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i dont know whether to abort or not
well im 19 yrs old and im pregnat im probably like 2 months my boyfriend doesnt want anything to do with me or the baby i talked to his mom and she said she would support me. i kno i could just abort and get ir over with it but im against abortion idk what to do.
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I know everyone says they dont think you should abort, I didn't , Im 4 months pregnant right now and 15.
But anyways, I think that it would be an incredible hardship in your life if you choose to raise this baby as a single mom. The baby would also have a lowlife father that doesnt want anything to do with him/her.
It's not ending a life, it's preventing one. Babies technically aren't babies until 14 weeks. That's why you can have an abortion up to 14 weeks pregnant.
Hope I helped :)
Do what feels right.
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Everyone deserve a chance at life. Dont' abort a baby just because you don't know how to handle it. seriously.
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I don't think you should abort.
I've heard countless times about women who abort that end up feeling physically and emotionally sick about the choice they made.
Talk with your parents and his parents and work out a game plan. If your boyfriend won't do anything, I guess it's nice that his mom wants to help and support you.
--Jack
(17/m)
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Do not listen to the person below me. They are suggesting that you watch a tv show for advice on how to handle a baby. TV shows are usually strictly fictional, and should not be intended for real life. HOWEVER, they do give a warning at the end of the show about teenage pregnancy.
I think you need to talk to your mother. Your mother can help you see other options besides abortion. You can always keep the baby, but then put it up for adoption once it's born. You could also just keep the baby to raise.
All 3 of the options are hard. Most women who adopt end up regretting it or feeling bad. Same deal for women who have abortions. As for keeping the baby, it takes a lot of willpower and struggle.
There are a lot of people you can talk to about this for support. Your family, your friends, your boyfriend's mom, and maybe you can even go to a group having to do with teen mothers.
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Don't abort the baby. Life is a precious gift and you shouldn't throw it away. Things may get hard, but you'll find a way to get through it. Try watching "The Secret Life of the American Teenager" on ABC FAMILY. The girl in that show is going through the same exact thing as you are going through now. She decided to keep the baby and she is getting along fine, and so will you.
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I think you should forget about everything else and just do what is in the best interest of the baby. If you're against abortion, than don't do it because it can cause a big emotional trauma. I suggest giving the baby up for adoption. There are a lot of older, well off families that are unable to have a child that are hungry to have a child in their lives, even if its not their own. You can try looking for such a family and getting to know them while you are pregnant, so you know that you are doing what is best for your child. They may even let you be part of the child's life, if that is something you want to do. I would really look into it.
~Maria, 18
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please dont do it. If you dont want to keep it at least give it up for adoption ya know? Think of your choices and who it will affect. I just highly suggest to not get an abortion.
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Like the person under me said 'keep it if you can afford it'
But also consider the fact that your child is going to grow up without a father and at some point she is going to ask you why her father left and when you explain to her that he didn't want anything to do with you, anything can go through her mind and something like 'she can blame you for it' or 'thinks her father didn't love her enough to come and see her' and so on ... And trust me this has a big impact on a child, or a teenager...
And no offense but 19 is not an enough experienced person to be a mother and no matter what you've been through, you're still 19, at least you should be past 21.
I mean think about it, it's going to affect your life too not just your child's life.
Imagine, your 21 and all your friends are going to a club or a bar, but you can't because you have to stay with your child or you can't afford a babysitter at the time, you never know what's going to happen on the next corner.
Maybe a thief is going to break into your house and steal everything, and your going to end up with financial problems and your going to make your child go through that too.
I suggest a husband or a boyfriend to be there for you and your child.
Good Luck =]=]
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If you can afford to support your child then why not keep it? It is YOUR baby too. The child is innocent and didn't do nothing wrong. If the boyfriend doesn't want the child and you don't either than why not at least give it the life it deserves and put it up for adoption? I think that would be the right thing to do. I don't believe in abortions at all.
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Keep your baby.
Your baby is innocent. He/she didn't do anything wrong. Murder is for punishment, not for convenience. Your baby is alive inside of you. He/she is comfortable and feels secure. He/she trusts "Mommy" to keep him/her safe--not to rip it's body apart out of fear of ruining the rest of your life.
Abortion is down right horrifying and I have the proof below!:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
In case you don't feel like opening that link, I will copy and paste the information into this:
"Abortion can really harm your body just as much as giving birth to a child. I understand your body may not be mature enough to handle pregnancy but no woman's body is truly ready to abort a fetus.
I know it comes down to your body, your life, and possibly even your mistake. I am truly only concerned for your well-being.
