"People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone." - Audrey Hepburn
I came to this site for advice about a man and love. That very question turned my entire world around and I have had my eyes opened to things I never noticed before.
I've stayed here so that I can share the knowledge I do have. I know I'm not changing the world but I do hope that I spark others to open their eyes.
"The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself." - Oscar Wilde
So, if you learn something from what I say then repeat it to someone else who can use it.
I hope that if you see an answer of mine that you enjoy it will inspire you to go out of your way to give good, solid information. Provide links for further information, detail your responses, encourage people to seek out professionals when it's needed, and stop sugar-coating responses and just say the truth.
I hope that even if you absolutely hate my answer that it'll kick start your brain. Hopefully you'll begin taking your time to respond instead of hurried answers that are useless to an already confused person.
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." - Robert Frost
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i heard that smothering your hair in mayonaise and leaving it on for two hours then after washing it rinsing it with viniger will get rid of head lice. Is this true? (link)
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No and yes.
The vinegar is to be placed on before anything and needs to be on the hair for HOURS. The vinegar penetrates eggs and makes the sticky parts on them dissolve so it's easier to lice comb them off.
The mayonnaise (better alternative is baby oil) only helps to slide the unhatched eggs off and prevent the bugs from being able to latch on and lay eggs onto the hair shaft.
The entire process is much more complicated then putting stuff on and rinsing it off. I have a complete home remedy method for lice removal written out here:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=567917
Like I said, it takes awhile to get it done but will do the job! If you have lice just follow my directions in that other Advicenator link and you will get rid of them in just a couple of days! :D
If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me! :)
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ok this is disgusting but i think i may have picked up head lice from some where ... i work in a department store so is it possible that i picked it up from a customer or co-worker there?
And what are some easy ({and discreet)) ways to get rid of it. I am very grossed out by it and i want to get rid of them ASAP!!!
I thought it was dandruff becuase i do have dandruff so i thought the itch was just my dandruff but about two days ago i found a bug in my hair. i looked at a pic of lice and it looks like thats whats going on. I am VERY disgusted by it ... i wash my hair every day (3 times a week i use ant-dandruff shampoo) so it's not becuase im dirty or anything.
Please ... discreet and easy, fast and effective ways to get rid of them!!! (my hair is to my shoulder blades if that makes a difference) (link)
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Lice tend to stick with people who bathe more regularly, believe it or not. The hair doesn't get oily with frequent washes so they can latch on longer and not slip off.
Next, you should definately relax. Lots of people get lice.
Things you will need for a home lice-removal remedy:
1. A lice comb.
2. A lot of vinegar.
3. 2 or more bottles of babyoil.
4. A plastic grocery store bag.
5. Decent tape.
6. A disposable hairbrush.
7. Patience and time.
8. An old set of clothing.
Best Setting: Kitchen or Bathroom sink.
First you want to soak your head thoroughly with the vinegar. Use the brush and brush the vinegar throughout your hair. Saturate your hair to the point of it dripping with the straight-vinegar. As your hair is dripping into the sink, hang your hair into the plastic grocery bag. Tie it firmly around your scalp, covering all of your hair. You may end up needing to tape it firmly around your head. Remember not to put the bag over your face--you ONLY want to cover your hair and scalp.
Wait.
Go about your daily/evening things like nothing is up. Some people even go to sleep with the bag on. Any way it is, you need to leave this on for 4 to 5 hours. During this time do NOT uncover your head. Do NOT rinse the solution off. Do NOT change the situation in any way. Simply do what you would normally do.
[4+ hours later]
Best Setting: Kitchen or Bathroom sink.
Unwrap your head from the bag and vinegar and rinse with warm water. Rinse very thoroughly but do not use shampoo.
Take the bottle of baby oil and put some onto the hair after the rinse. Take the disposable brush and go through your hair if it's very tangled. Then take the lice comb and work through your hair one section at a time. Go from the scalp to the VERY end of each little section of hair and rinse the lice comb out with HOT water each time you've finished down a strand. Remember to do this comb in one long motion to help slide the eggs that are attached on your hair off of it. This is very tedious and you should go over your head three complete times with the lice comb.
Rinse your hair again under warm water.
Take the rest of the baby oil and saturate your hair in it thoroughly. It isn't going to be pretty but it is very healthy for your hair so there IS a good plus to this. So, soak your hair in the baby oil. Take the lice comb and go through your hair once after the oil has been place on it, just to get some of the excess oil from dripping off of you. Leave your hair like this for as long as possible. A good 24 to 48 hours is ideal. The longer you go, the better off you are!
During this time you may want to wear something on your head to keep your hair off of your skin. The oil isn't going to feel so great after awhile and you will look pretty roughed up but it is going to help by not allowing the critter to latch onto you and lay their sticky eggs. Your head may be a little itchy at this time but try not to scratch it--open wounds will only draw the insects back to your body.
During this time you need to wash your bedclothes and the items you have worn for the past TWO WEEKS in the washer, at the hottest temperature. Make sure to put all of these items into the dryer too. Think of things like jackets, coats, hoodies, shirts, bras, etc. that may have gotten an egg on to them. Wash EVERYTHING.
You want to vacuum your couch/chairs/bed (after bedding is removed and being washed)/car interior with a new bag and dispose of the bad immediately. Wash down headboards on the beds with a vinegar/water solution and anything you may have come in contact with that an egg could be stuck to (kitchen chairs?).
[24+ hours later]
Best Setting: Kitchen or Bathroom sink.
Take the second bottle of baby oil and soak your hair again. By this time your hair has soaked up a lot of the oil from before, by the way, so the second bottle will help to slide the lice comb through. Lice comb your hair three more times, just like before--rinsing in hot water after each LONG stroke from the scalp to the end of the hair section. Take your time. You're almost done!
Hop into the shower and wash your hair! Your hair will extra-oily so it make take a few washings to get it back to normal but it IS healthy for your hair so no need to panic. If you want to retain some of the oil in your hair for the next day or so (to help keep the lice off if there are any more around, of course) then just wash your hair out once.
You're finished!
It was an excruciating few days but the lice are gone from your head, I guarantee! My little sister got lice and it got to the point that we were going to have to cut her hair off completely. She had gone through SO many lice treatments that we were afraid she was going to suffer brain damage (it is a warning on the boxes)! I found two home remedies for lice treatment and formed one very-doable treatment system. My sister was rid of the lice from the above home remedy! The lice didn't come back like they did from the other treatments! It has worked every single time that we've had to do it :) Better than any store-bought lice treatment, but it does take patience and determination.
If at all possible stay away from lice sprays and lice treatments. They aren't good for your body and the method above DOES work if you do it properly and take the patience. It isn't a fun event, of course, but I promise that it does do the trick.
I hope you get rid of your pesky bug problem and they stay away for good! :D You may want to inform your co-workers that someone may have lice around and they each need to be checked because you SERIOUSLY don't want to have to do the above more than once if you don't absolutely have to.
Remember that your head might be a little itchy for a few days after treatment as it heals up. The itchy spots are actually insect bites where the bugs were feeding off of you.
If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me! :)
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can using tampons "pop your cherry" and make you not a virgin? (link)
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Your hymen can possibly break when inserting a tampon. Hymens tend to be considered the physical "virginity" of a woman in this culture. Usually inserting a tampon only stretches the hymen a bit, but not all women are created equal and some just don't have as much elasticity as others. Some are so elastic-like that they can stretch enough to allow a penis to enter.
Hymen elasticity is lost with age and activity. If you have rough sex or sex very often then it will tear the hymen. If you are older (like mid-30s) and your hymen is still there and you engage in sex, chances are your hymen will not allow an entire penis to enter without breaking.
The hymen (or "cherry" as some younger generations refer to it as) usually has a small hole in it as it is. A hymen is made of very thin tissue and it is fairly easy to tear or stretch. It's located at the entrance to the vagina so, actually, it isn't inside of the vagina. The hole is there to allow menstrual blood to escape the body and is usually too small to accommodate an entire penis to enter the vagina without stretching/tearing.
It is rare but some females are born with an imperforate hymen--or a hymen with no opening. A doctor will do a simple surgery to create a hole in the hymen of these newborn females so that blood from later menstrual cycles does not back up into the body.
Here is a link to different kinds of hymens a woman may have:
http://www.soc.ucsb.edu/sexinfo/?article=3rF5
If your hymen is not in-tact it does indicate that you have done something to tear/break it. If you have inserted objects into your vagina then it is broken. Your hymen does tend to indicate virginity since it usually does not tear/break unless something has been inserted. It doesn't actually tell if you had a penis put inside of you though.
Usually, when a person claims to be a virgin people expect for the person's hymen to be in-tact. This being said, if you claim to a future husband that you are a virgin and he checks on wedding night and doesn't see a hymen he may feel you have already lost your virginity previously. However, there is the option to have a hymen reconstructed called hymenoplasty if you have accidentally torn yours and want it to be repaired before sexual activities.
In short, some people actually do consider tampon usage taking of the virginity while others do not see it that way. Doctors can tell if you've inserted something into your vagina by seeing if your hymen has been stretched and/or torn but they usually don't say anything to you or your parent(s).
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14/f
Hi, this is my 1st period. On the first day ever i realized i got my period it was the amount of blood the size of 2 toonies. the 3rd day was the same and during both thoose days i changed pads 3 times. Now i am on day 3 and it is CONTINUOUS!!! i meean i have changed 6 times today because their is so much blood. After i change pads ... about an hour after it is ALMOST full and time to change again. Almost every 2-3 maybey hours the pad cannot hold up anymore it feels like. But then again i am only using light little pads cause they are comfortable. I am wondering if this means i am a having heavy periods. or are they irregular. Will their be less blood. And is their a problem? is their to much blood in one day? IS THEIR SOMETHING WRONG? cause my mom said she hardly gets to much blood. it is just becoming anoying to have to be wet every hour and changing constantly. But this ONLY HAPPEND ON DAY 3!!!!!! NOT DAY 1 OR 2 ... will it lessen?? (link)
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Typically if you are going through one pad per hour it is time to head to the ER for some help; however, you sound okay to me because you are not using normal pads and because you do not HAVE to change every hour.
