something to them.
Does anyone have any ideas on how I can get over this?
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Hi
I'm sorry to be brutally honest here, but I think you are being VERY shallow.
Why do you care what other people look like? As long as you take care of yourself, then that's all that should matter.
Are bigger people not "good enough" to be friends with someone as perfect as you?
I used to be really heavy, and it was people like you that made my school career hell...and even out of school.
First of all...fat people don't like being fat, and if you did ANY research on obesity at all you would see that there are genetic factors that pre-dispose people to different weights.
I'm not saying that some people don't "help" their situation along by making the wrong choices, but it's not completely their fault.
There is so much more that I could say on the issue, but I don't think you really care enough to take it to heart.
People come in all different shapes, sizes, and colors. Maybe eventually your friends will realize how truly shallow you are, and then you'll be sitting there with your thin body all by yourself.
It's time to grow up!! The only way to GET OVER IT, is to realize that no one is perfect (not even you). Some people have big butts, others have small brains.
Brenda
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On weekends, and such, I go out with my mother and grandmother. I'm very close to them, and they're really cool. We relate a lot even though we're all different generations. I guess I'm a lot closer to my family than most people my age.
I look at other seventeen year olds though, and they're always out with their friends, partying and stuff. I very rarely go out with my friends, because a lot of them annoy me and I have a lot more fun with my family.
But I'm starting to think I'm the only teenager who goes out with both my mother and grandmother, and I should be going out with people my age doing more "teenagery" things, as I don't want to look back on my youth and think of all the things I missed out on.
Firstly, is this pathetic? Should I be doing things with people my own age? If so, how do I meet some new people?
Be honest! I can take it. And thank you. (link)
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Hi
I think that's so great that you are close to your mom and grandma. Don't ever pressure yourself into thinking that is pathetic....I think it's awesome!!!
I think you also need to spend "some" time with people your age. Maybe you just haven't found the "right" friend.
Why don't you join a team...sports or otherwise. If you find someone with similar interests then you've already been given a head start.
Nonetheless, you are NOT pathetic. As you grow up you will become even closer to your family, and that is so important. Good for you!!
Brenda
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ok so their is this one boy and i really like him. i finally got the courage to tell him and when i did he told me he like me lots too. i was so incredable happy! then a few weeks after that their was a party that we bolth went to and we hung out and ended up making out on the floor.
but little did i know his ex girlfriend walked in the room and spoiled it. he didnt care but i did it felt so wierd! so i told him and he had been calling me prude. every friday my friends and i go hang out at this place and he was their and we ended up making out their too. but then some how my mother found out and she said that she didnt want me to have any relationship with him. so i tried getting over him. i went to another party and he wasnt their and this one guy i had a crush on for 2 years was their and we ended making out! it was so much fun. but then it got around school. then i found out that the guy i had like for 2 years was going to ask out my friend. and he didnt really like me. i was devistated. then the boy i had made out with twice told me he still liked me and of coarce i still liked him. but then he started flirting with other girls ALL THE TIME! i have been dealing with this FOREVER and the other night i told him i couldnt take it anymore and i couldnt like him i also told him i just wanted to be friends. he sat down and looked like he was going to cry and i dont know if he did because he was wearing glasses. but then he still had enough happyness to be all over another girl. so i felt bad so i went to talk to him and he said that i was the player and the flirt and i told him all the girls he was flriting with that night. then he told me that they where all over him. i had upset him so much he didnt want anything to do with me. what do i do? do i say im sorry? do i stay mad at him for LIFE? what in the world do i do? i NEED advice badly!
if it makes a difference im only 14 and he is too.
thanks! :)
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Hi
It kinda sounds to me like neither of you know exactly what you want.
You're both making out with each other, as well as other people. Maybe you're both playing a bit?
I think the two of you need to decide if you want to be together exclusively, and if that's the case then no one else should be involved.
If being together is something that you both don't want, then there is no reason why you should be mad at each other for flirting/making out with other people.
Be careful....it already sounds like your "fun" is being spread around your school, and even though you aren't having sex, people may get the wrong idea and start spreading rumors. That's the last thing you need.
It's time to be together, or walk away.
Good luck,
Brenda
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I just registered to this site, and this is my first question type thing, so i dont really know what to put as my "subject" or what to put it under.
so.. this weekend, im goin to see some1,&i want to look good, so i picked out an outfit& everything, the only thing is.. i got my period this morning and i dont wear tampons,and the pants im wearing are pretty tight, but i dont want my underwear line to show?and i dont want to pick another outfit,so if any1 has any suggestions on what i should do.. i would really appreciate it... sorry if its a stupid question.! (link)
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Hi
There are pads out there that are specifically designed to fit thong underwear. Give that a try.
Good luck, and you'll great no matter what you wear!!
Brenda
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There is a condom lodged in my vagina how do I get it out?????? (link)
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Hi
Your vagina is not an endless hole.
You should be able to just pull it out. If you can't, then you'll have to seek medical attention.
I wouldn't leave it in there for too long, or you risk infection.
