im 15/f and me and my best guy friend went to a party n both got a little drunk among other things. anyway we ended up having sex and since then i've found out im pregnant and i know its his and i told him about it. hes basically demanding i keep it but see i dont want to b/c its going to destroy my body, reputation,i know i wont be able to keep my gpa above a 4.0, and my mom will kill me. so should i just go behind his back or what?
pinkpatchgrl answered Saturday May 13 2006, 9:50 pm: For me, I say keep the baby and deal with the consequences of your actions. You decided to drink and do whatever those 'among other things' are. You should know at 15 that they impair your ability to think striaght. I know you've heard stories of people getting drunk and having one night stands. You and him did this. It's not like it was unavoidable. Sure your mom will be disapointed in you, but why wouldn't she?
I also think that you should be happy you have a friend that would demand you keep the baby. He cares.
yes, pregnancy gets you fat, but it's nothing that you can't work off.
To me it seems since you are already pregnant, getting an abortion and going back to school acting fine, seems like a lie about your reputation. You can still be yourself if your pregnant, you can still work hard to get good grades in school.
I've heard of many people who get abortions later regret it and think about if they had kept the baby. They wish they could have chosen differently.
It doesn't mean you have to raise the kid. If you can't and no one in your family can, you can put it up for adoption. Just don't kill the baby.
lilprincess11208 answered Tuesday May 9 2006, 8:00 pm: You should do what you think is right because if you keep it and your mom finds out your really dead and you might have to drop out of school to take care of the baby. So you better tell someone [ lilprincess11208's advice column | Ask lilprincess11208 A Question ]
jenni4rmdabloc09 answered Tuesday May 9 2006, 7:59 pm: Okay well i personally think abortions are wrong! and that you should tell one of your parents. after you have the baby if you do you can always give it up in some cases parents adopt their grandchildren and it will be raised like one of your siblings!--you also have to understand that its his kid to so you cnat make the decision by yourself.--hope i helped! [ jenni4rmdabloc09's advice column | Ask jenni4rmdabloc09 A Question ]
thistimeofyear answered Tuesday May 9 2006, 5:24 pm: Well, this is a bit more than just an "oopsy", isn't it?
Though I don't agree with the pro-life, "life from conception" mentality, having an abortion is not a casual decision.
I had an abortion when I was 16. The father did not want anything to do with the pregnancy, and when I told my mother, she thought that abortion was the best choice. Since I was 16, I figured she knew better. I truly think I did the right thing. I was not financially, emotionally, or socially stable enough to have had a child. I'm 29 now, and I still have no children, mostly because my husband and I still feel that we're not ready.
Telling your parents is important no matter WHAT the decision you make is. If you decide to have an abortion, you want the support network. I was amazed by how caring my mom was in this situation.
If you want to have this baby, think about the fact that this will be a financial responsibility mostly to your PARENTS at your age...not you. Most of the time, childbirth of a dependent child isn't even covered by insurance...so, is the father going to pay for the many thousands of dollars in labor and delivery fees?
The bottom line? It is YOUR body, and you make the decisions. No matter what, get some parental guidance...this effects all of you.
Good luck...though our situations differ with how the "fathers" feel, I know exactly what you're going through.
russianspy1234 answered Tuesday May 9 2006, 1:45 am: see this is why some friends and i came up with the slogan "just say no to sex with prolifers" its your body, your choice. you can do what you want. i suggest going to your local planned parenthood (if you need help finding it send me a private question with your zipcode and i can look it up). i dont suggest going behind his back, because unless hes an idiot hell figure it out ina few months (at most 9) so basically what you want to do is tell him youve listened to his input, but its your decision to make. if you live in a blue state then your reputation should stay more or less ok. but if you are woried you can always threaten to say he raped you, which you can quite probably make a case for since you were drunk. [ russianspy1234's advice column | Ask russianspy1234 A Question ]
DefinedEyes answered Sunday May 7 2006, 5:37 pm: Tell a parent, get input.
Because, I dont agree with abortions at all,
and I understand your a teenager, and you have your whole life ahead of you.
& you cant make this decision on your own, so tell a parent, and tell the boy how you feel and stuff. [ DefinedEyes's advice column | Ask DefinedEyes A Question ]
sweetascandy7364 answered Sunday May 7 2006, 12:21 pm: I would tell a parent or someone you trust. Look in the yellow pages there are many places that can give you different alternatives to abortion. Personally going behingd his back I think would be very wrong it his child too. I don't mean to yell at you or tell you how to live your life but I am strongly agensit abortion. I have seen what it does to people. people who have had a abortion like 20 years ago tell me not a day has gone by were they don't feel guity about killing that baby. Try to find altrenatives like adoption is a very good loving chocie. I just don't want you to have to live with all that guilt. I hope you can tack what I have said into consideration, again I don't mean to sound rude or anything...hope I could help! [ sweetascandy7364's advice column | Ask sweetascandy7364 A Question ]
helpmebrenda answered Sunday May 7 2006, 12:20 pm: Hi
Getting pregnant is not an oopsy. It's a decision that you made. When you have sex, there is always that chance.
