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I sometimes take long breaks from the site. I'm more than happy to answer anyone's questions, but just make sure they're not too time sensitive. :)

Facts about me:
*happy
*employed
*married
*large extended family
*bisexual
*advanced college degree
*no kids (yet)

advice

if a girl puked several times in the past will her menstraul eventually become regular again,or will it be PERMANATELY ABSENT?

It depends. It could go either way. Most of the time your menstrual cycle will come back, but in some rare cases it will not. She would have to see a doctor to know for sure.

I was raped when i was a younger child by my older cousin and ever since then I've been unable to perform an sexual act with another person. I get an erection but then lose it very quickly and I can never reach a climax or anything... I can when i'm alone but I can't seem to do it when I'm with anyone no matter how much stimulation they give me handjob, blowjob, etc. I've been to a shrink but it didn't seem to help me out... How can I fix myself to be able to show that type of intimacy with someone else? The reason why I ask is because i've been dating this guy for almost 4 months now and we've messed around a lot but he doesn't want it to be a one-sided thing where he is able to reach his climax and have an orgasm whereas I don't. I've already told him my situation and it frustrates him that he can't do anything to make me be able to Climax... Can anyone help me??

You've been to therapy before and it hasn't worked. I would actually suggest that you try some kind of couples therapy with your partner. Even though you're not permanantly together or anything, maybe being there with the therapist AND the person you want to have a good time sexually with is what you need. Rape is a really tough thing to recover from. You can do it though, so don't give up. Keep fighting as hard as you can. I wish you the very best of luck. :)

...But I don't know what to do. When I see a girl kissing a guy, I get seriously turned off...But when I see a girl kissing a girl or something...it seems right to me. I sometimes get aroused by the latter. This is very strange...and I have no idea how it came about. The thing is - sometimes I like guys too! When they kiss a girl, or when a guy talks to me. I have NO idea what's going on. I might be bisexual, or I might be a full lesbian. No idea what's going on with me...I sometimes have thoughts and weird lesbian dreams. o_o...sometimes it scares me. I haven't told anyone. But there are certain clues...In school, sometimes when a girl passes by, or something...like a PRETTY girl...I for some reason (without even REALIZING) tend to stare at her for a while (Like, "check her out")...and it seems VERY weird. I don't even realize what's going on - and then my friends have to tell me that I'm going to be late to class. I just find girls SO pretty. I don't know...I myself am a VERY girly person. (I'm 15/f). This is very foreign to me...lol. :(...is it too young of an age? And what exactly is happening?

Don't worry about it. All these feelings are normal. Lots of people have them. You're not lesbian, bisexual, or straight. You're you. Whatever feelings you have are your own and shouldn't be put into a category. At this time in your life hormones are raging. Your body is doing all it can to adjust to the changes. Even if you find that you are straight in a few years, you may experience some homosexual fantasies or feelings when you're a teenager. In a few years all these feelings will calm down a bit and things will be clearer for you. It would be best to put off classifying your sexuality until then. In the meantime don't worry about it and don't be confused. All this gay/lesbian/bisexual/straight stuff is getting way out of hand in the media these days. There's no reason why you need to decide which fits you best. Just roll with however you feel. If you wanna experiment go ahead. It could be fun. Good luck. :)

so i've liked this guy for a while now.
well i told one of my good friends how
i hooked up with him. she told me how happy
she was for me and everything. well about a week later she goes a hooks up with him! then she tells
my other friends that me and her are after the
same guy now. what do i do? and why did she
do it?