Stop using "light, little pads" and use regular pads. Pantyliners are not made for periods and if you're using those then you're having an extremely LIGHT period to be able to go days with only using the liners.
If, by chance, you meant to say you are using regular sized pads, only the "thin" version (Example would be: Always Ultra Thin Pads), then changing every 2 to 3 hours is doing pretty good. I, typically, change my pad every 2 hours (and this is pretty normal for women).
A period usually lasts between 5 and 7 days. If you're on your third day and you're still bleeding "heavily" then don't worry about it just yet. If you're on your 7th day and your period is not stopping or getting lighter THEN you should begin to worry. Most women have their heaviest day on the second or third day of their cycle (some the fourth, even).
You sound like a completely normal female.
It's normal to need to change a pad every 2 to 3 hours. It's normal to bleed heavily for the first few days (especially on the second and third).
Relax.
Something is wrong if:
- You are SOAKING through a pad (normal sized) and absolutely MUST change it every hour.
- You are bleeding heavily for more than 7 days.
- You are having back-to-back periods, or periods with little break in between. (EXAMPLE: Having a full period, having one week without a period, and having another full period)
During my cycle, I typically change my pad every 2 hours (and whenever I go to the bathroom--whether I need to change or not), I bleed for a good 6 days, and day 2/3 is my heaviest days. I have, roughly, 26 days between periods.
When I was younger I had A LOT of horrible periods, in which I HAD to see a doctor about. I bled for an entire month before. I did have extremely heavy periods. I had only a few days of no period in between my periods at times. If anyone knows what period problems are, I do.
So, I suggest you relax and keep on doing what you're doing. Use regular pads and change frequently for health purposes. If your period does not begin to get lighter by the 7th day then talk to your mother about it so you can see a doctor.
Oh, the reason why your mother has light periods could be from a variety of reasons, the major one being age. As some women age they may find their periods to become much lighter. Other women with light periods were simply just "born" that way, so to speak. We're all different in some ways :)
Sounds like your normal!
If you have any more questions about this sort of thing please feel free to ask me directly! :)
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hey ... so i am 14 & i just got my period and i DO NOT WANNA TELL MY MOM! but i only have enough pads and stuff to last me maybey 2 days and i am gonna have to tell her if i want to be able to buy more!?? sooo what do i do? because if i tell her she wil laugh and tell my sister. and if my sister finds out she will tell the WORLD !! sooo embarressing. and i also wanna know what am i supposed to do? am i supposed to wear a pad all day? change it? tampon vs. pad??? HELP PLEASE! (link)
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Relax! :)
This happens to every girl! :)
When your mother is alone (as this IS a private female matter) then approach her as so...
"Mom...I really need to talk about something..."
If she is available at the time then suggest she sit down with you for a moment. This makes for a more relaxed environment for you and your mother. Simply sit down with her and say...
"I went to the bathroom the other day and I, apparently, started my period. I'm really embarrassed and I didn't want to tell you because it's a very private thing, especially for me. I just need to tell you because I don't have many more pads that I can use and I don't have another way to get them. I'm nervous about this whole period thing...maybe you can talk to me a little bit and tell me what I'm suppose to be doing to make sure my body is healthy..."
Your mother is not going to be horrified. She isn't going to treat you any differently other than purchasing new "items" for you every once in awhile. You're completely normal and your mother will even be glad to hear that you're physically maturing too! :)
If your mother laughs and tells your sister then it just goes to show how immature your mother is about adult things. Having your period is not a laughing matter. It's just not funny. If someone laughs at it then they obviously are lacking some maturity in themselves. If she laughs, just hold your head up and say, "That's okay. I know that my period just means I'm becoming more womanly. I know it isn't funny."
Remember, having your period means you can DEFINITELY become pregnant. It's the sign that your fertile and that you're maturing in the physical sense.
I definately recommend pads for your menstrual cycle. Pads can be worn during light days, heavy days, and even simple discharge days. Tampons can only be worn during your actual period or your risk of Toxic Shock Syndrome increases dramatically. You also do not need to worry about waking in the middle of the night to change your pad if you're not a heavy bleeder (and we ALL have days that we're not bleeding so heavily); however, with tampons they MUST be changed every 6 - 8 hours or bacteria will multiply so quickly it can cause some severe problems.
Symptoms of TSS include high fever, vomiting or diarrhea, severe muscle aches, a feeling of extreme weakness or dizziness, and a rash that looks like a sunburn. If you ever have these symptoms while wearing a tampon, remove it and tell an adult immediately. Have someone take you to the nearest emergency room as soon as possible.
When I tried tampons I ended up passing out over and over again within seconds of insertion. My body was obviously screaming at me that something was terribly wrong although nothing was painful at all. I often wonder if some other women have experienced this and thought it was normal because it definately is not okay to experience. I really believe it dramatically shocked my body and that's why I passed out.
My first gynecologist I had actually told me that tampons increased my risk of cancer. My mother had cancer before in her vaginal area and was told to NEVER wear tampons again because if there is any cancerous cells in there it will irritate them and cause them to begin multiplying if they aren't already. My mother was also told to tell her female children this too since we are higher risk for that sort of cancer. I asked my first gynecologist about it and he definately recommended not using tampons because of the increase cancer risk.
The longer you leave a tampon in, the higher risk of TSS you are taking. Bacteria begin to grow in the warm, moist environment of your vagina. These bacteria can grow within the tampon, enter the body from inside the vagina, then invade the bloodstream, releasing toxins that can cause a very severe, life-threatening illness.
Tampons also pull a bit of your vaginal lining out when being removed, believe it or not. This is why many women who use tampons aren't as sensitive as they once were inside of their vaginas and why many tampon-users suffer from yeast infections and bacterial vaginosis. The tampon also can leave particles behind from it, causing bacteria and yeast to grow on it. Another case is that women are frequently needing to purchase personal lubricant for sexual activities because their bodies have stopped producing enough natural lubricant to engage in such activities without problems.
The ripping of your flesh and leaving particles of material behind cannot be avoided when using tampons and could very well be why you may experience discomfort with removal or even insertion. This will not go away until you become somewhat desensitized down there--and what woman truly wants that?! Please reconsider your choice of menstrual products.
Here are some good websites about why women should stay clear of tampon-usage. Theses sites are pretty darn interesting:
http://www.thekeeperstore.com/dangers-tampons/
http://www.thebody.com/content/art497.html
http://www.earthisland.org/journal/tampons.html
http://www.frontiernet.net/~ruthb/Tampons.html
The best kind of pad that I have used has been Seventh Generation pads. They aren't bleached like other pads are so they're gentler on your skin. The website to check them out is here:
http://www.seventhgeneration.com/
They can be a little harder to find since they're as natural as pads come so your next alternative is something UNSCENTED. Always pads are usually a little more expensive so I used the Wal-Mart Equate brand or other various store-brand available, with wings (to help it keep it's spot on my panties), and unscented. The scents can irritate sensitive areas. Watch out for pads that CLAIM to be fragrance free but have a smell to the packaging. Yes, I smell the package of pads before I decide to actually take them off of the store shelf and put them into my cart. I promise, nobody thinks I'm crazy or anything.
EDITED TO ADD: In regards to changing your pad, you should do it on a schedule, for the most part. Try to change your pad every 2 hours at the most. This just helps you keep track of how much you are bleeding and how often you will need to change your pad when you get used to this whole thing. If you change your pad only once a day then it isn't good for the body because, it being a very warm and moist environment, can grow some bacteria on it--it won't be as harmful as shoving something inside of you but you don't want dirty things on your body. I, personally, also always change my pad--whether I NEED to or not--every single time I go to the bathroom. You'll be different, I'm sure--but you eventually learn when you should change and all of that! :D
I'm sure you can find pads a good alternative to tampons. Relax and go with the flow ;) things will work out just fine. If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
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i heard that cervical cancer vaccination, is only needed once your daughter is sexually active.
is that true ?
(link)
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Believe it or not, the Gardasil shot is not all it's cracked up to be. There are serious reported cases of things like seizures, blood clots, and even possible deaths. Now, no vaccination tends to be 100% effective but we're not really sure what this vaccine will do entirely for many years to come.
Here is a link in which a woman reports the death of her daughter possibly being linked to the Gardasil shots:
http://www.eastbayexpress.com/news/one_less/Content?oid=637364
Here is a link in which a person has gathered side-effects from various women that had the shot. The person has made a table of them (which is sort-of small but readable):
http://www.kkrasnowwaterman.com/blog/tabid/2962/bid/4484/HPV-Vaccine-Gardasil-seizure-fainting-paralysis.aspx
...That includes things like seizures, death, and severe headaches/pain.
This site:
http://www.judicialwatch.org/6299.shtml
...also said:
"Side effects published by Merck & Co. warn the public about potential pain, fever, nausea, dizziness and itching after receiving the vaccine. Indeed, 77% of the adverse reactions reported are typical side effects to vaccinations. But other more serious side effects reported include paralysis, Bells Palsy, Guillain-Barre Syndrome, and seizures."
Here is also another site that informs others how serious the side-effects can be:
http://www.macleans.ca/article.jsp?content=20070827_108312_108312&source=srch
This also has some things to say about the Gardasil vaccine:
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/261430/concerns_grow_as_gardasil_the_cervical.html
I did read that Merck (the makers of Gardasil) did add to the side effects list: Bells Palsy, paralysis, seizures, and Guillain-Barre Syndrome. Those are all very serious conditions to be developing after a vaccine used to help prevent only four types of HPV.
