about



I am straight to the point, My advice is given based on my opinions of what YOU write. I may not always tell you what you want to hear but I am not here to sugar coat shit.

I am honest, I am blunt, At times an asshole but one thing I can promise, I'll never lie.













advice

My boyfriend and I have been together for about 9 months now,I keep finding so many old pictures when I am on his laptop searching for OUR pictures and it makes me nauseous. They briefly lived together for about 5 months and were dating for almost 2 years. Before that he has had multiple relationships, but he tells me I'm the one.. why do i find that hard to believe he may have told the others the same. He is my first everything and I am 21 years old, he is 24 years old. How do I know hes the one for me because he was my only one? I'm envious that he and his ex even moved in together but he told me she was crazy.



Talk to him


Let him know that you came across some old pictures on his laptop while you were looking for photos if you and him tigether. Then let him know it makes you uncomfortable. See what he says, if he becimes defensive then he is not over his ex...

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I am 14/f. My best friend ( we will call her Jane) is being abused at home. We have told the counselors about it and i went with her for support. The woman who is abusing her is her dads girlfriend of 6 years who is still married to her ex husband. She is the one who is abusing her. She leaves deep nail marks that draw blood all over Jane's arms and neck> SHe drags her around the house by her hair and throws her around. It has made her head bleed. After we talked to the counselor, Jane was deathly afraid to go home. She was scared that her dad's gf would find out that she told. Long story short, she went home to a house full of enraged adults. Her parents called her a little sh** and carried her off the ground by her hair. She went up to the counselor today and told her and the social worker that everything was perfectly fine, but i knew that it wasn't, so i went and told the counselor everything that Jane had told me after she went home that day. Now she's really mad at me. She says she just wants everything to go away but i know that it wont just up and disappear. How can i help her? i cant just do nothing and watch my friend suffer.




Jane needs to take picture of her injuries and go to the police. You are a great friend for supporting her. You can let your parents also become aware of the situation. Talk to your friend and let her know that it is okay to tell, she needs too tell.

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I'm 19and I have a 20 year old boyfriend and all he wants to do is haw sex with me. I dont want to have sex with him but he sometimes put's his hand on my thigh and starts touching me and he grabs my hand and puts it on his dick which I don't mind but it is when he sends naked pictures of me to his mates and they all want a bit I love him but I don't want him to take anymore pictures but I can't stop him.
Sort of dont know what to do!




I 100% agree with Rahzie on this one

Dump him


This guy has completely disrepected your privacy. He takes your pictures and exploits them to your friends. Its this simple, You never show anyone anything you do not want the world to see. Your photos could end up on the internet, be sent to friends of friends and god knows. You stop sending photos, end the releationship.

This man is abusing you and putting you in dangers way. It is not sexy, cool or okay.

Learn your lesson and move on he is bad news

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I’m a sophomore in a huge college and I'm having a really hard time. My best friend since middle school, who’s also my roommate, has changed so much that it’s clear we probably won’t hang out at all after this semester, the only guy I’ve ever had any sort of intimate relation with just withdrew and I’ll never see him again, and my only other friend is dropping out after this semester. It's hard right now, but I can't imagine what it'll be like next year when I literally don't have anyone. I’m really shy and awkward and I have really low confidence, and even in high school seeing the same people every day in school, it was hard for me to make friends. I feel like I have nobody to talk to. Recently I’ve realized that crying in my room every night was only going to make me more sad, so I went to the activities fair and plan on maybe joining this one club, even though the thought of that terrifies me and I'm not sure how much it'll even help. I still think about how with my personality, the chances of me finding a friend group to fit into (as a sophomore, when people have already established their groups and no one really cares about making new friends) are very low. I've been trying to distract myself so I'm not so sad, but you can only keep yourself busy for so long, especially when you don't have anyone to keep you company.
I know it's a lot but I guess I'm asking:
- How do I make friends in college, as a painfully shy sophomore? I never know what to say in conversations.
- Even if I do find a "friend" in class or in a club, like someone I make small talk with every once in a while, how do I turn that into a real friendship without seeming pushy or desperate?
- General tips on being more confident, more outgoing, stopping the sadness when you start to feel it coming, etc.?
- Comforting words just to make me feel better? (:
Sorry it's so long but thanks so much for reading and/or responding.