First, make sure that she did. It could just be a rumor. Since you hooked up with him and you're her friend, some people may have confused the two of you or something. Never believe what other people say. Get it from your friend directly. If you're right and she did hook up with him and all, I would question not only her, but the guy you like as well. It takes two to tango. If he hooked up with her, he's either in it just for a piece of ass or he doesn't really like you as much as you like him. Either way, it would be best not to pursue him anymore. He's a slut and he's just going to break your heart. Let your friend have him and let your friend's heart get broken. She deserves it after what she did to you. This isn't something that you should necessarily end the friendship over, though. First, it's not like you were dating him yet. Second, it could have just been a one time mistake that she does feel bad or sorry for. When you talk to her about whether she did it or not, see if she feels bad or sorry at all. If she does, try to remain friends with her. It's never good to lose a friend. Good luck!

my boyfriend and i have been goin out for over 6 months and he says that his mom really likes me and im like the daughter she never had.. but to me it doesnt seem like it. she's kinda rude in my presence [[i guess shes like that all the time]] and shes very boisterous and has an attitude and honestly im intimidated by her. ha. also we live bout 15 minutes from each other and i always go to his house [my mom is usually out around town or whatever so no one can come over here] and my mom ALWAYS has to drive me over there and pick me up and in all the time weve been goin out his moms done it maybe 5 times. and she gets mad about it everytime. i feel so bad but my mom doesnt like usin that much gas either [[she wont let me drive so yeah i cant do it]] and he tries tellin him mom that but she still whines i guess. ha, how to deal?

Hmm, sounds like your boyfriend's mom is just a grump. She likes you, don't worry. I think that what you should do is, even though she intimidates you, to sit down with her, without your boyfriend, and talk. Keep in mind that if she's rude or anything, she's just being a grump and that she really does like you and is probably a nice person under all that nasty exterior. Tell her about the gas problem and how your mom feels a little overwhelmed about driving and paying for gas all the time. Tell her how much you like her son and how this is putting some stress on your relationship because you don't want to have to spend less time with him. Don't offer a solution. Let her do that on her own. Just let out all your problems. After a woman to woman talk she might start being a little more cheerful around you. My guess is that she will probably be a bit more helpful with your transport too. Good luck! :)

I don't know why and it's kinda gross but lately like everyone in my class started wearing thongs instead of underwears and even the teacher! I don't get what's so good about having a peice of string hanging up your ass. Is it like because when you're wearing something that's not jeans that the lines on your thongs wont show up as much as an underwear would? Or is it cheaper or something?

They aren't comfortable. People that claim they are have just gotten used to them.

The panty line reason for wearing thongs is absolutely ridiculous. Yes, thongs can eliminate panty lines, BUT how is it that you know your teacher is wearing a thong? Because you can see the stupid thing. Sure she got rid of the panty line, but what's the point if you can still see the underwear?? That, to me, is much worse than a panty line. It's disgusting and slutty. If you don't want panty lines wear boyshorts or something.

I don't mind thongs. I actually wear them myself sometimes, but I always make sure that it's not going to be hanging out when I sit down or bend over...unless I'm going to be alone with my boyfriend. Nobody else needs to see that.

To add to your complaints I can't stand it when girls wear thongs to school when they have gym class. You'll walk into the locker room and "ew I'm going to go puke now".

As others have said, thongs aren't cheaper. They're often more expensive, but you can find some that are about the same price as regular underwear.

I think that most people wear them because they're popular. One of those "because everybody else does" deals. The thing is, unless they're sticking out, you can't see other people's underwear. So, in this case, wear what you want. If you think thongs are pointless and annoying don't wear them. Nobody's going to care that much anyway. If anybody gives you a hard time they suck. Don't talk to them anymore.

Ok well I went to this carreer choosing site and like all my jobs are in the same areas and when I looked at education, every job needs the exact same classes. Only, all those classes (the extra electives) are my worst subjects and subjects that I hate. I don't want to pick those classes and just pick classes that I like but thsi is high school and you're supposed to pick school courses that will help you get to your job. But picking those classes i am possitive that i'd fail them and not pass high school. what should i do?

It doesn't matter what classes you take in high school. All you have to do is graduate. The better you do in high school, the better college you can get into. The funny thing is that it doesn't really matter what classes you take in college either. For now at least, take the classes that you will do well in.

Career quizzes and the like are often wrong. Don't trust them. Trust yourself.

Good luck!

