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If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

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Laura/22/England



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advice

16/f.
im scared of people like in gangs in stuff or people who could beat me up. but i don't get any dignanty if i let them walk all over me and im tired of taking their crap. i want to be able to do or say anything i want[nothing stupid of course]. and i am going to do that, but do you think those people will beat me up or shoot me?

No matter where you are, there's always going to be assholes in gangs who think they're more superior than anyone and feel it's okay to say and do whatever the hell they want. Well they're absolute idiots and aren't going to get any where in life.. but unfortunately, due to their idiocy, they can go out of their way to piss you off, maybe even try to harm you, who knows.
What I'm trying to say is, why do you feel the need to stand up to these people? SO many times, I've heard of innocent people who try and stand up to gangs, but end up being murdered/beaten up - and it's just not worth it.
It's impossible to say what they will do to you - we don't know them and definitely don't know what they're capable of.
Don't get involved with them and just get on with your life.

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i have friends and they all do pot.. i have told them that i dont want to do ti and most of them respect my decision, but theres this one girl that keeps on offering.. and sometimes i get tempted to know what its like so what should i do?
FRiend of potheads


You've made your own decision not to smoke, so stick by it.
I'm sure if you ask the girl not to offer it any more, she will listen. She's probably just trying to be nice and isn't intentionally pressuring you. but once you've said it and you're still being nagged to try it, perhaps it's best if you don't hang around them whilst they do it.
As for the temptation..
Read:
http://www.well.com/user/woa/fspot.htm
See, it's not so cool.

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I have a uneven butt.. like its bigger on one side then the other, and it looks weird in some jeans.. i was wondering if you new ne exercizes that could help me "even things out" if u know what i mean!! Thanx.. i rele rele rele rele rele rele rele could use the help!!

Okay, first thing's first - is it your bum that's uneven and not your another body part, like your hips? Have you checked your posture?
If it's just your bum then you could try exercises to tighten the muscles.
The following are the easiest to tone up your bum:
Running, cycling, lunges and squats.
This may sound silly, but clenching your bum a good few times a day may also help.
Hopefully, if you stick to these, they will tighten up the "bigger side".
I'd just like you to remember that noones body is perfectly even - so you're probably not alone with this problem. You're the only one who will probably notice it, too.
Good luck.

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i have inny nipples like an inny belly button is it bad?

It's not "bad".
Lots of people have inverted nipples.
If they have always been like that, then it's nothing to worry about.
How old are you? There's a chance they could grow and stick out (protrude) as you get older.
If they don't change and it bothers you that much, surgery can be done.
If I were you, I'd just learn to like them. :)

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my ears are pierced 4 times on each side, the most recent ones have been there for almost exactly a year.

on my left ear, the most recent one is swollen and leaking some kind of thin, sticky, colorless pus... it's not bleeding or anything. and it's only that one, none of the others are doing it.

i'm afraid of it closing up, i really don't want that... i've tried using an antiseptic on it twice a day but nothing really seems to be helping that much. it hurts when i roll over on my left side when i try to sleep.

what is it/what should i do?

Don't put any more antiseptic on it. Or rubbing alcohol. Or anything other than salt for that matter. They can dry out the piercing and clog it up.
Piercings can sometimes play up even after a lengthy time of having it pierced. I should know, I've had my fair share.
Just soak a cotton wool ball in sea salt and warm water solution and hold it against the piercing for about 15 minutes for 3 times a day.
Do not touch it any other time.
Give it a week and it should be fine.
You shouldn't worry if the pus is colourless. If it turns a different colour, it's a sign of infection. If that happens, or it doesn't get better with the salt soaks, see your doc to get antibiotics. Don't ever take an infected piercing out without being told to by a professional, because it traps the infection inside you.
P.S, try not to sleep on that side :P

For further advice on piercings, check out this site. It's for all mods and can be a lot of help:
www.bmezine.com

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I'm 18. Should I go out with a 26 year old guy?

Who cares what anyone here thinks?
If you, personally, want to date a 26 year old, then by all means, go for it.
You're old enough to make wise decisions for yourself.
If you both connect with each other, then give it a try.
Age is only a number. and you are both adults after all!
Very best of luck.

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14/f.
There's red bumps like all around and on my vag, and i haven't had sex or anything, and when i shave, like they bleed. wtf is ittt.

