about

Hi I'm Dee. I'm 23 and married. I've worked in health care as well as office settings but am now a home-maker. I'm knowledgeable in a variety of subjects but don't mind doing a little research if asked about something I don't know about. Most of my friends come to me for advice. I read several advice columns and would like to help you also.

I'm not judgemental. Your life is yours to live it as you choose. I believe asking for advice is good, but ultimately the choice is yours. You WILL NOT find a hurtful or smartass answer here.

If you have a question that you would like to keep private, you can email me and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.

advice

okay, here's the thing. i've had sex before and done other sexual things, but i've never had an orgasm. i can always give the guys one, but i can never get one. is something wrong with me? like how do you have one? if your gonna put something stupid ima rate you low, but if you at least try, i'll rate 5's!! thanks

There's no set way to ensure you have an orgasm I'm sorry to say. There's nothing wrong with you. Not all women have orgasms. The best thing to do is try to relax and help your boyfriend find the spots that are most likely to bring you to orgasm. Another option is to try the woman-on-top position (cowgirl or riding) since it will allow you to control the action and you can figure out what speed, depth, and angle best do it for you.

Good luck. Be safe.

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All my life-I was known as the "stick."


Now I'm gaining weight-and fast. I am on birth control and that could be one of the reasons-but I'm also not in as many sports as i once was.

I'm not fat-but I feel as if i am overweight. I am 5'9 and i weigh 130.


Psycologically-I want to stop eating. I eat something fattening-and then I decide not to eat for the rest of the day.



I can't shake this-and I really just want to lose weight. I run every day-but it soon ended-I just couldn't do it anymore. I have horrible back problems. I try and eat heathy-but i still feel fat.


Sorry.


Please help..

Actually when I checked your height against a healthy weight chart, you're a few pounds underweight. It's natural to gain a few pounds when you first go on the birth control pill but it will even out once the hormones get regulated.

It seems to me that you have a poor body image of yourself. Talk your parents and your doctor about this as this can lead to extremely dangerous health decisions such as anorexia and bulimia. They can help you decide if you really do need to lose weight and how to best go about it safely.

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Hello, I was wondering if there were some long term effects of going on "the pill"? I've checked the Planned Parenthood site, it doesn't say anything about long term effects, only side effects in taking it.

I've also googled it without a credible website, a lot of them are personal websites or something of the sort.

Does anyone have a website that they know of that I can find this information?

As someone who has been on the pill, I know how you feel. There are some effects of being on the pill. Short-term effects may include break-through bleeding, an increase in blood pressure, weight gain, crankiness or irritability (usually a sign that you need to try a different pill), etc.

As for long term effects....For women with a family history of breast cancer, there is an increased risk of cancer when you take the pill.
http://www.drdonnica.com/display.asp?article=199
You are also at higher risk for blood clots if you smoke while taking the pill. Some studies show that birth control pill users are at higher risk to get depression also.

I hope this helps.

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ok like when i have sex i never get and orgasm!!! the guy always get 1 or more... but i never do!!! but wen i masterbate i do!!! so what do i need to do??? like make the guy go longer or what????

Not all women do orgasm with sex. It could be that your boyfriend isn't hitting the right spots for you or it could be you're too tense to allow the orgasm.

Try the woman-on-top (cowgirl or riding) position. It will give you more control over the sex so you can figure out which speeds, depths and angles are best for you.

A good lover always makes sure that you reach pleasure too. If your boyfriend isn't, then I would consider either waiting on sex or finding another guy. Talking about sex before-hand can help.

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what is a good web dite that i can get good workout ideas and not have to give my email address?.... i reall need to loose like 10 pounds and be a little toned befor august 10th!!!

The following sites offer free exercises and explanations of how to do them. You can mix and match your routine for what fits you best.

http://www.weightlossresources.co.uk/exercise/body_toning/upper_body.htm
http://www.perfect-body-toning.com/index.html
http://www.acefitness.org/getfit/freeexercise.aspx

For weight loss, I would combine a high-intensity workout with a low calorie-diet. It takes 3500 calories to make a pound so you have to decrease your calorie intake and burn that many calories. It isn't healthy to lose more than 2 pounds a week.

You can find a great calories burned estimator at the following site. It will give you a pretty close estimate of how many calories you're burning so you can figure out how many calories you need to take out of your diet.

http://www.healthstatus.com/cbc.html

Good luck.

