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what in the world is up with this guy?
I was really excited last wednesday because a male friend of mine that I havent seen in 7 months came over to my place to visit me. We had been friends for a couple of years and then he had to move 1200 miles away for a job. We had been staying in touch via email. I always thought we would end up together. Well I was very disapointed when he came to visit me. For one thing; I had a birthday gift for him and he didnt even give me a card! Our birthdays are one week apart and every other year we would exchange gifts. Then he said sarcastically " woman always need attention". He also asked me if I wanted kids. He KNOWS I do; I told him several times. I snapped that of course I did. Then before he left he said the next time he came up we should fool around in my appartment.
He's turned into a complete jerk! He knows I'm not that kind of girl- I want to save myself for marriage. It also told me a lot about his character too. Why would ask me about wanting kids if he already knew the answer? He is in his 40's and has never had his own kids- I think he's a little old to be beating around the bush about something like that. The only nice thing he DID do was tell me he would mail me my birtday gift- probably because he felt guilty- but I still think it was too little too late. We hadnt seen each other in 7 months you would think he'd want to make a good impression!
Does anyone have any insight into this?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I think moving into a romantic relationship with him would be a bad idea. He seems to not be too concerned with what you think, or want. And he just sounds like he has alterior motives.
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I would say forget about getting into a romantic relationship with him. Let him know you just want to be friends because I'm not too sure he knows that. He may have seemed really sweet through emails, but emails can be deceiving. I wouldn't trust this guy for a little while until you feel like you've developed a friendly relationship with him. His intentions for his next visit are clear and if thats not what you want, let him know. He may think that you want to have fool around in your appartment, so the first thing you should do is let him know you are not. Someone who forces you into doing something you don't want to isn't exactly a true friend. Think about this relationship you have with this guy and decide if you can work things out or if its time to call it quits. It's your choice and what ever you choose, do it because thats what you want to do, not because you are being pressured into it by someone else. Also, I would talk to a close friend about what happened to get their opinion on the situation. Maybe he was kidding around and you overreacted.. you never know. Just deal with this problem one step at a time. I hope the advice of a 15 year old can help you... Good luck!
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Hi
My insight into this, is that you should forget any romantic intentions you have for him. Keep him as a friend if you want, but nothing more.
He's made it clear that he's not wanting a commitment, and you have realized that.
He didn't care about making a good impression, and said things to hurt your feelings because he obviously doesn't care.
You need to find someone who's on the same life path as you are....he's definitely not that person. He's 40 years old and besides maybe his job, he doesn't have much going for him. Move on.
Oh, and kudos to you for saving yourself until marriage!!!!!
Brenda
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