The four strains of HPV it helps prevent are numbers 16, 18, 6, and 11. There are more than 100 strains of HPV though. Strains 16 and 18 cause cervical cancer and 6 and 11 cause genital warts; however, there are many other strains that cause the same thing and that are transmitted the same way. Gardasil does NOT prevent ovarian cancer and has nothing to do with the prevention of such cancer.
Genital cancers are caused by HPV strain numbers 16, 18, 31, 33, 35, 39, 45, 51. Genital warts are caused by 6, 11, 42, 43, 44, 55 and some others I'm not sure of. Other different strains of HPV are also responsible for warts on the hands and feet, a scaly skin disease, and even an oral infection that causes masses on oral mucus membranes.
I also want to point out that as I was searching for links to post here for you to check out, I saw a lot of lawsuit websites where some people are taking legal action to sue Merck for the severe side-effects they experienced. I'm not sure if they have a true lawsuit yet or if they're just claims so far.
Like I said, no vaccination tends to be 100% safe. It's up to you to decide if you want to risk the possible very-harmful side effects that could come along with it. For me, I'd like to give it a few years before even thinking of possibility getting the shot.
The vaccine is so new for all we know it makes women infertile (a major fear of mine which is why I refuse to get the vaccination). We won't be sure what exactly it MAY do to our bodies until quite a few years down the road. I know that in pregnant women it causes miscarriages and major birth defects but it's still early to really find out if it causes anything in women who get pregnant AFTER receiving the shot.
And to be quite blunt, your daughter doesn't NEED this sort of vaccine against FOUR strains of HPV if she is keeping her pants on. Teach your daughter how dangerous sexual activity is and you won't have to worry if she will end up with HPV. If a woman is only with one man her entire life (and that man is only with her throughout his entire life) the chances of her developing cervical cancer or genital warts are pretty darn slim. Promiscuity never got anyone health.
I hope you find the things you're looking for and I hope I've helped your search a little.
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well im 19 yrs old and im pregnat im probably like 2 months my boyfriend doesnt want anything to do with me or the baby i talked to his mom and she said she would support me. i kno i could just abort and get ir over with it but im against abortion idk what to do. (link)
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Keep your baby.
Your baby is innocent. He/she didn't do anything wrong. Murder is for punishment, not for convenience. Your baby is alive inside of you. He/she is comfortable and feels secure. He/she trusts "Mommy" to keep him/her safe--not to rip it's body apart out of fear of ruining the rest of your life.
Abortion is down right horrifying and I have the proof below!:
http://www.advicenators.com/talkaboutmetopic.php?t=1043&userboard_id=48957
In case you don't feel like opening that link, I will copy and paste the information into this:
"Abortion can really harm your body just as much as giving birth to a child. I understand your body may not be mature enough to handle pregnancy but no woman's body is truly ready to abort a fetus.
I know it comes down to your body, your life, and possibly even your mistake. I am truly only concerned for your well-being.
Women who have had abortions can experience problems later on. Many women suffer from depression after having an abortion because, in the end, they realize that they have stopped another human life. The dates of conception, abortion, and the date the child would have been born haunts many women. Some woman can't deal with this so much that they end up committing suicide. If that isn't enough, many women experience difficulty conceiving years later after an abortion--yes, it can render you infertile for the rest of your days.
I found a VERY interesting site for teenagers on abortion. These girls had abortions when they were your age and have gained courage to write about their experiences for other teens to read:
http://www.teenbreaks.com/abortion/abortionhome.cfm
Most of them regret that they had an abortion. Many of them cannot get over that fact and have the dates stuck in their minds. I'm sure that when that date passes each year they are reminded of what they went through to rid themselves of a life they were developing inside of their wombs.
I also want to direct you to a site that shows a live abortion. It's in different parts because the speaker gives you a lot of information on what the fetus and the mother will be going through. The video shows the ultra-sound as the procedure happens. It is important you see this before having an abortion so that you know fully what will be happening--it is best to inform yourself. Before clicking the link to watch the video, prepare yourself because it is real life:
http://www.silentscream.org/video1.htm
...Part 3 really starts to show the actual abortion happening. The speaker does add that the doctor that did the abortion never did another one and that the woman filming it never spoke about abortion again, though she was previously for it.
Yes, that is a real baby, really feeling pain and maybe even fear during such a procedure. You can see that it was fully aware that it was being harmed and was not oblivious to the foreign object as many people would like you to believe.
Just as a note, some states will not perform an abortion past 4 months, most are done before the first 14 week mark. Abortions after 24 weeks are only performed because of health complications just as another note. The further along you are, the more expensive it will be. Here is also some information on how different types of abortions are done and what the baby is like during certain stages of development when these practices are performed.:
http://www.lifesitenews.com/abortiontypes/
Here are some REALLY, REALLY good videos that explain the different kinds of abortions:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QBOAPleF1t0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDj12ffvpgY
Abortion is also a very risky procedure for the mother of the fetus as well. The woman does not just pee out some blood and experience pain--the mother bleeds out the lining of her uterus as it contracts strongly to expel the fetus. The baby, placenta, umbilical cord, and the thick lining of the uterus will come out of the vagina. Even if the doctor suctions all of the "matter" out of the uterus, the woman will still bleed and may suffer some scarring in her uterus (preventing her from EVER being able to have children).
Many women have even DIED because of hemorrhaging, infections, and other complications. It's usually a very painful process for the woman and she is usually let in physical pain for days/weeks following. As another note, the woman usually bleeds for WEEKS after the abortion so it honestly isn't just a little blood in the urine.
Here is a super great website that has links to all sorts of abortion-related issues:
http://www.eadshome.com/AbortionUgly.htm
...and they even have a section (and a couple of links) of women who have passed away because of an abortion:
http://www.eadshome.com/AbortionDeaths.htm
http://www.prolife.com/marlas.htm
...as a note, MANY women are dying because of abortions:
http://www.revver.com/video/824430/daughter-died-in-abortion-procedure/
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1331962/posts
http://www.prolife.com/DEADWMN.html
Adoption is always an option of yours if you are not physically, mentally, or financially capable of caring for another human life. Please look into it if you feel you can carry the child but not raise it properly. You can contact an adoption agency in your area or you can relinquish your rights of your child and place it in the custody of the state for adoption. I've read something about Volunteers of America for adoptions being really good but I have no personal experience with them myself. Here is a link directing you to their site:
http://www.voagno.org/Services/ChildrenYouthFamilies/AdoptionServices/tabid/1238/Default.aspx
Just as another note, some agencies actually let the expecting party interact with possible parents to ensure they are giving their child the best chance at life as possible. You may want to look into those agencies to help find your child good, loving parents. It may even be possible for you to work out a way that you can still be in the child's life lightly as they grow so you're aware of their progress. The same goes for the opposite--there are adoption agencies that won't inform you of anything about the baby if you do not want to know more than that you were pregnant with it at some point.
Please know that abortion is not your only option. Please give yourself plenty of time to decide what is the best choice. Even if your parents are upset that you are pregnant they will eventually get over it. Some parents can be really hurt in the beginning that their son or daughter disobeyed but, in the end, they still love you. Many parents later realize that the unborn baby IS their grandchild and help their son or daughter to figure out how to raise the baby when it comes.
Please do not put your body through the mess that is abortion."
I think you should keep your child. As you may be thinking if you do not then you will regret it. Feeling that you might regret something long before you do it is a big sign that it isn't the wisest choice. Many women will say they will "never" have an abortion but one day wind up doing it--only to feel regret for their actions and wish they could take them back.
Relax and take everything in. This is you and your baby we are talking about. An abortion doesn't just last 20 minutes, an hour, three days, or one doctor's visit--it lasts the rest of your life. You risk being physically broken. You risk being mentally broken.
After being so selfish in this mistake (because sex when no prepared is selfish, you have to admit...) doesn't the baby at least deserve a chance? I think so...
Aborting isn't going to make everything magically better. Trust me.
There are plenty of young, single mothers out there making it. There are plenty of young women who have given up their babies to good people that were looking to adopt. There is hope for your child. You can do this without stopping another heart.
I hope that you take enough time to decide what choice is the best. My inbox is always open if you have questions! :)
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do you guys like skinny girls? (link)
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I suppose the question of, "Do black guys like skinny girls?" is fairly common in this day and age. You're completely overlooking the fact that black men are humans too.
The answer to your question is: Yes. No.
Yes, some men--of ANY and ALL races--will say they like skinny women compared to those of larger proportions. This applies to many things in regards to humans. Some men prefer short girls while others prefer tall. Some men prefer long hair on women while others prefer the short hairdos. It's all a matter of personal preference to an extent.
"Do MOST black men like skinny girls?" then you might ask. The fact of the matter is that most men, in general, like women with a little more curve. Most men would rather not have flat chests and bottoms to match. Most men would like to see a nice, proportionate woman. It's within our human genetics to prefer healthy mates. Healthy is a little bit of curve--not too much, not too little. And, yes, like I said, there will always be men who like thin women or very large women comparatively.
This means you should figure out your ideal body weight for your height. Usually to figure this out you will need to find your height and enter it into a body mass index chart:
Your body mass should equal out to be about:
http://www.nhlbisupport.com/bmi/
"Normal weight = 18.5-24.9"
if you aren't a body builder and are an average female.
Our attraction to the other gender begins within our genetic make-up. It began when we were hunters and gatherers, believe it or not. We HAD to desire mates with the "fattest" body weight--which wasn't very fat if you take into consideration what we think is fat now--to ensure the woman could carry a child to term safely and healthily. Later it became a sign of wealth when you could maintain a little weight on your bones. It was desirable to have curve as a woman.