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OK so... me and this guy went out and then he dumped me..then i asked him "why?" and he said "if i tell you it might break our friendship"(we are really good friends. I told he it would not but he says it would and if he did tell me it would just prove how big of a jerk he is..he said to ask he friends..i did but they all give me diffrent answers and i really wanna know why to see if we can fix it because it seems he kind of likes me still.but he life is confusing and depreseeing and i don't want to make it wore...so what should i do???please help thats sorry its SOOOO lone.

It sounds to me like he's dealing with a personal issue that he doesn't think you could take. The best thing you can do is be patient with him, be a friend, and give him time to work through it on his own. If he really likes you as much as you like him, he'll come running back to you once he gets his issues worked out.

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ok im 13 and a virgin im male and what is the age most people have sex if their not sluts or whores? and is it late for me not to have sex or early whats the deel i mean i really wanna have sex i meen realy bad and i mastrbate like 3 times a day..

You should wait until you're completely comfortable with the idea of having sex. There's no perfect age to begin having sex. You just have to make sure you're ready for it and that you can deal with protecting yourself and any consequences of having sex. At 13, I think you're a little young but that's just me. I asked my husband and he said he was 15 his first time so maybe it varies between men and women.

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this is a very embarrising topic but i have a gf who has done numerous things to me (sexually) the problem is i truly dont know the perfect way to finger a girl.....very embarrassing but please help

There is no perfect way. The best thing to do is take it slow, be gentle, and follow your girlfriend's lead.

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Hi my name is Bill. Im 15 and I currently attend a christian church. As a baby my parents werent married, my mom ran away, my dad couldnt afford a baby soo he left me with his parents. I grew up with my grandparents till right before my 15th b-day when my grandma died from carcinoid cancer. after that i weant to live with my dad. instead of being distanced from God I feel closer. my pastor said im the strongest person he's met. what does he mean by that? by the way i want to go to olivet collage and become a youth pastor myself.

I think your preacher means that you are strong because you've held on to your faith through the trials God has given you.

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alright, im 13 and my mom put me on birth control pills...but im a vergin. she doesnt belive me so now im starting the pill on sunday. so i told my bf and he said that if his mom knew about it she would buy him condoms. so we both laughed....sigh...ok now my problem. does this mean that he wants to have sex? or wat? i mean i LOVE this kid...and i was thinking about having sex with him for awhile now. but im not sure if he wants to. i mean i know were like really young but i really do love him. so do you think i should have sex with him and do you think he wants to have it with me or is he just kidding around? and if we did have sex where would we have it? please help me im so freaking confused! I NEED HELP!!!!!!!!!! sorry if this is too long.

I think he was commenting more on the fact that if his mom knew you were on birth control, she'd think you two were having sex. For now, I would wait on having sex. Since you are just starting your pills, you need to at be on the pill at least a couple months before they reach full effectiveness.

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Recently, I've been talking to a boy who is much more experienced than me. Not to sound like a prude, but does it hurt getting fingered for the first time?

If you're ready and relaxed, and the guy is gentle, it should not hurt.

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everyones saying you bleed wen you have sex


...please explain this to me & is it weird for him? my b/f is not a virgin and i am

Some women do bleed when they have sex for the first time. If you do, don't freak. It's completely natural.

The best thing to do is talk about sex with your boyfriend before you do it. Let him know that it's your first time and you want to take it slow so you'll have time to adjust to his size. Trust me, he'll be flattered. If he takes it slow and is gentle with you, there should be little if any pain or bleeding.

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Lately whenevr i eat pizza i get an upset stomach. I just ate some cereal with milk and my stomach is upset. I don't think i'm lactose.. but is this normal??? the pain is like squeezing and bloating. or like twisting.. (if that makes sense) thanks

It does sound like your lactose intolerant. It's not really a big deal. You can get some pills at your pharmacy that will help you digest lactose products. Just take them about 30 minutes before eating and they will help.

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I have this really good workout for my outer thighs and it works great! but this workout doesnt work my inner thighs. does anybody have a good workout for your inner thighs??
thanks! i'll rate high!

Leg extensions, leg curls, squats, side lunges, lying side leg raises, butterflies, walking, cycling, rollerblading, and stair-climbing will all help tone your inner thigh. The wider your legs are, the more your inner thighs work so you'll tone more in this area.

Reducing your calories and exercising more to burn calories will help too.

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the sides of my stomach are really big and i want to get rid of them what are the best ways to loose weight on your sides

Side crunches and twists will help tone the area. Eating a low fat diet and being sure to drink LOTS of water will also help.