I have a nasty combo of selective mutism/ Depression

I am 27 years oldand I have no friends and all too many times can't socialize with someone for more then 10 minutes.

Now, Sometimes as uncomfortable as we are or become we need to take situations with a grain of salt. If you find yourself in a situation where

Smile when you see someone start with simple small talk (Hey how are you today? Like the shirt) be friendly and opening to s conversation. If there are clubs then try joining one. Find something that interest you. Being friendly will open up the door to friends anf sometimes in order to make these friends we need to come out of our shell a bit.

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I'm a 13 year old girl, and the boy is 14 years old. I've dated him before and he was really really sweet but he is on the chubby side, I usually don't date chubby boys. My friends said that he was talking about how he was going to ask me out this Friday but idk. I don't want to hurt his feelings because he's like the big brother I've never had. Should I go out with him?

You are juding him?

If you go around with the attitude that he isn't good enough because he is on the heavy side then sweetie you are going to have a hell of a time finding someone when you are a bit older.

Just to put it out there, dating someone is not about how they look. You have the wrong idea here.
Dating is about finding someone that makes you happy. Their personality and whether they are right for you. No, it is not about who finds the 'model' body. If this boy is nice too you and you enjoy talking too him then what is the problem?
If your friends make comments about someones weight and how you should not date the person then maybe these are not real true 'friends'. This boy has feelings just like you and everyone else has, he is a person. Turning someone down could be missing something great and you will never know if you turn down everyone that isn't Justin Beiber. Don't judge people...

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Umm so I've fingered myself before and it feels great but I would like to know what kind of things I can use at home to make the pleasure better?



Using objects that do not belong up there can inctease the risk if infections. It is also possible you could tear or cut yourself during the process.

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Hi,

My husband talk to her ex finance(also married), and I am totally fine with that, but he writes following things, i want to know , should I be worried?
-“hey gorgeous, how you doing? “then caries on with normal conversation.
-“good night gorgeous”
-She was sad for some reason and we live in different countries , so he wrote – “God loves when u smile. lot of people in far corners of the world feel better wen u do and post such pics online”
-“btw was watching some of your other pics ... you are a star babe ... really ... ssssuperstarrrrr”

Btw, if you are wondering how I got this, I accidently bumped into his FB message.. honest to god!


Obviously your husband is still hung up on her, his conversations with her go beyond appropriate.

This woman is married and so is your husband. Why abd exactly what is the reason he is in contact with this woman? If no children are involved then there is no excuse period. 'Friend' doesn't cut it, its a bullshit excuse to have the best if both worlds. You have been far to leaning to be exceptional to his contact with a woman he was going to formerly marry. I would be a bit concerned as his conversations raise valid concerns. Fact is he married YOU and should be focused on your married not his ex. Your husbands actions are dishonest.

Yes you have every reason to be a little pissed

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im 20 and he is 22. we have known each other for 6 years and dated on and off. we have been together now for almost a year. we live together now. as of lately though im not "lovey-dovey" i usually don't wanna cuddle or have sex or even kiss. what does this mean? i do love him, but maybe we aren't meant to be. i want to talk to him about this but im afraid he will get upset. what should i do?




Sounds like you may of fallin out of love.

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My boyfriend and I are both in our early twenties, and I am looking for a great gift for him. The two of us have been together for almost two years, and this is the first year that I am getting anything for this specific day. Usually I get him really cool sports-related gifts, since that, Magic: The Gathering, and World of Warcraft are his main interests; for example for his birthday last July I purchased him Yankee tickets and we saw them play on Labor Day... he absolutely loved it.

I am extremely nervous right now since all I got J (my boyfriend) a white-and-pink teddy bear for Valentines Day, so far. The main reason is because I wanted to see my man's reaction when he saw that his girlfriend got him a very girly teddy bear, since I know that he has higher expectations from me... it is meant to be a gag gift. I was thinking of something sexy, like condoms – since he always says that he wants to use them and we never do... the two of us cannot afford a baby right now. But at the same time, I do not want for J to be like, “So first of all, she got me a girly teddy bear... now she buys me condoms... and what's this, a coupon book?” (I really like that idea for him, since as a young couple we are both highly sexual.)