Good luck,
Brenda
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ok i got a problem i live with my aunt and grandma for almost 2 years now and i live witht hem because me n my mom use to get into it real bad bout stupid stuff but now me n my moms real real close and i hate livin here at my grandmas cuz its like im in prison the only bad thing ive really ever did here was get bad grades and thaey acted like it was the end of the world.. but n e ways i really really want to move bak in with my mom my mom says itsa ok but i have to tell my aunt i want to move out but im scared she wount let me or shell flip out on me i need help on tellin her i dont want to live here no more will sum 1 please help me (link)
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Hi
Maybe this is something that your mom needs to do. You are her daughter, and she has a right to want you back (unless she gave custody to your aunt or grandma).
I understand that you don't want to hurt your aunt or grandmas feelings, but you also deserve to live with your mom if that's what both you and your mom want.
You and your mom could sit down with your aunt and grandma and explain that things are better, and your ready to move home with your mom. They should be happy that you and your mom are getting along, and should encourage your relationship with her.
There will probably be some hurt feelings, only because your aunt and grandma were good enough to take you in, love you, and care for you, when you needed an out.
Just remember to show your gratitude towards them for everything they've done for you. But defintely don't do this on your own. Your mom needs to be there for emotional support.
Good luck, and take care.
Brenda
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I am so in love with one of my friends. I can't stop thinking about him. He is a good friend and shares his problems with me. He always cracks jokes and we always have friendly arguments. How can I let him know that I actually fancy him? I want him to see me as a girl and not just a mate. I'll never flirt with him. How do I tell him that I want to be more than friends?
i dont want him to see me just as a buddy......plz help..........
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Hi
He's never going to know you like him, unless you tell him, or show him. Why won't you flirt with him?
If you don't do anything to show your interest, you could be letting him get away.
It's time to take action. Sit him down and talk to him. If you guys are truly good friends, then that should take some of the nervous pressure off.
Go for it.....girl power!!!
Brenda
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She always complains about my other best friends. I ask her to stop, but she just doesn't get it! And she's way to emtional, I want to help her, but how can I when she never tells you what's wrong?
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Hi
The first thing that ran through my mind after reading your question was that she's scared of losing you to your other friends.
She complains about your other friends, because she wants you to focus more on her. She feels that you like and want to be around your other friends more than her.
Is there any reason why she too can't be friends with all of you? Could you all hang around together in a group?
I think she also needs some one on one time with you as well. She needs to know that you value her, and your friendship with her.
Maybe if she felt more secure about your friendship with her, she would be more willing to accept the fact that you have other friends.
It can be a touchy subject, but I think you need to sit down with her (just her), and talk about it rationally. Tell her how you feel, and try to make her realize how much her friendship means to you.
Good luck,
Brenda
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Do you think it is ok to ask a guy if he likes you. I mean like like you? (link)
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Hi
Yes, of course it's ok.
If people sat around and waited for things to happen for them, then nothing would get done.
Take a deep breath and go for it!!
Brenda
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I was really excited last wednesday because a male friend of mine that I havent seen in 7 months came over to my place to visit me. We had been friends for a couple of years and then he had to move 1200 miles away for a job. We had been staying in touch via email. I always thought we would end up together. Well I was very disapointed when he came to visit me. For one thing; I had a birthday gift for him and he didnt even give me a card! Our birthdays are one week apart and every other year we would exchange gifts. Then he said sarcastically " woman always need attention". He also asked me if I wanted kids. He KNOWS I do; I told him several times. I snapped that of course I did. Then before he left he said the next time he came up we should fool around in my appartment.
He's turned into a complete jerk! He knows I'm not that kind of girl- I want to save myself for marriage. It also told me a lot about his character too. Why would ask me about wanting kids if he already knew the answer? He is in his 40's and has never had his own kids- I think he's a little old to be beating around the bush about something like that. The only nice thing he DID do was tell me he would mail me my birtday gift- probably because he felt guilty- but I still think it was too little too late. We hadnt seen each other in 7 months you would think he'd want to make a good impression!
Does anyone have any insight into this? (link)
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Hi
My insight into this, is that you should forget any romantic intentions you have for him. Keep him as a friend if you want, but nothing more.
He's made it clear that he's not wanting a commitment, and you have realized that.
He didn't care about making a good impression, and said things to hurt your feelings because he obviously doesn't care.
You need to find someone who's on the same life path as you are....he's definitely not that person. He's 40 years old and besides maybe his job, he doesn't have much going for him. Move on.
Oh, and kudos to you for saving yourself until marriage!!!!!
Brenda
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My husband and I have known each other for 6 years. We've been married for 3. Great life, lots of laughs, travel. I asked him not to ask me to watch dirty movies, as I do not think they're necessary for a marriage (plus I think it's not right to watch them AND they gross me out). BUt still, he subscribes to the channels. He doesn't make me watch them, but I know he does on his own (as I understand by our cable bill, once or twice a month). How can I make him understand how much this hurts me? That I don't feel like he values me enough as a woman because he still watches that filth? I've let him know time and time again, but he just calls me prude and frigid. Every fight we have can be somehow related to this issue. I feel like he's pulling away. Help! (link)
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Hi
Oh, the pull of porn!! I'm with you....I don't see the attraction to it, especially if you have a wife who is willing and ready to make that fantasy a reality.