I'm 21 and I do have crooked teeth. I've had crooked teeth for quite sometime now. It's something that runs more so on my dad's side of the family so I may have the gene. Anyways, I think I may need braces and am kinda nervous about wearing them. Could someone who has had braces tell me what I would probabily need to expect and how it was with you having braces?

Thanks
Adviceguy158

Hey! The only problem that I had with braces was that right after I got them it was hard to play my flute for band. If you play an instrument it will take some time to adjust.

The braces won't hurt too much. Only for a few days after you get them and each time they are tightened. If you get Anbesol (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anbesol) it will help relieve the pain. If any loose wires are poking you you can get dental wax to cover them up. You should also get what's called a Water Pick (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Water_pick) to help clean your teeth where your toothbrush wouldn't be able to reach anymore.

Your Orthodontist would go over all the information you would need to know and give you a list of foods that you should avoid. I think that you should set up an appointment with an Orthodontist so that you can go over any specific questions you may have about your individual needs.

You may not even need braces. Many people's teeth aren't crooked enough to need them. You may be able to just wear retainers for awhile.

I wouldn't worry about troubles with the ladies. Girls your age are more mature about this type of thing and may even find it more attractive that you're bettering yourself. Personally, I think braces are kinda cute on older guys.

Here's some more information too.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dental_braces

Good luck!

Hey guys. Can anyone please give me suggestions on what you can do to ease an upset stomach? I don't have any pepto bismol and I don't want to take medications. Is there anything you can eat or drink to settle it? Thanks!! ♥

Teddy Grahams always work for me. The honey ones in particular. I have no idea why and I don't care. It works and that's all that matters.

I've heard that pineapple can settle your stomach too. I've tried it before and it worked pretty well.

I hope you feel better soon!!

okay so i like this guy and im pretty sure he likes me too, but the problem is my friend used to like him. she is now involved with another guy and she told me before that she didn't like him anymore. would it be wrong if i started to go out with him?

I don't think there's anything wrong with it, but it doesn't matter what I think. What matters is what your friend thinks. My guess is that it will be perfectly okay with her, but I would suggest talking to her about it first just to make sure. Good luck. :)

hi! im skiing [for the first time] this weekend thru my high schools' ski club :S well thats not much time to do any long-term preparations or anything, but i just thought i would post in case anyone wanted to give me advice about workin' it on the bunny hill or whatever :D

does anyone have any tips about starting skiing for the first time? i dont really know what to expect and its probably going to suck, because, well, im going to suck. lol. oh well. suggestions/tips appreciated as well as personal experiences :D thanks so much!

If you are getting lessons you'll be fine. They will teach you all the basics. If you are not planning on getting a lesson, get one! It's worth the money to spend a little time with someone that knows what they're talking about and will be able to tell you everything you need to know. I've tried to teach people to ski before, but unlike an instructor, I find it hard to help my "students" fix any specific, individual problems they are having. One piece of advice that I do have for you that your instructor might forget to mention is that if you get out of control and you need to stop, purposely fall down until you have mastered the art of stopping without falling. Until you learn how to stop the right way, it's safer to fall if you think you might be getting into trouble. No matter how many times you fall, on purpose or not, have a great time! Good luck! :)

the peice in the back of my tv, where the cable cord screws on, came out, so the tv isnt usable anymore. could i bring it to a tv repair shop to get it fixed? is that something that is able to be fixed? its the metal threaded peice that goes on the inside of the tv

Oh bummer! I've done that before, but luckily the television remained intact. ;)

Hmm, I think all the other columnists are mistaken and your cable is just fine. The place that the cable screws into is not. If I'm wrong I apologize. Getting a new cable isn't a problem and I can't see why you'd need to ask about that.