Either way, I would really like to get my boyfriend a very hot and naughty gift. When I was looking at cosmopolitans list of sexy gifts, one of the suggestions was a panty-gram. I would really like to do something like that... but I keep thinking, women's underwear (even if there is a naughty message from me inside) and a pink and white teddy bear – what is he going to think? In my opinion, my J is very masculine and I just want to make him laugh... I do not want to make him feel insecure about my opinion of him.

Another issue is that I do not have much money, I am a college student and the only income that I have right now is from work study (and peer mentoring, which I will not have many hours for this semester). What are some suggestions for me to make up for the pink and white teddy bear gag gift?

While I sincerely do appreciate everyone's advice, I would really like it if a man between the ages of 21-30 responded to this question.


Okay my advice us going to be a bit ...well, honest.


People say its the thought that counts yes, while that may be true I tend to think slong the terms of something they will like. A pink teddybear is not really something I would give a guy. Maybe go with a gift card to his favorite restaraunt along with a card and a box of candy. A teddybear is not something you can really use and would most likely sit on a shelf. Maybe it would be cute as a gift for the girl but not the guy...

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My daughter is 11 years old.She has been a healthy and happy kid.For about two days,i noticed the following things in her:
1)Sudden loss of appetite.
2)Mood swings.
3)I caught her crying at night.
4)She even cant sleep at night.
5)Act like being scared.
Please help me.Her cute jokes and laughs were gone.She looks very small like of her age.



This is something that should be discussed with a family doctor or a therapist. It sounds like possible depression or emotional issues. Have you tried talking to her? There is not much we can say as we are not doctors but something may of happened or it could very well be the beginning of puberty.

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i am 13, live in PA , i use to live in Giorgia i was raced there i was born in new Mexico thow
im a girl

ok well this one girl ill call her Julie( not real name) an i were in girl scouts together she draped out of girl scouts her little sister stayed but we were friends and her mom broke up with there step dad and they had no were to go say they moved in with my family and she changed she went from cool and understanding to spoiled brat, and a jerk . i love art right well i did these clay roses they look almost real she needed a thing for school to give to her friends but wile i was asleep she stole my roses and gave them to her friends then her best friend that lives not from my house came over and she started saying lies about me to her friend then Kay ( we call girl 2 that ) said don't be so mean Julie and then Julie tried to make Kay pick being my friend or hers and that made Kay up set she didn't wanna have a choice she wanted to be friends with the both of us then Julie moved out 6 mouths later thank god so i when up the street to see if Kay was home we hung out now the to of us are bff i have always had it easy to get friends but some things different since i moved 4 years ago i mean i use to jest say hi and i had a new friend now its a lot harder

why does Julie hate me !!



You see, sometimes we don't truly knie people until we live with them.

Julie could be acting out due to her mothers split with the stepdad. Perhaps she has anger built up?

There could be many reasons and you should talk to her about how you feel. She may be influenced by her friends as well.

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So I been with my boyfriend for nearly 6 months now. It was amazing at start, I couldn't ask for more.
But then, the problems started. I just don't seem to care about him like I used to. I don't love him anymore. Then again, I didn't really love him, I just loved the fact I got a boyfriend. His every action disgusts me more and more.

The huge problem here is that, he very much loves me. I'm quite scared if I do breakup anytime soon, he might become a stalker or hurt someone.

Is there a way to breakup with him, to ensure he doesn't become crazy? Provoke him to breakup with me maybe? I been thinking about telling a lie that I had slept with someone else. ....I just don't know, I'm confused and scared about this..



If you fear for your safety then you should bring someone you trust along with you. Telling a lie like that could instigate the situation and set him off. Appearently you feel threatned by your relationship, This alone is a reason to get out.

If also possible you could just leave the relationship. Stop calling, text and talking to him. End it

If you live with him then definately bring someone with you. Let them know you fear for your safety and why. Once you end it you do not contact him

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how do i babysit for a week and get paid 1000 dollars i really need the money for a laptop jk buti need it fora car i got they other thousand


In this economy no one is going to pay you 1000 to watch a child gor a week. Certified home daycare folks do not even make that much in a weeks time.