If you're shaving, then I'm assuming it's irritation caused by the razor. If you do it often, then it's bound to bleed because your area is sensitive.
When you shave, make sure you do it in the bath or shower and use a decent shaving cream/gel/etc. Don't go too hard and take your time.
Let yourself heal before you shave again.
You'll get used to it.

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i don't really know what to say for my candles. and who to dedicate them too... its a really hard decision and i dont want anyone to get upset! what should i do?

If you have more than 16 people, you don't have to just dedicate one candle to each of them.
Example:
One candle for your parents, one for siblings, one for your best friends, etc. (name their names so they do get a mention, though).
If you're struggling to fill 16 spaces, perhaps add some heroes to the list and explain how they've made you the person you are today.
What to say should just come from the heart. Tell them you're thankful they're in your life, how you've enjoyed sharing special moments with them.. and so on.
Just a question - if you're finding it really hard, is it a must for you to do this and not just say thank you to everyone who is involved in your life as a whole?

Happy birthday for whenever it is, anyway. and good luck!

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I’m a 50 years-old man and I addicted a lot of sexual relations and dating with very beautiful ladies .I decided recently to quite this unsatisfied behavior .I have stopped dating women for four months so far and I want to continue for more one year .Can you help my with some advice how I can be strong against the temptation of women especially that I’m single.

Get a hobby. Seriously. Do something you enjoy or try out new things. Spend time with friends and family if you have them and go places together.
The key is to keep yourself and your mind occupied, so you won't think about it.
4 months is a great start and hopefully it'll get easier as time goes on.
Keep strong.

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hi from 17 yrs old i started masterbution now i m 27 yrs guy next month is my marriage but now a day i feel that my penis is not awaking it is loose & fell sperm in a min. please help me out

I'm finding it really hard to understand this question, but from what I can gather, you should just ask your doctor. There can be a lot of reasons why it's happening - I highly doubt masturbation is the cause for your problem.

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am hurt my bf just broke up with me becaused i put my h girl to talk to him he said this was no game i cry to him begg him but i dk what else to do he keeps textin me how does it feels i really love him but what should i do

This question doesn't really make much sense.
Whatever you did, you're just going to have to apologize and try and prove to him you won't do it again. Give him a bit of time to cool down and then ask to see him so you can both talk.

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What is phone sex? Obviously there aren't phone stds.. haha. But, what is it?


"a form of virtual sex; a sexual intercourse but done remotely and verbally, i.e. two people talk by phone and their deliberate choice of words (as well as intonation, tone of voice) is intended to produce sexual arousal of the party talked to. As a follow-up to its verbal level, phone sex can be connected with masturbation; in its other version, phone sex is synonymous to an act of masturbation being described and commented on over the phone to turn the other party on."

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=phone+sex

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Hi, ive been with my boyfriend for a year and a half and a few days ago his friend got on the phone calling me nasty names.

and i figured out my boyfriend got wasted and madeout with another girl.


i love him but i dont trust him.

i am misrable without him. should i give him another chance?

The best advice is to seriously follow your own heart.
People make crap mistakes, which is why I, personally believe, everyone deserves a second chance.
If it's meant to be, you'll work through it.

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My friends and i are going camping on saturday
i just have a problem.
1) Id have to lie to my mum and dad about where im sleeping, as they wouldnt let me otherwise.
Should i lie to them?
Or just not go?
The lad that i like is going, and i really want to go.
Im jst really worried id get found out.
xx

Lying isn't going to get you anywhere - especially in this situation.
Let's just say they found out somehow.. or if something happened - they wouldn't trust you again for a long time and wouldn't be happy to see you hanging around with guys.
Tell them where you're really going and tell them who with. Give them contact numbers (they probably won't even phone your friends) and promise to keep in contact with them to prove you're safe.
If you try to show you're mature and responsible, they might agree to let you go.

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Faye-17
Okay so this guy (Spencer) word got around that I thought he was awesome, and he randomly asked me out over myspace right when school got out. We've gone to dinner and a Gaming zone with his friends over a period of 1 1/2 weeks, and talked lots over myspace. He seems shy, but then again I think his friends pressured him into asking me out. His friends talk to me more than he does >.< and they're all still complete strangers to me.

we had an awkward momment when getting a ride home, it was just me and him alone in the back of a car in the dark. and like... he wouldnt even make eye contact. and truthfully. I wanna kiss him so bad. but Im afraid of what he'll do, and Im extremely shy myself! but does it sound like he's shy? and if he is, what do I do?!