I am not a TV expert and I can't even imagine how the metal piece could have come out, but it does sound like something that could be fixed. My advice is to take a picture of it and bring the picture to Radio Shack or a similar store. The people at Radio Shack know what they're talking about and they should be able to tell you exactly what to do. You may be able to fix it yourself. That would be much cheaper than paying someone to fix it for you. Good luck. :)

yep. what do i do? i sprained it i think at basketball practice, i was running and my foot fell like sideways and i kinda stepped on it, so its like.. the veins of my feet hurt or something. idk but when i walk i feel it and it also hurts when i touch it. i put some ice at it at bball practice but what do i do now so it can heal fast? or should i see a doctor? should i stretch it out? cause when i get pains i usually work them alot and most of the time they get better. or should i let it rest? i also have a bball game this saturday. should i play? or would it like.. swell..

I've sprained my ankle playing basketball once before. First you need to tell your coach. As soon as possible. Describe the pain and your coach will be able to give you better advice than we can. If your coach thinks it's just a minor sprain, you can just get it taped up and you can still play. If you don't tape it up, it can get much worse and you won't be able to play for awhile. Until you can talk to your coach, rest and ice your ankle as much as you can. I would also suggest going to "WalMart" and getting a cheap ankle brace. They're someplace in the section with the pain killers and personal hygiene products. It'll be tight and uncomfortable, but it will reduce the pain by a lot and it shouldn't hurt to walk anymore. I found it to be a bit more comfortable when I wore a sock underneath it instead of over it. If you do end up being able to still play (which I think you will) you can wear your ankle brace instead of having to have your foot taped up every single day. Good luck!

im going to the dermatoligist next week to get some medicine and products for my face.

has anyone ever been there and did they stuff they gave you clear up your acne fast? or did it take a long time?

I used to have mild acne and my aunt made me go to a Dermatologist. I thought it was stupid, but I went anyways. The doctor looked at me from across the room, asked a few questions, gave me a perscription and that was it. The appointment took about 10 minutes. Putting this in simple terms, what I got was a face wash and a cream. The face wash goes all over your face and other parts of your body that might be affected by acne such as your back. The cream goes on afterwards only on the blemishes and you don't wash it off. My acne was gone in 2 days of using this stuff. No lie. It is wonderful. Good luck! :)

15/f

well...its kind of weird....i think im jealous over my boyfriend....i mean my family is not a poor family but i have a single dad and a brother....for a single parent raising 2 childeren ...we are that bad finacialy..but when i want something , for exsample, i wanted a digital camera for christmas , so i was trying to work and save up for the one i wanted , well all he said to his mom is he thinks he wants a digital camera , and she got it for him that same day, he dont even know how to work the camera and he never uses it!! it makes me sooo mad , and there was a game i though was really fun (saying that i dont play video games much) so i was saving up to try and buy it , well he goes out and buys it the next day ....it makes me so jealous! and i wish i didnt have this jealousy!, and i have to much pride to ask my boyfriend to buy me stuff because i was always taught to take care of myself .... if i count on a guy and he leaves...what do i have left? here is my question...is there any way to get over my jealousy?

ygsgirl is 100% right. I'd like to add that telling him how you feel may get rid of some of the jealousy too. He probably has no idea that what he is doing is wrong in your eyes. If you helped him realize that, he might just change for the better. He would at least understand you more and that's always good in a relationship. Open a window to let him see into your life. His family is very different from yours. Right now he knows no other way. Good luck. :)

My acne seems to get worse and worse everyday.
It's very embarrassing to go to school now.

It has not been getting better.
I got this nutrogena stuff and it's not working and i'm not going to the dermatologist until next monday.

Is there anyway I could possibly get my face to clear up just a little over the weekend before school next week?

I don't know about getting cleared up by the weekend, but I do have some very good advice for you. See a Dermatologist. A Dermatologist is a skin doctor. I had mild acne a few years back and my aunt made me go to a Dermatologist. I thought it was stupid and that my acne wasn't bad enough to have to see a doctor about it. Boy was I wrong. The appointment was a breeze. I went in, the guy looked at me, asked me a few questions and that was it. I was out in 10 minutes with a perscription. Over the counter acne treatments don't work. Plain and simple. Perscription acne medications are much stronger and much better. My face was completely clear in only 2 days. If decide to see a Dermatologist you will be so happy that you did. Good luck! :)

