about

Hi I'm Dee. I'm 23 and married. I've worked in health care as well as office settings but am now a home-maker. I'm knowledgeable in a variety of subjects but don't mind doing a little research if asked about something I don't know about. Most of my friends come to me for advice. I read several advice columns and would like to help you also.

I'm not judgemental. Your life is yours to live it as you choose. I believe asking for advice is good, but ultimately the choice is yours. You WILL NOT find a hurtful or smartass answer here.

If you have a question that you would like to keep private, you can email me and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.

advice

Hello. Im in love. Soooo....Ive told two of my close guy friends that I like him (they are pretty good friends with "him" too) and I've been hanging out A LOT with "him" this summer. Both of my guy friends say I should tell him I like him and one of them says that we "radiate" and guessed we liked eachother before I got the chance to tell him that the me-liking-him part was true. I get strong feelings that he likes me back a lot but at the same time i get insecure that he doesnt with some of his actions.

So....Summary:
I dont know if I should tell this guy or not that I like him. Dont guys make the first move? I really want something to happen but Ive had my heart broken before and I dont really want that to happen again. If he liked me wouldnt he be doing something?
Ive been hanging out with him for about 3 months but the whole crush thing started about a month ago.
THANKS FOR YOUR HELP!!!! YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST!!!

There's nothing wrong with the woman making the first move. Many time guys are interested but are afraid that you're not. Maybe he's shy. Since your guy friends your guy friends say he is interested and they would be in a position to know, I don't think you have to worry about getting turned down.

I know it's hard to trust a guy after being hurt before, but just take your time getting to know this guy before letting yourself get emotionally involved and I think you'll be fine.

Good luck with your crush. I wish you the best.

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I just recentely got out of a 10 month relationship, (Three weeks ago) but also just found somebody new. This new guy I'm pretty sure might ask me out soon, but the problem is he's a grade older than me. I know that's not much older at all, but my parents are very protective. I know that if he were to ask me out I'd say yes, but I don't know how to break it to my parents. I don't have the closest relationship with them when it comes to boys. Also, when my sister was a freshman like I am she dated a senior and they let her go out with him all the time. Don't you think it would be unfair if they didn't do the same for me? So how do you think I should break it to my parents?

I would just tell your parents that you found someone new that you'd like to date. If you're mature enough to keep a relationship going for 10 months, you're mature enough to date a guy one grade ahead of you.

Since they let your sister date a guy several grades ahead of you, I don't see where they should have a problem with you dating a guy closer to your age.

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So there's this boy named Jamie and all the girls have liked him. Well,lets just say a large quantity at one time or another.

He's not that hot but, he's cute and sweet and innocent and really funny. And he's a mormin so he just gained the ability to date in May when he turned 16 and went on his first date a couple weeks ago. Now I really like him, I mean really like him. Last year we were in a couple classes together last year and became okay friends not great ones but okay ones. But I don't look or act like a lot of the girls he hangs out with. So basically what I'm askin is how could we become closer without me being to obvious.


And please don't say just flat out tell him that I like him because we're going to be in at least one class together next year, I know he doesn't like me yet and I don't want it to be awkward.

I think the best thing to do is just sit back and wait for the dust to clear. You'll draw his attention simply by being different from all the other girls.

Good luck.

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I'm 15 and my sister is 14 and she cuts herself. I just found out like 45 mins ago bc she left me a comment on my xanga saying she has a career she was looking into but she didnt know how much it paid and she wouldnt tell me what it was so I figured that maybe she searched it up on the search bar. When I checked the search bar history I found a bunch of stuff about "I cut myself" and "I cut myself and a friend wants me to stop" and such. Then, since it's late at night and she usually is in the basement at night, I tried to sneak downstairs but she caught me.
Well she started casually talking to me and asking me why I was downstairs and I looked at her arms and saw they were bloody and I almost started crying but then I mentioned how I found the articles and started asking her about it and she just smiled goofily and I looked at her arms and saw all these scars I saw before but never thought of as cutting herself just from cats. And I said "why would you do something so stupid, whos your friend" and she said "dont tell anyone, it doesnt matter, you used to cut yourself" (which I briefly cut my wrists for 3 months last fall, it was a dumb mistake and I even told her that I only did it because I thought it would make my problems go away but it never helped) and she just tried to play it off as a huge joke, and said dont tell anyone, its not a big deal. But it was! These weren't little puny cuts they werent to big but not puny! She said she doesnt tell ppl about them (xcept that friend) but thats why she wears hoodies all yr.