~thanks

Yes, it sounds like he is shy. It's going to take a bit of time for him to feel comfortable around you. Just make sure you're communicating as best as you can (carry on chatting over myspace, maybe call him every now and then) and things should get better. Perhaps you should go somewhere without his friends if you haven't already (make it public so he doesn't feel awkward).
Don't worry too much about it for now. Getting into a relationship is quite daunting for some people.

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Do you have to have a certain type of tongue to get it pierced? I want mine pierced but my tongue is pretty short, like I can't stick it out that far. Would that be a problem?? Thanks~

They'll check your tongue beforehand to see where the best place is - so it doesn't bash against your teeth and it's not near veins etc. My friend has a very short tongue - he still got it pierced and it's fine.

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My mom told me to use a q-tip and rubbing alcohol and clean my new piercing but i've been reading piercing&tattoo's websites and their aftercare tips and they say to use dial soap and warm water. Should I listen to my mom or them?

Neither. Rubbing alcohol dries out the piercing. Dial soap clogs the piercing up.
ALL you need is salt and water. (use a q tip, yes)

"Make your sea salt solution - A teaspoon sea salt per 8oz (one cup) of distilled warm water- in a clean glass or receptacle."

http://wiki.bmezine.com/index.php/Salt_Soaks

P.S..
www.bmezine.com
Great site for mods.

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well me and my boyfriend have been going out for almost 3 months and we've been talking about 5 months and stuff.Until we acually started going out.

We were talking about sex and stuff and i feel like i have strong feelings for him.So he asdked me if i was ready and i told him yes.He said he was ready but at the same time he wasnt...everytime he comes to my house we touch eachother and stuff as in him fingering me and me giving him a handjob but we never acually do the real thing.Cause we're both virgins.& we both have'nt gone that far.

i was confused..what does he mean by that???
I dont know if hes ready or not.

You can't be ready and not ready at the same time. You either are ready, or you aren't.
This makes me feel he's not 100% - so give him a little more time. Ask him why he said that - there must be some things he isn't sure about or he's worrying about something.
Communicate. :)

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I just cheat on my boyfriend. Not like sex or anything, i'm only 14. I kissed someone else today. We both went to hang out, knowing we liked each other, and ended up making out. I feel REALLY bad though. I mean, he's single so he doesn't care, but he kept saying "it isn't cheating since you don't even like your boyfriend". which is true, but my boyfriend is like in LOVE with me and I just can't bring myself to dump him. I don't know...I just feel really bad. And I'm always getting on to my best friend because she cheats on like all of her boyfriends. I feel like such a hippocrit...I don't know what to do. Help?

Just stop doing it. You've done it once so let it be a lesson learnt. Put yourself in your boyfriends position. How would you like it if he went to hang out with girls and got on them? Not to mention saying it's not cheating because he doesn't like you anyway.
Disappointed, hurt, angry..?
If you "don't like" your boyfriend, that's another issue you need to sort out entirely. When he gets home, be the mature one and end the relationship. Stop stringing him along because you don't want to hurt him, you've already hurt him - he just doesn't know it. Yet.
As for the pool tomorrow - if your friends are going, then go. Don't use it as another excuse to cheat because he will be there too. It will give you the opportunity to talk to him about it and explain you made a mistake and won't be doing it again whilst you're in a relationship.
Good luck.

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today i was shaving "down there" and i got a few little cuts at the top of my vagina, like the kind you get when you're shaving your legs. there were like, maybe 4 of them, small little dots, with only a little dots of bllood. i cleaned the cuts with soap and water and put a band-aid over them. could anything happen to me? like a disease or something? it stings a little, but i think that was from the soap. what are the possibilities of something happening, and what could happen? i'm kind of concerned and nervous, please help
!

Nothing's going to happen, so don't worry. People get cuts - it's not the end of the world. The only thing that could happen is they can get infected - but I highly doubt that, seeing as you've washed/covered them.. and I don't think you'd be silly enough to keep on touching them and putting bacteria there. :)

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