Okay, this gets a little confuzling. Say their names are Kim, Jane, and Lori. Kim and Jane are in 9th grade with me and Lori is in 10th grade. They are all bi and i have no problem with that considering that I'm bi. Anyways, Kim and JAne used to go out last year. They were kind of on and off for about 6months? Well, Kim has definately moved on but Jane is still lingering on Kim. Kim however is ignorant of that fact and goes between being her friend and getting mad at her. (I don't know the details but this has been going on since the end of last year). So anywas, so Jane has, yet again, said that Kim is officially really pissed off at her and it goes like this:

Kim and Lori are going out and they're both druggies. Lori is infamous for going out with someone for the max. of 2 weeks and within that time screwing them. Jane was really really sad when she heard that Kim was going out with Lori and I was like "Hmmm, not surprised." Then I was talking to Morgan, a guy, and he was like "So Kim is soo pissed at Jane because she said that Kim and Lori had sex." and I was like "Hmmm, woah REWIND." And I mean I have so doubt, but very little. There is a huge possiblity that they did have sex and just a little that this si false information.

Anywhos, so Kim gets mad at me if I talk to Jane and vice versa but they're BOTH my friends and not talking to either of them for a period of time isn't going to really help. So what do I do? And please don't suggest. GO TALK TO THEM or something like that. Should I just stay out of it or what?

Stay as far away from this as you can. You can still be friends with them if you want, but be very careful. Try to avoid spending a lot of time with them. If they bring up the situation tell them that you want to stay out of it. Smiling and nodding through it all will only make things worse because they will think that you have chosen a side. If they ask your opinion about something specific you can give it, but I wouldn't go any farther. Make sure that if you do choose to still be friends with them and spend time with them that you spend an equal amount of time on all of them. If you don't they'll take out all of their anger and jealousy on you. I wish you a lot of luck. You may need it!

I recently just found out that I am gay, and I really want to "come out" to the rest of my family - but the problem is were Roman Catholic, and in my religion it is a DEALY sin to be gay, and also I'm afraid that they wont accept me for who I truly am as a person. I've heard my family say some degrading things about gay people, they treat them like they have the plauge, so if I come out to them I'm afraid I might get kicked out of my family. I can't go anywhere either, all of my family friends, and friends are homophobes because of what society or the media tells them. It will be just such a great feeling to get this off my chest, but I'm afraid of the consequences. Thank you guys for understanding.

Don't tell your family yet. I would go as far as to say don't tell anybody yet because your family could catch wind of it.

I know that keeping it inside must be really hard, but the longer you do it the easier it will get, trust me. When I decided that I was bisexual I wanted to tell the world. The thing that I realized was that the world doesn't really care. It matters a lot to me and is important to me, but it would be selfish to think that all my friends and family needed to know or even wanted to know. It's a personal thing and if it comes up, so be it, but if not, it's better not to bring it up myself and in some cases it would be better not to divulge anything.

If someone that you tell takes it well great, but if they take it badly it can ruin your relationship with them. It's not that you're keeping a secret. Nothing about you has changed. You wouldn't feel bad about not telling your friends about the first time you masturbated. It's a very personal thing that doesn't need to be out in the open to have a good relationship with someone.

If your family finds out, they will probably either kick you out or try to change you. Both of these situations will be about as close to hell as you can get on Earth. The agony that telling them will cause is much greater than the pinch of apprehension you're feeling now.

I think that you should tell people at some point. You didn't indicate your age in your question, but I'm guessing that you're in high school. If I'm wrong I apologize. In any case, when you decide to tell your family, make sure that you are not dependant on them. Have a place to live and be able to support yourself.

I had a falling out with my family a few years ago. Even though it was over something different I have an idea about what life might be like for you if it happens too soon. When I did it I was already in college. I stayed with a friend and after his parents were ok with it I moved in with my boyfriend. I haven't been to my house since, only to pick up my things. I'm paying for everything all on my own with student loans. This is probably what is going to happen to you. Be prepared for it. It's hard. Have a place to stay and have a way to support yourself financially. I suggest waiting until you are in college. Things will turn out so much better for you. You'll get treated better by your peers in college too for being homosexual. If someone doesn't like it they're not going to give you a hard time, they'll just avoid you.