I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO! I want to tell my parents but I dont want her to get mad. I really want to tell my best friend but she's not online and I'm just confused. This is my baby sister and I dont want her hurting herself. I asked her why she was doing this to herself and she didnt have a clearcut response but argh.

Please help. I really need some guidance on this I'm very confused.

Since she was doing research on cutting, I would take that as her realizing that she does have a problem and admitting she needs help. Tell your parents immediately what's going on so they can get her the help before she seriously harms herself. She may get mad at you now but she'll get over it once she realizes you saved her from herself.

You can also call 1-800-DONT-CUT. The number is toll free. It's an information line on self-abuse that offers referalls to support groups around the country.

A good information source on self-injury can be found at the following site. I think you'll find the family/friend section helpful.

http://www.palace.net/~llama/psych/injury.html

Good luck. I wish you and your sister the best.

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Hey. I have no idea how to spell Ouijji board so just bare with me. lol. okay well i was wondering i play the ouiji board with my friends & its pretty freeaky. Like some things we asked actually came true and it seems so real. Does anyone know if its actually spirits or Our minds?? Has anyone had freaky experiences with them?? & do you think its safe to play it? thx tonsz' xOx

I think a lot depends on what YOU believe. If you believe in the board, then chances are it will seem very real to you. On the other hand, someone firmly rooted in science and reality would say it's all just entertainment.

It's possible that what you asked was going to come true anyway and it was a simple coincidence that the board said it would. I've also found that most people take the board as a joke and sometimes make the thing move simply to get a rise out of someone.

Our minds are powerful sensory organs that often make us believe the unbelievable. Think of someone in a desert seeing a mirage. Even though you know it's just an illusion, to them the mirage is very real.

I have played with the board before but nothing freaky happened since my friend's mother came in and upon seeing what we were doing told us we shouldn't play with things we didn't understand and then took it away.

If you believe the board's message is spirits, to you it can seem to be very real and I would suggest using caution.

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okay. so, i have this problem.. this is going to be kinda long but i really need help! i get REALLY embarrassed really easily. people could just look at me the wrong way and my face turns BRIGHT red! and it takes a while for it to go completely away (not like 10 minutes..but like 20 seconds) but when you are embarrassed it feels like FOREVER!! but the thing is, i don't know if this is normal or not, because of how extreme it is. i mean, i can't even look people in the eyes without turning red. i always feel that i am being judged, and i am so insecure! but i hate it so much, it holds me back soo much! i can't even be myself around anyone because of my face turning red. it makes me feel like such an idiot! i need help. like how can i stop it? do you think i have a problem where i would need to take medicine or something to make it go away!? because EVERYTHING embarrasses me! i even get embarrassed when i am talking on the phone and i say something and the other person laughs. even when people are laughing WITH me and not AT me i get embarrassed, so needless to say when people laugh AT me i am totally humiliated!! HELP!!!!!!!!

Blushing is something you can not control. Medicine will not help it either I'm sorry to say. I wouldn't worry too much about it since a lot of people find it cute.

Try to figure out what is causing your insecurity. Have you had a bad experience in the past? Not everyone is a jerk about stuff. When people laugh at something you say, do you feel they're laughing at you? Maybe they just love your sense of humor. Once your know the cause of the insecurity, you can find a solution.

There's not really a solution for being easily embarassed other than try to remember that
1) You're most likely not the first person to do what you did or say what you said. and
2)Chances are most people won't even remember it a week later.

Since it seems to me that you're very insecure and do have a severe problem of getting embarassed easily, you might try counseling. The counselor can help you get to the root of the problem as well as help you work through to the solution.

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Long one get ready for it-

So I was out with a group of friends at a party and I had to wait for someone outside so I'm waiting and all of a sudden I hear the door slam and there's this guy Adam, and his friends locked him out of the house. So we sat out there for like twenty minutes talking waiting for his friedns to let him back in. And he was pretty cool, so after the party I'm standing with my friend Callie, Adam asks one of us to call him to see if his cell's working I don't have one so Callie does. They trade numbers and she eventually gets a crush on him(this is over 2 months or so). But then he tells her he's gay & of cousre she tells me, so they became just friends.

Then apparantly a month ago there was this girl and she "turned him straight." And now he's telling Callie he likes me, in her words "serious relationship likes you." And I don't know what to do. He's cool and all, but I'm not quite sure about the whole once gay thing, he claims he's not bi either. And also since he's not gay Callie seems to be a little jealous.... WHAT SHOULD I DO???