If you are old enough to drive then you should be old enough to look for a job...

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I'm sick if her. She was a really good friend to me. But then, she started showing me her true colors and being a bitch. She manipulated people then back-stabbed them, but everyone still falls fall her tricks. I tried telling some of my friends what she really did to them but in the end they still believed her and called me a liar and a bad-mouth-er. I saw it with my own eyes how mean she was and how selfish she was. She expected everyone to go her way and always pushed the blame to someone else when she did something wrong. Just because she's cute and popular everyone sticks to her. I'm sick of all these and I just want to let everyone know what an ass she is. But I'm afraid history will repeat itself. What should I do? Or should I just stay low and let them have their own retribution? I feel sad when I see them being tricked by her. I'm in a dilemma so HELPPPPPP!! :(



Be the bigger person and walk away. Retaliating afainst her will only look bad and cause more problems for you.

You found out she is a bitch and in time they will too. Time to make new friends, let the drama ones go.

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I recently met a guy... things were intense. We connected on a deep, emotional level from the beginning. We hung out three days in a row, and I felt so comfortable with him. He ended up spending the night after our third date. Things were so natural and unpretentious from the start.

I am in limbo with my masters program though. I am on the verge of being dismissed, and he knows that... I was stressed about it and we talked it over. I was even stressed after he spent the night. But things were so easy and natural for us. I have never had such a deep connection with another guy before, it felt so amazing.

So fast forward to today, when I texted him:

Tonight, i texted him to see what his plans are for tomorrow. He said he might meet with a friend then asked what i am doing tonight. I told him plans for tonight fell through, but I could meet for a bit before he headed out to some party. He told me he was working but would let me know how he felt. Then texted me later on saying he was going to take a nap before heading to an all night party. SO.... I texted back asking him to let me know if he wants to meet for a bit before, otherwise I could hang out tomorrow.

I haven't heard from him, it's been a couple hours and I know he's out now which is cool. But I don't know what to make of the vibes of his texts? He hasn't initiated anything, aside from saying he'll let me know what his plans are later...not asking to hang out. I don't know if he is losing interest, or if i come across as clingy? I just felt this incredible connection with him and don't want to lose it.



The guy is not interested

I believe you may of felt a deeper connection with him then he did with you. Like Solid said, To bad he is a coward and cannot be honest with you.

Focus on school, Get tutoring if you need it. This giy is not the right one and you are indeed to good for him.

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i never had an intercourse but the doctor said that i have my old ripped hymen and wounds call 6 o'clock 3 o'clock or something that i didn't understand because i am 12 years old at that time, the doctor insert me a thin metal when he found the result, its painful but when he told me to relax it would be done quickly and less painful, then the result that he told me is that i am not a virgin, and now i am 22 and still wondering what happened to my hymen because i never had a sex, what are the possible thing to ripped the hymen without intercourse? i am still a virgin even if the doctor told me i'm not virgin because of my old ripped hymen and i never experience sex?



I am not a doctor and I have more education then your obgyn...

No, Breaking your hymen does not detect whether or,whether not you are a virgin. In order to no longer be s virgin you would actually have to have sexual intercourse.

A hymen can be torn without even knowing. Something as simple as bike riding can do it this is not uncommon.
If you have not had sexual intercourse then you are a virgin.