Women who have had abortions can experience problems later on. Many women suffer from depression after having an abortion because, in the end, they realize that they have stopped another human life. The dates of conception, abortion, and the date the child would have been born haunts many women. Some woman can't deal with this so much that they end up committing suicide. If that isn't enough, many women experience difficulty conceiving years later after an abortion--yes, it can render you infertile for the rest of your days.
I found a VERY interesting site for teenagers on abortion. These girls had abortions when they were your age and have gained courage to write about their experiences for other teens to read:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Most of them regret that they had an abortion. Many of them cannot get over that fact and have the dates stuck in their minds. I'm sure that when that date passes each year they are reminded of what they went through to rid themselves of a life they were developing inside of their wombs.
I also want to direct you to a site that shows a live abortion. It's in different parts because the speaker gives you a lot of information on what the fetus and the mother will be going through. The video shows the ultra-sound as the procedure happens. It is important you see this before having an abortion so that you know fully what will be happening--it is best to inform yourself. Before clicking the link to watch the video, prepare yourself because it is real life:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
...Part 3 really starts to show the actual abortion happening. The speaker does add that the doctor that did the abortion never did another one and that the woman filming it never spoke about abortion again, though she was previously for it.
Yes, that is a real baby, really feeling pain and maybe even fear during such a procedure. You can see that it was fully aware that it was being harmed and was not oblivious to the foreign object as many people would like you to believe.
Just as a note, some states will not perform an abortion past 4 months, most are done before the first 14 week mark. Abortions after 24 weeks are only performed because of health complications just as another note. The further along you are, the more expensive it will be. Here is also some information on how different types of abortions are done and what the baby is like during certain stages of development when these practices are performed.:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Here are some REALLY, REALLY good videos that explain the different kinds of abortions:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Abortion is also a very risky procedure for the mother of the fetus as well. The woman does not just pee out some blood and experience pain--the mother bleeds out the lining of her uterus as it contracts strongly to expel the fetus. The baby, placenta, umbilical cord, and the thick lining of the uterus will come out of the vagina. Even if the doctor suctions all of the "matter" out of the uterus, the woman will still bleed and may suffer some scarring in her uterus (preventing her from EVER being able to have children).
Many women have even DIED because of hemorrhaging, infections, and other complications. It's usually a very painful process for the woman and she is usually let in physical pain for days/weeks following. As another note, the woman usually bleeds for WEEKS after the abortion so it honestly isn't just a little blood in the urine.
Here is a super great website that has links to all sorts of abortion-related issues:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
...and they even have a section (and a couple of links) of women who have passed away because of an abortion:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
...as a note, MANY women are dying because of abortions:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
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[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Adoption is always an option of yours if you are not physically, mentally, or financially capable of caring for another human life. Please look into it if you feel you can carry the child but not raise it properly. You can contact an adoption agency in your area or you can relinquish your rights of your child and place it in the custody of the state for adoption. I've read something about Volunteers of America for adoptions being really good but I have no personal experience with them myself. Here is a link directing you to their site:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Just as another note, some agencies actually let the expecting party interact with possible parents to ensure they are giving their child the best chance at life as possible. You may want to look into those agencies to help find your child good, loving parents. It may even be possible for you to work out a way that you can still be in the child's life lightly as they grow so you're aware of their progress. The same goes for the opposite--there are adoption agencies that won't inform you of anything about the baby if you do not want to know more than that you were pregnant with it at some point.
Please know that abortion is not your only option. Please give yourself plenty of time to decide what is the best choice. Even if your parents are upset that you are pregnant they will eventually get over it. Some parents can be really hurt in the beginning that their son or daughter disobeyed but, in the end, they still love you. Many parents later realize that the unborn baby IS their grandchild and help their son or daughter to figure out how to raise the baby when it comes.
Please do not put your body through the mess that is abortion."
I think you should keep your child. As you may be thinking if you do not then you will regret it. Feeling that you might regret something long before you do it is a big sign that it isn't the wisest choice. Many women will say they will "never" have an abortion but one day wind up doing it--only to feel regret for their actions and wish they could take them back.
Relax and take everything in. This is you and your baby we are talking about. An abortion doesn't just last 20 minutes, an hour, three days, or one doctor's visit--it lasts the rest of your life. You risk being physically broken. You risk being mentally broken.
After being so selfish in this mistake (because sex when no prepared is selfish, you have to admit...) doesn't the baby at least deserve a chance? I think so...
Aborting isn't going to make everything magically better. Trust me.
There are plenty of young, single mothers out there making it. There are plenty of young women who have given up their babies to good people that were looking to adopt. There is hope for your child. You can do this without stopping another heart.
I hope that you take enough time to decide what choice is the best. My inbox is always open if you have questions! :)
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