I wish you the very best of luck with whatever you decide to do. Don't be afraid. Just be strong and be smart. :)

Thank you so much for taking time to help me out. I appreciate it. Ok for the details why we have to part ways is that: HIS REASONS: 1. HE SAYS HE NEED TO SPEND TIME WITH OTHER FRIENDS TOO. You see for 4 yrs we both have been like centered to each other. We hang out, we travel, we do most of the things together. We don't live together but almost 3-5 times a week we are together. 2. WE HAVE DIFFERENT RELIGION. He says he has been committing many unchristian things. He wants us to fix things but not as lovers but as friends. MY REASONS : 1. I BECAME TO ATTACHED, TOO emotionally dependent to the extent that I make plans making sure it will blend on my time. And if the appointments would interfere with my time with him, i cancelled all my appointments. 2. I know the feeling is no longer healthy. I am in love. I would give anythings... but I am sure if I continue this path I will lose myself. I will lose my career, I will lose even the friendship I also maintain with him So you see, we both have different reasons.. but bottom line it is the RIGHT thing TO DO...If only the PAIN isn't this STRONG... i AM LOSING A GRIP ON MYSELF. But the more that I will linger with him it will also be fatal because by then we might end up HATING each other. Sorry for my ignorance... I am so new in this site that I don't know where to place additonal info... PLease help me. .

Well it's quite okay that you're new to the site. To add additional information, go to the blue side column on the left and click on "Your Questions". Find the question you want to add to, open it up, and right underneath where your question is typed out there's a link that says "add additional information to it".

As for your situation, I think that you and your ex had the right idea by splitting up. I think it would be better if you stayed together and decided to take a break though. I think that you two could really be good together and that the reasons why you broke up, even though they are good reasons, can be overcome. If you were on a break there would be a greater possibility that you would be getting back together. See if you can get him to do that. In that way, you'd have something to hold onto and look forward to to help you get through what you need to do. Tell him that it would help you out and it wouldn't be any different from being broken up that it's just a mental thing. That isn't entirely true, but it's not a lie either and it might get him to agree.

Good luck! :)

I don't understand this...I'm already in the 9th grade...and ALL of my friends have boyfriends! What do guys look for in a girl? Because, to me, it looks like I don't have it. I'm NOT a pushover, I don't dress slutty, and I'm not flirty. Let's also say that "I'm not easy to "get to"". I don't know. I'm a VERY good student....and I get good grades....but this seems like somewhat of a turn off for guys. And those guys that are nerdy (but cute) too, still don't PAY attention to me! It's like I'm invisible...It's just not fair. ;_;

High school relationships aren't mature relationships. Very few of them last and most of the time they are based on the wrong things. You're a smart girl. You're not giving off the vibe that you need to in order for guys your age to want to date you. They're nervous about dating and they don't want to get rejected. Your non-slutty non-flirtatiousness is making them look other places. This doesn't mean that you're not attractive and it doesn't mean that you wouldn't make an awesome girlfriend. It just means that they're looking for something else at this point in their lives. Not having a boyfriend in 9th grade isn't a problem. I didn't get one until my first year of college and I was already engaged a year and a half later. The people I knew that dated a lot in high school aren't even close to that yet. They've been hurt so many times that relationships are hard for them. They're all single. There are perks to dating earlier though. You learn how relationships work so that you don't screw it up later in your life when it really matters. This is important. You want to date and dating could really help you. I think that you should try. You say that you're not the flirtatious type. Flirting isn't a type. It's an action. If you flirt a little with some of the guys that you like, they will get the idea that you like them. Why would you want to go out with someone that you didn't think wanted to date anyone? Let them know that you want to have a boyfriend by doing some flirting. Don't go overboard with it of course though. Just do enough for them to get the idea. Good luck! :)

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