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I have this gut feeling my boyfriend cheated on me but I'm not completely sure and I can't get him to admit it. One night he just left the house with my cell phone and without telling me that he was leaving or where he was going. He was gone for about 8 hours and when he came home I could tell he was high and when I asked him about it he said he had taken some pills. I had borrowed my moms car and went looking for him at all of his friends' houses (that I know of) but he wasn't at any of them. When I asked him where he had went he kept saying he was at his friend Nick's house and I knew that wasn't true because I went by there 3 times and he wasn't there. I could never get him to tell me where he really was. The next day I found the undershirt that he had been wearing the night before in the floor board in the back seat of our car with cum stains all over it. When I asked him about it he got real defensive and accused me of doing stuff that I shouldn't be doing then he finally told me that he had "pleasured himself" and that he had used his undershirt to clean up. He had a pillow in the trunk that had been in there for a little over a week and when I got into the trunk the other day I noticed that the pillow case was missing but the pillow was still there. The pillow case was still on the pillow the day before all this happened. He's lied to me quite a bit before and I think he's lying to me about cheating on me too. Just by him refusing to tell me where he was that night, erasing the numbers he called on my phone that night, the undershirt with cum stains all over it, and the missing pillow case really makes me think he cheated on me. This was a little over a week ago but I really can't get over it and I don't know what to do. All I want is for him to tell me the truth but I don't know how to get him to. I've tried to forget about it and move on and some days it seems like I can but some days it's all I can think about. Should I keep asking him about it or should I just drop it?




He cheated, All the obvious signs are there. People who cheat rarely ever do admit it.

I think you need to sever ties with him in order to move on.
Cheaters will be cheaters and liars will always be liars.

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Okay so i just bought these protein bars, chocolate peanut butter wafer protein bars.. i looked on the back of it and it said that it has 400 calories, now ive been trying to lose weight and ive lost so much so far, and i want to keep going. Now im not going to eat the whole bar, im just planning on eating only half or even LESS than half once a day, im just terrified itl cause weight gain because i don't usually eat any chocolate on my diet but i heard that because its a protein bar its good for weight loss, it also says "carb concious" on it so im guesing thats a good thing, im just really nervous i dont want this to backfire and cause me to gain weight. should i replace my breakfast meal with half of a protien bar? or is it as a snack? or what i dont really know how much to eat or anything, so some guidance would be greatly appreciated, thanks so much in advance


Hello

Here is a tip

Use small plates and eat with the other hand ;) try to eat a small meal every 3 hours. Healthy, sugar free and low fat
Remember to watch your sodium intake


I have lost 90 lbs in almost a year.

Here is what I did

Switched regular milk for lactaid
No fast food and stuck with a diet of 7g of fat and sugar no more.
Exercise
I cut out all bread except for wheat
I do not eat any type of pasta
Coffee and tea is decaf only with splenda
Lots of fruit and veggies
Fish nuts and a protein shake a day.


Anyway, I dont know much about protein bars per say but why dont you try whey protein? Whey is a protein powder that comes in different flavors. My jar contains a total of 52g protein :) weight loss us rewarding and congrats on what you lost so far! Do not get discouraged

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You may want to check the question, "my wife says she wants to sleep with other men" for the details leading up to this question. I told my wife "NO!" I told her that I loved her dearly and could not stomach the thought of her with another man. Additionally, I was thinking of our kids and careers with this response. Kids have to go to school with their friends and the black guy in question is one of their teachers. My wife also teaches in the same building. I am a principal in another building in the same district. Now my wife tells me that she is also thinking of our kids and careers and that I need to say "YES" because she was the woman that she described as having the affair with this black guy. Now she pees on a stick and tells me she is approaching 8 weeks pregnant and will soon start to show. My wife and I decided that I would have a vasectomy years ago after our last son was born. So, there is little question who the father will be. She thinks that there will be scandle if I do not stay with her. It is also likely that all three of us will lose our jobs and our careers might not recover from this. I see my only chance to salvage my career is to go public and cut ties with her. She obviously wasn't thinking of me when she was with him. Problem is I still love her and she tells me that she still loves me and that it was just sex with no emotional ties or commitment. Additionally, the kids are the victims no matter what I do. I am very torn about how I should handle this. On one hand I have always loved her very much and I love my kids and on the other hand I am very hurt! A marriage is based on love and trust. How can I ever trust her again? I know others have been where I am. Please, I am open to suggestions.

Additional Details

The make-up sex has been great. She has been after me like a newly wed. I still love her and love sex with her but the cheating and I the whole time that I am making love to her I cannot get the image of another man crawling all over my wife out of my head. Does that image ever go away?