Then you take into account how a person grew up. If they were around thin women who were womanly and attractive in more than a physical sense then the male may grow up to lean toward liking skinny women. This is especially true if the average sized women and larger women had undesirable traits--like poor attitude and whatnot.
Now that our bodies no longer have to fight to maintain a healthy weight (because our food supply is not in the short in most areas of the world now and we do not have to physically obtain this nourishment) we can see how "fat" is unhealthy. Obesity is what we are talking about now.
The ideal weight for a human is so that we can reproduce properly. If a person is too thin then the health of the woman and the child is harmed. If a person is too overweight then the health of the woman and the child is harmed.
It's human nature to like the "average" sized woman.
And, sure, factors while growing up can change those--but not for most people.
Here is a form you can fill out to get your ideal body weight for your body type:
http://www.healthcentral.com/diet-exercise/ideal-body-weight-3146-143.html
If you find that you need to gain weight then do it in the healthiest way possible. If you gain MUSCLE (which weighs a lot more than fat) then you will gain nice, lean curves. Good exercise programs will help you gain the muscle you need to support good health and an attractive female frame.
If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me! :)
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My friend and I are doing a fundraiser at our summer camp and donating all of the money to the Jonas Brothers Change for the Children foundation, but we need to know exactly what charities they donate the money to first.
I know there were the five charities for 'you decide, you donate' but I heard that's over now? So, are the Jonas Brothers still donating to those 5? Are those the only five charities they are donating money to now? Are they donating to a bunch of different ones now? Heck, are we too late to donate? Haha
As much information as possible would be very helpful! (link)
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The old five charities that the Jonas Brothers Change for the Children Foundation sent donations to were: NothingButNets.net, American Diabetes Association's Diabetes Camp, St. Jude Children's Research Hospital, Children's Hospital of Los Angeles, and Summer Stars.
As far as I know, there are no other charities that the Jonas Brothers are currently donating to at this time. I've also read that they're finished donating to the five they recently had up on the site though so this may be an outdated thing.
You can always go to The Jonas Brothers Change for the Children Foundation website, located here:
http://changeforthechildren.org/site/
There is a link on the site to contact The Jonas Brothers Change for the Children Foundation and I highly recommend sending them a message so that you have the correct information.
Hope things go well with the fundraising! :)
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im 17 years old and 5 weeks pregnant.
my boyfriends family wants me to get an abortion.
my family doesnt want me to get an abortion.
i don't want an abortion.
my boyfriends family are saying if i keep the baby then he has to move out and there disowning him.
i feel guilty.
i dont know what to do.
adoption ISNT an option.
hes scared and doesnt think were ready, i don't either but happened.
he's worried hes going to have to sell everything and not have a life or go to any parties anymore.
How do i convince him that he can still have a life? and how do i convince him that abortion isnt the right option? how can i make him see that there is a life, part of him inside me and we shouldn't kill it just because we made a mistake?
(link)
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Hi there!
You simply wouldn't believe how many young teens are going through this specific ordeal right now. I've answered quite a few girls that are torn between what somebody else is telling them (abortion) and their own beliefs.
The fact is, if you abort then YOU are the one that will have to deal with it for the rest of your life. There are girls that are killing themselves after having abortions (there are even some very recent questions that have been posted here on Advicenators about women wanting to commit suicide after aborting their unborn baby)!
So, the best way to confront your partner about the real truth about abortion is to educate him (and yourself) to the fullest extent.
Keep your baby.
Your boyfriend is not you. He will not be living your life 20 years down the road. He will not go through the physical and mental trauma that is abortion.
Your baby is innocent. He/she didn't do anything wrong. Murder is for punishment, not for convenience. Your baby is alive inside of you. He/she is comfortable and feels secure. He/she trusts "Mommy" to keep him/her safe--not to rip it's body apart out of fear of ruining the rest of your life.
Abortion is down right horrifying and I have the proof below!
For informational purposes I have actually made a [closed] thread in my forum on Advicenators. The facts are written there and you can link anyone to that at any point without having to send them this question you've written out and reveal the truth about what is going on in YOUR life. This may be beneficial in supplying the facts to your partner--you don't have to ask you posted a question on Advicenators, but, rather, you found an informative link about abortion on Advicenators that you'd like to share with him. Whatever is right in your heart in this situation.
Here is the informational link: http://www.advicenators.com/talkaboutmetopic.php?t=1043&userboard_id=48957
...and now I will supply the information here.
Women who have had abortions can experience problems later on. Many women suffer from depression after having an abortion because, in the end, they realize that they have stopped another human life. The dates of conception, abortion, and the date the child would have been born haunts many women. Some woman can't deal with this so much that they end up committing suicide. If that isn't enough, many women experience difficulty conceiving years later after an abortion--yes, it can render you infertile for the rest of your days.
I found a VERY interesting site for teenagers on abortion. These girls had abortions when they were your age and have gained courage to write about their experiences for other teens to read:
http://www.teenbreaks.com/abortion/abortionhome.cfm
Most of them regret that they had an abortion. Many of them cannot get over that fact and have the dates stuck in their minds. I'm sure that when that date passes each year they are reminded of what they went through to rid themselves of a life they were developing inside of their wombs.
I also want to direct you to a site that shows a live abortion. It's in different parts because the speaker gives you a lot of information on what the fetus and the mother will be going through. The video shows the ultra-sound as the procedure happens. It is important you see this before having an abortion--or even considering it--so that you know fully what will be happening--it is best to inform yourself. Before clicking the link to watch the video, prepare yourself because it is real life:
http://www.silentscream.org/video1.htm
...Part 3 really starts to show the actual abortion happening. The speaker does add that the doctor that did the abortion never did another one and that the woman filming it never spoke about abortion again, though she was previously for it.
Yes, that is a real baby, really feeling pain and maybe even fear during such a procedure. You can see that it was fully aware that it was being harmed and was not oblivious to the foreign object as many people would like you to believe. Yeah, abortion is pretty evil, isn't it?
Just as a note, some states will not perform an abortion past 4 months, most are done before the first 14 week mark. Abortions after 24 weeks are only performed because of health complications just as another note. The further along you are, the more expensive it will be. Here is also some information on how different types of abortions are done and what the baby is like during certain stages of development when these practices are performed.:
http://www.lifesitenews.com/abortiontypes/
Here are some REALLY, REALLY good videos that explain the different kinds of abortions (and I whole-heartedly feel that everyone should watch these):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QBOAPleF1t0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDj12ffvpgY (Yes, it gets graphic about midway through the video.)
Abortion is also a very risky procedure for the mother of the fetus as well. The woman does not just pee out some blood and experience pain--the mother bleeds out the lining of her uterus as it contracts strongly to expel the fetus. The baby, placenta, umbilical cord, and the thick lining of the uterus will come out of the vagina. Even if the doctor suctions all of the "matter" out of the uterus, the woman will still bleed and may suffer some scarring in her uterus (preventing her from EVER being able to have children).
Many women have even DIED because of hemorrhaging, infections, and other complications. It's usually a very painful process for the woman and she is usually let in physical pain for days/weeks following. As another note, the woman usually bleeds for WEEKS after the abortion so it honestly isn't just a little blood in the urine.
Here is a super great website that has links to all sorts of abortion-related issues:
http://www.eadshome.com/AbortionUgly.htm
...and they even have a section (and a couple of links) of women who have passed away because of an abortion:
http://www.eadshome.com/AbortionDeaths.htm
http://www.prolife.com/marlas.htm
...as a note, MANY women are dying because of abortions:
http://www.revver.com/video/824430/daughter-died-in-abortion-procedure/
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1331962/posts
http://www.prolife.com/DEADWMN.html
I answered a question a few weeks ago about a teenage girl that is/was pregnant and her mother desperately wanted her to abort the baby. I think you may be able to pull some beneficial information from the things I answered her with so I will supply you the link:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=559846
...and a bit of the information that sounded like important parts for your situation:
"I think you should keep your child. As you said, if you do not then you will regret it. Feeling that you will regret something long before you do it is a big sign that it isn't the wisest choice. Many women will say they will "never" have an abortion but one day wind up doing it--only to feel regret for their actions and wish they could take them back. I know you are not aborting (thank God someone has a brain!) but the same applies--you would be upset if you did it...so when you do it, you will regret it and when you hadn't.
Sit down and figure out what you are going to do once the baby comes. [This will relieve a HUGE amount of stress even if writing out the information now is confusing and stressful, it does pay off in the end!] Are you going to complete high school or get your GED? If so, write that down. If you are going to complete high school then write down where the baby is going to be during classes, who is going to take care of it, etc. Do not list anyone down as taking care of the child before you have discussed it with them. If it's a daycare center then list out that you'll be getting a job (even write down where you will be applying) and about how much that job pays. Figure it out.
This entire exercise is to prepare you for adulthood in a matter of hours, if not days (it may take days to complete by the time you're done with calling around and whatnot) as much as possible. Set your entire life up. Try to center things around your own life--trying to NOT include your boyfriend if at all possible unless you two are getting married. [Nothing against the boyfriend but sometimes love doesn't last as long as we had hoped or planned for.]
So, once you have the entire thing explained then you need to bring it to your parents [...or your partner in this case]. Show them your paper and tell them that these are your current thoughts on the subject. Don't make everything set-in-stone in case your parents have questions that you haven't addressed yet. If they bring a question to the table that you have yet to think over then ask for time before answering--even if it feels like it's a simple answer. This is the rest of your life we're talking about.
A job is pretty much required at this point. If at all possible, pick up a job while pregnant and save that money (most women work through their entire pregnancy up until the last month or so). If you don't have a job then you're not going to be able to explain where baby items are going to come from (clothing, shoes, diapers, bottles and formula is you're not going to breastfeed--which you definately should breastfeed for the health of you and your baby & it saves much-needed money--etc.) and your parents are going to assume you'll be mooching off of them entirely.