Oh yeah and I'm a fifteen year old doll.

It's normal for teenagers to question their sexuality. Most of the time it's not acted on and the guy or girl just moves on from it.

Rather than hurt your friendship, I would suggest neither you or Callie date this guy unless you can get past any jealousy issues. If Callie says she doesn't mind and you feel you would be comfortable in a relationship with this guy, I see no reason why you shouldn't go for it. If you have reservations, either because you don't think he's made up his mind or because you think it might hurt your friendship with Callie, I would wait before making a decision.

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I have two sisters, I am the middle child(im a girl) one sis is 16, the other is 11(i'm 14). I try to get along with them, but they annoy me a lot. My older sister is bossy and thinks she can tell me what to do, and the younger one is a brat who always gets her way. My older sister is really smart, drives, and has a job, so my parents dont think she can do anything wrong. And my little sister is"the baby", so ... well ya know. It's not that i feel like i need more attention, thats not the problem. The problem is i cant do anything with my aunts or cousins without one of them coming with me. I try to tell them and my parents i wanna do something on my own, but they say that having two sisters is something i have to deal with. I spend time w/ my friends, but thats not enough. I cant do ANYTHING on my own, nd ive tried talking to my parents. WHAT SHOOD I DO ??? I'll rate highhh!!!!

Try finding activities that your younger sister is too young for and your older sister won't be interested in. While your parents are correct in saying that this is a trial of having sisters, they should realize that personal attention is also needed.

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I was on the 7th and 8th grade basketball team for middle school and I got alot of playing time but I dont think Im that good. I dont thin i should tri-out for high School my school is really into basketball and i just want to have fun. I like basketball but i dont thin its my sport i think volleyball is. I dont kno if i should do both or just vollball? what should i do

Go with what you enjoy. Twenty years from now no one is going to remember which people played a specific sport anyway.

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Ok well, theres this guy I really like...And weve dated before but then we were just really close...Then I guess you could say we became friends with benefits...The only thing is, we havent had sex...We just have oral sex or he fingers me and stuff...Anyway, I wanna have sex with him, its just that Im afraid that somehow my mom will find out, and of course the chance of gettin pregnant...Other than that Im ready and all...But another thing is that my period hasnt been regular...Like, it was a little bit ago, but now sometimes I go without it for 2 or 3 months...Which the last time he fingered me was in May, and I havent had my period since then...Could that affect it?...And do you think that since its not regular that I shouldnt have sex?...Because I know you miss it when you get pregnant, so Im not sure how I could tell or not if I dont get it...Sorry its so long...But any advice will deff. be appreciated!!! I rate..

I doubt that simply having oral sex or fingered will have an effect on your period. However, there is a small possibility that you could get pregnant if some of his sperm finds it's way inside you. Since your period is irregular, I would be careful having sex since you have no way of knowing when you're ovulating. If you do decide to have sex, definitely use protection.

Short of taking a pregnancy test, there's not really a way to tell if you're pregnant. Do you have any other symtoms of pregnancy? Morning sickness (doesn't just happen in the mornings, mine hit in the mornings as well as late at night), frequent need to pee, appetite changes, cravings, more tired than usual, weight gain, breast tenderness, and more emotional than usual are all signs.

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Okay, so my best friend "Christina" and I both have pasts that deal with suicidal type things. She was in a mental hospital earlier in the year, and when she came out she promised to stop cutting or try to call me whenever she felt like that, and I promised the same to her. About a week ago, my grandmother died, and the other day I got a call from her, saying she was going back into the hospital. I asked her why she didn't tell me and she said she wanted to give me time to "mourn." I feel like she doesn't trust me as much as she says she does, and I don't know what to say to her, because I'm hurt that she wouldn't talk to me and I'm scared that she's gonna hurt herself too badly someday, and I don't know what to do to help her anymore. Any advice on what I should say when I talk to her next? (Sorry this is so long)

Since she's voluntarily going into the hospital, she is getting help. Perhaps she was worried that her problems on top of your grandmother's death would be too much for you. Be supportive of your friend. When she gets out of the hospital, remind her of your promise to be there for her if she gets to the point of needing help again and tell her it applies no matter what else is going on in your life.