2 days ago

Am I a bad person? I love having all the recent sex with my wife. She is very horny now. She says that I am her husband and that I am the one she loves. She insists on staying together; but, I am starting divorce proceedings. She won't give him up and wants me to come watch their meeting tomorrow after school. She thinks that if I see her with him that I would understand their relationship.Whether I come watch or not, whether I approve or not she is going to meet him. Then she wants to come home to me with loads of him inside her and screw me all night. The thought makes me very horny and repulses me at the same time. About the child, he told my wife to get an abortion. He wants nothing to do with fatherhood and raising a child. He told my wife that he is just in it for the sex! It is amazing to me how a woman with a Bachelor's and Master's degree can be so dumb! She keeps going back to him drooling like a puppy that has been beaten. What the hell does she see in him? If we stay together, my wife plans that at the end of the school year she will only be 5 months pregnant. She will tell everyone that she had a miscarriage and she wants to get away for a while.Which at her age is reasonable. Then she will have the baby in another city and return for next school year telling everyone that after losing her baby we decided to adopt. Thus explaining the interracial child. She is sneaky and has given this a lot of thought. One of my biggest fears is if I have the courage to divorce her what will I do for sex. I don't see myself being celibate The bar scene is not for me. And I don't see myself being satisfied masturbating to internet porn. I mean, I will be divorced, mid 40's and within spitting distance of 50, balding and 15-20 pounds overweight, who would want to be with me? I am only tall when I am standing on my wallet which I am sure lawyers, court fees, divorce, and child support will greatly reduce. So now what?



I really think at this point the best choice is to file for divorce.

I read your previous qurstion ad well

Its this simple, you are not okay with her being with another man.

This marriage is the beginning if an end. Allowing your wife to sleep around sets a poor example upon your children. I am sorry to disappoint you hear but you need to stop thinking with your penis. This situation is not going to get better as your wife has already had an affair. Also, There may,be a possibility she has slept with more then one person. Continuing to have sexual relations with this person is opening yourself to risk of std. Personally I would rather be alone then to be lied to every day. Your not saving yourself humiliation by staying with her, your causing yourself humiliatiin by not leaving.

I do not blame you one bit, I certainly would not be okay with it either. I think you would be opening yourself up to a world of disappointments if you stayed. Sometimes you can love someone but you need to do what is best for you. You mentioned you have kids and I would think it would be a very unhealthy thing for them to watch your wife lead a dishonest way of life. Its wrong

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I lived somewhere for 9 years.(dont wanna reveal myself to the internet)I liked a girl for 4 of those years, i had a friend for a long time( lets call him Albert) then a knew friend came( sam) and i started letting go of Albert. In fourth grade i decided to tell the girl i liked her but i was a wimp. And that same year we moved somewhere else. Those 2 years were what i call "study years." i did well at school and nothing too bad happened to me. Then after those two years i moved somewhere else again(where im living now) and there i fell in love once again. This time i asked her out, she rejected. But there was plan B, another girl, i asked her out.. rejected. And im not even ugly, im actually kinda good to OK looking here. The next year Plan B girl left the school, but Plan A girl was still there, and we were just friends. But i started noticing this girl, which i knew last year since shes a popular girl, but know i have feelings and im making no BIG move but small steps. But sometimes i get so angry that im so useless and no girl ever liked me, as a job i want to be a criminal, like robbing big banks. I dont know what to do with my life, its so boring, and i know a girlfriend could change it all, she could make me happy. What should i do?! Should i just wait and e bored all my life just waiting till im a fully grown man?


Could it be your outlook on life? "Wanting to be a criminal and robbing banks" doesn't exactly sound like someone with a positive attitude. It could also be the way you approach the situation.

I as a female do not like men who seem to have negetive outlooks. I am attracted to confidence, honesty and dense of humor. (Example) I honestly could care less about looks.
Of course we all have our standards as so do I but 95% reflects on personality.

Another possibility is you may be looking in the wrong areas. You mentioned one girl was popular but the truth is most of the popular people tend to be snotty and concieted. Popularity is just one of them words that's not exactly in the 'reality' dictionary. I am not sure of your age but maybe try looking for girls that don't seem to be aiming for attention? Be open minded to anything. In the meantime I wouldn't focus so much on finding someone I would let it just happen but sgain try setting up a better goal for yourself.

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