Some things you should do:
Open a bank account and put your money into it to keep better track of finances.
Make sure to determine which doctor/hospital you would take the baby to in case of an emergency or illness.
Call everyone you need to before listing them on the paper (including daycare centers for fee pricing).
Confront you parents [your partner, in this case] in a non-aggressive way. Simply sit down with them and your paper(s) and say, "I was thinking for this past week and this is what I've come up with. I know it isn't much and I know there are holes here and there...but I really think I can do this."
Everything feels like a big mess right now, I know, but things will settle down eventually. You can't really "forget" about being pregnant but it helps to look forward to the baby coming. It might ease your mind to figure out where the baby will sleep and read some books about pregnancy. Some good books you might want to check out from the library (or purchase online if available):
[If you are interested please feel free to click the link above for the list of suggested books! :) ]
By reading LOTS of books on pregnancy, breastfeeding, delivery, etc then you are preparing in multiple ways. You can look forward to things the books talk about. Instead of being frustrated, scared, and confused you will feel more at ease and happy to be experiencing all that is ahead. Your parents will also notice your take-up of the books, which may earn you a few brownie points.
The more books you pick up (even if they repeat things you've already read or don't sound as interesting) the more you're going to feel better about this entire thing. Educate yourself on EVERYTHING :)"
Relax and take everything in. This is you and your baby we are talking about. An abortion doesn't just last 20 minutes, an hour, three days, or one doctor's visit--it lasts the rest of your life. You risk being physically broken. You risk being mentally broken. Your boyfriend won't ever know the pain that you would be in.
Please, inform your partner and stand your ground. Going full term with this baby is the best thing you can do right now. This is your baby's LIFE we're talking about.
After being so selfish in this mistake (because sex when no prepared is selfish, you have to admit...) doesn't the baby at least deserve a chance? I think so...
Aborting isn't going to make everything magically better. Trust me.
Yes, I'm older than you, but not by much (I am 22). Yes, I had sex at a very early age (14). And, yes, I know it's scary right now...but you can make it through this and bloom into something beautiful, expand your family, and start the next phase of life.
Hang in there.
If you have any more questions--about ANYTHING--please feel free to ask me! :)
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I bought a penis shaped pasta for my boyfriend to cook for him when he comes back from vacation. I told my guy friend about it and he said that my boyfriend wouldn't eat it. Would he eat it or would he freak out?
(link)
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I would be SO lucky if my boyfriend did not dump me if I pulled a stunt like that!
Seriously, penis shaped pasta is for homosexual males and straight females. It's like, "Hey, I'm eating a d-ck! Haha, funny!" Check out websites for bachelorette party favors and stuff. Straight men simply do not go for eating penis pasta in any context.
If a straight man is offered such a gift it's sort of like, "Here, eat a d-ck!" No haha. No funny. No laughing. Seriously pissed is the usual response to being told that. "Eat a d-ck" is equivalent to telling someone to, "F-ck off!" just for reference.
If your boyfriend likes men AND women (and I'm sure you know his preferences by now) then the penis pasta might be acceptable. This would depend on how strongly he was drawn to the male gender, I suppose.
In short, toss the pasta out and find a nice alternative. DangerNerd had a fairly decent suggestion about getting the boob pasta if you want a funny, sexual food. Titaroni is the name of the pasta you would be looking for if you're wanting the boob version. You may also want to give the joke gift of:
Gummy Boobs
Succulent Fruity Boobs
Boobie Cookies
Booty Cookies 6 pcs
Tit Lick's Gum
Sweet Chocolate Titty Suckers
Tit Tarts Breath Mints
Boob Candy (candy coated chocolate)
Peppermint Boobs
Vagina Joy Pop
Or try creating:
Cake: Purchase "naughty adult cake pans" and go nuts.
Cookies: Purchase "naughty adult cookie cutters" and go nuts.
So, in short, straight men won't think this gift is cute or funny. It's hurtful, unflattering, feminizing, and can ruin the entire relationship in a matter of seconds. Straight men don't want to eat a d-ck, I promise.
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I want to download things for my Sims 2 game but I have no idea how. I found some websites that have things you can download, but I never know how to actually load them to my game. Can someone help me? (link)
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Open your folder named "My Documents" and look for a folder inside named "EA Games"--once you find that, double click it. That should open you up to another place in which you can find a folder simply named "The Sims 2"--double click that folder to open it up.
You will then see a lot of folders. Find the "Downloads" folder and double click it. This is where you are suppose to place all of the objects you download. After you download the object and open the zip file (if it is in a zip file, which most of the ones I've downloaded are) you simply drag and drop into this folder.
If I have confused you then maybe this site will make it simpler:
http://www.thesimsresource.com/article/help/Installing_Custom_Content
Enjoy! :)
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18f ...I first had sex with a guy when I was 17 and when we had sex for the first time I didnt bleed and other times after that. Then with a new guy I had sex with him and there was blood on the condom, and i was asked if i was on my peroid, which i wasnt so thought nothing of it. The next day i saw no blood and was with the guy again were he fingered me and there was blood on his hands and he freaked. but when i got home and cleaned myself up I realized that i wasnt on my peroid. So were is the blood coming from and why? Is it that this second guy actually popped my cherry, and if so what's the best way to talk to him about it? (link)
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There are many reasons as to why you may have experienced vaginal bleeding during sexual activities (fingering; intercourse).
The hymen (or "cherry" as some younger generations refer to it as) usually has a small hole in it as it is. A hymen is made of very thin tissue and it is fairly easy to tear or stretch. It's located at the entrance to the vagina so, actually, it isn't inside of the vagina. The hole is there to allow menstrual blood to escape the body and is usually too small to accommodate an entire penis to enter the vagina without stretching/tearing. Sometimes the hymen is so elastic that it can permit a penis to fit into it. It usually loses this elasticity with age. It is also possible that it was not completely torn from previous sexual experiences and you tore a bit more recently.
There is also the possibility that you were not lubricated well enough. Many women experience this problem if they do not take time to properly prepare for sexual intercourse, which is why foreplay is usually important for women. If things are not lubricated enough, friction (especially friction of fingernails) can cause the walls to tear and bleed a little.
Chlamydia and gonorrhea both are very easily (and commonly) transmitted and cause bleeding after/during sexual intercourse. It is possible that your past partners have not been completely truthful about their past sexual experiences and have picked up an STD/STI previously. Younger people tend to feel the need to lie about previous partners so please do not completely dismiss the possibility.
Vaginal yeast infections and/or bacterial infections can cause bleeding after/during sex. In these cases, you honestly need to seek a health care provider so that you do not risk major damage to your reproductive areas. If you suspect you may be experiencing either (some syptoms include itching and burning, burning while urinating, cottage-cheese like discharge) then please see a doctor as soon as you can.
Here is a link that lists the most common reasons as to why women experience bleeding after sexual activities, it may be very helpful for you to educate yourself on the possibilities for the future:
http://womenshealth.about.com/cs/menstruation/a/bleedaftersex.htm
I hope I've helped you with finding out the cause of your bleeding. Please make a doctor's appointment to ensure you're in good health. It's better to be extra safe than extra sorry.
P.S. STDs can be transmitted through fingering, handjobs, and even oral sex in addition to intercourse. No sexual activity is "safe" from these nasty diseases.
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Me and my boyfriend have recently been fooling around,but not actually "making love". About one month ago,he cummed ON my vigina,but not IN it..could i be pregnant? (link)
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I'm so sad that the rumor that "sperm dies instantly outside of the body" or "sperm dies instantly when it hits air" is still being spread, especially on Advicenators. No, sperm does not "die instantly" or even "within seconds" after being ejaculated outside of the body. The sperm swim slower outside of the body, live shorter lifespans (A LOT more than seconds, believe me), and are mostly dead by the time the ejaculate actually dries (which takes more than seconds, right? Right.). If the sperm is on a body part then the body temperature can keep the little guys alive for quite some time. Sperm are amazing little creatures.
Just for reference, men who are trying to raise their sperm count are told to wear loose clothing on their bottom half to help the temperature drop to a cooler temperature. Hmm...doesn't sound like the sperm are DYING from the temperature drop, does it?
If oxygen (or anything in our air) killed the sperm then NOBODY would get pregnant. It's ridiculously unbelievable to think that we, females, have no sort of "air" or "oxygen" in our vaginas. Our vaginas are simply fleshy HOLES--and what happens to be in holes, typically? Air. And when you shove something in a hole, what is pushed first into that hole? Air. And, speaking of this, what are queefs? Air being released from the...VAGINA! Yes, AIR/OXYGEN does NOT kill sperm!
Yes, you have a fairly good chance of being pregnant! Yes, yes, yes!
Sperm need a moist environment to move in. They are little bitty creatures with tails--the tail flutters and propels them throughout the moist area. They are very small so there IS a chance they can swim through fabric even as long as it was throughly moistened. These little guys were designed to ensure reproduction--that is the only reason they are alive; they will do what they can to find the goal.
It only takes ONE sperm to fertilize your one egg inside of you. When a guy ejaculates, billions of sperm are game to finding the egg. Sperm can live inside of you, in perfect conditions, for about 5 - 7 days; however, it is definately not unheard of to find live sperm inside of a woman two weeks later. I would safely say that from the second your vaginal area came in contact with sperm until about two weeks time your egg may become fertilized and pregnancy result.
So, in short, yes, you could have been impregnanted if there was fluid contact to your vaginal area.
If your next period misses then good chances are that you are pregnant. You can take a home pregnancy test then (after the missed period) or go to a clinic for a pregnancy test (more accurate; requires blood sample).