Now, I'm not against abortion, but I also feel that it should not be used as a form of birth control. Having an abortion can really mess you up physically and emotionally.
The fact is, is that you got pregnant, and now you have to deal with the consequenses. Ultimately the decision is up to you...it is your body, but if the father is truly against it, then you have to take that into consideration.
You stated that the reason you don't want to be pregnant is because it's going to destroy your body???? What's up with that??? Can we say selfish? Your reputation is something that you obviously didn't consider when you decided to have sex, and a baby is not going to stop you from having a great gpa.
Maybe it's time you grew up, and had a talk with your parent's. If they are behind the abortion, then I would talk to the father and let him know that you are going through with it, before you do. I think you will regret going behind his back.
I got pregnant before I was married too, and I have to say that my daughter is the single most important thing in my life. She is my world, and I couldn't imagine my life without her.
jealousyxo answered Sunday May 7 2006, 11:53 am: Talk to your parents about this even though it probably will get them angry and upset,explain to them what had happened and see their point of view on the subject and what you should do abotu the baby.I personally agree with abortion but i think its right only in certain situations.Since its your baby i would do what you think is right for you,of course the fathers opinions a factor in this too this is a really hard and potentially life changing decision and you should think long and hard about it.You basically only have 3 choices abortion,adoption,and then actually keeping the child.I wont keep the baby if you cant handle it and cant finacially support the baby.I think putting the baby up for adoption is better then abortion.Read up information about each of your options and think which ones is best for you and of course what your parents,the father and his paretns think too.Good Luck Hun!
ReginaNGretchen answered Sunday May 7 2006, 10:39 am: Just tell your mom. I mean, you're going to have to eventually. it's not like she's not going to notice when your stomach is sticking out! You don't have to keep the baby, the best choice would be adoption. Your guy friend shouldn't have any effect on your choice. He's not even your boyfriend, and he's just as much to blame as you are. That's too bad about you being pregnant, but it was your choice to get drunk so i guess you'll just have to live with it.
Ohh by the way, I was almost pregnant one time too. But thankfully it was just a false alarm and I can go on with my glamourous life as usual. Well, good luck with the baby!
Bella'sAdvice answered Sunday May 7 2006, 2:49 am: I think that you should let your mother know that your pregnant because she will find out when she wakes up to go to work in the morning and hears you puking and always feeling sleepy and hungry and eating things you never ate before, and then you discuss it with him about this baby and probably have another baby when your finished highschool, but for now you should have an abortion because you can't support the baby and neither can he if your mother kick you out of her house what are you gonna do ?So all you need to do is tell her the truth even though she'll probably be mad at you stll tell it's alot of sideeffects that can go on if you get an abortion sometimes they would send you with the clamps inside of you with no pain medication so it's best to say somethin. I know this because it happen to me and i was preganant with twins a year ago and my boyfriend unstood why i had to say something and i was to young to take care of a baby at the time anyway so plaese just think about what i said because i don't want you to go through the pain and frustration that i did and most guys say keep the baby but then when you keep it and ya'll get into an argument or something then they leave you and you'll be stuck with that baby alone then they would start sayin it's not there's because I have a sister and 3 who went through the same thing but just think about what's right for you and make sure that's what you wanna do. [ Bella'sAdvice's advice column | Ask Bella'sAdvice A Question ]
banbangirl answered Saturday May 6 2006, 11:29 pm: You should do whatever you think is right for YOU. When you get out of high school and your babies father is out drinking you will be the one with the burden. Get an Abortion. [ banbangirl's advice column | Ask banbangirl A Question ]
xEVYx answered Saturday May 6 2006, 9:32 pm: That's why teenagers shouldn't be having sex.
It all depends on your morals. If you believe in abortion and don't think you can physically and emotionally care for a baby, maybe it would be best for you.
It's important that you tell your mom. She might not take it as hard as you think, but then again you are only 15. Don't expect the least. She's going to be angry, she should be.
About the destroying your body, thats the LEAST important factor in this problem. You can always get your figure back, it might take a little time but it's do-able.
Would you be able to live with yourself if you didn't have it? Life starts at conception, you know.
I'm not trying to give you a lecture, you might and probably do have a different opinion then I do. However in my eyes, abortion is wrong.
You had sex, you should stand up for what you did and take what life gives you.
No one here can tell you what to do. It's all up to you and your family, and everyone's going to have a different outlook.
It's not just about going behind his back, it's about life, literally.
If you think you're mature enough to have sex, then you should be mature enough to care for a baby.
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