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Mixed Signals
OK, Im a 17 yr old female and at the beginning of the year my best friends brother asked me out (great 'cause i've liked him for ages) BUT he had broken up with his girlfriend of 1yr 9 months 2 weeks before...(which i wasn't aware of!) so we were 'seeing' each other for...a week when he decided that it was all too fast and he still loved his ex.(just for referance she broke up with him...because of 'exams' and has recently text and called him)Fair enough i respected that he stopped it,was a long relationship with his ex after all.1 thing he did say to me though is that he doesnt think he could think of me in that way.He tells my friends that too...but also that we're really close and he loves who i am.I'm not imagining this,as his sister and family can see it too...but the way he looks at me and talks to me implies something else.Everyone says there is unmistakable chemistry and his mum told me that he told her he will 'decide when its time and he's ready'.I'm all over the place as I like him as a person - we're the same, like the same things etc. but all this is confusing me so much and getting me down.I do realise that he still loves his ex,it would be impossible not to as it hasn't been long since they broke up.But the one thing I don't understant is why tell my friends and I that he thinks of me as a friend....then tell his mum and that mentioned above, and his friends are always telling me how attractive he thinks I am and always nudging him when I am in the room, they all look at me and analyse me ect...
Thanks for your time, Any relpy would help me
x
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Hi
No doubt you're confused...he's sending out alot of mixed signals.
My thought is that he himself is confused. He was in a long term relationship with his girlfriend, only to have his heart broken by her.
This doesn't mean that he doesn't have feelings for you, but everything is still so fresh. It was probably a mistake to get involved with you so soon after his breakup. It probably would have been best to sort through his feelings first.
Now, with all that being said he is showing you signs that he is interested in you. He even asked you out.
So, just when he thought he was getting his life "back on track" with you, his ex contacts him again. This would naturally throw him for a loop.
He has feelings for you, but his feelings for his ex are still there.
He's telling your friends that he thinks of you as a friend, because he is unsure of how things are going to turn out. He obviously doesn't want to hurt you, and that should be respected.
He tells his family another story, because he feels comfortable and secure enough with his family to tell them how he really feels.
I think you need to step back and give him the time that he needs to resolve these issues in his head. You can tell him how you feel...that you would like to pursue a relationship with him, but not until he is completely sure and ready to move on.
Now, you also shouldn't wait around forever, just in case being with him isn't in the cards. Don't put your life on hold for too long.
If you guys are meant to be together then it WILL happen...some things just take time.
Good luck to you, and take care.
Brenda
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