Purchase a few home pregnancy tests and test yourself occassionally if your period does not come next month. Some home pregnancy tests are better than others. According to a couple of studies done, First Response and Early Result Pregnancy Test are the two best kinds to purchase because they are slightly more sensitive than the others. You may want to pick up a couple of those for home usage.
If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me! :)
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Ok, this is a little odd to be posting, but I would like opinions and don't really have people I trust to ask without it causing extreme weirdness. Just a warning: it may get long and rambling. I have a lot of thoughts regarding this, and they get jumbled up.
I've been married 10 years (I'm 30/female). At the start of our relationship, he was very open about sex. We enjoyed playing with other people (spanking, teasing, toys, but not intercourse), but that changed over time. It seemed gradual at first. We didn't involve others, but we still had our games. Now, that has pretty much disappeared (unless you count a swat here and there). I miss it. I miss the involvement with others, the sexual sociability. I've met a couple people who swing, and I would really enjoy that. My husband and I love each other very much and have a lot of trust for each other. The adventure and fun just have gone away.
I try to talk to him about it, but it always feels weird, like it may be uncomfortable for him. But it could just be me feeling weird bringing it up after all this time. How can I talk to him about it and rekindle his interest? There is a local swing club I would like to go to so we can mingle with other couples and see how the lifestyle works for them, see if it is really right for us. If I could get him to go with me, that would be great. But he just isn't a club kind of person, swing or otherwise.
I am also afraid that he will think I want this because he isn't enough. That isn't it. I'm just an outgoing woman who enjoys variety, and I want to share it with him.
Sometimes, it occurs to me that I may never convince him to even consider it. Really, if he considers it, we check it out, and he doesn't feel comfortable, that is fine with me. I'd just like him to know that it is something I want to explore, and to know he'd consider it for me. When I think that he won't even do that, I start thinking about seeking out experiences on my own. I don't want to sneak around. His involvement is important. I just don't know how to tell him without it being weird.
And it isn't that I need more sex. It is about experiences. I think he would benefit as well. And I love the thought of him with another woman with my consent. I don't know why. I just do.
So, how can I tell him that I want this? What can I do to encourage him to just go with me to this club one time and see how it works for other people?
It would seem I could just say all I put here, but I can't. I can't seem to figure out the right timing or words to let him know how I really feel about it. I feel like I haven't even expressed it right here and I come across as a needy slut or something. That really isn't it. It is just a part of our life that I miss, want back, and want to expand on.
How would you go about this?
(link)
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Reading back through your history of old questions (I am a paid user and have the ability to read your previous questions), you desperately need to realize something if you want anything in your marriage to work-out in the long-run:
This marriage is not only about you.
This marriage is about you, your husband, and now your child.
You explored things as a young adult that you enjoyed. Many young adults explore taboo things (drugs, sexual play, even living on the streets--a total change of lifestyle) and then grow up and out of those fantasy worlds. You cannot be a swinger and live a normal lifestyle. Every person in such relationships can tell you that. Their true selves have to be hidden from the people they love--children, too. They slowly drift away from the people they love, spending less time with family and focusing more on sexual subjects with strangers.
The selfish side of you is so clearly obvious in this sentence of yours:
"Sometimes, it occurs to me that I may never convince him to even consider it."
Convince? If you feel you may need to "convince" your husband of something then you know in your heart that he is not wanting of the situation. Convincing someone to do something tends to mean someone guilting or bribing someone into something something they disapprove of or dislike.
You have gone through therapy for your marriage. Two years ago, actually, which is actually pretty recent as far as marital therapy goes. Obviously you have been keeping feelings from your husband (and the therapist in the sessions) or you wouldn't have suddenly become very interest in changing your entire lifestyle. The therapy sessions involved finding out that your husband was hiding things that made you uncomfortable--you are now doing the same thing to him. Hiding important details of your own life.
Your husband and you are now bonded in marriage. You are one. If he is hurt, you are hurt. If you are deceiving him, you are deceiving yourself. You were so concerned two years ago because he had a female friend--but now you would be just fine and dandy with him kissing and sexing up another woman? Think this through.
Two years ago you couldn't bare for him to hang out with his best female friend while she was at home with her boyfriend! You said clearly that you were jealous of the time they spent together and the ability to share their emotions freely with each other. Then, to top everything off, you were jealous and hurt to find him looking at porn one night--PORN! NOT REAL SEX! LOOKING! NOT DOING! Do you see what I'm saying? Encouraging your husband to find new sexual partners because suddenly it sounds thrilling is so far from what your marriage needs at this point.
No, I'm not a marriage counselor, but I've had plenty of psychology courses (and yes, a psychology degree) to know that what you are after is not what you think it will be.
Growing up is hard to do for some people. They string their youth along as if it will always last. 30 isn't old, obviously, but you're a grown woman with a family now. You shouldn't be out testing the waters any more. You had a choice of what to do when you were having sexual play with others years ago and you made your decision. You've built your life up to be one way--married with a child--and you're now seeking an open relationship (which simply cannot include children in any way). Now is not the time to realize your youth was what you truly wanted all of these years.
I suggest opening with with your husband and telling him the truth. I suggest sending him this link and letting him read for himself your thought patterns on the matter. I suggest asking him for forgiveness for hiding this serious matter from him. I suggest a second round of therapy--for your marriage, and for yourself.
I talked with a woman once in regards to helping a problem like this with her. She wanted a more youthful lifestyle, to put it plainly. She was 45 or so and desperately wanted something she had left behind years previously. She wanted to be able to go out to clubs on the weekends, drink until she was a little intoxicated, and pair up with random men here-and-there for some light sexual play that she found appealing because of the taboo. The reality was that she had four children living at home that needed her (three under the age of 13, even), a husband that was working very hard to keep the family afloat in drowning times, and a household to care for and keep tidied (REGARDING YOUR FEEDBACK: THIS WAS NO WAY STEREOTYPING WHAT A WOMAN SHOULD DO; THIS IS WHAT THE WOMAN HAD COME TO KNOW AS HER LIFE, AS IN, THE WAY HER AND HER HUSBAND SET THEIR MARRIAGE UP TO BE IN THE FIRST PLACE/WHAT SHE MAY HAVE BELIEVED A WOMAN SHOULD DO AT ONE POINT IN HER LIFE). There was no room for a wild lifestyle. There was no room to play 20-year-old-letting-loose, with money to hand out for alcohol and maybe a drug use here-or-there, hang-overs on monday morning, STD testing every three months to ensure safety of herself and her family members. She made a choice. To leave. To pursue her fantasy lifestyle.
It was hard for her, I'm sure, but it had to be done or she was never going to be satisfied. She left one morning after sending the kids off to school and kissing the husband off to work. She built a new life a couple of states away from where her family is now. A divorce occurred and parental rights were eventually relinquished when she realized she did not want to go back to playing a role she wasn't happy with (a mom, a wife).
You have to decide now, too. If the woman above would have stayed in her marriage, with her children, everything would have fallen apart. The marriage was crumbling anyway as she had resentment toward her husband ("Why did we HAVE to have children?!") and her children were more and more neglected by her ("I love my children but they were in the way of my happiness!").
You see, you can't have life both ways. You either have a husband, child, and family or you don't. You can't be a 20-year-old-letting-loose and a loving-Mommy-of-1.
Tell your husband what is going on. Decide your plan of action--NOT involving the "convincing" of anyone, but you deciding what you want in life. Does your happiness mean more than the happiness of your family? Do you want to be a swinger and have sexual play with people while not having a family and child or do you want the quiet life, sex with your husband, and tending to a youngster?
If it isn't down to having to decide right now, expect it sometime. You can't hide forever if you can't make up your mind to begin with. It will get to where your marriage is failing. It will get to where swinging consumes your life and important people are neglected.
Your desires for this sort of happiness might not be more deserving than your family's is what I am saying. Sit down and think it through.
If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
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Is it normal to not enjoy sex at all? I am getting married but I do not really enjoy the sex. He uses condoms so could that possibly be why?! I enjoy oral but I am concered about the sex part.. is it normal? do condoms add less feeling?
Please help ease my mind (link)
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It's possible it could be the specific kind of condom you two have been using. They made special "thin" condoms and ribbed condoms to help things out if the woman has problems with orgasming from penetration.
Nine times out of ten, the problem is just that you--as well as many other women--do not get off with penetration alone and must have some sort of outer clitoral stimulation as well (oral sex typically provides this, which explains why that feels good). Many people simply cannot "get off" without having some stimulation on the outer bits. It's fairly normal nowadays.
Condom companies and sex toy makers have now created a special vibrating condom ring that can be used during sex. The vibrating gives the woman clitoral stimulation during the penetration.
Here is the Trojan vibrating ring (that is sold in MANY places, including your local Wal-Mart):
http://www.trojancondoms.com/Product/ProductDetails.aspx?ProductId=18
If you take a look at the Trojan condoms website, you can view many different condoms they have on the market at the moment (including ultra-thin condoms, very sensitive, and ultra-ribbed (the Ecstacy):
http://www.trojancondoms.com/Product/ProductList.aspx
Trojan also makes a Naturalamb condom that is said to be pleasurable, especially for women who have problems with latex. Amazon has them under the wording: "Trojan Naturalamb Kling Tite Natural Skin Condoms Lubricated Non Latex"
Trojan is not the only condom brand that carries special vibrating rings, ribbed condoms, skyn condoms, ultra-thin, ultra-sensitive, ribbed condoms. You may also want to check out Lifestyles:
http://www.lifestyles.com/condoms.php
Note that condoms are not 100% effective on preventing STD transmission and pregnancy. They're actually only about 85% effective on preventing pregnancy. Really. The claim of 97% is actually a clinical, laboratory study in which every possible good outcome happens so that they get the highest probability. Factors like lubrication, friction length, amount of friction, positioning, etc were simply not even taken into consideration. That doesn't exist in the real world.
