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How to make friends in college when you're shy?
I’m a sophomore in a huge college and I'm having a really hard time. My best friend since middle school, who’s also my roommate, has changed so much that it’s clear we probably won’t hang out at all after this semester, the only guy I’ve ever had any sort of intimate relation with just withdrew and I’ll never see him again, and my only other friend is dropping out after this semester. It's hard right now, but I can't imagine what it'll be like next year when I literally don't have anyone. I’m really shy and awkward and I have really low confidence, and even in high school seeing the same people every day in school, it was hard for me to make friends. I feel like I have nobody to talk to. Recently I’ve realized that crying in my room every night was only going to make me more sad, so I went to the activities fair and plan on maybe joining this one club, even though the thought of that terrifies me and I'm not sure how much it'll even help. I still think about how with my personality, the chances of me finding a friend group to fit into (as a sophomore, when people have already established their groups and no one really cares about making new friends) are very low. I've been trying to distract myself so I'm not so sad, but you can only keep yourself busy for so long, especially when you don't have anyone to keep you company.
I know it's a lot but I guess I'm asking:
- How do I make friends in college, as a painfully shy sophomore? I never know what to say in conversations.
- Even if I do find a "friend" in class or in a club, like someone I make small talk with every once in a while, how do I turn that into a real friendship without seeming pushy or desperate?
- General tips on being more confident, more outgoing, stopping the sadness when you start to feel it coming, etc.?
- Comforting words just to make me feel better? (:
Sorry it's so long but thanks so much for reading and/or responding.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I have a nasty combo of selective mutism/ Depression
I am 27 years oldand I have no friends and all too many times can't socialize with someone for more then 10 minutes.
Now, Sometimes as uncomfortable as we are or become we need to take situations with a grain of salt. If you find yourself in a situation where
Smile when you see someone start with simple small talk (Hey how are you today? Like the shirt) be friendly and opening to s conversation. If there are clubs then try joining one. Find something that interest you. Being friendly will open up the door to friends anf sometimes in order to make these friends we need to come out of our shell a bit.
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Just be yourself! say hi, tell them what your future plans are, ask them about themselves, dont get creepy, but keep it simple. before you know it you'll have tons of new friends! Getting close friends has to come natural. it comes from hanging out alot, maybe having classes together. grab some lunch, have some beers! i garuntee that half your college is just as shy as you! no worries you'll be just fine! need more help please ask(:
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