Have you seriously sat down and had a heart to heart about it? You've asked him not to make you watch them, but does he know how much it truly bothers you that he watches them?
I think if you tell him that you feel degraded by him watching them, and you feel he's too busy looking at porn, which means he's not looking at you, maybe he'll get it.
Obviously, he feels it shouldn't be an issue, but if you feel strongly enough about it, then you need to stand your ground. Until he TRULY understands how hurt you are by it, he will likely continue.
Here's a thought....why don't you make his porn fantasy come true? It could spice up your sex life a bit, and hopefully help.
Good luck to you,
Brenda
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i've had this friend for a couple of years now, we're in different grades (i'm a grade higher than him) but we're good friends. well recently when we speak on MSN we've been playing "truth & dare" and talking really sexual and intimate with one another. i do enjoy it, but i'm starting to think it might make things weird between us from now on. also, i kinda have a boyfriend. well, we haven't met yet.. it's an online relationship, but he's coming to stay with me in november. i don't really consider us together until he comes here, but i still feel it's sorta disloyal and "Cheating" for me to act like this with another guy. My bf and I never discuss sexual stuff for the record.
should we stop doing this? is this going to make our friendship too awkward? and i can't tug the feeling that it's cheating somehow, and i feel incredibly guilty about this..
..thanks.. i will rate (link)
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Hi
The fact that you have a guilty concience over this, and are asking this question leads me to believe that you are doing something wrong.
First lets deal with your friend. Do you have feelings for him as more than a friend? If the answer is yes, then maybe you should break up with your boyfriend and be with your friend.
If the answer is no, then not only are you "cheating" on your boyfriend, but you are leading your friend to believe that something could possibly happen between the two of you. If your friend has feelings for you, then this could lead to hearbreak. I'm sure you don't want to hurt him.
Now, as for your boyfriend. I met my husband on-line, and he is the best thing that happened to me. We did/do live in the same city, so that made it a bit easier.
If you and him have already discussed the "should we be boyfriend/girlfriend", and the answer is yes, then what you are doing is inappropriate..but I think you already knew that.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that playing with people's feelings is a dangerous road to go down, and you should turn left and get off. Decide who you want to be with, then make the appropriate steps to make that happen.
Good luck with your decision.
Brenda
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My boyfriend is the caring, sweet, humorous type; pretty much what any girl would want. But he's very, very shy. I can't seem to get him to open up when we're around people but when we're alone he opens up fine. He's not very spontaneous but isn't bothered by my personality of being very random. My guy friend had to actually talk to him about going further than just kissing to get him to do anything with me. (Usually, it's the guy taking it too far right?) I mean he can be very outgoing. Sometimes he'll just send or write random things like "Omg, she's so hot" or "She's so cool" (Talking about me)to my friends or in a message somewhere. It's hard to give him that hint to put his arm around me in public (Though he does it sometimes when we're around other people) We never hold hands but that's basically my fault since I'm very self conscious of my hands. I just want to know what I could do to open him & myself up more. (link)
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Hi
He sounds like a great guy!!
I know when you're a teenager you have hormones running all through you. Those kinds of things are very important to you. Will he kiss me, will he hug me, will he show other people that we are a couple.
As you get older, you will realize that he is being a gentleman. He wants to show you that he likes you and is interested, without having to be sexual.
This doesn't mean that he's not sexually attracted to you, but he just doesn't want to take it too fast and ruin the great thing you guys have going.
If he opens up around you that's obviously because he feels comfortable around you. He's not comfortable around people he doesn't know as well, therefore his personality kinda retreats. I'm sure he opens up around his close friends and family.
This is something that he can work on, and maybe as he gets older that will improve.
In the meantime, thank your lucky stars that you got one of the good ones, and all that other stuff will eventually fall into place.
Take care,
Brenda
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one of my bff has been getting on my nerves recently. she is a c-cup and im an a-cup. i could really care a less about boob size tho. but shes always bragging about how big her boobs are and how skinny she is. like if a girl gets hit in the chest area it hurts no matter what, but if in gym or something i get hit there she'll be like "what boobs." and she always brags about her "perfect" figure. personally i dont think she has the perfect figure or good looks but why does she brag so much? i told her a million times that lifes not about boobs and when me and her hang out the boys are all over me not her. (link)
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Hi
She brags because she's not as self-confident as she would like people to think she is.
She tries to make herself look better to others, by telling everyone how wonderful she is, when deep inside she's unsure.
You on the other hand, sound like a confident girl who knows that life does not revolve around the way you look...and especially the size of your chest!!
Boys are all over you, not her, because they see that you are real, and she is fake.
Remember that anything you say to her, could really upset her, for the simple reason that she's obviously hurting inside. So be gentle, but certainly don't stand by and let her treat you with disrespect.
Good luck,
Brenda
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