Condoms also do not--NOT--protect against STD transmission. Yes, they prevent the sperm from coming through but other bodily fluids can actually slightly pass through the condom's pores and into your body. If that wasn't enough, the outer sexual areas of your body can also come in contact with the other person's genital region, leading to the possibility of sexual disease transmission--condom on or not!
Simply put, don't believe the crap that using condoms makes everything safe and fun.
The only safe sex is no sex. Make your you and your partner are screened regularly. It has been proved that diseases and viruses can hide in the body for YEARS before being detected. Yes, mutual masturbation (getting fingered, giving handjobs) and oral sex (male or female) also spreads disease just as effectively.
Yes, people can and are born with STDs. They do catch them at a very young age (even in infancy, sadly, while mother is changing a diaper even) and can live with a disease their entire life, thinking the symptoms are normal human things.
Tampons also play a part in the desensitization of the inner vaginal walls. If you are a tampon user then you may want to strongly rethink your usage of the products. Tampons do a lot of harm to the female body that we tend to overlook and since they have been around more and more women have been losing vital sensations in their womanly areas and having harder times producing enough natural lubrication to keep things feeling good and happy. Tampons simply do not make your body happy--ripping little bits of flesh out of the vagina at each usage, soaking up the natural body lubrication that is made, and leaving bits of chlorinated material being on your walls (which just has some flesh removed from them--open wound, anyone?!).
Sex can be a very tricky thing.
Many, many women have sex and NEVER in their entire lifetime actually enjoy it, orgasm, or have a "feel good" time. Only 25-30% of women orgasm regularly from vaginal penetration (penis in vagina sex) alone. This being said, there are fairly good chances you won't ever have sex that feels "amazing" or anything that you imagine it should be.
Do your best to keep your body healthy and simply don't expect miracles at any point. That's all.
If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me!
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I want to know about this, but I don't want to do it. My boyfrind wants to though. Anywaysssss, when you have booty sex, :P, and the guy pulls his penis out.. Will there be.. "Stuff" on it?
And I don't mean cum, I mean.. Shitt, bahaha. (link)
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Fecal matter does get on and INTO the penis when engaging in anal sex. The penis is being forced into a hole that has fecal matter so it is obvious that some may wind up being shoved into the penis' little hole too.
Among the diseases with which anal sex is associated are HIV, anal cancer (seriously), typhoid fever, and various diseases associated with the infectious nature of fecal matter or sexual intercourse in general. Among these are: Amoebiasis; Chlamydia; Cryptosporidiosis; E. coli infections; Giardiasis; Gonorrhea; Hepatitis A; Hepatitis B; Hepatitis C; Herpes simplex; Human papillomavirus (HPV); Lymphogranuloma venereum; Pubic lice; Salmonellosis; Shigella; Syphilis; Tuberculosis. Using condoms will decrease these risks; however, they do not protect 100%.
Physical damage to the rectum and anus are serious and hemorrhoids, anal fissures, and rectal prolapse may occur. Damage is more likely if communication is poor or if technique is clumsy; condoms do not help protect against this sort of damage. Basically, if you don't know what you're doing or you end up doing something wrong by accident you may end up in the emergency room having surgery or stitches.
Small tears that can happen during anal sex can easily become infected. The membrane inside the rectum is VERY thin and fragile so it tears very easily. Even if there seems to be no complications the tears can be very irritating and can become inflamed later on. It doesn't matter how "gentle" your partner is, your will probably suffer some tearing and possibly even some bleeding. It can also become uncomfortable for you to pass a stool afterward.
It is also very easy to get a vaginal infection from anal intercourse if your partner enters the vagina after being in the anus because of the fecal matter that has been left on the penis. Even if he knows not to enter the vagina afterward, he may accidentally slip. The infection would be bacterial can actually do major damage to you--rendering you infertile. Really, anal sex is more likely to result in an infection than vaginal sex would.
As a note, the vaginal infection could be something simple like a yeast infection, but is usually a bacterial infection. If left untreated, these sorts of infections can cause serious problems later in life and can also render you completely infertile.
It's also common for urinary tract infections to occur after anal sex--in men and women. Yes, they are curable but they can become serious if left untreated and are, overall, rather uncomfortable to deal with. Condom usage would help your partner to avoid this complication but cannot protect against STDs or the above mentioned dangers associated with anal sex.
Incontinence has also been reported from engaging in anal sex. Basically this means that the anal sphincter loosens up from the activity. This also means that anal leakage can become an issue for the receiving end. It also may mean the inability to completely control your bowels when needed.
Many girls on here claim it hurts a lot. There really isn't a way to make it not hurt because it is endangering your body. Your body sends signals of pain because it is being HURT and you do not want to hurt your body. Serious problems come out of things like this--wanting to do something special with a partner and winding up on a hospital bed for a week while the doctor tries to sew them back together properly.
So, yes, the penis pushes into the anus and will ALWAYS have some feces on it when removed. The thrusting motions will help to push the feces into the small tube of the penis, where it may set up a nasty infection. This usually requires a hardy set of antibiotics to kill off the infection. With all of the thrusting going on (especially for couples who do not have much experience with anal sex) there is a good likelihood of anal, vaginal, and urinary tract infections for women as well.
Doesn't sound so good, does it?
If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me! :)
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So I'm 15, and pregnant. My mom says I can't keep the baby. She wants me to get an abortion, and at the most an adoption. But I couldn't bring myself to do either. She doesn't want me to keep it! What can I do?
I know it will be hard, and I don't have a job, but before it is born I will be old enough to get a job, and so will my very supporting boyfriend. It's tough, but I have supporting friends, a supporting family, and a supporting boyfriend. But she doesn't want me to have it :( what can I do? What can I tell her? (link)
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Keep your baby.
Your mother is not you. She will not be living your life 20 years down the road. She will not go through the trauma that is abortion.
Your baby is innocent. He/she didn't do anything wrong. Murder is for punishment, not for convenience.
Supply your mother with abortion information. She may not realize how damaging it is. She may realize it and be overlooking key aspects.
Here is some information to share with her (most of it is from previous questions I have answered, but all of it still applies really):
Abortion can really harm your body just as much as giving birth to a child. I understand her body may not be mature enough to handle pregnancy but no woman's body is truly ready to abort a fetus. A baby can deplete your body of nutrients (which is why pregnant women need to take their prenatal vitamins) but an abortion can leave you scarred physically and/or mentally.
Women who have had abortions can experience problems later on. Many women suffer from major depression for years after having an abortion because, in the end, they come to realize that they have completely stopped another human life simply for their own convenience. The dates of conception, abortion, and the estimated day the child would have been born haunts many women for years. Some woman can't deal with this so much that they end up committing suicide. If that isn't enough, many women experience difficulty conceiving years later after an abortion--yes, it can render you infertile for the rest of your days.
I found a VERY interesting site for teenagers on abortion. These girls had abortions when they were young and have gained courage to write about their experiences for other teens to read:
http://www.teenbreaks.com/abortion/abortionhome.cfm
I also want to direct you to a site that shows a live abortion. It's in different parts because the speaker gives you a lot of information on what the fetus and the mother will be going through. The video shows the ultra-sound as the procedure happens. It is important you see this before having an abortion ((and ultra-important that you share this video with your mother)) so that you know fully what will be happening--it is best to inform yourself well. Before clicking the link to watch the video, prepare yourself because it is real life:
http://www.silentscream.org/video1.htm
...Part 3 really starts to show the actual abortion happening. The speaker does add that the doctor that did the abortion never did another one and that the woman filming it never spoke about abortion again, though she was previously for it. The day they murdered this innocent baby, they realized the horror of their actions. You can plainly see why.
Yes, that is a real baby, really feeling pain and maybe even fear during such a procedure. You can see that it was fully aware that it was being harmed and was not oblivious to the foreign object as many people would like you to believe. The "silent scream" that the baby lets out is simply horrific--that poor baby!
Just as a note, some states will not perform an abortion past 4 months, most are done before the first 14 week mark. Abortions after 24 weeks are only performed because of health complications just as another note. The further along you are, the more expensive it will be. Here is also some information on how different types of abortions are done and what the baby is like during certain stages of development when these practices are performed.:
http://www.lifesitenews.com/abortiontypes/
Here are some REALLY, REALLY good videos that explain the different kinds of abortions:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QBOAPleF1t0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDj12ffvpgY
Abortion is also a very risky procedure for the mother of the fetus as well. The woman does not just pee out some blood and experience pain--the mother bleeds out the lining of her uterus as it contracts strongly to expel the fetus. The baby, placenta, umbilical cord, and the thick lining of the uterus will come out of the vagina. Even if the doctor suctions all of the "matter" out of the uterus, the woman will still bleed and may suffer some scarring in her uterus (preventing her from EVER being able to have children).
Many women have even DIED because of hemorrhaging, infections, and other complications. It's usually a very painful process for the woman and she is usually let in physical pain for days/weeks following. As another note, the woman usually bleeds for WEEKS after the abortion so it honestly isn't just a little blood in the urine.
Here is a super great website that has links to all sorts of abortion-related issues:
http://www.eadshome.com/AbortionUgly.htm
...and they even have a section (and a couple of links) of women who have passed away because of an abortion:
http://www.eadshome.com/AbortionDeaths.htm
http://www.prolife.com/marlas.htm
...I'm not kidding! MANY women are dying because of abortions:
http://www.revver.com/video/824430/daughter-died-in-abortion-procedure/
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1331962/posts
http://www.prolife.com/DEADWMN.html
"Think about the life the child now. Yes, you were selfish and did not consider this major consequence (pregnancy) but you don't have to be any more selfish than you already have been. Even if you're not able to give him/her the best life, someone out there can. When couples look to adopt, they tend to look for infants anyway. By taking this child's life and ending it before it even gets started, you destroy what chance they had at being something. The baby did not do anything wrong here and should not be punished by death."
