Hi Everyone!!
My name is Brenda, and I'm 34 years young. I've been happily married (to the most amazing man) for three years, and we have three children. My daughter is nine years old (my husband has adopted her), my stepdaughter is eight, and my stepson is six. I am currently a full time college student taking Business Administration specializing in Human Resource Management. I am also a volunteer with the Sexual Assault Victim Support Program with our Regional Health Authority.
My hope with this advice column is that I will be able to help people. I've been through alot in my life, and I decided that if I can help people in similar situations, then that could also help me heal, and move on. I won't go into great detail on here, but my motto has definitely become "what doesn't kill us, will only make us stronger".
I was raped when I was 16, and then continually by an abusive boyfriend when I was 19-20. He was an alcoholic and abusive sexually, physically, and emotionally. He unsuccessfully (thank God) tried to kill me.
I've been cheated on...been the cheater, I've gone through addiction, as well as losing my dad. I have clinical depression. I was a single mom for five years before I met my husband. I became extremely obese, and five years ago weighed close to 400 pounds. In January of 2000 I underwent gastric bypass surgery and have maintained a 200+ pound weight loss. I went through my childhood and adolescense being ridiculed for my appearance. I really want to help people with obesity issues.
Currently, my most stressing issues seem to be dealing with my husbands despicable ex-wife. It's hard to deal with someone whom you have absolutely no respect for as a parent, or as a person for that matter. I have many concerns about making a blended family work, so that everyone is happy.
PHEW!!!
Well....I hope I will have many visitors to my column and can help each and every one of you! Chances are..whatever it is you're going through, I've probably been there. I hope to talk to you soon.
Brenda
Website: Help Me, Brenda! E-mail: helpmebrenda@inbox.com Gender: Female Location: Manitoba, Canada Occupation: student Age: 34 Member Since: April 9, 2006 Answers: 193 Last Update: October 5, 2006 Visitors: 21105
Main Categories: General Sex Questions Mental health Families View All
Favorite Columnists karenR Razhie isis Alin75 Nallie MaxwellsSilverHammer TheTeenGirl thistimeofyear
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Rating: 5
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I CANT TALK TO HIM i never have before except the one time no joke so how do i handle that
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Rating: 5
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good adviceee.
well its been 3 months later.
&& me and him are finally together<3
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thank you is this advice is the best and im 14 and i only wish that they would give me more responsibilty,but that you and your really good at this thanks.!!!
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Aww thank you so so so much!
You helped a lot! like you dont even knwo! so much :D thanks! <33
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thank you. I understand what you're saying, and many people tell me that, but it's hard to talk to an adult I trust about it, I'm 14 by the way.
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Thanks for the feedback with a similar situation.
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it was too long, i dont feel like reading an essay. shorter answers and questions are liked better..
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Thank you so much ..you really understands me and with your words I feel a peace within me
Thank you so much and God bless you
marilu
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Thanx for clarifying! and thats kinda scary that you could get pregnant like that.
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Thank you so much, your advice really helped.
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thank you so much! ♥ it means alot that you'd say such nice things about me!! thank you :o)
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Thank you for your sensitive answer. I talked to him about it, and he asked if I would hate him if he had given me HIV, and I said I could never hate him. So I'm going to ask for the HIV test. Thanks again.
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the thing is, im scared of commetment because at this age i think it should be do what you want and if you find the right guy, grab him and dont let go.
yeah about the rumor thing... people think im this bad party girl because i hang out with those kind of people but im no im more like you good girl...
thanks i think talking to him would probally be the best thing i can do for myself :)
YOUR AWESOME ♥
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thank you for the advice. and im very sorry that happened to you. im very nervous because prom id coming up this thursday and me an all my friends and our dates are gettin a hotel rom afterwards .. so i dont know. but thank you soo much. <3
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Thankyou- I think you're right that he doesnt care about me- what kind of guy doesnt even buy a girl a birthday card after not seeing her for 7 months? If he truly cared about me he would have gotten me a nice gift and wouldnt have made those rude comments. You're right that besides his pathetic job as a cook in the oil camps that he doesnt have much going for him- he's not good looking at all and is just plain insensitive.
Once again thanks for opening my eyes!
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My parents do live together. My mom just says "she didnt see it" iv gone to teachers councelers nd police .. the DHS things im old enough to take care of myself
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thanks!i deffinetly want to look further into that
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Thank you so much for your advice, it makes really good sense. I have been in therapy before, and didn't get that far. But I'll try again....Thanks again.
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im ganna ask him in person on monday im in april vaca so thank u ill tell you what happens
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Thanks Brenda, I know I need to talk to him as soon as possible. I just need the right moment. Very good advice.
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This isn't really what I was looking for. I was hoping for some ideas.
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thank u i understand the responsibility with sex and understand i am ready for everything and the way my mother is pregnancy would be better than birth control sadly....
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aw thanx i'm sure the pain will go away when i see my little baby thanx alot for ur help :]
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its a pimple im pretty sure it has a white head but it really hurts to pop it so i cant and ive been getting it alot lately for the apst months like it goes awy and comes back but im pretty sure it is a pimple
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Rating: 5
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thank you so much. That was exactly what I needed. I decided to go with my family.
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Rating: 5
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great advice and thank you so much its really helped me thank you and i will wait!
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