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ok so im 13 and im going out with this guy named Bobby. Bobby has had already had his first kiss and he make outs with his girlfriends. I have never done that before and i think he might be a little too fast for me. I need to learn how to be a good kisser. Also I have only had two boyfriends and they werent very serious so how should I act with Bobby? As you can see I need your advice badly.

please help!

Since you feel he's moving too fast for you, I would talk to him about it. Tell him while you enjoy being with him, you think things are moving a little quicker than you're comfortable with and you'd like to slow it down a bit.

If he truly cares about you, he won't mind slowing down until you're comfortable. He'll also teach you what you need to know, which is fun btw.

Good luck.

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what do i do, my girlfriend is geting hi on by her ex, but im not the violent type, or the type o confront, so how do i handle it? it really messes with me, cse it seems like she isnt making it clear to him that her and i are together and there is no chance for him... i dont know. but i really love her and this kind of stuff it aggrovating to try and handle...

Really it's something your girlfriend needs to deal with. Let her know that it bothers you and ask (note I said ask, don't tell) her to make it clear to her ex that she is no longer single and is not interested in a relationship with him.

If you try to deal with it yourself, you may end up getting hurt if he's the violent type or your girlfriend may get upset with you since you interfered in what she might consider her business.

Good luck.

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Anyone have experience with wisdom teeth?

Well, my appointment for getting my wisdom teeth surgically removed is on August 2nd. No, my wisdom teeth have not sprouted, they're still hidden inside of my gums. I'd kind of like to know what to expect. I don't want to be too freaked out but then again I don't want to be unprepared. If you or someone you know has gotten their wisdom teeth out, could you please tell me the procedures before, during, and after? I'm not too worried about the after, I know it will be painful, but I can deal with it...just not the before and during. Don't give me a website, I've already done my share of researching, I just want to hear from real people that have experienced it. Here are some questions buzzing around in my head and I would be VERY GRATEFUL if these are answered:

- Will I get a shot for anesthesia? Knowing my dentist...I don't think I will get sleeping gas. Many people say they just got sleeping gas. My last bad experience at the dentist was when I had my four permanent teeth removed. And for that they gave me shots. Boy did it hurt. I still remember my eyes watering from the pain and the blood squirting...I am really scared of shots.
- How do they keep your mouth open? My brother said they stuck a big block into his mouth. Eek. I'm not to comfortable with that either. I have pretty bad gag reflexes.
- How can I keep the empty sockets that will be there after it's all done clean? I heard about salt and water?
- Any foods you would recommend? I know I'm going to miss eating "real" food.

Thank you VERY much for your help. It really does ease my nerves a little.

You will most likely be put under with anesthesia during the procedure. Since it's a surgical procedure, they may put an IV in and administer the meds that way. Talk to your oral surgeon before the procedure about anesthesia and tell him/her about your previous bad experience. If they know ahead of time, they can make adjustments for your comfort.

Sometimes they do stick things in your mouth to keep it open. If you have a sensitive gag reflex, discuss it with the oral surgeon before-hand so he can take that into consideration.

A salt water gargle will keep the area clean. Gently brushing can also help. The oral surgeon will give you a list of things after the procedure that you should and shouldn't do as well as how to care for the area.

Soft items such as mashed potatoes, soft vegetables, rice, very tender cuts of meat, and soups are all options for food. Try to avoid foods with seeds or kernels since they're more likely to get stuck in the hole. If you have no complications, you'll be back to "real food" within the week.

I hope this helps settle your anxiety.

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Today the discharge in my underwear had a yellowish brown tint to it. Some parts of it looked kinda red. This is the first time this has happened. Is this my period coming or should I worry. I don't want to go to the doctor *unless its really serious* because my family is really short of money right now. I'll rate 5's for any helpfull answer.

If you're not due for your period, I would go to the doctor since it could be a sign of a vaginal infection. Other signs of vaginal infection are strong foul odor and clumpy discharge. These are sometimes accompanied by vaginal itching. Left untreated, this can lead to infertility as well as other problems.

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My boyfriend and I are going to seperate schools next year and I think its going to be hard to stay in touch alot but we both really want to stay together because we love each other alot.. does anyone have any tips that will keep us from drifting apart?

Strengthening your relationship now will help make the distance seem smaller. Taking the time for frequent phone calls, letters, emails, IMs, etc when you are apart will make the distance seem not so bad. Little things like a card or a note telling him you love him for no reason will go a long way. When you have school breaks, try spending time together then. The following sites have literally thousands of ideas to keep your romance going.

http://www.romantic-tips.com/
http://www.lovingyou.com/content/romance/?ID=ideas
http://www.theromantic.com/

I hope these help. Good luck and best wishes.

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