I've also answered another question that is pretty much the same thing--the parents don't want the girl to give birth and hate the boyfriend--here is the information:
LINK: http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=559846
MY ANSWER: "I think you should keep your child. As you said, if you do not then you will regret it. Feeling that you will regret something long before you do it is a big sign that it isn't the wisest choice. Many women will say they will "never" have an abortion but one day wind up doing it--only to feel regret for their actions and wish they could take them back. I know you are not aborting (thank God someone has a brain!) but the same applies--you would be upset if you did it...so when you do it, you will regret it and when you hadn't.
Sit down and figure out what you are going to do once the baby comes. Are you going to complete high school or get your GED? If so, write that down. If you are going to completely high school then write down where the baby is going to be during classes, who is going to take care of it, etc. Do not list anyone down as taking care of the child before you have discussed it with them. If it's a daycare center then list out that you'll be getting a job (even write down where you will be applying) and about how much that job pays. Figure it out.
This entire exercise is to prepare you for adulthood in a matter of hours, if not days (it may take days to complete by the time you're done with calling around and whatnot). Set your entire life up. Try to center things around your own life--trying to NOT include your boyfriend if at all possible unless you two are getting married.
You don't want to include the boyfriend in things like this because your parents are probably thinking that he isn't going to be around much longer anyway. Your boyfriend may take it as an insult but, in the end, this is YOUR exercise you are doing. (He should be doing his own, by the way). If your boyfriend is going to be tending to the baby while, say, you are in classes then it's okay to mark that down.
So, once you have the entire thing explained then you need to bring it to your parents. Show them your paper and tell them that these are your current thoughts on the subject. Don't make everything set-in-stone in case your parents have questions that you haven't addressed yet. If they bring a question to the table that you have yet to think over then ask for time before answering--even if it feels like it's a simple answer. This is the rest of your life we're talking about.
A job is pretty much required at this point. If at all possible, pick up a job while pregnant and save that money (most women work through their entire pregnancy up until the last month or so). If you don't have a job then you're not going to be able to explain where baby items are going to come from (clothing, shoes, diapers, bottles and formula is you're not going to breastfeed--which you definately should breastfeed for the health of you and your baby & it saves much-needed money--etc.) and your parents are going to assume you'll be mooching off of them entirely.
Some things you should do:
Open a bank account and put your money into it to keep better track of finances.
Make sure to determine which doctor/hospital you would take the baby to in case of an emergency or illness.
Call everyone you need to before listing them on the paper (including daycare centers for fee pricing).
Confront you parents in a non-aggressive way. Simply sit down with them and your paper(s) and say, "I was thinking for this past week and this is what I've come up with. I know it isn't much and I know there are holes here and there...but I really think I can do this."
Everything feels like a big mess right now, I know, but things will settle down eventually. You can't really "forget" about being pregnant but it helps to look forward to the baby coming. It might ease your mind to figure out where the baby will sleep and read some books about pregnancy. Some good books you might want to check out from the library (or purchase online if available):
What to Expect When You're Expecting
The Pregnancy Book
Your Pregnancy & Newborn Journey: A Guide for Pregnant Teens
The Breastfeeding Book: Everything You Need to Know About Nursing Your Child from Birth Through Weaning
The Nursing Mother's Companion
The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding
The Ultimate Breastfeeding Book of Answers
The Breastfeeding Answer Book
The Breastfeeding Book
The Breastfeeding Cafe
Our Bodies, Ourselves: Pregnancy & Birth
The Official Lamaze Guide
Easing Labor Pain
Birthing from Within
Laughter & Tears: The Emotional Life of a New Mother
Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth
The Baby Book
By reading LOTS of books on pregnancy, breastfeeding, delivery, etc then you are preparing in multiple ways. You can look forward to things the books talk about. Instead of being frustrated, scared, and confused you will feel more at ease and happy to be experiencing all that is ahead. Your parents will also notice your take-up of the books, which may earn you a few brownie points.
The more books you pick up (even if they repeat things you've already read or don't sound as interesting) the more you're going to feel better about this entire thing. Educate yourself on EVERYTHING :)
Hang in there. This takes a lot of work but you can do it! If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me! :)"
Don't give up.
Don't give in.
Your mother is not living your life. Your mother will not have to deal with these consequences later on. This is your decision. Inform your mother what you learn about abortion, teen pregnancy, and anything else that relates. I'm behind you 100%.
You aren't alone.
Plenty of girls are in this same position. Afraid. Scared. Confused. Lost.
If I can help, let me know. Send me inbox "questions" if you have to (simply go to my column and click "Ask Peeps A Question!" I'm backing your decision to keep the baby.
It's a hard road to travel but it isn't impossible, it isn't unbearable, and you can definately make it through and hold your head up high when you're older, knowing you made the right decision by not killing your own child simply because you were young and afraid.
P.S. Just because you'll be looking for a job at 16 doesn't mean you'll have to resort to minimum wage jobs (by the way, for future information, McDonalds actually pays fairly well as far as fast-food goes--yes, above minimum wages). My sister got a job when she was 17 at a repo place. She started at the very bottom of the company--she's 30 now, at the same company (though she's moved to a different location) and making a NICE sum of money, being pretty far up in the company now. If you want long-term jobs then simply look for jobs that you can "move up" in later when you can/want. Finding a job when you're young simply does not mean finding something dead-end. I promise.
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Here lately, when i pee theres this really odd smell. It doesnt hurt or anything, but what is the smell? could it be an std?[i have no other symptoms of having an std and i dont even know if that is a sign] please dont just tell me to go to the doctors tell me what could be the cause of this? (link)
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Yeast infections are caused by a disruption in the balance of good bacteria in the vagina. Sexual intercourse, antibiotics, using too much soap, tampon usage, and even wearing tight clothing can all cause a yeast infection to occur. A yeast infection very well could be your problem, as it typically comes with a strange odor.
If you have never had one before and you suspect you do now, then you NEED to see your doctor for a proper diagnosis. From there, you can purchase over-the-counter medication such as Monistat from your local store. The 7-day treatment seems to be the best of the bunch. It comes with the medication, applicator, and instructions so you can do it yourself in privacy.
It is VERY important you see the doctor though because a yeast infection has the exact same symptoms of a bacterial infection (or bacterial vaginosis). BV infections are very, very harmful and end up rendering you infertile, and causing you severe pain for the rest of your life if left untreated. Women commonly misdiagnose BV with a YI, causing them heartache and physical pain years beyond then. Usually the only symptom women have of BV is a strange odor--sometimes not even that! The longer it's left untreated by a professional, the more damage it does.
While a UTI might be the issue, it's probably doubtful if you smell the odor more than in just your urine. Women have all three holes down there so close together that these things can easily spread infection from one to another and can be difficult to tell which one is the "infected" area. Self diagnosis is extremely difficult.
I hope you get yourself to the doctor to confirm your issue to be a yeast infection and all goes well with current treatment and preventative measures. Please see the doctor to make sure everything is okay and you won't be 10 years down the road, in pain, and unable to have children :(
If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me!
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I just want a second opinion on this.
I'm about to go off to college, so I am trying to not get too attached to my boyfriend of 2 months whom I will inevitably have to break up with some time soon. Anyways, we fool around a lot and sometimes he sticks his penis like halfway inside of me, and he doesn't move it, and I don't let it go in all the way. I still consider myself a virgin, because I think that sex is more physically and emotionally than having a penis half way inside of you. I don't consider what we do to be sex. And I still consider myself a virgin, even though he accidentally popped my cherry once by fingering me. Does anyone agree or disagree?
I just don't think I'm ready to be not a virgin, or to have sex with him, given I won't be able to be with him much longer. (link)
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It sounds like you're simply afraid of the thought of not being a virgin anymore even though you're not.
Losing your virginity doesn't mean you have to continue to have sexual relations. It doesn't mean that you have to tell anyone that you've lost your virginity either! Sex is personal and you can plead the fifth on anything you feel uncomfortable with (except doctors, who just need to know for health reasons, of course).
Having a penis inside of you--even just a little bit--means you've lost your virginity. Virginity is not an emotional thing. Virginity is actually very physical. Some people argue that if the hymen is intact then the virginity remains--you have no way "out" of this--you have had a penis inside of you (even just a little bit) and you've had your hymen broken.
It's time to deal with the phrase, "No longer a virgin." Like I said, it isn't scary as long as you keep your head on straight. You ARE no longer considered a virgin. If a doctor asked you if you are a virgin and you answered, "Yes," then you would be lying, even if it was unintentional.
Relax.
You've lost your virginity already. Your real answer is, "I'm not sure if I'm ready to CONTINUE having sexual relations with my partner. I am entering a new phase in my life and there seems to be pressure on having more sexual contact than I have been with him. What do you think?"
I think that you're second guessing yourself a lot on this. That coupled with the fact that you are dancing around having lost your virginity means that you probably shouldn't push the sexual contact any further. You sound like you're not ready for what sex fully entails.
Back off of the sexual play and be a teenager. There are plenty of bonding things you and your partner can do that does not involve sexual contact.
So, no...you are no longer a virgin...
but that doesn't mean you have to continue having sexual contact or having more sexual contact than you have been.
Be yourself. Don't give in to what your peers and the media is feeding you. Sex is not all it's cracked up to be anyway.
If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me! :)
P.S. Take some alone time and figure out why it's so scary to realize you've already lost your virginity. Lying to yourself doesn't make it come back. I know it can be something to regret but sometimes you have to deal with it and move on in life--no necessarily having more sex, but dealing with what has been done and learning from that experience in a mature manner.
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