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hey. well this might be confusing so i'll apologize now. in novemeber of last year my aunt got married. i hated my new uncle. i know, thats rude but its also true! i loved my aunts old boyfriend .. he was great! they were going out for 6 and a half years! he was so funny too but then they broke it off. then my aunt met this other guy who she is now married too. he's okay i guess but hes such a freak! he totally changed the relationship between me and my aunt. before they met eachother me and my aunt were best friends!!! now we cant even have a simple convorasation with out him standing there & making sure everythings appropriate.

heres a little about him:
- hes a Church freak ( i guess theres nothing wrong with that .. )
- we have to listen to religious music ( and since he wont let me listen to B96 or KissFm .. i asked if i could listen to country music and he said 'no!! if you want to listen to that sh*t .. get ur own ride!' )
- he wouldnt take me and my grandma to fannie may because he said 'Jesus didnt sacrafice his life so people could waste their money over the stupidest f*ckin things!'
- we have to pray before every meal.. even if were in public. this one time my sister started eating before we prayed and her punishment was she had to say the prayer , she couldnt eat her lunch ; and for the rest of the month she had to go to church 3 days a week.
- he treats me and my sister like were 3
- he wont get cable for the same reason he wont take us to fannie may

what should i do about it? i cant talk to my aunt about it because i know she'll get so mad. how can i learn to like him? please answer.. ill rate high for good answers!!

love,
I HATE HIM!!

From what you said, I assume that you live with your aunt. Try talking to her calmly when you're alone with her. Tell her that you miss the closeness you had before her marriage and would like to occasionally spend time with just her. Let her know you don't feel fully comfortable with your uncle and explain why without sounding like you're accusing. I know that sounds hard but try to be tactful since it is her husband. I doubt that your aunt will get mad if you bring the issue up calmly and tactfully.

I don't really think you can learn to like him unless you truly want to. Try simply staying out of his way and tuning him out whenever possible, as long as it won't get you in trouble.

As for the music, try using a headset and listening to what you want if you can without getting in trouble. His issue with non-Christian music may be that he simply does not want to hear it. If you have headphones on, he can't hear it.

Praying before a meal is not necessarily a bad thing. If you're not religious or simply find it offensive to be forced to pray, I would simply bow my head and tune him out. Unless he can read minds, it's unlikely he'll ever know that you're not praying. The punishment for your sister was a bit heavy-handed I think but that's just my opinion. Maybe she was just really hungry.

Hopefully once he realizes that you and your sister are mature, he'll lighten up on the strictness.

I wish I could offer more to help. Good luck.

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I'd like to be an advice columnist at my high school, even though this will be my first year i have been advice columnist before and i got good review before, but who do i need to talk to to start a Secretive advice column? and how do i convince them to let me be an advice columnist? and also, what should i bring (kinda like props) to show (whoever i am showing) that i get good review from answering question previously...

please help. i rate 5 even if you only help a little but no making fun or anything like that, then i report.

If your school has a school newspaper, there would be the best place to start. Talk to the editor of the newspaper or the advisor (usually a teacher or other faculty member) and ask them about writing an advice column for the paper.

Give them solid reasons why your advice column would be good for the newspaper. Examples such as good for student life (since it helps them deal with common issues) or even just common interest (people love to read an advice column and wonder about the person who writes it as well as the person who wrote in for advice).

Bring the top 5 examples of your best advice-the ones that are clearly written, answer the question fully, and are tactful and caring. Good examples of feedback that you've received from advice given will help too. Try not to use the ones that just say thanks. The ones that say "Thanks. You give great advice and really helped." are best.

Ask if they will consider your advice column on a trial basis with the editor or advisor having approval of what's written. If they don't agree, thank them for their time and ask if they will consider discussing it again at a later time.

Before you meet with the editor or advisor, sit down and write out what you might say. Think of possible objections they may have and try to come up with possible solutions. This will allow you to collect your thoughts so you can give the most well-thought-out convincing discussion.

Good luck. I wish you the best.

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does anyone know some good HTML sites?

WILL RATE.

This site offers an interactice tutorial on writing HTML.
http://www.davesite.com/webstation/html/

This site offers information, tutorials, hands-on exercises, and even a quiz on HTML.
http://www.w3schools.com/html/

This site offers articles, helpful links, a forum if you have questions, style tips, reference guides and HTML tools
http://www.htmlhelp.com/

A chart of common HTML codes can be found at this site.
http://www.web-source.net/html_codes_chart.htm

I hope these help.

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how long does it usually take for something ordered off the grattan website to get to you? because i ordered some clothes and i would like to get the before i go on holiday (on the 14th august).

It should arrive within the week. They also offer next day delivery in some areas as long as you order before 5 pm. If you just placed the order, try calling customer service and asking if you can get next day delivery.

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im 17/f me and my boyfriend have been dating for 7 months and about a month ago he broke up with me cuz we fight too much. that lasted about 2 hours and we got back together. last night i broke up with him because i never see him....he chooses everything else over me. we both said it wouldnt be a permanent thing but now 12 hours later, i want him back. i told him this and he said its too soon and we should just wait it out but i cant live without him. im not suicidal so dont say anything about that but i love him so much and i dont want to just wait it out...WHAT DO I DO? HOW CAN I GET HIM BACK?

Try getting to the root of why you fight so much. Since your boyfriend said it's too soon, maybe he's working on how he can correct the problem or simply giving you time to make sure it's not just the post-breakup blues talking.

Take this time apart to see if you can come up with solutions or compromises to your problems as a couple. That way, when your boyfriend says it is time, you have already taken care of the issues that broke you up in the first place.

I know it's hard but you can't push your boyfriend into taking you back if he says it's too soon. Just let him know your love for him is still strong and talk to him about how you can improve the relationship once you get back together.

Good luck. I hope it all works out for you.

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Im 13. Female.
My brother is so disgusting. He's 19 .. almost 20 and he NEVER flushes the toilet *we share a bathroom* After he shaves he leaves all the little hairs all in our sink. He farts in public and burps randomly. Ive talked to my parents about this but he ignores them when they tell him to stop!
What should I do. Hes so disgusting!!

Simply remind him that if you find his behavior rude that potential dates will most likely also find it rude. At 19, he's most likely interested in the opposite sex and letting him know that girls find it a turn-off may be all that's needed to make him change his ways.

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my best friend who i love like a sister ran away today to MY house! i told her to go back. but she wouldnt. finally i got her to call her dad and then a police officer came to pick her up and bring her home. now her mom and dad hate me because they think i told her to come to my house. i wasnt expecting her at all!! one minute i was talking to her on AIM then her away message said out. wont be back any time soon. then i heard a knock. but how can i get *especially her mom* to like me again? HELP! any useless answers will recieve a 1. any good answers will recieve a 5.

I would simply tell her parents, in person or in a well-written tactful note, that you love your friend and were simply trying to protect her. Let them know that you DID NOT say she could hide at your house and that you WERE the one that convinced her to go back home. If she'd just ran away without going to your house, she could have ended up in the hands of some not nice people.

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i am trying to go on a diet and it works for a day then the next day i totally pig out! then i regret it and the process starts over! does anyone have any dieting tips?

It sounds like you're either making too much of a change in your diet, you're simply not eating enough or you're not sure how to fix foods that keep you full without adding fat.

Try simple changes and work your way up. One week, try cutting out fried foods. Once you get used to that, move up to eating more veggies. Taking it in slow steps will help you stick with your diet.

Use portion control and avoid seconds rather than calorie counting. It's easier to stick to something that is simple.

Simply switching to low-fat alternatives will help a lot. Eating lots of low-fat dairy has been proven to help speed weight loss as well as keep the weight off.

If you're not eating enough, try to stay within a healthy calorie range. Eat several small meals a day to keep from getting hungry. Snack on negative-calorie foods as much as you want. They burn more calories digesting than they have in them to begin with. These include apples, asparagus, berries, broccoli, zucchini, pears, cucumber, celery, and many other foods.

There are several diet foods on the market-Lean Cuisine, Weight Watchers, Healthy Choice, Lean Pockets, Michelina's Lean Gourmet, etc. Try replacing just one meal a day with one of the pre-packaged meals. They're often cheaper than a fast-food meal ($2-5 depending on what kind and where you get it)and provide a healthy meal wihtout added fat and calories.

Good luck with your diet.

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hi i need help im not spposted 2 date untill im like 20 !! so shud i date behind my parents bac????

I wouldn't suggest going behind your parents back since chances are they will find out anyway and just get stricter. Talk to your parents and see if they will consider letting you go on group dates or double dates. They may simply not feel comfortable about you being on a date online since sometimes people are pushed into things they're not ready for yet, like sex. By offering a compromise, you're getting to date while they're not worried about you being alone on a date.

P.S.-Once you're 18, it's your choice and your parents can't really have a say-so in whether you date or not.

Good luck.

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